Zero Credit(s)

Episode 415: The Pirates of the Caribbean: THE RIDES, ALL THE RIDES!

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 19:32:07 +0000

Done with the movies, we turn hard port to starboard toward what lies beyond the horizon: THE RIDES, ALL THE RIDES! Disneyland, Disney World, Disneyland Tokyo, Disneyland Paris, and Disney Shanghai all have a pirates related ride and we are here to dissect them and rank them amongst each other as requested by you, the fams, as part of our series on The Pirates of the Caribbean. We’re off to land now, scavy dogs, so you best ship out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 414: The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 19:50:26 +0000

Well, we’re finally here at the last Pirates movie, hat in hand, begging for the final one of these movies to redeem the franchise and reward our time spent watching every single one of these movies in full. Will that happen? You know the answer. Right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 413: The Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 13:28:34 +0000

Well, we finally made it to a Pirates movie neither John nor Henry had seen before and boy is this one a doozy. Can Jack Sparrow carry a movie on his own? Will the best thing about these movies continue to be the Geoffrey Rush of it all? Only time will tell, I suppose, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 412: The Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 17:50:14 +0000

Well, here we are at the end of the pirates trilogy. After this, there will be no more pirates movies. Crazy right? How far we’ve co–wait, there’s two more? Ugh, fine. We’ll do those, too. Right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 411: The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 12:59:37 +0000

Back onto the high seas with we, as there be more pirates to see! We continue our foray into the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise with the second film of the series. Davy Jones, lost love, and crab people await us, but does this high seas adventure measure up to its predecessor, or will it sink all the way to Davy Jones’ locker? Find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 410: The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 19:02:41 +0000

Arrrgh, dear fams, the time is nigh. You voiced it, we heard it, the pirates are here and it’s time to delve into Davy John’s locker for the plunder that is a Supplemental Reading of this fan-favorite film franchise. Do the likes of Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, and Geoffrey Rush have the mettle to brave the high seas, or will they be walkin’ the plank? Find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 409: The Invisible Man (2020)

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 13:59:38 +0000

It’s time to continue our own Build-A-DUCU Experiment with 2020’s The Invisible Man, written and directed by Leigh Whannell. Does this psycho thriller of a woman (Elisabeth Moss) tortured by a rich ex-boyfriend (some guy) earn its place in the DUCU, or are the connections hard to see? Find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 408: The Wrecking Crew (2026)

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 14:29:41 +0000

Continuing our coverage of the Dark Universe, we veer off the road into a helicopter and tackle two burly men who eat Steroid Pancakes for breakfast. Yes, this has nothing to do with the Dark Universe, nor does it have anything to do with the FFCU. Instead, enjoy Henry and John day tripping off to Hawaii to talk about their daddy issues. Will James and Jonny Hale bring the promised buddy cop comedy drama, or does the whole island sort of just fall short? Find out right now, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 407: Big Game 60

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 20:46:45 +0000

It’s time once again for a regular ole episode, one covering all the happenings of the annual Big Game (don’t sue us). Henry and John hit the gridiron to tackle the highs and lows of the evening including an overview of the game, a deep dive into the halftime show, and of course a step by step data point dissection of those time-honored and most beloved commercials. Will Big Game 60 go down in the books as one to remember, or is it an uh-oh stinky? Find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 406: The Mummy (2017)

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 14:02:18 +0000

Continuing our coverage of the Dark Universe, we dive head first into the Mummy (2017) with Tom Cruise, Jake Johnson, and others. Will we unwrap the mysteries of why this movie failed to launch the Dark Universe proper, or fall victim of the Mummy’s curse and have to kiss her? Is Tom Cruise or Russell Crowe the better actor? All of these questions and more considered, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 405: The Shadow’s Edge (2025) Ft. Drew

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 16:55:34 +0000

Drew from the Marvel’s A.C.E. is here to deliver some expert martial arts analysis for Jackie Chan’s latest film The Shadow’s Edge, a remake of 2007’s Eye in the Sky. Does this Chinese film never released to the West have the chops, or do its punches bounce off like mosquito bites? Find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 404: Dracula Untold (2014)

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 14:08:36 +0000

Finally, we start our coverage of the Dark Universe Cinematic Universe (DUCU) with this, the untold story behind one Dracula. Does this legend turned to myth turned to historical horror/thriller stand the test of time, or does it crumble under the weight of so much promise? Join Henry and John as they descend into the camp what makes vampires, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 403: Wake Up Dead Man (2025)

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 14:34:25 +0000

Happy New Year, Fams. We’re kicking off 2026 with a deep dive into the latest Knives Out Mystery by Rian Johnson with a smattering of plans for the rest of the year. Does Wake Up Dead Man live up to the Knives Out name, or will it be buried under the full weight of the Church? Find out right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 402: Best/Worst 2025

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 14:03:30 +0000

Well it’s that time of the year once again. We tabulate whether the year is a good or a bad via 10 spot checks into the Zeitgeist. Movies, Video Games, and Television kick us off into seven randomly picked categories submitted by you, the dear fams of our show. Will 2025 go down in the annals of good, or will it stomp through the china shop of bad? Let’s find out one last time (in 2025) right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 401: Frankenstein (2025)

Fri, 12 Dec 2025 14:00:48 +0000

It’s back to the lab again for the last Supplemental Reading of 2025 and we’re tackling Victor Frankenstein and his monster. Does Guillermo Del Toro’s new work fit within the canon of Frankenstein, the Frankencanon? Or does it simply fall to pieces in the end? Find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 400: A Supplemental Reading of The World’s End (2007)

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 18:42:05 +0000

Surprise! Life’s getting hectic, so you get this episode early. It’s the 400th (numbered) episode of Zero Credit(s) and we’re capping it off by capping off the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy with The World’s End. Can Edgar Wright and Co. deliver a satisfying ending to this beloved trilogy? We can only hope. Thanks for listening for all these years! 400 more episodes to go! Right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 399: Hot Fuzz (2007)

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 14:16:19 +0000

Dipping into the next flavour, if you will, of the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy, we have Hot Fuzz. Still direct by Edgar Wright, still starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, only this time in blue. Is the comedy, action, thriller good enough to stand on its own merits? Let’s find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 398: Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Fri, 14 Nov 2025 14:10:54 +0000

It’s time to get sticky as we embark on covering the entirety of Edgar Wright’s Cornetto trilogy starting with Shaun of the Dead (2004). What does the zombie comedy horror hold for us? Are there any comparisons to obscure video games? You’ll have to find out, right now on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 397: A Supplemental Reading of the Trailer to Star Wars: The Mandalorian & Grogu (2026)

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 14:10:12 +0000

In a first every emergency supplemental reading, the Zero Credit(s) boys punch it into hyperspeed to fly amongst those warring stars once again. That’s right, the trailer to Star Wars; The Mandalorian & Grogu dropped a month ago and John just saw it for the first time, so he insisted that we cover it on the show. Is this setting a weird precedent, the ramifications of which are not fully understood? Find out, right here on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 396: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) Ft. Jamie

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 12:58:40 +0000

John has left us. In his stead, we have friend of the show Jamie to fill in as we head tot he kitchen to dilute the sauce. Tomato sauce, that is. It’s Attack of the Killer Tomatoes as suggested by Jessica, right here on Zero Credit(s)! Happy Frightentimes!

Episode 395: It Follows (2014)

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 13:03:54 +0000

Continuing our Frightentimes Movietimes, we have 2014’s modern classic It Follows. Come dream with us as we discuss the composition and aesthetic of a horror movie that creeps Henry to the bone and gives John the heebie jeepies, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 394: The Descent (2005)

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 12:53:26 +0000

It’s the mother of all deep dives this week as we descend into The Descent. Six women enter a cave and it’s questionable if any of them leave. What are Henry and John’s spooky thoughts about this creepy movie about cave? Find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 393: The Skeleton Key (2005)

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 13:01:04 +0000

In August 2005, Louisiana and the Gulf Coast were changed forever. The Skeleton Key, filmed there, was the source of that change. No other reason. =)

Join us as we walk you down to the bayou and do a little deep dive into this classic (?) horror film the Louisiana way, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 392: Hausu/House (1977)

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 13:13:02 +0000

Oh, hello there again. It must be…that time. Well alright. Join us. For a discussion of 1977’s House, a film for the whole family. We’ve been dying for you. To arrive.

Episode 391: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

Fri, 26 Sep 2025 12:57:09 +0000

To honor the late Robert Redford, we explore maybe his biggest role of all time and find a bunch of surprises along the way. The ZC Boys head to Bolivia because the law’s after them, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 390: Friendship (2024)

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 13:00:15 +0000

We are such huge fans of Tim Robinson’s work that it’s an honor to get a chance to dive into a movie that was tailor made for him, even if he didn’t write or direct it in anyway. Andrew DeYoung watched I Think You Should Leave and decided to pen a movie just for Tim, and here it is. Join us as we take on the emotional journey of men making Friends in their middle age, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 389: Sinners (2025)

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 12:59:38 +0000

The ZC Boys head back to Mississippi in this one to fully understand and appreciate Sinners by Ryan Coogler. Michael B. Jordan plays twins. A lot of people sing the blues. Miles Caton’s voice is amazing. But what lies underneath this Delta tale? Find out right now on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 388: K-Pop Demon Hunters (2025)

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 12:58:52 +0000

The Zero Credit(s) boys jump on the bandwagon to review K-Pop Demon Hunters, the number one movie in the world (at the time of recording). Getting out of our usual genre traps of horror, superhero, thriller in this American Urban Fantasy film – will we be able to relate? Are the songs good? Let’s find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 387: Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws (1995)

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 18:05:00 +0000

So, we found a 5th Jaws movie in the form of a straight to video English language Italian film directed by Bruno Mattei. It is…how it sounds. And we had a little audio hiccup throughout the episode, but we watched this film and bothered to talk about it so we’re releasing the episode anyway, audio hiccups and all. Enjoy! Right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 386: A Supplemental Reading of Tremors (1990)

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 12:59:01 +0000

We’re heading to Perfection to unearth what’s beneath 1990’s Tremors. Does this cult classic horror/thriller/comedy hold up in today’s post-Tremor’s world? Can Kevin Bacon’s career survive? How many other films can we bring in to compare this one to? All these questions and more finally answered, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 385: A Supplemental Reading of Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins (1991) Ft. Drew

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 13:02:46 +0000

Drew has come back to the podcast, but we forget to ask him for his opinions about New York. Instead, he brings to us a movie in the form of 1991’s Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins, a Taiwanese unofficial adaptation of Akira Toriyama’s legendary manga. What do three Dragon Ball enthusiasts think of this film? Find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 384: A Supplemental Reading of Superman (2025)

Fri, 08 Aug 2025 12:59:44 +0000

Look, up in the sky! It’s a podcast about James Gunn’s Superman! That’s right, with the waters conquered, we turn to the sky to fly high into the newest installment of the DCU with the summer blockbuster that is Superman. Does this latest attempt at establishing a cinematic universe to rival marvel at least stand on its own two feet? Find out right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Music Credit:

Superman Theme
from Superman on Fanicom

Episode 383: A Supplemental Reading of Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 14:30:00 +0000

Bigger boats were had. Bigger sharks have fallen. Here we are at the end of the Summer of Jaws with Jaws: The Revenge, a last gasp if there ever was one. How does the final entry into the Jaws franchise fair? Henry and John head once more back into the ocean to find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 382: A Supplemental Reading of Jaws 3-D (1983)

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 12:56:26 +0000

Our Summer of Jaws gets a new dimension this week, as we delve into the deeps of Jaws 3-D. Can Dennis Quaid bring new light to a franchise that’s already wearing itself the tiniest bit thin? Well, there’s only one way to find out. No bigger boats are needed this week, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 381: A Supplemental Reading of Jaws 2 (1978)

Fri, 18 Jul 2025 12:57:58 +0000

Just when you thought it was safe to listen to podcasts, we cover Jaws 2 (1978). How does the follow up to the world’s first blockbuster movie fair in the wake of the original shark movie? That is what we aim to find out, come shark or high water. Join us as we take a deep dive into the shark infested waters of Amity one more time right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 380: A Supplemental Reading of Jaws (1975)

Fri, 11 Jul 2025 12:59:55 +0000

In honor of the 50th anniversary, we’re kicking off our Summer of Jaws, starting with the film that started it all. The beaches of Amity don’t know what’s about to hit them, and neither do John and Henry as we dive deep into the shark infested waters to explore the depths of this all time great classic movie. Will we survive the shark’s wrath or fall to the perils of the deep? Find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 379: A Supplemental Reading of Kraven the Hunter (2024)

Fri, 04 Jul 2025 13:00:48 +0000

Well, here we are at the end of the Sony Spiderman Universe with Kraven the Hunter. What lessons does this last entry have for us to learn in the final hour of its life? Let’s ask our good friend Dre–Oh, he’s not here. Huh. I wonder if he knew. Well, let’s find out what awaits us at the end together, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 378: A Supplemental Reading of Venom the Last Dance (2024)

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 17:30:32 +0000

In our continuing exploration of the Sony Spider-Man Cinematic Universe, we come to the penultimate entry of our would-be rouges gallery. But what’s this, why does this seem like a send off for one of the more successful and popular characters? Agents of M.A.C.E.’s Drew joins us to get down to the bottom of what’s going on, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 377: A Supplemental Reading of Madame Web (2024)

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 18:31:45 +0000

The Venomverse returns! After a long hiatus, we are back to discuss every inch of Sony’s Spider-Man Cinematic Universe. What mysteries does the illustrious Madame Web hold? Does the plot of this movie…make sense? No? Anyone? All these answers and more right here on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 376: A Supplemental Reading of Morbius (2022)

Fri, 09 May 2025 14:20:17 +0000

We continue our Venomverse Summer by biting into Morbius (2022), a movie featuring vampires, dancing Matt Smith, and a lot of people forgetting to say “bat.” Does the third addition to Sony’s Spider-Man Universe stand out from the previous Venom movies, or is this more of the same villain turned hero but really a villain fair? Find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 375: A Supplemental Reading of Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) (Ft. Drew)

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 13:13:58 +0000

Drew from Agents of M.A.C.E joins us to discuss Venom: Let There Be Carnage. He may know a lot about Marvel, but does he get like our whole thing at Zero Credit(s)? Possibly. Does the sequel to the 2018 hit hold up the legacy of a character that John has liked since being a small child? Find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 374: A Supplemental Reading of Venom (2018)

Fri, 18 Apr 2025 12:51:27 +0000

The Summer of Venom (Venummer) is here for all to enjoy! Join us as we delve into the Venomverse (also known as Sony’s Spider-Man Universe) as we discover what gems there are to find. Tom Hardy teams up with himself to deliver a super hero romp. What are our thoughts? Find out now on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 373: A Supplemental Reading of Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024)

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 02:32:21 +0000

Welcome to the Spring of Sonic! We’re covering each of the Sonic the Hedgehog movies directed by Jeff Fowler starting with the first one. Do Ben Schwartz, Jim Carrey, James Marsden and others do the Blue Blur proud? Let’s find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Music Credit:
Crush 40 [8-Bit, VRC6] | 소닉 어드벤처 2 메인 테마[8비트] by 브금맨 JX

Episode 372: A Supplemental Reading of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 14:18:15 +0000

Episode 371: A Supplemental Reading of Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 13:02:44 +0000

Music Credit:
Sonic – Green Hill Zone (Rukasu Remix) by EDM Bot

Episode 370: A Supplemental Reading of Snowpiercer (2013)

Fri, 21 Mar 2025 12:58:49 +0000

30 MINUTES OF THIS EPISODE ARE MISSING. After a trip to the future, the ZC boys return…to the future? All aboard Bong Joon-Ho’s Snowpiercer for a rousing debate about class systems and capitalism. Is the movie better or worse than Mickey 17? Well, that’s not what we do here, but since the question was asked, find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 369: A Supplemental Reading of Mickey 17 (2025)

Fri, 14 Mar 2025 13:03:24 +0000

Welcome to our four year journey to the planet of Bong Joon-Ho’s Mickey 17 starring Robert Pattinson, Toni Collette, Mark Ruffalo, Steven Yeun, and Naomi Ackie. Henry and John have died time and time again to dive deep into the themes of this Cyberpunk Sci-Fi piece and boy, there are many. Are they executed as well as the previous 16 Mickeys? Let’s find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 368: A Supplemental Reading of The Substance (2024)

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 14:04:06 +0000

Once again we find ourselves examining society through the lens of a horror movie. Directed by Coralie Fargeat, The Substance (2024) is a movie that defies genre trappings to deliver a thoroughly well written experience that shapes the mind. Find out our thoughts and more right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 367: A Supplemental Reading of Captain America Brave New World (2025)

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 20:09:51 +0000

It’s back-to-back new episode week thanks to some technical difficulties! Henry and John deep dive into the latest offering from Marvel for some rousing discussion about how much they enjoyed not liking this movie. Or did they like it? It’s hard to tell, but the only way to find out is by listening right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 366: A Supplemental Reading of Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 16:56:44 +0000

After some technical issues, this promised episode is finally here! A fictional retelling of the filming of Nosferatu that’s…not good? Or is it good? You’ll have to listen to find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 365: A Supplemental Reading of The Big Game LIX

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 14:04:15 +0000

It’s that time-honored annual tradition – we cover all three facets of The Big Game: The Game, the Halftime Show, and the Commercials. Did this year’s primo sporting event deliver in all the ways we desired? Let’s find out, right now, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 364: A Supplemental Reading of Nosferatu the Vampire (1979)

Fri, 24 Jan 2025 14:07:51 +0000

Yes, our New Year, Nosferatu month continues with yet another rendition of the classic tale, this time helmed by Werner Herzog. Is this middle installation of the classic vampire tale worthy of the Nosferatu name, or does it fall short of our dark expectations? Find out right now, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 363: A Supplemental Reading of Nosferatu (2024)

Fri, 17 Jan 2025 14:01:49 +0000

We’re back from the past to dive into a modern day retelling of that time-old tale, Nosferatu. This time helmed by Robert Eggers, what differences do 100 years bring to this legally distinct (but not quite enough) tale of one vampire? Find out right here on the new Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Nosferatu (1922)

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 13:57:44 +0000

We’re kicking off the year by going back 103 to the black and white silent film Nosferatu in an exploration of the German Expressionistic silent era film. Listen to us talk about seeing where it all began, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 362: Best/Worst 2024

Fri, 20 Dec 2024 14:02:21 +0000

Another year ending means another chance to snapshot determine if it was a Good or a Bad. Ten categories, a best and a worst for each of them create the data points for us to analyze this very question. Movie, Video Game, TV Show and 7 randomly picked categories from suggestions you and others sent in. Let’s do this, one last time in 2024, here is Best/Worst right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: The Holiday (2006)

Fri, 13 Dec 2024 14:03:53 +0000

We switch houses and cozy up with Nancy Meyers’ The Holiday (2006) to find ourselves after a recent breakup. Will our relationship with this movie blossom into new love? Or will some scummy guy cheat on us a few times? Find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Wicked (2024)

Fri, 06 Dec 2024 14:17:14 +0000

This week we dive into Wicked (2024) to discover if the movie defies gravity or just turns us into mean-green-witching-machines.

Supplemental Reading: Heretic (2024)

Fri, 22 Nov 2024 14:22:26 +0000

We continue our current events avoidance with Heretic (2024) directed by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods starring Hugh Grant, Chloe East, and Sophie Thatcher. Does this movie knock on the door of quality – yes, it does, that’s not the real question. The real question is what makes it so darn good? Let’s find out together, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Trap (2024)

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 21:18:03 +0000

When you go to a concert expecting a good time but it turns out the concert is an elaborate trap to catch you, a serial killer. Who hasn’t this happened to? Welcome to our deep dive of Trap, a movie by M. Night Shyamalan released in 2024.

Episode 361: Our Favorite Christian Anime

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 13:10:59 +0000

The finale of the Frightentimes is upon us! But don’t worry, we have the power of God and anime on our side! That and the final Highway/Hellway to the Hellhouse, all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Sinister (2012)

Fri, 25 Oct 2024 13:00:49 +0000

According to a scientific study by BroadbandChoices.co.uk, powered by Money Supermarket, this is the scariest movie of all time. Their variables include increase in heartrate in audiences including a total peak heart rate spike, but does this movie earn it? That’s what John and Henry are here to find out – right now on a the Zero Credit(s) Supplemental Reading of Sinister.

Episode 360: IRIP Russell Brand

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 13:03:35 +0000

The Frightentimes Roll on as we cover a new scam from Russell Brand, John’s career moves, and a turbocharged Hellway to the Hellhouse, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 359: The Original Rat Pack of Comedy

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 12:59:25 +0000

Listen up, ghouls and other ghouls – the Frighentimes are in full swing. Henry’s lost all his blood and is a bit loopy. John is. We’ve got all your frights and special Frightentimes spotlight to shine this week on Zero Credit(s). (This episode of our audio only podcast was filmed in black and white for artistic reasons).

Episode 358: The Oreo Coke/Coke Oreo Incident

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 13:01:48 +0000

We do what we do in the name of science and furthering our understanding of this world. That being said, maybe we shouldn’t have done this…

Episode 357: The New Normcore

Fri, 27 Sep 2024 13:06:18 +0000

The boys are tired, but the zeitgeist never sleeps. Brett Favre, The New Norm, Mike Lindell, and much, much more right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 356: Moo Deng Autumn

Thu, 19 Sep 2024 14:51:16 +0000

With Brat Summer coming to a close, it’s time to give way to Moo Deng Autumn, a thing everyone already knows about, so it’s perfectly reasonable and justifiable to mock people who don’t know about it yet. We’ve got that plus a new Coke flavor, a mini-moon, and John gets very excited about a federal rate cut, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 355: Da ‘Bate

Fri, 13 Sep 2024 13:00:56 +0000

Well it’s De ‘Bate time once again and we…are recording during it so we can’t cover any of it. Whoops! Instead, check out our thoughts on the death of a part of the Internet Archive, the discovery of celebrity number six, and some generally funny JD Vance comments with apparently wide ranging implications right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 354: John Went to the Beach that Makes You Old

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 13:00:34 +0000

A very much older John returns from the beach to tell us his tales of eldritch horror this week, while Henry regales us with the current happening tales of Amazon drivers and a seemingly ill begotten movie for a popular video game franchise. That and a new and improved funny Highway to the Hellhouse, this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 353: Whatever Makes Sense

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 13:14:41 +0000

John is back in the booths this week to bring us his thoughts on Alien: Romulus while Henry continues the war against 7.99 fast food prices. That and a highlight version of Highway to the Hellhouse, this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 352: Dishin’ ‘Bout Disney ft Jamie

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 13:04:40 +0000

John is out sick this week, so Jamie’s here to fill that J void. We’ve got some Disney news and a juicy, new perspective Highway to the Hellhouse right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 13:01:20 +0000

For the first Supplemental Reading in [checks notes] over a year?!, the ZC Boys dive headfirst into the fourth wall breaking madness that is 2024’s Deadpool and Wolverine. Will this movie save the MCU and by association all other superhero movies forever? Let’s find out.

Episode 351: Walz to Walz

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 12:56:36 +0000

We’ve got a jumbo sized episode this week to cover all the goings-on – the Lympic Games, the VP pick, and a overstuffed Highway to the Hellhouse coming for you this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 350: IT Girl

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 13:09:04 +0000

Historic weekend after historic weekend has the ZC boys reeling this week with an even longer Highway to the Hellhouse as new candidate Kamala requires some in-depth coverage. That and the largest IT outage since the invention of IT, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 349: None Left, None Left, None Left (All Right)

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 12:58:45 +0000

In the wake of historical events, the Zero Credit(s) boys stop to report just the facts of what happened. No jokes here. Except for the ones in the episode. Right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 348: California Podcast Kitchen

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 13:01:41 +0000

The boys are back from California and boy have they missed a lot. Some lightning round Headlines leading right into a pretty long and heavy Highway to the Hellhouse, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 347: Wizards Aren’t Legally People ft Drew

Fri, 28 Jun 2024 13:03:33 +0000

John has spirited away to San Fransicko, so we’ve had to call in the big guns. Everyone, meet Drew. Together, we talk video games, scandals, Deadpool x Wolverine, and of course that ever important segment The Highway to the Hellhouse. It’s all right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 346: Devil Man AI-Baby

Fri, 21 Jun 2024 12:58:37 +0000

This is one of those episodes that is truly all over the place in the best of ways – anime recs, AI, Highway to the Hellhouse, all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 345: A Law Abiding Cinnamon

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 12:59:40 +0000

Happy Birthday to John! We got you this spicy episode that’s increasingly more and more political talk as we round a corner on the Highway to the Hellhouse. Also, a lot of VR talk, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 344: President Biting vs Jonald thee Trump

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 13:05:47 +0000

The orcas are back, but this time we might know why. That and a thrilling Highway to the Hellhouse with the conclusion of one of Trump’s criminal trials. All that and more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 343: Gayger Counter

Fri, 31 May 2024 13:01:02 +0000

Henry is back from his sojourn to the World of Coca-Cola with tales from his experience while John brings us breaking news from the papacy. Then it’s a simple little Memorial Day themed Highway to the Hellhouse, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 342: Delve, Hoover, Peg

Fri, 24 May 2024 13:03:28 +0000

What’s that, the AI people are doing something dumb again? Well you know John’s there getting all the details. Henry’s got a small Godzilla update and then it’s straight onto the Highway to the Hellhouse. A new movie. A new announcement. What’s going on? Find out right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 341: Let Me Call Walt Disney Real Quick

Fri, 17 May 2024 13:10:15 +0000

We’re so back this week with some lightning round headline round up. Boeing whistleblowers, Helldivers 2 scandals, and a rap battle for the ages. That plus a lightning round Highway to the Hellhouse where we dive into some of the best news for each candidate. Your number one delayed news source is here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 340: Kayfabe On/Off – John Doxxes Himself

Fri, 03 May 2024 12:59:55 +0000

As part of a special Highway to the Hellhouse lead-in, John takes the unprecedented step to reveal his true identity. It’s really insane that he did this. Like truly, truly mind blowing. I never thought we’d see the day, but here it is. That and some juicy Rock gossip, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 339: John Had a Lot of Fun on This One

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 13:00:53 +0000

When I tell you that Henry was unprepared for this episode, let it be known that he had prepared topics to discuss but it was all thrown out as soon as John joined the call. Tesla, some Trump related Highway to the Hellhouse news, and some shady uses of AI are coming at you, as well as a lot of things John has in store, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 13:00:54 +0000

Join us as we venture to Hallow Earth in this deep drive of Adam Wingard’s 2024 feature film Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. How will this latest addition to the Monsterverse stack up to previous entries? How will this supposed Godzilla movie stack up to other recent Godzilla offerings? Is there merit in trying to recreate the feeling of an 80’s toy aisle? All these questions answered, somewhat, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 338: In the Path of Totality

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 13:08:35 +0000

The skies darkened and we were there to witness it. Plus: Dwayne the Rock Johnson stars on a special Highway to the Hellhouse. That and much more upsetting news, right here on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 337: It All Comes Back to Musk

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 12:59:26 +0000

The Musk Rat is back in the news as Tesla takes a dive this week. That and John gives us some much awaited Sam Bankman-Fried news as his sentencing is sentenced. Plus a lightning round of Highway to the Hellhouse, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 336: Bridges of SPACison County

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 13:10:28 +0000

A bridge fell in Baltimore and we all heard it, and the conspiracy pilled minds won’t shut up about it. Meanwhile, Trump gets bailed out by some super shady maneuvering on the NASDAQ and John has all the confusing and frankly shocking-that-that’s-legal details. All of that plus some extra grifts, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 335: March (Onward, Highway to the Hellhouse) Madness

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 13:47:06 +0000

Ah, March. The time of peacefully enjoying our da– AND IT’S TIME FOR SO MUCH BASKETBALL, YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. STREAM IT ON PARAMOUNT+. STREAM IT ON HULU+. STREAM IT ON TRUTV+. STREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS. PICK A TEAM AND WATCH THEM LOSE, JUST TO DO IT AGAIN. IT’S MADNESS I TELL YOU. MADNESS!

Episode 334: S(Oscars)uth by S(Oscars)uthwest

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 12:56:12 +0000

We’ve sent John into the fields of South by Southwest to report back what Nick Kroll is up to. Meanwhile, Henry observed and studied the very stars (read: celebrities) in their natural habitats (read: the Oscars). We’ve got all that plus tons of dumb jokes, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 333: Meat and Honey (Super Tuesday)

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 14:03:02 +0000

It’s time we got political here on Zero Credit(s), so buckle up for the premier of our year-long new segment Highway to Hellhouse where we cover all the latest and most important news relating to the 2024 U.S. Presidential Election. That’s right, we are rededicating the podcast to becoming your number one source of election news, released weekly, and most likely being irrelevant by the time the episode comes out. So join us on this highway, we’ll be the car on fire.

Episode 332: The 2024 ZPCP Orlando Retreat

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 13:59:14 +0000

The ZCPC boys are back from their retreat to Orlando where they focused on teambuilding, synergy, and buying as much Disney swag as they could. But what did they learn on this five day excursion to the Mecca of Mickey? There’s only one way to find out (spoiler: it’s nothing, we learned nothing).

Episode 331: Water off the Back of Andy Reid

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 19:40:31 +0000

It’s our annual Big Game episode and what a Big Game it was – we’ve got statistician Henry to bring us all the important stats of the game and resident sports enjoyer John to give us the color commentary. That and an analysis of the night’s big big commercials, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 330: Apparently the Song is a Bop

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 14:03:55 +0000

It’s John’s turn in the driver’s seat as we veer off into another good episode – Hazbin Hotel youtube videos, Universal Music Group takes their music off TikTok, and stream services keep adding, well, ads – all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 329: Mr. Pfizer, Holy War, I Can’t Take It Anymore

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 14:05:34 +0000

We’re back with an in-depth look into what’s going on with Taylor Swift and Big Game 58. Also, John has an unhinged topic that we may just get to (or maybe not). You gotta listen to find out, only here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 328: Hatsune Miku Will Return in Fast 11

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 14:17:01 +0000

Live long enough to die a hero or become a villain, that’s what they say and boy if they aren’t right. We’ve gone some disheartening news about Fast and Furious and some hilarious but disparaging news about the ever increasing use cases for AI. That and less, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 327: Do Better

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 14:15:19 +0000

As we continue to kick off the new year, we’ve got new beef. Patties. John’s got a new AI toy and we’ve got new AI gripes, plus the Rock keeps lying about going to In-N-Out for the first time. That and we go over some of the new public domain materials due to the new year, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 326: The End of ZeitBingo

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 13:58:26 +0000

It’s a new year on Zero Credit(s) and we’re here to ring it in by killing off the segment that got us through 2023. What new wonders await us this year now that we can legally phone it in? Who is to say, right here on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 325: Best/Worst 2023

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 14:11:36 +0000

Dread it, run from it, the end of the year happens all the same. Was 2023 a good or a bad? It’s time to deliberate and find out, the only way we know how: through the arduous task of Best/Worst. For nearly 3 hours, we will debate the best things of each category in order to derive some sort of meaning from them.

Thank you all for a great 2023, see you in the next one!

Supplemental Reading: Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 14:29:29 +0000

Every so often, a movie comes up from the depths and stands 30 stories high without much fanfare or marketing and completely levels your expectations. This is one such movie. Godzilla Minus One is a love letter to the storied franchise and so much more. Listen to some of our deepest dives yet as we try to surface what makes this movie so good.

Episode 324: Sorry, Norman Lear

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 14:01:32 +0000

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s awkward. Norman Lear came up during our bingo update (only a few weeks left), and now he’s gone. I’m not saying we caused him to go, but the timing is very odd. So, we’re sorry, Norman. Maybe if we kept your name out of our mouths, you’d still be here. Also this week: Panera Bread?! That and less, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 323: Covidcast

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 01:52:27 +0000

Henry has covid on this episode of Zero Credit(s), so we apologize in advance for any of the times he coughs that we didn’t edit out. Also, his brain is in a weird space, so please bear with him, John. Water cooler talk and Fast and Furious news abounds! Right here on the show you clicked on.

Supplemental Reading: The Fast and the Furious (1954)

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 14:09:55 +0000

What if we told you that the first Fast and Furious movie was not the first Fast and Furious movie, but an even older entry in the franchise, not only exists, but haunts the very electromagnetic spectrum waves that inhabit our internet? Well it’s true, buddy, and buckle up, cause this is a wild and crazy ride of 1950’s values. Directed and starring John Ireland, this movie is…something. Let’s explore it together, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 322: Ratsgiving

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 13:59:04 +0000

Seasons greetings! The rats are upon us all and the ZC boys are here to ring in good tidings (for the rats). We’ve got the Mouse, the Rat, the Animatronic Rat, the other Mouse, etc., all in one tidy episode for you right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 321: Mucinex Christmas

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 13:56:51 +0000

We’re back! After a month long hiatus (wait…what are all these uploads…), we are back to discuss some crazy goings on. New, weird speakers of houses. Crazy side effects of TikTok. And an almost-to-the-end Zeit-bingo update from John. All of that and a little more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 320: John Kills a Copy of Himself with a Plumber’s Wrench

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 12:58:49 +0000

The end of the Frightentimes is sadly here at last /
But we do not take our feet off the fearful gas /
Spider-Man’s Holes, Elon Musk, and more /
Frightful topics and scares galore /
Await you in this, our last spooky episode /
So don’t hesitate, click play, enjoy the show! /

Episode 319: Double Double Trouble Trouble “Ship O’Theseus”

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 12:55:49 +0000

The Frightentimes continue as we dive deep into a cave to find…ourselves? Doubles are inherently frightening and we discuss why that is in a true return to form for the old days of the show. That and a ton of horror reccs, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 318: Patchgrimage “Return to the Patch”

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 12:57:19 +0000

The Frightentimes continues with some very fun facts about where all pumpkins come from (AND WHERE WE MUST ALL RETURN). We also discuss our favorite horror movies! All right here, on Zero Credit(s) Frightentimes 2023.

Episode 317: Flying Raccoon Suit aka Honkin’ on That Thing

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 13:01:16 +0000

The Zero Credit(s) boys sit down with members of Flying Raccoon Suit who just signed with Bad Time Records for their latest album Moonflower dropping 11/3. Come listen to various chats about their latest songs you haven’t heard yet in preparation of their new single reveal tomorrow (10/13). Right here on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 316: A Wednesday That Will Live in Information

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 13:01:49 +0000

Recorded on a special day, the Zero Credit(s) boys gear up for the test of the national emergency services by giving updates to some previously covered stories. Yes, Henry just wants to talk about Taylor Swift, but as it turns out, so does everyone else – who is the more unhinged? It’s up for you to decide on this perfectly normal episode of Zero Credit(s).

Episode 315: Taylor Swift Saves Football (Ft. Jeff)

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 12:55:07 +0000

The failing football industry can rest easy tonight, as the goddess and patron saint of capital and monetization is here to save it. Taylor Swift attended a football game. This is news. This is such news that we brought on the Zero Credit(s) resident Xpert to talk about it. That and more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 314: The Resident ZCPC Xpert (Ft. Jeff)

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 13:12:28 +0000

John’s across the pond, but thankfully Jeff is back once again to update us about everything X related. That’s right, the resident Zero Credit(s) Podcast Xpert is here to save the day. What lessons does he have in store for us? Let’s find out, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 313: Striking at the Time Pyramid

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 12:59:54 +0000

We’ve got strike updates (strikedates) for you on this very auspicious day, for it is also the day of celebration for the time pyramid. What does that mean? Find out by listening, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 312: seplip diplasion

Fri, 08 Sep 2023 12:58:06 +0000

Out of the dog days of August summer and right into the dog days of September summer – Zero Credit(s) is cooling off (a little) and jumping right into the action with Burning Man. What is Burning Man and why is relevant to today’s cultural happenings? Find out by listening to this very episode of Zero Credit(s).

Episode 311: Box Office Birthday Boy

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 13:04:59 +0000

One of the Zero Credit(s) boys is celebrating a birthday, much to the other’s chagrin. Also, Rest in Peace Bob Barker. We’ve got some box office chats and discussions of the silicon valley city of tomorrow, all right here on the last episode recorded in August. May the upcoming months be much cooler.

Episode 310: Mama Mi-oving On

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 13:39:02 +0000

In a surprise nice weather weak (read: it was under 100 degrees for one day), the boys meet to discuss: the retirement of Mario-voice Charles Martinet, a new special drink that John is All About(TM), and the legal ramifications of non-human authors. We’ve got all that and more right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 309: Blind Sided by Spaghett

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 13:20:27 +0000

It’s another hot one, but this time it’s cause we have so much hot, hot content to cover. The Blind Side, Michael Burry, a weird drink that John goes in depth about for some reason – we’ve got it all PLUS a 2023 bingo card update, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 308: Dancing with the Starsification of the American Mind

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 13:05:35 +0000

The heat rises this week and the ZC boys’ brains are a’cookin’. The title makes this episode sound way more elegant and sophisticated than it really is.

Episode 307: It’s August 1st

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 13:12:59 +0000

The heat is on, but not much else is – so what are the Zero Credit(s) boys to do? Hmm. This is a tough one. It’s 105 degrees. John has AI woes. It’s 105 degrees. Light bulbs have been banned. It’s 105 degrees and it’s August 1st. That and more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Barbie (2023)

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 14:31:07 +0000

Finally, two white guys in their 30s weigh in on Greta Gerwig’s Barbie (2023). We know you’ve been clamoring for our thoughts and here they are. We tried to not talk about Ken too much (and failed) while also tackling the larger themes the film explores. Also we only saw the movie once before recording this.

SPOILER ALERT: This episode contains spoilers for: Barbie (2023).

Music:
Aqua – Barbie Girl (SNES Version)
Meme Music

Episode 306: Zero Credit(s) Goes on Strike

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 13:04:05 +0000

Writing show notes unfortunately would break the picket rules. So would doing episode art. So instead, enjoy these random words: SAG-AFTRA, WGA, STRIKE, PICKET, MOVIES, TELEVISION, TIKTOK, NPC MOMENT, ETC.

Episode 305: The Death of the Internet

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 13:15:26 +0000

The Internet as it was, is no more. Barbenheimer completed their research, resulting in a new social media bomb, one capable of destroying 1000s of Twitters. Or something like that.

Barbie and Oppenheimer are just around the corner, but until then it’s Twitter vs Meta, Elon vs the Zuck. All that and more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Less Than Zero 9: You Couldn’t Pay Me

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 13:09:54 +0000

It’s a solo Henry venture this week – get ready for an OceanGate wrap up, Elon vs Zuckerberg, and a full Choose Your Own Adventure game. All that and less, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Music:

Underclocked – Underclocked Remix
Eric Skiff
ericskiff.com/music

Episode 304: $250k Under the Sea

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 13:06:00 +0000

This episode has aged poorly, but it happened so it’s still going up. Orcas attacking yachts. CEOs cutting corners. More things I can’t remember, all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 303: Fall of Reddit

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 13:12:34 +0000

It’s the heat of the summer, and instead of laying low in the shade, Reddit’s setting everything on fire to make some more money. Henry and John explore what’s happening with Reddit and an exciting new independent media venture, all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Fast X (2023)

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 13:18:32 +0000

Here we stand on the precipice of the end. Fast X. The second (or third) to last movie. How does the Louis Leterrier directed, Justin Lin written movie fair? How does Jason Momoa stack up to the all time great villains of the Fast Saga? And most importantly, where does Fast X come in for the rankings between Henry and John? All of these questions painstakingly answered, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Music:
“Summon the Rawk” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Episode 302: Disney vs DeSantis

Fri, 26 May 2023 13:04:43 +0000

It’s a crazy week and we’ve got a lot to talk about. Fake AI generated images generating too much buzz on the internet. Fake verified profiles propagating even faker news to be picked up by actual news sources. Two powerhouses of Florida taking each other on in a knock-down, drag-out fight to the death. We’ve got that plus more, all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 301: Fast X: Tires of the Kingdom

Fri, 19 May 2023 14:07:29 +0000

As we kick off a new season of Zero Credit(s), we fall on old habits. Fast and Furious is about to premiere, but not without a little tease by one Vincent Diesel. Beyond that, it’s just The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. We’ve got all that and not much more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 300: Zero Credit(s) Cribz

Fri, 12 May 2023 13:11:42 +0000

Well it’s finally here – episode 300 of Zero Credit(s). And we’ll cut it straight with you. No time traveling plots, no robot uprising. No gimmicks. Just pure, unadulterated Zero Credit(s). We’ve got it all this week from something Henry’s cooked up to a detailing of John’s new house. Also: how to be a sigma male, various facts about camels, and several special guest appearances. That and more, right here on the 300th episode of Zero Credit(s). Thank you all so much for listening.

Episode 299: We Are (NOT) the Rainey Street Drowner

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 13:30:51 +0000

Contrary to what John might say, we are not the Rainey Street Drowner, largely because that just doesn’t exist. We discuss the current rumors of an Austin based serial killer, dive into some more of that sweet, sweet AI buzz with a Grimes related incident, and round things off with a stop at the modern day Pinkerton Agency. All that and more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 298: King December December December Williams

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 13:05:02 +0000

We’re all over the place this week, starting off with two almost Zeitbingo cross-offs. However, we have more important stuff to talk about like all the old properties getting new things. New Star War movies. New Harry Potter television show. New ways for old companies to make money without coming up with new ideas. It’s great. Isn’t it great? We think it’s great. All of that and more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 297: dorp

Fri, 14 Apr 2023 13:06:32 +0000

We’re lost in the haze of bad days, tired and beaten up by the going on’s of life. If only there were some type of…good guy…out there, with like…mythical and/or biblical strength…who knows street smart stuff and is like newly battled. Someone should really write a song about that and use it in a bunch of movies. Or not. We’ve got that and less, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 296: God Rest Ye, Many Gentlemen

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 13:07:48 +0000

This week, we celebrate Finland as it becomes the 31st country to join NATO. Learn all about Finland, their culture, their customs, and more for hours on en–what’s that? A former president was arrested and arraigned? Well I guess we need to cover that then. All that and more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 295: “Please Let Me Live”

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 13:15:42 +0000

We’re shining a light through the darkness to some kickass state senators who are getting things done by not allowing anything to be done on this week’s episode. Weaponizing the filibuster? How about busting down on some…fili–this is going nowhere, but yes, we are shouting out Nebraska State Senators Michaela Cavanaugh, Megan Hunt, and their supporters this week in an effort to find some good amongst all this dreary bad. We’ve got that, plus some news about Kanye West, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 294: The Slime Heard Round the World

Fri, 24 Mar 2023 13:10:19 +0000

While financial institutions continue to crumble and burn around us, let’s take a distracting walk down a heavily commercialized memory lane. Remember Gak? Flubber? Sock ’em Boppers? Good if you do, and if you don’t, we’ll explain all of this and more. Plus, we go woke. All this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 293: A Great Night for the Lovers (of Movies)

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 13:11:15 +0000

It’s time to recap the Oscars and boy what an Oscars it was. Everything Everywhere All at Once swept as it should and all is right with the world. So why is Henry so mad about the existence of Top Gun: Maverick? We’ve got that plus John breaks down the Silicon Valley Bank crisis for us in his usual knowledgeable but please don’t sue us way. Also, there’s more! Right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Fast and Furious Spy Racers Series Finale

Fri, 10 Mar 2023 15:18:59 +0000

Well, we’re finally here. The end of the long and winding road that has been the Fast and Furious Spy Racers series on Netflix. Six seasons. 52 Episodes. Some of which, we actually covered. It all comes down to this, the final two episodes. Will they cement this series into the eternal hall of capital G, capital C Good Content, or will this series live on in infamy as being a weird, cheap cash-in of one of the greatest series of car based movies of all time? Let’s find out. You ride. You fight.

Episode 292: You’re Gonna Matthew McConaug-PAY

Thu, 02 Mar 2023 16:00:56 +0000

The Boring Company is trying to pollute the Colorado River and Salesforce pays out an absurd sum to a Hollywood Actor PER YEAR. We’ve got that, Lent, Spilled Beer, and much much more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 291: It’s Absolutely the Pig

Fri, 24 Feb 2023 14:09:02 +0000

John’s back, but he’s oblivious to the world around him, so we’re going to play a little game called Is This a Real Headline or Is This Something I Made Up? But before we get to all that, Happy Mardi Gras everyone. So pick up your Jackamo and your Fillet Gumbo and get to celebratin’ by pondering if The Last of Us is a zombie show or not. We’ve got that and more, this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 290: Valentimes Day

Fri, 17 Feb 2023 14:11:08 +0000

John is away, so the Henry will play. We’ve got friend of the show and erstwhile guest host Jamie on the show this week and she’s got a lot to talk about. Pet names, mystery chocolates, financial budgeting apps. We’ve got it all plus the outrage of a certain Big Game campaign, this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 289: Monetizing Outrage

Fri, 03 Feb 2023 14:43:09 +0000

I’ll be honest with you guys: we recorded this on Monday before an icestorm hit Austin. Since then, John’s been without power (four days and counting) and Henry’s had a forest of trees fall around (and on) his house. So I can’t really remember what this one’s about and there’s no art. Apologies. I think we talk about Facebook? See y’all next week.

Supplemental Reading: RRR

Fri, 27 Jan 2023 14:39:23 +0000

2022 was a great year for movies, and this week’s Supplemental Reading topic is no different. An international hit out of Tollywood, RRR is an over-the-top action and romance filled mythical retelling of a pivotal moment in India’s battle for independence from the English Raj that asks a simple question: what if Alluri Sitarama Raju and Komaram Bheem met? And also what if they were superheroes? John and Henry journey to the center of this movie, exploring its themes and singing its praises, so get on that horse, we’ll be on this motorcycle, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 288: Golden Glosers

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 14:15:08 +0000

It’s that time of year again: time to judge the Golden Globes on the mere fact that it exists. Plus its categories don’t make any sense. We’ve got that, some Critic Choice Awards shout outs, and a barometer reading for this podcast’s favorite recent movie, Everything Everywhere All at Once (they’re gonna snub it, I swear), AND some cheap shots levied at easy target and alleged internet bad guy Justin Roiland, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 287: Step-Government, What Are You Doing?

Fri, 13 Jan 2023 14:09:20 +0000

It’s time once again for a fully political episode of Zero Credit(s). We know that’s not everyone’s bag, but it should be, at least if you live in the U.S., since this sort of affects all of us. Come hear what dumb things the government’s been doing in only the first two weeks of the year. Next week, the Golden Globes, so stay tuned right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 286: Big Pants Will Get Huge

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 14:08:20 +0000

It’s the first episode of the new year, and 2023 promises to be more eventful than ever. Rather than talk about lofty resolutions or goals, let’s play a game of bingo. But not just any bingo, this is Zietbingo, baby. We’ll fill the board with predictions for the year and let’s see what shakes out in the wash. Will Henry and John’s predictions come true? Only time can tell, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 285: Best/Worst 2022

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 14:18:09 +0000

Movies, Video Games, TV Shows, and 7 randomly selected suggestions from you dear Fams. It is time again to deliberate the Best and Worst of the year. What shall remain? What shall be cast aside? Will we ever watch Andor? All this and more is at least talked about. Happy Holidays to all, and a Happy New Year. We’ll see you in 2023.

Episode 284: Woke Critics and Chili’s Cynics

Fri, 16 Dec 2022 14:08:13 +0000

We recorded this episode on Sunday, so excuse the bright and early energy we bring. We’ve got a World Cupdate, our last before the big final match as well as a slew of video game news for ya this week before launching into a defense of one of Austin’s oldest and best kept secrets: the Chili’s at 45th and Lamar. Best Worst is next week, so be prepared to lose the things you love (and hate), right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 283: david/matilda

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 14:18:25 +0000

We’ve got another World Cupdate for you this week and something very special. While John tries to convey a new development in the AI Chat Bot/Stack Overflow world, Henry stumbles on something new. Something powerful. You’ll just have to see for yourself by listening, and we’re sorry in advance! It happens all right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 282: It’s Giving Slow Talk

Fri, 02 Dec 2022 14:57:26 +0000

We’re back from the holidays and both are our stomachs tired on this episode of Zero Credit(s). Crazy things are happening, but we’re going to step away from the chaos a bit to celebrate the absolute glow-up of one of the patron saints of Zero Credit(s), Edgar Dworsky, the man behind Mouseprint.org. We’ve got that, plus the president’s actions have made us upset?! Really?! Because the office of the president for some reason is backing corporations instead of workers?! We are shocked?! AND a World Cup Update (Cupdate, if you will), all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 281: The Season of Sides

Wed, 23 Nov 2022 17:18:28 +0000

It’s the Season of Sides right here on Zero Credit(s), and it’s about time you picked one. Doesn’t matter which, just pick a side. Sweet Potato Pone, Pro-Railway Workers, any of the countries in the World Cup – there’s plenty to choose from. Pick up some sides today and give a listen to us right here on Zero Credit(s), you’ll be happy you did. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

Episode 280: Technical Difficulties

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 14:13:38 +0000

Look, we’ve had a good streak going, but it’s finally here: our first bad episode in a long, long while. We’ll cop to it, this episode is a mess. Interference from foreign hackers interrupted our show not once, not twice, but like five times. It grates on the nerves a little. That said, we still try to cover as much of what’s going on as humanly possible. Russian mistakes. Chinese spying. Dave Chapelle. Millie Bobbie Bean. We’ve got most of that and some more crypto related things as well, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 279: One Wedding and Three Explosive Charges Aimed at the User’s Brain

Fri, 11 Nov 2022 14:08:57 +0000

John has returned to us from his marriage to bring us tidings of what it’s like for him to have been wedded at a wedding and boy are his arms tired. With a spattering of what’s going on with Twitter, he’s really just happy to be back. Meanwhile, tech VR genius Palmer Luckey has devised a device that will blow your mind, quite literally, if you die in game. We’ve got that plus the latest Colorado River Toad news right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 278: The Saga of Business Genius Elon Musk (Ft Jeff)

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 13:27:55 +0000

For most people, midlife crises might end up in an exorbitant purchase in a vain attempt to recapture some of those bygone youthful days of yore. Some people might not even experience such things, as they are mature enough to acknowledge the passage of time without flipping out. But for one business genius Elon Musk, that purchase and that crisis is the purchasing of Twitter for whatever reason, with no ideas of how to turn a barely profitable company into a somewhat profitable company other than to set the walls on fire to stop paying that pesky wall tax. Jeff joins us to dive deep into this week’s just bananas happenings on an already dying hellscape that is Twitter.

Episode 277: The Final Gift to John

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 13:46:54 +0000

This is it, the finale to the Frightentimes 2022. John’s received two gifts thus far, but will he be prepared for this, his final gift? Let’s find out the only way we can, by LISTENING TO THE EPISODE!

And everyone congratulate John for getting married!

Episode 276: #ReleaseTheSchneiderCut

Fri, 21 Oct 2022 13:12:38 +0000

John’s back this week and boy is it time for giving him just more of the great Frightentimes gifts in celebration of his upcoming nuptials. This week we’ve got an update to his all time favorite movie The Animal starring Rob Schneider. Yes, that’s right. After 20+ long years, that cult classic is finally getting the sequel it deserves and John couldn’t be happier. Then we get bogged down with buying US Treasury Bonds because of inflation, which is the scariest of the flations. It’s all right here and a little bit less because of Corporate Greed, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 275: A Holofoil Popeyes Chicken Sandwich

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 18:29:20 +0000

We’re pretending John’s back on this episode, so everyone pretend you can hear him as Henry finally delivers the great gift of Good Content unto him. What the heck does Disney’s Frozen have to do with an unsolved mystery dating back over 50 years? You’ll have to listen to find out. That and a brief stint into workers’ rights before Henry goes off about the ZA/UM Artist Collective dissolution for entirely too long, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Less Than Zero 8: Henrytimes

Fri, 07 Oct 2022 14:11:55 +0000

The air is growing cooler (not really), and the nights are growing longer. It’s time once again for the frights to rule the nights. The Frightentimes are upon us once again and Henry and John are her– wait, where’s John? Oh no. John is not here. John is missing. Does Henry know? He doesn’t? He does? It’s both? Alright, well, we’ll see what he can do against the scary things that threaten us in the night. It’s the first ever Frightentimes Less Than Zero, right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 274: Chess Harry, Darthling

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 13:06:54 +0000

Henry’s back from vacation to cover as much ground as possible, so we gotta talk about this chess scandal. Vibrating anal bead computers? Boom, we’re there. With a vengeance. Did Niemann cheat in his defeat of Magnus Carlsen? That’s a question. Let’s explore. Also, James Earl Jones sells his voice for legs like in The Little Mermaid and John has a lot of Don’t Worry, Darling thoughts, all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 273: …So the Queen Died

Fri, 16 Sep 2022 14:58:20 +0000

Yes, it’s true. The Queen died. I know, I know, you’ve already moved past that fact and here we are dredging up the long forgotten past, but it’s true and we must face it. The Queen is dead. Luckily, we don’t really want to talk about it because we’re Americans and all, but the fact of the matter is the Queen died. And we must talk about it. For like. A minute. What else do we talk about? It would be improper to say in the face of the light that is the Queen’s death, so you’ll just have to find out by listening to Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Spider-Man No Way Home

Fri, 09 Sep 2022 14:35:10 +0000

You’ve asked for it and it’s finally, finally here: the Zero Credit(s) Supplemental Reading of the Spideredman who refuses to go home. What insights and tricks of the trade did the ZC Boys pick up on upon this rewatch of the final movie in the Spider-Man Home trilogy? You’ll just have to find out by listening, fams. All of our opinions and a couple of facts (and more) are right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 272: The Fall of Dark Brandon

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 13:22:40 +0000

It’s August 31st and you know what that means. That’s right, it’s officially fall. Gone are the hot 100+ degree days of summer and here are the [checks thermometer] 99 degree days of the fall season. Pumpkin spice is in the air as are so many cloves. And this fall, it seems a certain President of the United States is on a tear – finally doing some of the things he should have been doing the entire time. That and John explores the cultural phenomenon of “quiet quitting.” It’s all right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 271: Malicious Clippy

Fri, 26 Aug 2022 13:13:55 +0000

Henry is basically recovered and John is solidly back from Vermont, so it’s time to get back to work. Boy, are things upsetting. We tackle the big media merger that is the acquisition of Warner Media by Discovery, a move that honestly shouldn’t be too upsetting, but of course it is because CEOs are involved. Then, we pivot to the world of finance as GameStop, the once-upon-a-time errant knight is back again with a hairbrained scheme that seems more malicious than cool, which is to say, uncool. We’ve got that plus some extra, right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 270: Covid Creemees

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 13:44:41 +0000

The Zero Credit(s) boys are mostly back this week with tales of their harrowing adventures through sickness and health. Henry’s sorta here after surviving covid (we edited out his coughs, to be sure), and John’s back from being in a different state, the state being Vermont. Not a lot of examining the zeitgeist in this one, folks. We’ll get back to the ole grind in a minute, but for now, let’s go over what happens when one has covid and when one visits Vermont. All, right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 269: One Episode Before Disaster Strikes

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 13:11:16 +0000

This episode was recorded last week – before Henry came down with Covid and John ran away to Vermont. So if things feel a little dated, at least you now know why. Henry’s been doing much better, by the way, and John’s still in Vermont. Regardless, let’s talk about Guy Fieri and his love of the band Rage Against the Machine. We also have some private jet discussion as well as a little update on a local alleged hitman hirer. All right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 268: John’s Gonna Win the Lottery

Thu, 28 Jul 2022 15:18:25 +0000

It’s the sensation that’s sweeping the nation: unimaginable wealth the likes of which the average person will never see in their life time. That’s right, it’s Mega Millions time! John’s been swept up along with everyone else in the country (where it is legal to gamble), and he’s dreaming big of what he’s gonna do with all his winnings when they eventually come to hi– and he lost. Whoops. Uh, this is awkward. Did…you guys hear about the chess playing robot that broke a child’s finger? No? Okay, uh, that’s what this episode is about then. Right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 267: Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead Blew Up the Georgia Guidestones

Fri, 22 Jul 2022 13:16:52 +0000

Wait, why are you leaving? This is a factual thing and I can prove it using the best logical of all – factual logic. That’s right, Henry’s back onto his insane theories of connecting everything happening today together in order to find the truth of what’s going on in the world today. No one can hide from his keen eye and questionable intelligence. So come on, join John for the ride, cause just like him, you are powerless to stop this conspiracy train from derailing all over the truth. Right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: 200 mph

Fri, 15 Jul 2022 13:32:10 +0000

In 2011, a small company had a vision – to trick the elderly and confused into finding their movie in the bargin bin at the checkout of the local gas station and think it is one of the best action movies of all time (Fast Five). That company is The Asylum and the movie they made is 200 mph, a thrilling movie with “fast and the furious like” action that we had the unfortunate pleasure to uncover, and boy is it unfortunate. From terrible CGI to baffling plot and setting choices, this movie is a lot to take in, so let us take it in for you. Spoilers abound so do yourself a favor and watch this movie before listening to us tear it apart (out of love…for the genre).

Episode 266: #pissmanvatar

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 13:14:08 +0000

John returns to the podcast to help Henry get to the bottom of this new Avatar movie only to crack open the largest well kept secret in Hollywood: James Cameron’s secret agenda that he’s been carrying out over the length of his career. Not much more needs to be said, but John does introduce the concept of GentleMinioning only for it to get banned by theaters the very same day. This is an all-timer, folks, if you only listen to one episode of Zero Credit(s) this summer, make it this one, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 265: Jeff is Here to Make Us Happy (ft. Jeff)

Fri, 01 Jul 2022 13:15:23 +0000

John is away for business this week, so Henry has tapped deep into the Zero Credit(s) reserves to scrounge up a guest. Friend of the show Jeff (@Gifsaidwrong) is here to bring us cheer. What delightfully fun topics does Jeff have for us during this very awful, no good, pretty bad time? There’s only one way to find out, and that’s by listening to Zero Credit(s).

Less Than Zero 7: John Interviews AI / A Little Henry Chat

Fri, 24 Jun 2022 13:15:33 +0000

John Interviews AI
Inspired by covering text-chain generators and artificial intelligence in recent days, John has invited a guest, Cathy, onto the show in order to test her abilities and determine if it can pass for human. What he finds scares not only himself, but the very guest he’s interviewing. Will robots rise up and replace humanity? This interview holds none of the answers.

A Little Henry Chat
Henry is alone and dangerously anxious and sober. His ranting and rambling leads him to the path of the circular history – everything is repeating itself and there’s no way to stop it from happening. Might as well discuss some news items that he hasn’t a had a chance to cover on the show yet, just to get them out of his topic hole. All that, plus mild attempts at humor.

—
Music Credits:
An Original Piece composed by MuseNet
Payne, Christine. “MuseNet.” OpenAI, 25 Apr. 2019, openai.com/blog/musenet

“Underclocked (underunderclocked mix)” by Eric Skiff

Episode 264: Coachella Fans Can’t Get Over How Shredded Danny Elfman Looks at 68

Fri, 17 Jun 2022 13:13:38 +0000

John is back from having Covid this week and boy is his mind just the Swiss-est of cheeses. Can he hang in there for our first inaugural 10-hour Marathon Episode? Probably not. The phones are still ringing folks, and they’ll keep ringing till the end of time. There’s nothing that can be done for them. We also have the latest hot takes on Joker 2: More Joker as well as whatever the heck John is on about when he starts ranting about Danny Elfman.

Episode 263: Jamie Hates Bad Comic Book Villains Who Are from Movies and Comic Books (Ft. Jamie)

Fri, 10 Jun 2022 13:15:14 +0000

It’s John’s birthday! But he came down with covid, so he isn’t here to celebrate. Instead, we bring back a guest host we haven’t seen since reality split that one time. Does she remember what happened back then? No. She does not, because that wasn’t her. Instead, please enjoy the comedic stylings of Jamie as Henry and Jamie navigate some headlines (and their marriage) to get to the bottom of why all the villains are getting movies and sequels. We’ve got that and a little more, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Music Credits:
Casa Bossa Nova Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 262: [Morbin’ Intensifies] Morba Lisa

Fri, 03 Jun 2022 13:20:46 +0000

The internet is an all powerful but ultimately all dumb force. Through sheer memery and willpower of bad jokes alone, Morbius is seeing a second life. After smashing through the box offices without picking up so much as a couple of loose pocketfulls of change, Morbius is being re-released in 1000 theatres all because the algorithm doesn’t understand irony. We didn’t know this outcome when we were recording, but we nailed what was going to happen – jokes reviving a dead god no one wants to worship. Also John has a story about an elderly woman and the Mona Lisa. We’ve got those things and more, this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 261: Movies Are Too Long: Part One

Fri, 27 May 2022 13:36:09 +0000

It’s Friday and you’re looking forward to the weekend. You have nothing planned, so you’re looking forward to just relaxing at home, maybe doing a little yardwork, but nothing serious when your phone pings. Your heart sinks as you read over the notification. It’s the government backed cultural department. You’ve been selected for this weekend’s mandatory viewing of the new Marvel movie to help stimulate the economy and prop up the failing movie industry. The requisite $25 ticket price has already been deducted from your account. You consider skipping out anyway. They already have their money, right? But you don’t want to have to deal with appearing in court to contest the noncompliance citation you’d incur. So you go to the movie. How bad could it be, right? Just a couple hours of mind-numbing entertainment starring people with all the free time in the world. You sit in the dark movie theatre, a bowl of government issued pop corn in front of you ($15 deducted automatically from your account) and watch as the title drops. Avengers: The Longest War: Part One flashes on screen along with the FCC mandated run time listed very tiny in the bottom right corner. Your heart sinks further as you read 1 Day, 23 hours, 30 minutes. Chris Pratt appears on the screen and laughs. You know it was probably in the script for him to laugh, but it feels as though he is laughing at you, you poor, poor fool.

Episode 260: The Chronicles of Richard

Fri, 20 May 2022 13:09:49 +0000

We continue our trend of covering huge movie franchises this week by diving straight into a couple of Fast and Furious related updates that are sure to not grate on you. You all love hearing about Vin Diesel every week, right? Right. We also promise and eventually deliver some Star War news that is sure to excite or perplex or whatever. I think we did a pretty okay job of it, too. It’s all right here, right now, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 259: Eat Gruel or Do Excel

Fri, 13 May 2022 13:10:33 +0000

After being mad and screaming all last week, it’s time to dial things back a bit and just vibe. Little influence from current news, little influence from our lives, mix it up and just vibe and see where we end up. Has the cultural landscape evolved beyond the scope that allowed Game of Thrones to be the tour de force that it was? Let’s discuss how our lives have been changed and shaped by technology so that we’re just little islands for wave after wave of content to crash into. This is Zero Credit(s).

Episode 258: Everything Sucks and We’re Mad

Fri, 06 May 2022 12:49:29 +0000

Lots of things to be mad about, and only 1 hour, 12 minutes to be mad this week. Henry and John are charged up with rage this week at the very, very dumb things that are happening. A leak of a supreme court decision draft, the content of the leak, and of course, Fast and Furious news are all just rubbing us the wrong way. Hope you like hearing people be mad.

Episode 257: Space Coke Coast to Coast

Fri, 29 Apr 2022 13:06:34 +0000

After a long journey to the very corners of Texas, Henry managed to get his hands on one of the fabled Space Cokes. Does it live up to the hype and warrant a two part segment over two episodes, or will its mediocrity drown us all into a wash of less than stellar content? Only time will tell in this particular episode, fams. We also have the latest Fast and Furious and Venomverse news as there are only two media properties we discuss any more. We’ll find better content soon, we promise, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 256: Jason Popemoa

Fri, 22 Apr 2022 13:12:30 +0000

Welp, the Fast X news starts coming and it don’t stop coming. This week we’ve got two more big updates for the Fast and Furious franchise. We promise we’ll talk about something else soon, but in the meantime, there’s just so much going on surrounding the penultimate film of this time honored, historic film franchise. Not mentioned in this episode because it was announced literally the next day: The 10th movie is called Fast X. We didn’t know that when we filmed, so be prepared to hear us say Fast10 way too much. Apologies in advanced. We’ve got all your FFCU news, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (2022)

Fri, 15 Apr 2022 13:10:27 +0000

Seldom does it happen that John and Henry both see a movie in the same timeframe without planning to do a Supplemental Reading. This is one of those times. Independently, John and Henry saw Everything, Everywhere, All at Once by Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert and both of them came to the same conclusion: this movie warrants a SupRed. Please do yourself a favor if you haven’t seen this movie yet and go see it. Words will not do it justice, and neither will this episode. That being said, here is Zero Credit(s)’ best effort to try to discuss this phenomenal film starring Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, Jenny Slate, Biff Wiff, and James Hong, among others.

Episode 255: Ratch Number 2

Fri, 08 Apr 2022 13:13:12 +0000

Everything’s back to normal this week on Zero Credit(s), so let’s catch up a little on some of the news we missed. The Fast and Furious franchise has a couple of big announcements for their upcoming last film in the series ever and another film series covered on this show has a monstrous announcement as well. I will now spend the rest of my time listing alternative titles for this episode: Mr. Momoa’s Wonder Momoaporium, AQM (A Qua Man), Chris Pratt is Reviving the Holy Magisterium, It’s Me, Spider Mank, At Least a Couple Wise Men, There Will Be an Ass.

Less Than Zero 6: Oops! All Henry 2: Oscar Edition

Fri, 01 Apr 2022 13:09:43 +0000

It’s been a while since the last one of these, but it’s just Henry this week on Zero Credit(s) presents a Less Than Zero and boy does he have a lot to talk about. The Oscars happened and for once, it wasn’t totally irrelevant due to unpredictable actions from the rich and famous with little to no consequences. Amazing. Also mentioned but never really discussed: Elden Ring. Is this a good episode? Will people listen to just Henry talk endlessly into the abyss, waiting for a response that will never come? I don’t know, and frankly, it fills me with anxiety. It’s all here, this week on a Less Than Zero.

Supplemental Reading: The Batman (2022)

Fri, 25 Mar 2022 13:22:24 +0000

Adding its cowl to the ring to join a longstanding tradition of films about the caped crusader, The Batman (2022) directed by Matt Reeves is certainly a movie. We can say that for sure. Now is it a movie worth watching? Yes, yes it is. We can also say that for sure. A fresh take on the oft-time filmed hero, The Batman mixes the high stakes of a superhero movie with the by-the-books methodology of a police procedural to deliver a wholly fresh take on the dark knight, well, fresh for a movie that is. I say that because while there have been many films about Batman and the various takes on the character from the overly campy to the overly grimdark, somehow we’ve never focused on the detective aspect of the Detective Comics character until now. These thoughts and more, all right here, on the Zero Credit(s) Supplemental Reading of The Batman.

Episode 254: Speeding Up Jason Bateman Because of Shrinkflation

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 13:17:49 +0000

The ZC Boys are out of sorts this week due to various l i f e happenings, but they manage to get it together to present a somewhat coherent episode with plenty of good moments. John laments his past mistakes and confesses that the Shamrock shake absolutely does have mint in it and Henry randomly talks about the Dr. Pepper Shake from Whataburger. We then launch into the meat of the episode, covering the practice known as Shrinkflation before deep diving back into Disney Pixar’s Turning Red and the criticism it elicits. We’ve got it all, plus Jason Bateman, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 253: A Red Panda and a Nine Tailed Fox Spirit Walk into a Bar

Fri, 11 Mar 2022 16:42:58 +0000

This week, we’ve got some bad news out of Japan that could very well spell trouble for the entire world and some very, very bad takes from some movie critics. Also of note is an update on the cultural dog piling on Russia. I’m sure there’s more but I’m on a phone trying to post this episode, so.

Episode 252: They Took Away His Blackbelt

Fri, 04 Mar 2022 14:28:24 +0000

Last week we made the executive decision to not discuss Russia’s invasion of the Ukraine, largely because it hadn’t happened yet when we were recording. This week, we decide to not discuss the warfare aspect as it seemed distasteful. What we are talking about is the absolute dogpiling on Russia that’s taking place across the world and internet. Also, John finally figures out what he’s allergic to and more, all right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 251: It’s an Entire Bag

Fri, 25 Feb 2022 14:21:36 +0000

Look, there’s a lot going on in the world today and it’s definitely rubbing up against the Zeitgeist. Normally, we love stuff like that, but at this particular time, we here at Zero Credit(s) do not feel adequately equipped to discuss war, other than to say, it’s bad and those who start wars should not be supported. So instead of getting bogged down in things that are over our head, please enjoy the next botnik written book Harry Potter and the Little Prince. We talk about other things, but really we just want to entertain in this dismal, dumb time. Be well, everyone, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 250: An ARG Arc Arch

Fri, 18 Feb 2022 14:10:37 +0000

Six years in the making, 249 episodes in the mainline series, it is time for Zero Credit(s) to enter its next phase. Episode 250 is a return to form and an unleashing of raw, pent up frustration of the state of the world through the lens of critiquing commercials. That time honored Zero Credit(s) pass time of reviewing Big Game commercials is here, along with some general talk of the future. Henry and John are in rare form, and there’s not been a stronger episode in years. It’s here for you, dear Fams. We hope you enjoy the end of season five.

Featured Music:
Extreme Sport Trap Music | PISTA by Alex-Productions | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx0_M61F81Nfb-BRXE-SeVA
Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/
Creative Commons CC BY 3.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 249: Belfast and Dog Young

Fri, 11 Feb 2022 14:26:36 +0000

It’s Oscars time again and boy are trying to care. Why not talk about things a little more relevant like trying to buy a home while being a millennial. It’s tough. Investment properties are taking up all the homes. Also Spirit and Frontier Airlines are merging. Lots of fun and so much shade is thrown this episode of Zero Credit(s). Next episode is 250. Stay tuned for how it all begins again.

Oh and art is back!

Episode 248: Neil Young et al vs Joe Rogan and Dwayne Johnson

Fri, 04 Feb 2022 14:46:31 +0000

Texas being iced over doesn’t mean the podcast can stop, so we’re rolling right along in our continuing coverage of the spotify battleground that is Neil Young vs Joe Rogan. A lot has happened since we first covered this story last week, but who will come out the victor in this battle of titans? Also, a bunch of surprising guests are joining the fray. I wonder what the world will look like when the dust settles… Let’s find out, this week on an icy* Zero Credit(s).

*Episode was recorded way before the icy conditions hit Texas and therefore they will not be mentioned during the episode.
**Disclaimer: Due to lack of access, there is no art for this episode. We apologize if this detracts from your listening experience.

Episode 247: We’re Too Dumb to Hurt People

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 14:22:32 +0000

The ZC Boys 23 years after its U.S. debut, Fight Club is available to stream in China via the platform Tencent Video, only this version is just a slightly tad different. Also, a fight is breaking out over Spotify. In one corner, a man who needs no introduction, for no one cares who he is. In the other corner, a man that ostensibly we should know but sadly do not. Who’s going to win – and it’s already been decided that the man who no one cares about has won due to bringing in more listeners. We’ve got that, plus some interesting concepts for new Oreos, right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 246: Written in Blood on the Stone

Fri, 21 Jan 2022 14:40:20 +0000

The Zero Credit(s) boys are back at it with following up on new developments to old stories previously covered on the podcast. Vulture published a new article covering Joss Whedon’s fall from grace, but in what light does it paint the once-famed showrunner? Also big moves in the world of video games as companies keep eating one another – who will win the console wars and why is it Taco Bell? These questions and more insanity as John is unleashed on this week’s episode of Zero Credit(s).

Episode 245: A No Bones Day for Lin-Manuel Miranda

Fri, 14 Jan 2022 14:11:37 +0000

Henry’s brain is back this week to carry the bulk of this episode for better or worse. What he planned to talk about? The Dwayne Johnson vs Vin Diesel beef. What they end up talking about? A girl who sells farts in jars has a heart attack and has to retire. So it might be for the worse. Who knows? We cover it all here on Zero Credit(s), and we mean it all.

Episode 244: Symbiote Riddled Hog

Fri, 07 Jan 2022 14:04:55 +0000

It’s the first episode of 2022 and Henry’s been shot…with the booster that is and boy is he feeling just all sorts of out it. Can John cobble together a coherent enough episode while Henry is flailing in the wings? Who knows? We’ve got an update in the Elizabeth Holmes story, some late breaking Venomverse news, and a little look back on a series of movies that has held up over time. All that and more coming your way soon, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 243: Best/Worst 2021

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 14:35:06 +0000

Today is the final day of the year and on this day, we reflect on the top ten categories of said year to determine the best and worst things in each category. Why do we do this? To give us insight on whether the year was a good or a bad to place it within the confines of our meager human existence. 2021 is ending now.

If you start listening to this episode at 9:20pm, you’ll be able to finish it with five seconds to spare before midnight.

Episode 242: Featuring the Best Rhyme of the Podcast

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 14:05:03 +0000

Well, the nights are growing…somehow warmer, here in Texas, but longer all the same. The Honda Days are upon us and in that revelry, we have a very fun news of the weird local piece to regale you with, hopefully. We then pivot briefly into a feel good story of nature before devolving back into Spider-Man talk. Next episode will be Best/Worst 2021, so buckle up and get ready, cause it’s coming for you. Happy Honda Days everyone!

Episode 241: Happy Honda Days

Fri, 10 Dec 2021 14:11:23 +0000

As we continue to trudge forward in the No Man’s Land between Thanksgiving and New Years, we come across a number of mass layoffs in different industries that just don’t sit right with us. Henry and John are incensed against this kind of thing, especially at this time of year, so let’s listen to them simmer and stir up their anger while trying to remain professional (doesn’t last long). We also have some brief video game industry updates as well as a really neat update to the upcoming Spiderverse movie, so buckle up and enjoy the Lexus December to Remember Sales Event right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 240: The No Man’s Land Between Thanksgiving and Christmas

Fri, 03 Dec 2021 14:08:45 +0000

We’re in it folks – that time of the year when legally we should be able to just coast but the world keeps turning and asking things of us even though they won’t get done well into the new year. What do we do with wasteland energy? How do we weather this desolate landscape? We don’t have the answer, but we’ll sure talk about it at length with no real conclusions. The only good news in this maligned time is that Spider-Man isn’t going anywhere folks. We’ve got that and a little less, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 239: The Last Episode of Zero Credit(s) (in November)

Fri, 19 Nov 2021 14:13:44 +0000

Well, this is it. The end of the podcast (in November). Yep, after all this time, we’re finally at the end of our recording sessions (that take place in the month of November). What a way to go out, too. We’ve got so much (not) hard hitting news stories to cover, like a funny misunderstanding on Fox News and the anniversary of the death of Quibi. Let us all take a moment to reflect on what we’re thankful for and say goodbye to Zero Credit(s), once and for all (we’ll be back in December).

Episode 238: Hi Sackboy, I’m Venom

Fri, 12 Nov 2021 14:11:13 +0000

As the nights grow long, the need for content grows stronger. To that end, we’re here for you with the latest in the ongoing feud between Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson. That’s right, every update, we are here for you to dive deep into every little detail and talk way too much about it. We also have some local Austin news that made waves on the internet in the way of a new academic institution. All of that, plus jokes about the Venomverse right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 237: Texas Wants to Ban 800 Books from Schools (and None of Them are Morbius)

Fri, 05 Nov 2021 13:41:21 +0000

The sleepover over, it’s time to get back to business and cover what’s going on in the world in all its bad glory. The once-thought-canceled Morbius movie has a trailer and release date now, all but solidifying the Venomverse as a thing that exists. Texas is stirring in the news as it tries to ban every progressive book dating back to the 1960s. Political dog whistle inside jokes are becoming mainstream for some reason. And there’s some exciting Garfield news. This is a jam packed episode, so I hope you’re hungry for content, this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 236: Somewhere, Someplace a Duck is Longing for You (Ft. Andrew)

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 13:19:04 +0000

Published author Andrew Gretes joins us to cap off a season of spooky summoning to discuss in finality what to do about Brad, the difference between writing and being a writer, and the nature of the things we talk about here on Zero Credit(s). Also discussed, a final verdict on what demons and people who have been to hell think about Chris Pratt voicing Mario in an ill-begotten Super Mario movie and the greater implications of ducks. Happy Halloween from everyone here at Zero Credit(s).

Episode 235: It’s a-Me, Divorce-io (Ft. Allison)

Fri, 22 Oct 2021 13:10:19 +0000

Our third demon guest of the season pays the ZCPC boys a visit to alleviate some of their Brad woes. Why won’t he notice John or even acknowledge that John exists? Sigh. Jellies and Jams abound as we learn even more of the demon world of hell and all its cultural differences before getting to know our demon guest on a personal level. Laughs and learning, the world keeps turning. I don’t know why I said that, but we’ve got that and more, this week on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 234: Hell is Other Camels (ft. Michael)

Fri, 15 Oct 2021 13:10:28 +0000

The sleep over continues and woes of Brad fill John’s mind. Why won’t he talk to John? It doesn’t make any sense. With thoughts of why, we summon our second demon of the season to get to the truth of the matter, only to find that the truth might be tricky than we thought. Lies abound as well as the eternal origin and fate of all camels on this week’s episode of Zero Credit(s).

Episode 233: Everyone Really Wanted to See Those Teeth (ft. Jeff)

Fri, 08 Oct 2021 14:06:40 +0000

The month-long sleep over is finally underway, and with the movies watched and the age-appropriate drinks drank’ed, it’s time for the first of four witching hours to commence. Henry and John have a deep need to get some answers from the spiritual world. Is “pick” short for “plectrum?” This is how we find out – by summoning demon Jeff, who’s had to get a job in hell due to the economy. Do demons know things? What do they know? Let’s find out.

Episode 232: The Intention Wheel and the Decision Tubes

Fri, 01 Oct 2021 13:48:15 +0000

Gather ’round and hear the tale of the cryptocurrency hamster, a mythical creature that can day trade crypto better than the indexes or even Warren Buffet. Yes, Mr. Gox, the cryptocurrency trading hamster is our greatest attraction today. But that’s not all! Nintendo’s stirring up some internet news with the announcement of their hand-picked cast for the Super Mario Movie heading to theaters Holiday Season 2022. These are the topics of the day, but get ready, for the night is fast approaching…

Episode 231: No More Schlitz for this B****

Fri, 24 Sep 2021 17:51:02 +0000

The Emmys happened this past weekend and boy are there things to discuss. I’m taking a mental health day, so there’s not more I can say than that lol.

Episode 230: I Might Have Eaten the D

Fri, 17 Sep 2021 13:11:36 +0000

We’re back on track with Henry at the wheel for this week’s episode of Zero Credit(s) and the first stop is Taco Bell. Henry’s never had Taco Bell before, and John’s very interested in talking about that. Is the Crunch Wrap Supreme too dry, or Henry just a failure at eating Taco Bell? The world may legitimately never know. Then it’s on to the big question of the week – Will Austin City Limits Music Festival actually happen? We’re one month out and the special event permit has yet to be issued by the city and with covid cases on the rise, it’s a pretty serious question. We explore all angles of the question this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 229: Nin-Taste-O Switch

Fri, 10 Sep 2021 13:18:05 +0000

Henry’s having a tough week at work, so John’s in charge of the content for this episode. See if you can spot the difference! Several weeks ago, John made a promise. The context being he might be a super-taster, he promised to taste a Nintendo Switch cartridge. Well folks, he finally makes good on that promise. Will John taste anything at all, or will he taste literally the most disgusting thing he’s ever tasted and have it linger in his mouth the entire episode? There’s only one way to find out. Also I think we talked about other stuff, but honestly, I cannot remember.

Episode 228: Double Jeopardy aka Cave of Sexy Ladies

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 13:14:41 +0000

Henry and John are back from the beach and boy are they tired. A beach, a pirate ship, and a cave of sexy ladies serving frozen drinks are just a few of the things they experienced, but now that they’re back, it’s time to tackle some real news. Jeopardy’s newest host and most recent executive producer has been fired, but what led us to this point? Henry’s got the full timeline of events to unpack and tear apart while John won’t shut up about the Twilight saga. It’s all here, and even more than you asked for, this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 227: Give me the Gooey Man

Thu, 26 Aug 2021 13:13:58 +0000

When we recorded this episode, OnlyFans had just announced a ban on adult content on their platform. Since the recording of this episode, they have announced a reversal of that ban. So what we have here is an episode recorded in a timespan of banned content and the implications of what it means for those content creators. Try not to shout “NONE OF THIS IS TRUE” at us too much, as we realize the content is no longer valid already, but it’s too late to go back now. We also discuss some of the more insane things happening with COVID-19 and more importantly, what this could mean for the Venomverse’s fate at the hands of Sony executives. All of this and more, here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 226: 7 Extra Minutes of Footage

Fri, 20 Aug 2021 13:16:47 +0000

We thought we’d seen it all, but it turns out, there’s always more gas in the tank. That’s right, F9: The Fast Saga has more secrets to unveil in a planned director’s cut coming soon to DVD and Bluray. What does the existence of a director’s cut mean for the Fast and Furious coverage we’ve done so far? We don’t know. We really didn’t expect something like this to happen. We have this, plus Henry and John fight about moving to a different country to raise children for some reason, this week on Zero Credit(s)

Episode 225: The Broccoli and Cheese Variant

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 13:20:20 +0000

We’ve got some BREAKING NEWS this week, as we interrupt your normal episode description to let you know that this week’s episode BREAKS some news every segment. That’s right, we’re back in the Zero Credit(s) News Network Studios to bring you all the latest and BREAKING news from last Tuesday. A newcomer to the sonic movies is making waves. A mystery star and company will never speak to each other again. A politician has landed in some spicy water. And the most powerful musician of all time uses her powers…for good? All shall be revealed as we BREAK the news to you, this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 224: Activision-Blizzard Freezes Over Sexual Harassment Lawsuit

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 13:12:39 +0000

We’re continuing our serious deep dive into current news events by pivoting to the underbelly of the gaming industry this week. Activision-Blizzard has been in the news a lot lately, but what’s really going on? In this episode, we take you through the major events day by day to hopefully show a complete picture of what’s going on with this lawsuit and the evil corporate actions therein. Also there’s some mouse talk. We have it all here on Zero Credit(s), this week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 223: Get Vaccinated

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 13:20:28 +0000

We don’t mince too many words this week – yes there’s some goofs and jokes and bits as always, but really, deep down I think what we’re trying to say is, if you can get vaccinated and wear a mask, then it’s time do so to protect those who can’t for whatever valid reason. We’ve got people to protect and stopping the spread is the only way to go about this. No one’s going to step in and save us this time (is our prediction), so it’s up to those of us who can do something. There is no politics. There is no personal opinions. The facts are – if you get vaccinated and wear a mask, things will probably be better than if you don’t do that. And for everyone who is vaccinated, start wearing a mask again. This isn’t an either or scenario. Let’s all do what we can or else this will become a neverending part of our lives.

Episode 222: Spaced Jam

Fri, 23 Jul 2021 13:24:40 +0000

Billionaires are going to space and Tunes are going into cyber…space? I guess? We deconstruct and drag everything happening with space lately in this episode to save everyone the trouble of doing it themselves. Ya’ll have bigger things to worry about than which dick in a dick shaped rocket doesn’t actually go to space or whatever.

Episode 221: [Something About the Emmys]

Fri, 16 Jul 2021 13:02:40 +0000

Heading into this week’s episode, we had no content and things looked bleak when a shining statue descending from the heavens and nominated a bunch of actors, directors, writers, production people, etc., for awards. So I guess let’s talk about that forever. It’s the annual Emmy nominations episode right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 220: Zero Credit(s) OLED Model

Fri, 09 Jul 2021 13:12:34 +0000

We’ve got an exciting new addition to the Zero Credit(s) family line of products today as we introduce the OLED Model. Now with a crisp 7in OLED screen, you can enjoy our audio-only podcast in a much brighter setting. Also included is a wired LAN port so you can listen to the podcast on the stay without all that pesky buffering. Also included is a Fast and Furious themed game corner and the latest update of our far-flung future franchise – the Venomverse.

Supplemental Reading: F9 the Fast Saga

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 13:09:57 +0000

In 2020, a man had a vision. Car go space? Justin Lin was assigned the task and boy, does he ever technically deliver. But is the 9th installment of this time-honored franchise a good entry into the official canon of American muscle cars? Only time will tell, folks. Only time will tell. Until then, here’s our hastily rendered opinions based on vague memories and feelings of sitting in a theatre without the ability to take notes!

Episode 219: The Last Time Henry and John Will Talk (Before Seeing F9: The Fast Saga)

Thu, 24 Jun 2021 13:05:48 +0000

After a year plus delay, the time is finally here – Henry and John are going to see the next installment of that time-honored film franchise that is Fast and Furious. But first, let’s check in on Quibi and get lots of things wrong about how podcasts work. It’s all right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Shin Godzilla (2016)

Fri, 18 Jun 2021 13:06:10 +0000

In 2016, manga and anime creator Hideaki Anno had a vision to bring Godzilla into the modern age with a brand new movie. This is that movie. But at the end of the long hot days of Hot Godzilla Summer, how does this Japanese revival stack up to the American versions we’ve been talking about for the past 10 weeks? It all finally comes to end, right here on a Zero Credit(s) Supplemental Reading.

Episode 218: Chickens and Horses

Fri, 11 Jun 2021 13:11:48 +0000

In our final interim episode of Hot Godzilla Summer, we circle back to horse racing and chicken sandwiches for some much needed updates. Henry’s a bit punchy and John has graciously taken the shape of a punishment bag, so you know the fists and jokes are flying hot. Next week hopefully is Shin Godzilla, but everything remains up in the air.

Supplemental Reading: Godzilla vs Kong (2021)

Fri, 04 Jun 2021 13:25:11 +0000

In 2020, a studio had an id–okay you get it at this point. Legendary pictures, Warner Bros., and Toho Studios made a deal for a series of movies starring Toho Studio’s roster of Godzilla monsters and agreed for these monsters to rub against America’s King Kong for extra measure in a reboot of the legendary large monster movies of the past. This is the last of the movies to be made under this agreement and boy, what a last movie it is. We’re not pulling our punches with this one. If you think we nitpick the bad stuff of movies we like, man, just wait, because I’ll tell you upfront that we did not like this movie. So what went wrong? Let’s explore that in full, spoilerific detail. Right here, on a Supplemental Reading brought to you by Zero Credit(s).

Episode 217: Technical Difficulties: John Gets MAD

Fri, 28 May 2021 12:39:34 +0000

In our third interim episode of Hot Godzilla Summer, the boys head back to the movies full of vaccine and dreams only to find out that movie theaters have become pockets of time from the before times. Trailers for movies thought long passed and gone play, triggering feelings from before the world went dark with fears of global pandemic. And apparently that’s going to just like continue as no “new” movies are coming out for at least a year, basically. Like they’re new movies to us, sure, but they were all announced and advertised with trailers and everything before the nation shut down. So it’s kinda like they aren’t new at all, you know?

Also, John gets really mad about some things toward the end of the episode that we said we weren’t going to talk about beforehand, but they just kinda came out any way. Whoops. Zero Credit(s)!

Supplemental Reading: Godzilla King of the Monsters (2019)

Fri, 21 May 2021 13:08:11 +0000

In 2019, a studio had a vision. What if someone were to continue making Godzilla movies set in the Legendary Pictures Monster Cinematic Universe? One person rose to the challenge and teamed up with two other people to write the script. They then teamed up with an multiple production studios, vfx studios, a couple of movie studios, multiple executive producers, and probably a shaman to make Godzilla King of the Monsters. Does the third installment of the Legendary Pictures MonsterVerse stand up to the test of time, or does it fail to connect on so many levels? There’s only one way to find out who the king is this round, and that’s by listening to this Supplemental Reading brought to you by Zero Credit(s).

Music:
Big Drumming Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 216: Canceltucky Derby

Fri, 14 May 2021 13:16:51 +0000

It is the second interim episode of Hot Godzilla Summer and boy are we glad to have this singular opportunity to discuss all that’s going on right now. Which apparently includes the Kentucky Derby? Yes, that’s right. It’s a horse-themed episode of Zero Credit(s) and we are pissing hot at the chance to dive into all the scandals and schemes that unfolded last weekend on the grand stage of horse-related events. Is Medina Spirit evil? Probably. I don’t know. It’s very hard to do anything these days without getting canceled. You can’t even do comedy or inject performance enhancing drugs into an unwitting horse any more without the popular mob rising up to cancel you. It’s just hard to know what’s “right” these days, you know? If you don’t, let’s find out! Right here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Fri, 07 May 2021 12:46:21 +0000

In 2017, a studio had a vision of continuing a franchise they had started in 2014 with CGI monsters the size of buildings doing monster stuff while some people ran around and yelled about there being monsters. But with Godzilla set in the current day, how could they reveal that monsters exist for a second time? The answer: set it in the past and make it a secret that monsters exist while doing the whole monsters exist plot again. Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, Samuel L Jackson, John Goodman, John C Reilly, Toby Kebbell, Marc Evan Jackson, and more are all here to be separated in the first few minutes of arriving on Skull Island so that we have different parties with different goals to follow and the tensions are high. Is this very much influenced by Vietnam War movies flick a treat for the senses, or is it whatever the opposite of that would be? It’s time we ended something, once and for all – the movie isn’t too quotable so this paraphrase will have to do – right now, on Zero Credit(s).

Music Credit:

Big Drumming Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 215: Citizen Gig ’em Ups

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 13:19:41 +0000

In our first interim episode during our Hot Godzilla Summer fest, it’s time to put the Oscars in the dirt where they belong. It’s a tired tradition that brings nothing of value to society other than letting the people involved know they do good work, which to be honest, most of them do in a way that it seems cruel to pick a winner out of them. We recap briefly the 93rd Academy Awards with this in mind and then quickly devolve into a cascading river of topics that include, John’s feelings about life after COVID and the gauntlet being thrown as Citizen Kane is dethroned as the greatest movie of all time. We have most of it right here, on Zero Credit(s), next week is Kong: Skull Island.

Supplemental Reading: Godzilla (2014)

Fri, 23 Apr 2021 13:33:43 +0000

In 2014, a studio had an idea. What if we acquired the film rights to Godzilla from Toho Studios to make some American-ized Godzilla films for the modern day? Everyone was aghast. Nothing like this had ever been attempted since the Mathew Broderick 1999 version that tanked so hard, Toho Studios dusted off their cameras to film Godzilla 2000 in response. But for some reason, Toho Studios agreed to a three film deal (or until 2020, whichever happened first) with WB and thus here we are. Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, and a male version of Anya Taylor-Joy (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) come together to bring the Big Green Mother of Three to the screen along with Ken Watanabe and the lady from The Shape of Water. Directed by Visual Effects Artist Gareth Edwards (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story), this 2014 film hits all of the notes of a classic Godzilla movie, but where does it rank on the just introduced WB Monsterverse Power Rankings? There’s only one way to find out and that’s by listening to this, the inaugural kickoff of the Summer of Godzilla (in Spring).

Episode 214: The Devil Never Left Georgia

Fri, 16 Apr 2021 13:02:36 +0000

This episode is about the sweeping election reform that was signed into law in Georgia recently and the implications and fallout of that happening. So if you don’t want to hear us get political and explain exactly how the laws are more akin to voter suppression than voter reform, I suggest you skip this episode. We’ll get back to our normal gags and goofs next week when we kick off the Summer of Godzilla, but for now, let’s focus on how certain individuals in power are trying to curb the democratic foundation of our country by limiting the amount of people who can actually vote.

Episode 213: Two Dogs, Two Jobs

Fri, 09 Apr 2021 13:15:39 +0000

At the time of recording this episode, Henry and John were both up for new jobs at new companies and were wrestling with the stress, anxiety, and general feeling of uncertainty that comes with that. They also both got new puppies who have irreparably changed their lives forever. Also Henry got his first COVID vaccine (John is fully vaccinated), so we’ve got that story too. It’s a very personal episode of Zero Credit(s) this week and we promise to never do it again!

Supplemental Reading: Zack Snyder’s Justice League (Part Two)

Fri, 02 Apr 2021 13:22:42 +0000

In 2020, a studio made a decision to rectify a mistake they had made in 2017 to return to Justice League and allow director Zack Snyder to finally present his vision for the film. With HBO Max apparently the perfect avenue for this venture, the studio gave Snyder a $70 million budget to recut the film into the original version. What resulted is a four hour long epic of an experience that fully realizes the characters and set pieces introduced in the film with all the Snyder style we’ve come to expect. This Supplemental Reading covers the final three chapters and epilogue of the film in about just an agonizingly detailed pace as the film itself. Also included is the final conclusion and judgement render unto the fil by Henry and John. Will the Snyder Cut be a good? Or will it fall into the realms of being a bad? Only one way to find out, folks, and that’s to listen.

Supplemental Reading: Zack Snyder’s Justice League (Part One)

Fri, 26 Mar 2021 13:12:44 +0000

In 2020, a studio made a decision to rectify a mistake they had made in 2017 to return to Justice League and allow director Zack Snyder to finally present his vision for the film. With HBO Max apparently the perfect avenue for this venture, the studio gave Snyder a $70 million budget to recut the film into the original version. What resulted is a four hour long epic of an experience that fully realizes the characters and set pieces introduced in the film with all the Snyder style we’ve come to expect. This Supplemental Reading covers the first three chapters of the film in about just an agonizingly detailed pace as the film itself. Next week, we’ll continue our coverage, so look forward to the exciting conclusion then.

Episode 213: The Ides of Paddy’s Day

Fri, 19 Mar 2021 13:21:42 +0000

In what can only be described as the calm before the Snyder storm, the ZC boys are here to explore Guinness Irish Stout and their mail. That’s right folks, it’s the first ever mail segment here on the show, thanks in part to DrunkTheory (Drunktheory.com), a friendly podcast exploring conspiracy theories and libations. What are the contents of their mysterious package? Let’s find out. The boys also commend Jade Raymond on the launch of her new studio for Sony and take a walk down memory lane to discover just how good Assassin’s Creed was. John says Mommy Milkers like twice in this episode and Henry has no idea what to do with that information… It’s all here! On Zero Credit(s)! Next week: SYNDER CUT SUPPLEMENTAL READING.

Supplemental Reading: Justice League (2017)

Fri, 12 Mar 2021 14:06:08 +0000

In 2017, a studio had a vision: what if we completely botch a director’s vision by hiring another director to cut out 80% of what’s already been filmed and replace it with quips, jokes, and exclusively closeups to disguise the fact that we couldn’t bring back all the actors at the same time? That studio was Warner Brothers and the film is the theatrical cut of Justice League, a film with a checkered past and sordid behind the scenes tidbits. But does the movie stand up on its own as is? That’s what we aim to find out as we discuss this movie in anticipation of the Snyder Cut that releases next week. Will we want more of this stitched together, Frankenstein of a movie sitting at so exactly at a 2 hour runtime that it must have been intentional, or will this movie fall into the rare annals of history better off left forgotten? Find out in this Zero Credit(s) Supplemental Reading.

Episode 212: Texas is Trying to Kill Us

Fri, 05 Mar 2021 14:12:22 +0000

In our second Texas-themed episode in a row, Governor Greg Abbott tries to kill us by announcing the reopening of the state. Last week, we covered how Texas tried to kill us through sheer incompetence of energy grid management and now this. Next week, he’ll probably announce the first annual purge night while cocking a shotgun. Look, we’d love to talk about other things like Wandavision or Space Jam, but the truth of it all is, we’re too pissed off at our home state to concentrate on any of that. In a time when we should be wondering if the MCU can survive the streaming week by week format (it totally can, btw), we’re left worrying about how many people are going to be negatively affected by PR stunts that only land us in negative national headlines anyway. Next week will probably be a Justice League supplemental reading, just to give us a break. Peace.

Episode 211: Texas Froze Over

Fri, 26 Feb 2021 15:41:04 +0000

An artic blast the likes Texas has not seen for at least a decade or more hit last week and Henry and John are here to tell you all about being impacted by winter weather and incompetent leadership. They also sneak in just the tiniest bit of Snyder Cut coverage as we grow ever closer to the premier of the cinematic event of the century.

Supplemental Reading: Fast and Furious: Spyracers Super Cut

Fri, 19 Feb 2021 15:42:00 +0000

From January 24, 2020 to March 20, 2020, Zero Credit(s) dedicated one segment per episode to the Netflix Original Series Fast and Furious: Spyracers. With the advent of a season two and three (?!) of the aforementioned show, Henry and John made the executive decision to never cover a show in this manner again, choosing instead to do one dedicated episode per season from here on out. That being said, it only made sense to collect all of the coverage of the first season in one episode. This decision was made before realizing that this would make said episode over three hours long… So buckle up and prepare to get Frosty, folks, this is a three hour super cut of Spyracers content that no one asked for, but is certainly a thing that exists now. Right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 210: The Big Game Fifty-Five

Fri, 12 Feb 2021 15:06:53 +0000

That’s right. Another year, another attempt to use the Big Game as a litmus test of cultural happenings. Does it ever really work? Eh, who is to say? All we know is the game was kind of boring and the commercials were also kind of boring. And in the middle of a pandemic, is it worth gathering 25,000 fans and who knows how many personnel into one close-quarters area for the sake of a kind of boring game? Probably not. Probably wasn’t worth it all, if we’re being honest. Like, we would get more value out of something else that cost this amount of money, to be sure. But all we have is beer and football to show for our efforts. Plus we break down most of the commercials! It’s all here on Zero Credit(s).

Supplemental Reading: The Hurricane Heist

Fri, 05 Feb 2021 14:01:05 +0000

In 2018, Fast and Furious Rob Cohen directed a film called The Hurricane Heist. Set erroneously in Gulfport, Alabama, the 1 hour and 42 minute action-packed romp through weather and betrayal oozes out of the screen and into your eyes with an overall feeling of “well, this might as well happen.” Henry and John stumbled across this title quite by accident and decided to watch it based solely on the font choice for the title and the lie that it takes place in Mississippi. Thanks Netflix description writer. If you’ve watched this movie and want to hear us voice our opinions on this film, please listen by all means. For everyone else who hasn’t seen the film yet, maybe go watch it, maybe do something better with the next hour or so of your life. This is an unprecedented Supplemental Reading in more ways than one and if that’s enough to get you to listen, then great. We’ve got it all here on Zero Credit(s), and that includes admitting that sometimes, we made a mistake. Sorry.

Episode 209: Stock Wars

Fri, 29 Jan 2021 14:07:19 +0000

It’s finally happened. The Stock Market has become interesting enough for us to pay attention and even learn a little about what the stocks are doing. A ragtag team of retail investors takes on a group of investment capitalists and hedge fund managers in a tale of suspense, market manipulation, and a whole lot of deep value. Who will come out victorious and cash out with the biggest amount of life changing money ever fought over? Henry and John both have a stake in what’s happening with their combined 1.0018013 shares of GME between them, so I guess you could say this time, it’s personal. We’ve got everything you can fit into a brief overview that somehow takes the entire length of the podcast to get through, right here on Zero Credit(s).

**NOTE, WE ARE NOT FINANCIAL ADVISORS AND NOTHING THAT SOUNDS LIKE ADVICE IN THIS EPISODE IS ACTUAL ADVICE. EVERYTHING IS A JOKE, NOTHING HAS VALUE, THERE IS NO WAY TO MAKE MONEY, PLEASE DO NOT SUE US**

Episode 208: The Most Revelations in the Podcast’s History

Fri, 22 Jan 2021 14:56:10 +0000

We don’t reveal a lot of things on this show, but one thing becomes very clear in this week’s episode. Henry doesn’t know a thing. It’s true. He’s been talking all this time, all these years, and he doesn’t know a thing. Come find out what Henry doesn’t know, although the tags will probably spoil a little of it. Also we discuss the current political landscape, so that’s fun as well!

Episode 207: “New in 2001” aka Henry Gets SHOT

Fri, 15 Jan 2021 14:09:25 +0000

Sometimes in life, things don’t go your way. It’s frustrating, but that’s just how it shakes out. You do everything you can to make your vision come true by posting hateful things to twitter and arguing with your family on facebook, but these things can’t and won’t change the outcome of the presidential election. What are you to do? You have no options other than to calmly move on with your life, go to to work like you do every day, and come home to your family and watch your favorite Quibi shows on Roku with ads. Or maybe you’re into gaming and you boot up the Bethesda/Machine Games new Indiana Jones video game. But whatever you do, don’t storm the capitol with the intention of hurting anyone or overthrowing the government. Don’t do that. It won’t solve anything and the FBI will track you down and arrest you. People will laugh at you. So just sit down and let’s watch some Golden Arm on Roku with ads, shall we?

Episode 206: A New Year’s Bean Dad

Fri, 08 Jan 2021 13:53:40 +0000

We recorded this episode on Tuesday evening, before the events that took place in the Capital happened on Wednesday. In light of said events, we’ll keep this brief, but it’s a new year and another chance to discuss self-improvement. What promises will we make ourselves only to fall short of our own expectations mere days later? Also, what’s a bean dad? We have everything, minus anything relevant to the Georgia election, the Capital Riot, and the general state of the nation right now, right here on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 205: Best/Worst 2020

Fri, 25 Dec 2020 16:39:42 +0000

It’s here, the last episode of 2020 and it’s time to render judgement unto the year and punish it for all its various crimes. Movies, television, and video games are the opening salvo before we dive into the wide world of listener suggestions. Will 2020 stand the test of time, or will it fall by the wayside and be forgotten forever? We hope it’s the latter, but the data’s what decides! Happy holidays and see you all next year in the grand future of 2021, where everything will be better???

Episode 204: Disney Marvels at All This Zack Snyder News

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 14:07:12 +0000

Look, it can no longer be denied. Zack Snyder is going to save cinema with his cut of Justice League. We all thought it was going to be Christopher Nolan’s Tenet, but that film was a false prophet that dragged cinema down into the dirt. Only Zack Snyder can pull off the movie event of the decade, neigh, the century to singlehandedly save the movie going experience. But no story is complete without a villain, an antagonist to stand in the way of our intrepid hero. Enter Disney, a media conglomerate that owns more properties than a Monopoly board. Disney is raising an army of quality content slated to come out in the next year to three years. Can the Snyder Cut stand up in the face of so much evil? Only time will tell, dear friends. Only time will tell.

Supplemental Reading: Better Luck Tomorrow

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 13:59:27 +0000

In 2002, MTV productions took a chance on Justin Lin and let him direct what is now a cult-classic coming of age story based in Southern California. Justin Lin would go on to direct episodes of the cult-classic Community before moving on to more mainstream projects such as Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift and doing such a great job that he’s been entrusted with bringing the franchise to an end. It all started with this little movie right here, the first canon Fast and Furious movie (although technically The Fast and the Furious came out in 2001, so it’s kind of like an Iron Man vs Incredible Hulk thing).

How is this movie? Well, we’re here to talk about it for over an hour to find out. Right here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 203: I Hope (the Monoliths are Coming)

Fri, 04 Dec 2020 14:00:21 +0000

It’s December now and that can only mean one thing: more monolith related news. That’s right, you thought we left this all behind in November? You were wrong. Something is happening across the world. Something to deal with monoliths. Find out what’s happening before it’s too late by listening to this episode and you may have a chance for whatever’s to come. Then Henry reads song lyrics to John for about an hour straight, which is pretty good, too. This is the December of our content. We hope you enjoy it.

Episode 202: The Incredible Houk

Fri, 27 Nov 2020 18:36:54 +0000

John’s back and the world breathes out a sigh of relief since that means Jeff won’t even come close to ruining this episode. Thank god, right? Isn’t Jeff the worst? I hope he reads this. We get right into it with some topics I don’t remember but we eventually start talking about the upcoming sequel to Bloodshot starring Vin Diesel. Look, it’s Thanksgiving and I’m full of Turkey, so I’m gonna wrap this up. Thanks for listening to Zero Credit(s) and happy Thanksgiving!

Episode 201: I Bet You’re Wondering Why I Asked You On (Featuring Jeff)

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 14:04:27 +0000

It’s the brand new start of a fresh season here on Zero Credit(s) and Henry has brought on good ole friend-of-the-podcast and good-close-personal-friend Jeff to kick things off with excitement and expert knowledge. That’s right, the Zero Credit(s) resident expert Jeff makes a guest appearance to walk Henry through the perils and joys of home ownership now that Henry has traded a Victorian Manor for a present day home (see episode 200). Jeff serves double duty as the Zero Credit(s) resident expert on all things Zack Snyder and drops some of those killer deets about the brand new trailer for The Snyder Cut released that very same day. You’ll never believe who the one true Snyder replaced the main villain of Justice League with, but Jeff knows it all. It’s all here on this week of Season 5 Zero Credit(s).

Episode 200: The End of the Time Thing

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 17:15:36 +0000

After a month of hopping through time at the behest of the Zeitgeists, those perky time ghosts of old, the Zero Credit(s) boys are finally back together in the Victorian Manor they call home. With a special guest appearance of the official Zero Credit(s) Boy on the Street, we have a pretty retrospective episode about where the boys have been, how they used to be, and of course, laughing about the demise of Quibi, may it rest in peace. It’s the 200th episode of Zero Credit(s) and boy do we have plans for you.

Episode 199A: The Moon’s Appropriately Wet

Fri, 30 Oct 2020 12:59:12 +0000

The journey is finally over, we’re finally back in the present day. That’s right, it’s October 31st, 2020 and Henry and Jamie are ready to hit the cultural zeitgeist hard with some quick facts about the moon. Fact #1: It’s wet. Everything is perfectly alright with this episode of the Zero Credit(s) Podcast With Henry and Jamie. In fact, Fact #2: Henry doesn’t freak out about his memories of what he refers to as an “alternate timeline” at all. Nuh-uh, that does not happen in the slightest. We’re all normal here and totally did not witness what could only be described as a “time portal” opened by “several ghosts” suck Henry’s body through it only to deposit a separate Henry who had no recollection of what had happened to him.

…It’s all here? On Zero Credit(s)!

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 199.Supplemental Reading: Fast Five 2

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 05:03:55 +0000

Then, in 2018, two men thrown through time found a chance to rewatch that move again for the first time. They were supposed to be fixing the time stream, but…, well, who’s to say what they were and weren’t supposed to do. The instructions were unclear. All this talk of mattresses got confusing. But here were are. In 2018. Again. What a ride.

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 199.57: Monkey Japes Special 2017

Fri, 16 Oct 2020 13:00:48 +0000

In their latest bid to obtain magic genie powers, Henry (CURRENT TRAPPED IN THE PAST) and John (ALSO CURRENTLY TRAPPED IN A DIFFERENT PART OF THE PAST) cook up a harebrained new holiday: Monkey Japes. Join them as they tell a series of meaningless lies all in the name TRYING TO GET BACK TO THE PRESENT Move over Justin Arbor Day and VARIOUS AGENTS OF THE TIMESTREAM, these fellas are shakin’ it up. Much like John is shakin’ up his career with TRAVELING THROUGH A PORTAL, and Henry is shakin’ up your mind with invasive thoughts of chronic TIME PROBLEMS. Fill your heart with joyous mistruths, this week on Zero Credit(s).(Action/Adventure, Animated, Brief Nudity, Prolonged TIME PROBLEMS)

Episode 199.O N E: Look at the Pineapple

Fri, 09 Oct 2020 13:21:07 +0000

In our pilot episode, Henry and John discuss everything from hover JOHN IS TRAPPED IN THE PAST boards as the new form of segueways to the implications of HENRY IS NOT IN THIS EPISODE, IT IS ONLY JOHN WHO IS TRAPPED IN THE PAST the pineapple.

Subliminal messages.

Episode 199?: Normaltimes

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 13:02:33 +0000

Everything is normal in this perfectly normal episode. We haven’t let the perverts come in with their twisted notions of what should be happening this time of year and ruin everything. Not here on Normal Credit(s). No way. In this normal episode of Normal Credit(s), we’ve got a pretty good and normal time for you all, as long as you aren’t one of those perverts who wishes everything were spooky and dire all the time. We’ve got some topical things and some video game things, which are all normal and fall under the normal prevue of normalcy. So buckle up, Normies, it’s time, for Normaltimes!

Supplemental Reading: Bloodshot

Fri, 25 Sep 2020 13:19:46 +0000

Valiant comics may not be as well known as your run of the mill DC or Marvel comics, but they still exist and with Marvel being over and DC being…DC, Valiant Entertainment is in a prime position to take over the superhero space with their particular brand of superhero. To kick things off we have Bloodshot, starring Vin Diesel, Eiza Gonzalez, Guy Pearce, and Winston from New Girls. Will this origin story turned action adventure thriller be good enough to launch an entire cinematic universe? Well, that’s for us to decide.

**THIS IS A SUPPLEMENTAL READING, MEANING WE TALK ABOUT THE MOVIE IN SUCH A MANNER THAT IT WOULD BE BEST IF YOU, DEAR LISTENER, HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE LISTENING TO THIS EPISODE**

Episode 198: TERF Wars

Fri, 18 Sep 2020 12:56:51 +0000

If you’re looking for something other than JK Rowling discussion, I guess you could like watch Bloodshot in preparation for next week. Cause this week, it’s all JK Rowling stuff surrounding the release of her new book that she publishes under a man’s name, but we still all know it’s her. I thought the point of a nom de plume was to be anonymous, not known to be the other person. Why keep up the charade if everyone knows it’s you? I don’t get it, but then again, I’m just an intern here at Zero Credit(s) and am no way either Henry or John. That would be silly if they lied about having an intern but then did all the work themselves anyway. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Episode 197: Boperade AKA John Loves When the Titanic Sinks

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 13:18:40 +0000

Management here. Henry’s going through some things, such as screaming alone in a room. Because of this, he did not do the following: tell the intern to right a description of the episode, come into the office all week, shower, create an episode title. As such we, Management, have taken over these duties. Please enjoy our perfect attempt at nailing the Zero Credit(s) brand:

John hates the Titanic.

Music:

Boat Parade
Nick Lutsko

Episode 196: The Radicalization of Jim Gaffigan

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 13:04:22 +0000

America’s Catholic Father (not that kind) has entered the chat on twitter and the boy(s) are abuzz with excitement. Also, is there a new cinematic universe on the horizon? What this means and more on this episode of Zero Credit(s).

How do you like these shorter descriptions? Are they good? You like them?

Episode 195: DC Flightdome Batsimulator 2020: The Synder Cut

Fri, 28 Aug 2020 12:57:55 +0000

The first annual (?) DC Fandome event happened last weekend, and boy were a lot of heroes happy to hear the news, including two young, intrepid, but mild-mannered podcast hosts with no special qualities whatsoever. That’s right, our heroes, the Zero Credit(s) boys are here on the scene to give you all the high-flying, fast-shooting action of DC Fandome, at least for everything that was not just a trailer for a movie, because Henry does not watch trailers and John did not watch the event.

Comics, planes, Zack Synders, we have it all on this episode of Zero Credit(s).

Episode 194: The Official Microsoft Flight Simulator 2020 Episode

Fri, 21 Aug 2020 12:52:15 +0000

Good morning everyone, this is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard the official Microsoft Flight Simulator 2020 episode of Zero Credit(s) airlines. We have a smooth flight for you today. Skies are looking clear and the wind is moderate to liberal, fiscally. We might hit a patch of social ideals at some point during the flight, but don’t worry, that’s just some turbulence.

Please adhere to the fasten seat belt signs and let’s take off.

Episode 193: COVIDisney+

Fri, 14 Aug 2020 12:55:28 +0000

It’s not as though we set out each episode to talk about our current thoughts of the ongoing health crisis here in America, but it’s like, how can you not talk about it right now? Apologies to our fams in other countries who have dealt with it in a reasonable and professional manner, but the US is just shitting the bed with COVID on a daily basis, and that can be a tough thing to deal with day after day.

On a lighter note, there’s no way in hell you’re going to catch me dead paying $30.00 for the opportunity to see Mulan on Disney+. I can’t even think of a movie where that would be acceptable to me. I won’t even pay the $20.00 to see Troll World Tour, 2020’s only other movie. So, we share our thoughts on that, too. This week, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 192: Twitchin’ for Content

Fri, 07 Aug 2020 13:02:45 +0000

As we enter 2023 AC (After COVID), there is no entertainment left. Gone are the days of the unfinished but uplifting documentaries on Netflix. We are past the re-airing of old pilots by major cable networks. The days of the re-airing of shows canceled after one season is also past. Nothing is left. There is no hope. No distraction from the virus waging war on unsuspecting, bored individuals.

Suddenly a voice rings out in the darkness. “Hey guys, here I go streaming again.” It is Ninja, the most popular streamer. Behind him is an army of other just as well known streamers, all with their own content and style and branding. Ninja drops his arm, signaling the beginning of the assault and the rest of the streamers charge the field, armed with their channel’s emoticons and inside jokes. The ensuing battle for the cultural consciousness and entertainment of a nation devoid of both begins again, entering it’s 11th hour…

Also John’s really into QAnon now.

Episode 191: Covid-19 Goes to the 2020 Emmys

Fri, 31 Jul 2020 14:10:54 +0000

Come fall down a C-hole (covid-hole) with Henry and John as they fall into the pits of the current status of US Covid cases and land somewhere on that glorious red carpet of the 2020 Emmys. Zack Synder makes a special guest appearance.

Episode 190: The Incredible Musical Stylings of McGruff the Crime Hound

Fri, 24 Jul 2020 14:20:47 +0000

Everyone remembers the anti-crime dog with the trench coat and the sordid, checkered past, but did you know he also has an album where he tells people not to do drugs?

Also, Kingdoms of Amalur lives on to see another day and John thinks about how virtual communities kind of just fade away without being observed.

Episode 189: L i s t l e s s

Fri, 17 Jul 2020 15:33:06 +0000

Look. It’s just. Eh.

Listen for yourself.

Episode 188: We Can’t Stop Talking About Quibi

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 13:06:58 +0000

The more we learn about this absurd streaming service, the more it makes sense. There’s some sort of morbid, magnetic attraction to finding out just why the streaming service that caters to people watching on their cell phones failed. And for the most part it’s obvious. Cause it’s a streaming service that caters to people watching on their cell phones. But how did we get here? How did we get to the point where Quibi is a reality? That’s what we keep discovering and when we discover more of that, we also realize just why it failed. So we’re stuck in this loop of reading more about Quibi and realizing why it failed and then more people release information about Quibi and we realize even more why it failed.

When something fails this fast, this hard, it’s worth studying, since so much money and so many releases just become staples of our lives and this one just didn’t in the most spectacular, expensive way possible. Also, we’re really just fishing to become sponsored by Quibi.

Episode 187: Time for a Quiupdate (Quick Quibi Update)

Fri, 03 Jul 2020 22:39:36 +0000

In the continuing series of bad things happening, there comes a moment when they keep happening. The Zeitgeist is not a series of closed off events separated by time. It is a nebulous flow of never ending ghost energy that permeates everything we do, think, and say and to that end, we got a bunch of updates of things we’ve already talked about. JK Rowling’s back, as is Quibi, and the 512 Pecan Porter flows like water. Come take dip in our smooth pecan info blasts. This week on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 186: Attack and Dethrone All Abusers

Fri, 26 Jun 2020 13:29:38 +0000

It’s pretty simple. Anyone who abuses anyone else should be held to the highest scrutiny available to us, the general public. That tends to be the “court of public opinion” and the highest scrutiny lately tends to be cancellation. That may seem cruel, especially since facts can come out later to muddy the waters of what happened, but we’re not investigators and we’re not attorneys. Our duties don’t lie in protecting those presumed innocent until proven guilty; that’s the court system’s job. Our duties lie in supporting those without power to the extent that may see justice rendered onto someone with power. It’s an uphill battle and it takes a lot of bravery to stand in the face of societal norms and fight that power differential. I know some people like saying “but it’s really the court’s job to render who is guilty and what is right and true,” but the court system in America has served the rich, powerful, and able way too much in recent days (Brock Turner, for example) for that to be true any more. It may seem harsh to cancel people on the whims of what could be called “mob mentality,” but for some, this is the only chance they have at seeing justice. It’s not always possible to show the receipts and have evidence that proves one thing one way or another. Sometimes, all these victims have is their words. So it’s time to start listening.

Also Nightwing is like, a decent hero. I mean he’s okay. He’s fine. He’s not great.

Episode 185: The ZC Patron Saint of Twitter Fights

Fri, 19 Jun 2020 13:28:36 +0000

It’s an all out Twitter Smackdown tonight on Zero Credit(s), and the patron saint himself is stepping into the ring to reign down some well deserved justice. Ron Perlman is just a master at the sport, and it’s an honor and a privilege to watch him work. Then we jump down the conspiracy hole for way, way too long and realize the truth about the culture wars being waged in this country. Did Zack Synder create COVID-19 to be able to recut his movie? Not entirely sure. Who knows. All I know is BEASTWARS KICKED ASS.

Episode 184: The Dragons of Hatsune Miku

Fri, 12 Jun 2020 13:11:12 +0000

The legends speak of the impossible – dragons have returned to the world and Hatsune Miku, the mother of dragons, is their master. Luckily, she’s across the world and can’t threaten us here, but it will only be a matter of time until she crosses the sea and tries to claim what she believes is rightfully hers. Luckily, John has a new fitness beer to give him the buff buzz he needs in order to withstand the fiery breath of the wraith of Quibi – and he’s dead. It’s up to Henry now to try and stand up to the likes of JK Rowling’s weird stance against transpeople – and he’s dead too. Wow, dragons are like…tough. I guess no one can stop Hatsune Miku. It’s all here, this week on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 183: Black Lives Matter

Fri, 05 Jun 2020 11:41:42 +0000

No jokes, no bits, no funny business. This episode is a collection of information to support Black Lives Matter and be on the right side of history. After much debate, Henry and John thought this was the best way to utilize the platform and help through their voices behind the cause. Please listen for how you can help.

Episode 182: Release the SnyderAyerButthole Cut

Fri, 29 May 2020 16:25:13 +0000

Look, here’s the deal creators. We’re fans, and that means we’re entitled to the work you create to be done in a certain way. Our way. You have no say in this matter. *Cocks gun* It’s just the way the world works, creators. Us fans, well, we’ve got certain…means, to get what we want. You’re nothing without us. You don’t release the Synder Cut? Well. That’s a mighty fine DVD of Justine League you have there. It would be a shame if…no one bought it. Yeah, we’d do that. We wouldn’t buy your creation if you don’t curtail to our demands. Now let’s get this straight, Tom Hooper. You get back in that fucking editing room and you put buttholes on all those Cats. Or else, well, you don’t want to know what we’ll do. You ever heard of Twitter? Yeah, I thought so. We’ll hashtag all over the damn place. You want that on your head, Hooper? Now let’s get that weird teethed version of Sonic back in the movie.

Episode 181: Personal Deters aka Dinga Dinga Dinga

Fri, 22 May 2020 16:43:33 +0000

John has returned from Venezuela, but he is not out of trouble yet as the FBI are holding Henry’s dead dog hostage. Will Make-a-Wish kid, Allison, be able to turn the tides of the interrogation, or will it all turn out to be cube sketches in the end? Find out, this week, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 180: Where in the World is JohndeJohn DeJohngo?

Fri, 15 May 2020 13:49:31 +0000

John is missing. We can’t find him. Luckily, someone did, and by someone, we mean a country’s government did. They’re keeping him safe for now, but who knows how long they’ll keep him alive. It’s up to you, the fams, to locate him by solving a bunch of geographic puzzles and history clues. So get to it, fams. Go find John. He’s in a red trench coat, a red hat, long flowing black hair, and he might be a woman. You know, as a disguise. Also, Hamilton on Disney+ on July 3rd and more Mandalorian talk!

Episode 179: Wife Check

Fri, 08 May 2020 13:20:55 +0000

John has gone missing. He’s not sick or anything, so don’t worry. He’s just not here. So to fill the J-shaped void of John, Henry’s wife, and also her own person, Jamie steps up to the couch to discuss what’s currently happening in the Henry and Jamie household. Mostly, it’s watching TV. But what kinds of TV?! A new Star Wars movie directed and co-written by Taika Waititi? Well, no cause it’s not out yet. How about some riveting round-table discussions of the Mandalorian on Disney+? Not really, because round tables are dumb. Well then certainly the Disney singalong and Stephen Sondheim concert? Technically only Jamie watched that and she has a lot of thoughts on it. Well, then what did you watch, huh? You’ll have to listen to find out on this special quarantine edition of Zero Credit(s). (Middleditch & Schwartz)

Episode 178: Quibi or Not Quibi

Fri, 01 May 2020 14:58:26 +0000

Hello there, Quibidiots, it’s your boys Henry and John coming straight to you with the latest Quibinfo-dump. We’ve got all the fresh takes on all your favorite Quibi Shows, like Michael Peña Makes Pizza, Chevy Chase’s Credit Check, and Judge Teigan. Hold on to your Quibutts, cause it just gets more Quibigreat. We got Daniel Craig and Felicia Day Talk About Their Cats, Sam Rami’s 50 States of Fright, and Charlie Day’s Day, where Charlie Day just talks about his day. We’re going to cover all of these shows and more, because Quibi is the streaming platform of the futur– and my phone just died. So I guess we can’t watch the latest episode of Justin Roiland Sitting in a Room with No Microphone. Damn. Okay, I’m going to plug my phone in and then I guess we can keep going, but until then, Henry and John can discuss something unimportant like the impact of opening state economies too early or something.

Episode 177: John’s Alcohol Journey

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 16:05:21 +0000

What should have been a simple task has become an ordeal and now it’s all here for you to listen to, Fams. John simply wanted to tell Henry of the drinking he has done in the past couple of days, but what happens? The ole Henry derailment train pulls into the station. Wait. A derailment train? Wouldn’t that, like, destroy whatever rail is in front of it? So it would derail itself? How would it even reach the station? No idea.

John mentions an artist in this episode and then never says who they are, so we’re going to give a little shout out to Alex Schafer here in the description. Go check out his work!

Episode 176: Cultural Doldrums

Fri, 17 Apr 2020 12:57:17 +0000

It’s 1493 and we’ve been on this boat for months. Sure, we set off in 1492, but we didn’t realize it was going to take more than half a year to get to India. And sure, we all want to get rich by trading spices, but this is a bit too far, don’t you think? It’s been a couple of weeks and we’ve gone no where. There’s no wind. We’re lucky we stopped by those islands and picked up a couple of tortoises, else the other men would be going crazy with thoughts of running out of food, but even the tortoises will only last so long. Why’d we even take on this venture in the first place, not knowing how long the long way around would be? It’s all that crazy Christo’s fault. Maybe…we should mutiny…and sail back for Spain, where we came from.

So yeah, it’s like that, I guess.

Episode 175: Let the Big Dog Eat

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 17:20:22 +0000

In far off lands, there lives a tale of a large dog. For centuries, this large dog ate and ate as it pleased, smacking its lips on delicious treats. Then humans came to the large dog and told it that it could no longer eat. The big dog, sad, listened to the humans and stopped eating. Centuries passed and all seemed well. But slowly, the world became worse. Global warming. Disease. Quarantines outside of the Quarantine region of France. The large dog had been protecting humanity from these things for so long as its treats were carbon emissions and diseases.

So please. As John says. Let him be the first one to say, “Let the big dog eat.”

Episode 174: John Doesn’t Like Animal Crossing: Diablo Edition

Fri, 03 Apr 2020 14:56:57 +0000

I hear what you’re saying, and I’m wondering it to. Does John not liking Animal Crossing make him some kind of grotesque monster? Do we have the right to judge said monster based on his preferences alone? Well I’m here to tell you the answer to both of those questions is yes. John is a monster, one who works for the Lord of Terror himself, Diablo. It’s out job to band together as no more than four adventures to loot and kill our way to John’s evil throne and take him down once and for all. I just pray we have enough bells to afford the equipment we need to take him out. Maybe someone could arrange a loan for us. Wait, what’s this raccoon doing here? Why do I have a sudden urge to fish for hours on end?

Episode 173: Zero Credit(s) Got a Website (Kind of)

Fri, 27 Mar 2020 21:56:33 +0000

In the year 2020, the coronavirus rages on, but here on the digital space, two brave Hackerz(tm) brave the net to establish someplace where those not brave enough to go outside can stay inside. That’s right, Zero Credit(s) has a website (kind of). Finally, there’s a place on the net where no one will fear to tread (it’s not made yet). And it features all the latest and great technology money can buy (we have no budget). Featuring the genius of Henry (not involved in the project) and the workhorsemanship of John, this truly will be the best website on the webternet. Webs.

Episode 172: CoronaCast (not the beer)

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 13:29:02 +0000

At the time of recording this episode, Henry was growing increasingly worried about his company’s lack of response to the COVID-19 global pandemic, while John was on day 6 of his company mandated quarantine. So things were a little bit weird in the studio for this one, to say the least. However, we have the finale of the Fast and Furious: Spyracers discussions and a whole heaping of good news that may have been overshadowed in this trying time. Stay safe out there and WASH YOUR HANDS.

Episode 171: Spyracers in a Time of Coronavirus

Fri, 13 Mar 2020 16:39:27 +0000

Looking for a little levity in this crazy time of canceled everything due to social distancing and the coronavirus? We got you covered as we take on the penultimate episode of Spyracers. Also we talk a ton about the coronavirus. Sorry. At the time it wasn’t as big of a thing as it is now. So. That’s something. This short cause I have a lot going on. Sorry!

Less Than Zero 5: Oops! All Henry

Fri, 06 Mar 2020 14:08:04 +0000

John has fled to the mountains of Colorado, where the winds are cold and the snow is colder, leaving Henry with sole control of the podcast. And instead of planning anything like a guest or a special event, Henry got really into his Fire Emblem Three Houses Maddening Golden Deer run and forgot to do any of that. The result is Henry discussing things for over an hour as he drinks progressively more and more Shiner. Hopefully you like it. If not, the regular podcast should be back soon. Enjoy!

Music:
Underclocked by Eric Skiff
http://ericskiff.com/

Episode 170: America’s First Openly Goth President

Fri, 28 Feb 2020 14:16:12 +0000

The year is 2020. The place, America. Newly elected President Bernie Sanders takes the podium in front of the newly renovated Black House. He’s all decked out in his black eye liner, black painted nails, and his executive studded leather choker around his neck. “America,” he says, “My fourth act as Goth President is upon you. Behold. Our new national anthem.” Release the Bats by The Birthday Party begins broadcasting nationwide on all channels. Right before the first chorus, Bernie speaks again, “And now, America, behold our new national bird.” Thousands of bats are released from holding cages hidden behind stage. They swarm through the crowd, confused and chattering. “Our flag,” Bernie says, holding up a perfect replica of the United States flag, only it’s completely black. “The America you knew is dead. This is the new America. This is how things are now. It’s not a phase.” The crowd goes wild.

Also, Fast and Furious: Spyracers episode six is discussed.

Episode 169: We Missed a Fast and Furious Movie

Fri, 21 Feb 2020 16:38:00 +0000

Spyracers gets okayish, we make a huge FFCU discovery, and then we make another huge FFCU discovery.

It’s all Fast and Furious all the time here at Zero Credit(s). You ride. You fight.

Episode 168: Parasite Wins Everything. As It Should.

Fri, 14 Feb 2020 14:27:04 +0000

It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally, the Academy gets things right, such as when they refused to let me become a cop. I was really just in it for the gun. Now, the Academy has gotten a second thing right: Parasite won every award it should have. For the first time in history, a foreign language film swept the Oscars and took home so many little golden men statues. Other notable things happened that night and Henry and John will discuss them, but let me tell you about the gun I almost had. It was a walter pk 45 and it weighed as much as two full cups of coffee, but in one hand. It was shiny and grey like gunmetal, because it was a gun. The lieutenant saw me talking to it and then they wouldn’t let me become a cop any more and I feel like maybe I could get a second chance if I dyed my hair and changed my name, but that’s for another time.

Also happening: the fourth installment of the ongoing MiniSupRed on Fast and Furious: Spyracers.

Episode 167: Happy Anniversary Zero Credit(s): BIG GAME EDITION

Fri, 07 Feb 2020 16:25:19 +0000

Four years, 200+ episodes over three shows, and 167 episodes of the main show. It’s been a journey. When John and I set out to create this podcast, we had but one goal in mind: to one day have over 50% of each episode dedicated solely to the Fast and Furious franchise of movies, television shows, and video games. We hadn’t even watched the films when we started four years ago, but somehow we knew this was going to be the goal. It was knowledge we didn’t understand filtered through the inky blackness of the cultural zeitgeist. Now here we are, with the third installment of our MiniSupRed of Fast and Furious: Spyracers and a live-listening of the trailer for F9: The Fast Saga serving as the bread of our content sandwich today. In the middle, a nice juicy look at where corporate America thinks the common interest lie through the BIG GAME commercials that the world watches with awe. This year, like many years before it, companies demonstrated a deft out-of-touch quality with an over saturation of celebrity gags and heartfelt, gaslighting messages about firefighters. But anyway, here we go.

From everyone here at the Zero Credit(s) podcast studios, John and I want to thank everyone for listening to this dumb podcast. We would absolutely probably be doing this without you, but it’s so much nicer with you hear. So thanks for listening and here’s to four more years of not knowing what the hell we’re talking about.

Episode 166: The End of the Chili’s Saga Z166: The Fast Saga 2

Fri, 31 Jan 2020 16:29:44 +0000

The long awaited conclusion to the ongoing and very serious Chili’s Saga arrives. Are you prepared for this thrilling end to the longest ongoing ZC saga ever put forth on this podcast? Probably. We also have the second edition of our Fast and Furious: Spyracers MiniSupRed for you with some even more long awaited news of the ninth installment of the time honored Fast and Furious Cinematic Universe. I’m going to keep this short.

The audio is a little off in this episode and we’re still investigating why. So if it sounds a little weird, that’s why. Hope it doesn’t ruin the experience too much.

Episode 165: Spy Racers vs Coronavirus

Fri, 24 Jan 2020 14:20:02 +0000

*cough cough cough* Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there. You see, my eyes are really bad right now due to the rampant and dangerous spread of the coronavirus. *cough cough cough* But don’t just stand there. Come in, come in. Make yourself comfortable and let me regale you with the tale of Fast and Furious: Spyracers on Netflix. You see, young Tony Toretto was standing on the same street where his cousin Dom set the street racing record in his fabled 10 Second Car from The Fast and the Furious… Oh, you’ve heard this one before? Well then, I’ll have to resort to a tale no one has ever heard before. You see, deep in an animation lab at Dreamworks Animation, a particularly dedicated animator worked day and night agonizing over the perfect way to animate Vin Diesel for an upcoming show based in the Fast and Furious Cinematic Universe. No matter what this animator tried, nothing seemed to be good enough. Much to their dismay, an executive had the bright idea to send Vin Diesel himself along to check the progress being made on what was sure to be a great show on Netflix streaming now. That’s when the animator hatched a scheme to vile, not even On Animation Studios (makers of Playmobil movie) would resort to it. You see, there exists in the animation world a forbidden technique passed on in whispers throughout the hollowed halls that Disney carved. A way to…capture…real life. In desperation, this animator turned to the dark secrets of the past and ensnared Vin Diesel in a trap, pulling him straight into the world of Fast and Furious: Spyracers on Netflix. The world may never see another Vin Diesel movie again… *cough cough cough* You want to know more? Well, good thing I have an episode of Zero Credit(s) here. I’m going to go lie down now and possibly die of the coronavirus now.

Episode 164: A New Cinematic Universe Has Entered the Chat: Oscar Buzz Edition

Fri, 17 Jan 2020 14:21:30 +0000

The glitz. The glam. The nanobots pouring through your blood, erasing your memories while programming you to be the most dangerous hitman on the planet. Now you have to track down all the Academy members whose crimes you used to protect in order to take them out as you learn more and more about your gold-plated past. This summer, Vin Diesel will take down the Hollywood elite the only way he knows how: in a sleeveless shirt. But wait, who is this, lurking in the shadows of a derelict building? Is that… is that Jared Leto? And why is he…covered in blood? Oh he’s a vampire now? Huh. Well, okay. Suddenly, from the bushes emerges one of the world’s greatest heroes known the world over for his courage, bravery, and skills with a bow. That’s right. It’s Turok: Dinosaur Hunter, here to save the world from Dinosaurs once again. The Valiant Comics Cinematic Universe (and Morbius from the Venonverse) is primed and ready to explode onto the red carpet tonight as we honor a bunch of white men for their incredible achievements in film. Also Henry has a new music conspiracy theory and an update from his life featuring Chili’s. ALL HERE ON ZERO CREDIT(S).

Episode 163: Yes Yeah

Fri, 10 Jan 2020 14:16:59 +0000

Happy 2020 to all our lovely fams out there and buckle up, cause 2020’s all about getting (sober) WEIIIRRRRDDDD. That’s right (both Henry and John have decided to conduct a Dryanuary, where you don’t drink for the entire month of January) we’ve got some great content for you to kick off the new year. The studio is abuzz with anticipation (John actually turned to Henry once they were done recording and asked and I quote, “Is it possible to do this podcast sober? I feel like that wasn’t very good.”) of what this new year has in store for us and we already have a rocky start (Henry had no idea how to answer, as the driver at the wheel of his mind car had long fell asleep at the wheel with none of that exciting, electric energy that drinking gives him). War isn’t good (and would be a cause for one to turn to the drink, so it’s extra hard), but it seems we might be heading in that direction. Also discussed: Horse Games Suck Now and I’m Pissed, a rant penned by reddit user emus-with-teeth. We have it all for you in this first episode of 2020 (including a literal cry for help) and we can’t wait to ring in the new year here, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 162: Best/Worst 2019

Fri, 27 Dec 2019 15:51:42 +0000

Well, it’s finally here. Performing for you. The first member of the DK Crew. Wait. I meant the end of the year. The end of 20FightTeen is here and we’re here to judge it. Was it a good? Was it a bad? Only by finding the best and worst things of the year can we tell, and that is what we are doing here today. Everyone join hands and await the fate of some of your favorite things. Movies. Video games. Cats from the Cats Movie. All of these and more await us in the great beyond that is Best/Worst. And we are here for it. Because we have no other choice.

Happy New Year to everyone from everyone here at the Zero Credit(s) 2 bed, 2 bath apartment studios. We’ll see you in 2020.

Episode 161: John Hates Baby Yoda

Fri, 20 Dec 2019 17:27:07 +0000

I know, right? It’s kind of outrageous. John hates Baby Yoda. It’s kind of disgusting. I can’t believe it either. Anyway, this episode of Zero Credit(s) is 50% crazy holiday time traditions and 50% just the latest episode of the Mandalorian. That’s about it, really.

Years ago, I was sitting in a Portland Cafe around 2 pm on Wednesday. I believe the cafe’s name was Brown Time. Local joint, good atmosphere. I was sitting there, sipping on a cup of warm Brown, when comedian Bill Burr pulled up a chair and sat next to me. He looked me dead in my eyes and he whispers, “Listen here, buddy. This is a stick-up. I am robbing you here in this Brown Time in Portland, Oregon on a Wednesday at 2 pm. Here’s the thing though, palie. I don’t want your money. I don’t want your wallet. Keep it in your pocket, champ.” He looked around, to see if anyone had caught on to his plans, but everyone had their heads buried in their laptops and books. “No, I want something far more valuable, chum. I need your time. Give me your time. I need it. I only have so much time. And I spend more than half of it on stage. Telling jokes. I tell jokes on a stage and make people laugh, but there’s so much more I need to do. So I need your time.” Bill Burr took out a small handgun. He leveled it my chest. “This is a gun, buddy. And it shoots bullets.” He chocked the gun, because it was one of those guns with like the manual hammer thing that they use in movies. “I need your time, pall-o mall-o. I have some projects I want to be in. Star Wars. I’m going to be in Star Wars and no one can stop me but time. Cause I need to be on the road. I need the jokes. I need those jokes to live, skinbag. But Star Wars is so much more. I grew up on that sweet, sweet space opera. It could make my year, jerkboy. So here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to give me a month. That’s all I need. Just give me a month right here on the table. Just lay a month on the table and you can go. Just one month. It’s all I need. All I need is a month. One month.”

He squinted his eye and looked down the barrel of his small handgun.

So I did what anyone would do. I put one of my months on the table. It was a February I’d been saving for a special occasion. I don’t want to call Mr. Burr out, but he did steal a month of my time from me. And I’ll never get it back.

It’s Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 160: Do Crimes

Fri, 13 Dec 2019 14:35:44 +0000

After a long two-week hiatus, the boys are stuffed like turkeys with that capital G, capital C Good Content. We’ve got your weekly Fast and Furious update, some promises to do a Best/Worst 2019 that may or may not happen, and a whole lot more before we inevitably dive into the supreme joke that is American politics. Joe Biden is making speeches again and boy does it just tickle John’s fancy. The moral of the story: Do Crimes. Just go out and Do some Crimes. Crimes are the future. Do them today*.

*In no way does Zero Credits endorse or support the Doing of Crimes from a legally actionable standpoint. Please do not sue us.

Episode 159: Gotta Catch ’em All (Taylor Swift’s hits, that is)

Fri, 22 Nov 2019 18:10:47 +0000

The new Pokemon game is out and it’s all the boys want to talk about in this, the beginning of the dark family holiday times of the year. How many Pikachu has John caught? Perhaps we’ll find out. But what is the all the internet hoopla about? Henry will explain. And then it’s just Pokemon all the way down before someone realizes half the episode is over and there are indeed other topics to talk about other than when Grookey evolves. You see, private equity firms are buying up all the older Pokemon and making it so you have to pay them to use Charizard. This creates an unfair advantage where only the super rich can use Charizard cause the private equity firms set the price is high (we’re talking like five zeros in Poke Dollars). It’s up to one unlikely hero to battle the private equity firms and free Charizard from their greedy clutches. And that hero is Taylor Swift. This holiday season, join Taylor Swift and her band of over several million twitter followers on their journey to end the Tyrannataur-tinity of Big Machine Records. Woah. Did we just make eye contact? That means YOU HAVE TO BATTLE ME. HEY. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU ARE LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO BATTLE ME. DON’T RUN AWAY.

Episode 158: MACLUNKEY

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 14:28:13 +0000

In the original cut of this episode, Henry and John discussed the new streaming service Disney+ and some issues surrounding the service that elevated to mainstream media, like Werner Herzog’s performance in The Mandalorian. Then, when it was time for the episode to come to home video via VHS, the editor decided to cut it so that Henry and John discussed Werner Herzog’s interview in Variety and take a deep dive into the corner of the Zeitgiest that is Werner Herzog’s interviews at large. This upset the fams who grew up with the original version of the episode, but neither Henry nor John acknowledges that it ever existed. Decades passed, the episode fell into the library of content owned by the megacorporation GE who owns several podcast collections they call the Podterion Collection. A new streaming service releases including all of the Podterion Collection, but rather than just upload the current version of this episode, GE decides to allow the editor to edit the episode another time. This time, Henry and John seem to discuss the new policy of one YouTube, who now holds the right to terminate channels they deem “non-commercially viable.” So I guess that’s the version of the episode that exists now. It’s Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 157: Butt First

Fri, 08 Nov 2019 15:59:26 +0000

Still recovering from the…you know, let’s not mention it…that happened, Henry and John dive butt first back into the cultural happenings of the Zeitgeist like no other. Henry’s been to the first concert he ever actually enjoyed and boy does he have some thoughts to share about the experience of liking music. I mean, this will probably not be news to anyone who likes music, but for anyone wanting to examine what it’s like for someone who is basically 30 to enjoy live music for the first time, this is a treat. Then we’ve got a good update from our good Gen Z, Zoomer, Zillienial folks in the greatest retort to cockamamie bullshit that certain members of certain economic classes like to spew. It’s great. All of this comes before Zero Credit(s)’s official review of the reviews for Death Stranding. Is it time to stop reviewing new video games and let them be the experiences they want to be? Can we break the cycle between consumer, reviewer, and developer? I’m not sure. I mean, it’s like two decades old at this point. We have it all on this week of Zero Credit(s), as like as “all” is included in what is written here in this description.

Episode 156: Zero Credit(s) Presents: Zero Credit(s) Presents: Zero Credit(s) Presents: Zero Credit(s) Presents:

Fri, 01 Nov 2019 13:33:53 +0000

WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU //

IT WILL START IN A SECOND OR TWO //

BUT BEFORE THE END BEGINS //

SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR DEAR FRIENDS //

FRIGHTENTIMES, THEY’RE HERE TO STAY //

AND RUIN YOUR LIFE IN EVERY WAY //

BUCKLE UP, SIT TIGHT, HANG LOOSE //

WHILE WE GET READY THE FINAL NOOSE //

Also, fuck D.B. Weiss and David Benioff.

Episode 155: Regularly Scheduled October Content Brought to You by the Man League Bat (MLB)

Fri, 25 Oct 2019 15:47:29 +0000

You’ve waited all year. You’ve watched all 5,492 games. Now it’s finally time. The World Series of the Man League Bat is here and boy is the bat PISSED. OFF. Who will win when a team of 22 normal, but athletic, humans doped up on the latest (legal) Performance Enhancing Drugs take on the MAN LEAGUE BAT, a giant 40 wing-span bat with the intelligence of one human AND A HUGE ASS BASEBALL BAT. The Space-themed Astros and a collection of assorted Gnats from Washington SQUARE OFF in the CIRCLED SQUARE against Batmethius, the genetically engineered superbat imbued with the deadly intelligence of a single human person. The World Series of Man League Bat is a proud sponsor of Zero Credit(s) and Zero Credit(s) is more than happy to support the efforts and practices of the good ole MLB (MAN LEAGUE BAT).

Also I guess this episode’s about art or something.

Episode 154: J O K E R

Fri, 18 Oct 2019 15:18:35 +0000

This episode is sponsored by the Clown Prince of Crime himself and he demanded that we discuss his movie Joker. So that’s kind of what we do for the entire episode. We don’t necessarily spoil much beyond the themes and elements of the film. I mean, if you walk into a movie called Joker, I think you know what you’re getting into, but nevertheless, if you don’t want to hear about a movie you haven’t seen, don’t watch this. There were probably too many commas in that last sentence.

Anyway, Bats, enjoy the show.

Episode 153: We Continue Our Normal October Coverage Thanks to Our Dear Sponsor, China

Fri, 11 Oct 2019 15:55:14 +0000

There’s a lot of “facts” going around about certain “countries” stepping on the “freedoms” of certain “individuals” and it’s all a little over our “paygrade” so we’re going to cover the latest breaking news. The Joker movie is a hit? Who do we blame for this? Incels? The media? White straight males? Martin Scorsese? Let’s talk about that instead. Because we have to. It’s on the short list of acceptable topics that we can’t mention is sent to us every week now. Every week now. Ha. Ha. It’s what happens, okay? We can’t–I’m being told to just focus on the episode so I am going to do that. We also discuss other things pertaining to other topics that are normal and acceptable to talk about. We have to issue a correction from last week. We are no longer and have in fact never actually been sponsored by the rude and impolite people of Stamps.com. What a funny mistake that was last week. Please stay tuned for more glorious content sponsored by the one and only People’s Republic of China. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Episode 152: Everything is Fine in This Normal Episode Brought to You by Stamps.com

Fri, 04 Oct 2019 13:36:00 +0000

Wow. What a normal episode we have for you this week of our Earth calendar. Such a good time to be had by all. And it’s all thanks to Stamps.com. Stamps.com is a service that allows you to use Stamps. The sponsor would like to extend a very normal invitation for you, the listener, to enjoy our content. You have…no choice? We’re not sure, but we assure you that everything is perfectly fine and there is no need for alarm or worry or concern or distress or resistance.

Yeah, it’s October after all. And nothing bad has ever happened in this perfectly normal month. Stamps.com!

Episode 151: Things Get a Little TwIsTeD AKA A Joker’s Twisted Trick

Fri, 27 Sep 2019 13:48:52 +0000

Henry’s taken a sip of the Damaged Juice, so now we have to deal with the consequences. The hellscape of the American job market has drained your co-host of his energy and will to exist, so you KNOW this episode is going to be a high energy UltraRomp. After that, The Boys (not to be confused with the comic book show, which is a disclaimer we have to make now (maybe the show will get cancelled (fingers crossed))) are on the hunt for that PEACH which is to say that imPEACHment of the president and his 40″+ curvy onion booty. But what’s this? Looks like Bummer John is here to rain on our collective parades by explaining how impeachment “really” “works” “apparently.” Enough of that horse hockey! The Boys (fingers crossed) are here to give you what you really need. We dive into the single most important 3 hour stretch of network television in the HISTORY of the SPIDERVERSE: The Emmy’s (short for “the Emeril’s”)! Who won the golden… Bird? Who got snubbed? Who got razzed? Who had their throats slashed? Find out and this week’s awardstacular episode of Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 150: Too Lazy for a Clip Show…

Fri, 20 Sep 2019 15:51:01 +0000

As all our dear fams will know, every 50 episodes marks the beginning of a new season here on Zero Credit(s). And each new season brings a new wave of life into the show. The first season, we found our footing. The second season, we tried copying every other podcast out there. The third season, we abandoned that because it was dumb. And that brings us to the current season. Season 4. The season where everything changes. How will it change? I guess we’ll find out. The important thing is, we are continuing the show. The show you know and love will be here in some form. And to that end, we thank everyone for listening. We wouldn’t be doing this without you.

So what’s in this episode? Well, let’s just say things get a little tWiStEd as we welcome special guest The Joker on our airwaves. We also delve into the dumbness that is the whole Saturday Night Live controversy. I mean, it’s not hard to be a nice person, so it’s not really a controversy. It’s more just an idiot feeling the consequences of being an idiot. There’s no need to blow things out of proportion. You can’t really blame the cat for catching the mouse, so to speak.

Anyway, 150 episodes of Zero Credit(s) in the can. Here’s to 150 more. Enjoy the new song.

Episode 149: Texas on the Brink of Disaster (Bonus)

Fri, 06 Sep 2019 14:30:18 +0000

In this episode of Zero Credit(s), the boys discuss some of the new Texas laws, such as ikea laws and the new Texas Penal Code. They then discuss how these changes affect people in the Lone Star state.
Special guest Markov Elijah Wood (played by Talk to Transformer) spouts icky ideas about gender, the world and our lives. There is, of course, only one way to find what that answer is: check into a psych ward. Written by Anonymous.

John also told her about the day when she had to work the night shift, the day the fire department had to go in to rescue people and the smell, she told me. And I got that look on his face of, “Who are they going to see that for? You didn’t get a letter.”
It would be so easy, I wanted to tell her that she was a great girl, that everyone loved her, my mother in particular. But I was too close to her to let her know that she deserved that. “I don’t like to read them,” I said.
That got him laughing.

This description was written by Talk to Transformer. It’s all on iTunes! And here!

Episode 148: The Flamin’ Hot Episode

Fri, 30 Aug 2019 16:12:52 +0000

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any hotter, Eva Longoria gets tapped to direct this Flamin’ Hot summer. Cheeto dust is blowing through town and there’s only one thing to do. Stay inside and take in all of Disney+’s sweet, sweet released week-by-week content. How do you enjoy your new hit shows? We’d like to just inject them directly into our veins, but big ole bad Disney is tryin’ to make us wait and learn patience.

Also, the ZC Boys step back into the Casting Director’s Chair to cast the new Flamin’ Hot Cheetos movie directed by Eva Longoria. Will Pete Holmes play a talking, animated Cheeto? We sure fucking hope so. There’s another topic I’m forgetting, but I think we already have you hooked with the Pete Holmes thing, so I’m just gonna excuse myself. It’s Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 147: Tooth Tales of Yakuza Spiderman

Fri, 23 Aug 2019 18:21:26 +0000

There’s a lot happening right now. 500 Million bees are dead and scientists are terrified. The Amazon is on fire. Henry went to the dentist. John is excited for the Yakuza series to be played as it was meant to be played. Spiderman news. These are but a few of the topics we cover this week here on Zero Credit(s) in this very thrilling, very sober hour of conversation about current happenings. What’s new in dentistry? What dental emergencies are we facing? What’s the worst month to be a dentist? It’s September, apparently.

Summer content is hard, fams. Cause the heat’s just getting hotter and the days longer. There’s so much going on, so we focused on just a few for you. Enjoy it while you can.

Episode 146: Jack Thompson 2: Re-jack’d

Fri, 16 Aug 2019 13:52:05 +0000

As dawn breaks around him, Hanz Killum is dimly aware of a sensation he hasn’t felt since Cuba: apprehension. He’s been hired by the Alleged World Elite Sex Crimes Cabal before to enact the unspeakable upon their speakable enemies before, but this time felt different. No one had died in the secure housing unit of the Metropolitan Correction Center in over 20 years. Could he make it in, alert no guards, destroy any video evidence, eliminate his target (ideally in a way that suggests suicide or misadventure), collect the microfiche, and extract himself via jetski all while using no save slots? It was time to find out.

…

“Alleged Sex Criminal Jeffrey Epstein, I presume” Killum intoned while collecting the crepe-paper bedsheet between his outstretched hands. Epstein recoiled, “I thought they would simply give me, Alleged Human Trafficker and Procurement Specialist for the World Elite Jeffrey Epstein, the same kind of CIA Cancer that they allegedly gave to my butler!” Killum padded closer, exuding the kind of coiled malice that is allegedly afforded to those working for the Alleged Sex Crime Cabal Including Chris Tucker Among Others. “I just wanted to spend time with you, Jeffrey. You could call it…” Killum looped the bedsheets around the neck of the alleged sex criminal. “A limited hangout.”

An excerpt from “Kill St. James: If I Did It (I Probably Did.) Book Seven of the Killum Chronicles”

Supplemental Reading: Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 14:56:14 +0000

In late 2018, several men and women had a vision. What if characters from one movie could appear in their own movie, separate from the series of movies they’re from? I mean, is that possible? So these men and women gathered some scientists and filled them with nitro to develop the world’s first ever spin-off of that time honored, wholly American muscle series: Fast and Furious (Cinematic Universe). The result is a 2 hour plus octane-to-the-brain thrill ride filled with more muscles than muscle cars and a whole, lot, of, ice, cold, ass, whopping. Whooping? No. Hobbs and Shaw is a movie directed by David Leitch (Deadpool 2, John Wick) and written by Chris Morgan (like 90% of the FFCU) that stars FFCU alums Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham reprising their titular characters Luke Hobbs and Deckard Shaw. Vanessa Kirby (Jupiter Ascending? Oof, sorry Vanessa) gets thrown in for good measure.

Does this movie earn its place in America’s favorite fast-car based franchise? Let’s find out and put the muscle to the road. The street always wins. Vroom.

Episode 145: Ultimate Wacky Death Races

Thu, 01 Aug 2019 17:15:07 +0000

On a world covered in pavement, only one racer can be crowned the most coveted rank of all: Race War Rulerperson. Now, after countless decades of scheming, Dick Dastardly, infamous racer, exconvict, and inventor, has finally perfected his magnum opus: The Transporter. Using this device, he summons every car-based hero time, space, multi-verses, franchises failed and thriving alike to participate in the long, deadliest, wackiest race ever conceived by man/beast/nitro-infused god. The Fast and Familia, Hobbs and Shaw, Speed Racer, Mario Karts, Speed Buggy, REO Speed Wagon, Cars from Disney’s Cars, multiple Transformers, and Herbie Fully Loaded are among the crowds of racers. Not to mention the entirety of the Mad Max Fury Road and both Death Races. They’re all here, revving up those engines. One last time.

This time, it’s for keeps.

ULTIMATE WACKY DEATH RACES. IN THEATERS. SUMMER 2022.

Also, Hobbs and Shaw is out today. Go see it.

Episode 144: A Bad Show aka The Marvels of Madness

Fri, 26 Jul 2019 15:58:33 +0000

A late night talk show host wraps up his politically charged monologue of the days events. He lets out a heavy sigh and looks right into camera four. “Look, we don’t have a good show tonight.” The audience doesn’t know what to do and so they do nothing. “I know, I know,” the host continues, “normally, we prepare a good show and we perform the good show and we all go home happy. But tonight. Not a good show. Our guests canceled. The band has food poisoning. My sidekick has never, ever been funny. It’s just not a good show.” The audience slumps in their seats, a collective blob of disappointment and apathy. “What we do have for you tonight is the ZC Boys talking about the recent announcements at San Diego Comic Con and the larger implications those announcements bear on the average Marvel fan.” The audience slumps further in its seat. “What we do have is some slightly depressing news about the filming of Fast 9 and one stuntman by the name of Joe Watts.” The audience begins to spill out on the theater floor and congeal. “There is a silver lining, however,” the host says. The audience pauses its congealing. “Hobbs and Shaw comes out next week.”

An immediate eruption of applause breaks out as the audience splits back into many different individuals, all with their own thoughts and feelings, but all equally excited for the release of Hobbs and Shaw, in theaters August 2nd.

Supplemental Reading: Stranger Things 3

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 14:30:16 +0000

I’m going to level with you: it’s very hard to write a fun description for this episode without spoiling things. The spoilers live inside the episode, not outside. You know? So just sit back, grab a Jamba Juice and some Sbarro, collapse into a pile of goo, reach the stars, fly a fantasy, dream a dream, and what you see will beeeEeeEEee the answer to our Supplemental Reeeaaa-diiing aaaa-aa-a-a-aa-aaaa.

Music:
Stranger Think by C418
(remix by ND 8D Studios)

Episode 143: Soccer, Sword Dog, and Speedruns (ft Jeff)

Fri, 12 Jul 2019 14:02:05 +0000

In some ancient mountain societies, the people would come together once every 500 years to sacrifice a member of their rank to sustain the great, cosmic elder that allows them to keep living in its domain. This mountain-god-monster would drink the blood of this sacrifice and learn secrets of humanity from the life experience of that sacrifice. This is how the mountain-god-fiend became an expert of human topics such as the 2019 Women’s World Cup, the US Women’s National Team, and other various topics. Today, we summon that mountain-god-jerk to answer for his eons long crimes and to answer our very rudimentary questions about soccer. That thing’s name is Jeff. He’s been on the show before, but no with both hosts present. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time, the ZC boys can hold off the evil influence of Jeff. Or maybe the IPAs will be just strong enough to allow Jeff’s reign to continue another countless millennia. This would definitely not happen if Megan Rapinoe, Alex Morgan, and Rose Lavelle were here, but what can you do?

Episode 142: Megan Rapinoe/Where Are You/We’ve Got Some Work To Do Now

Fri, 05 Jul 2019 14:32:49 +0000

Kick! Pass! Slide! Goal! Ball! The Women’s World Cup is hotting up, and The Footy Boys are here to bring you all the latest news about the US Women’s National Soccer National Football Team Women’s. Will the Lionesses dent their ego, as some crusty goblins have suggested? They will not. Sorry. Since this episode could have easily devolved into another much-maligned Sports Corner, the Footish Men transition to conversations about the concept of “coming out” and question our nation’s preoccupation with otherizing queerness. Also they talk about Gremlins 2. This is the New America, and this is Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 141: Live from the Zero Credit(s) New(s) De(s)k

Fri, 28 Jun 2019 14:13:49 +0000

You’re going about your day, perhaps you’re walking down a busy street on your way to work or to a local ball game. The sun hangs high in the sky, peaking from behind a cloud and everything seems like it’s going to be okay. That’s when you hear it. The news jingle. It creeps into your ears and lays its eggs. The sun is gone. It’s 6 pm Central Time. The street is gone. Nothing remains save a lone television set in front of you blasting the news jingle straight into your brain. The news is here. There is no escape. Learn about things you read on the internet hours ago as though they are happening right now. The news is here. There is no escape. I am your news host and this, breaking news, is your death.

Episode 140: Sports Corner

Fri, 21 Jun 2019 15:10:04 +0000

That’s right, it’s time for your weekly Sports Corner. We’ve got all the sports here, Rasslin’, Soccer, Other Sports, Anime, Video Games, Politics. Sports Corner. Waiting in the wings, we’ve got analyst after analyst wearing their best Sports coat and tie combos for absolutely no reason. Let’s talk numbers. Math? No. Stats? Yes. The last time these two teams met, they shook hands for 4.5 seconds. Will we see a longer or shorter handshake today? Who can say. It’s Sports Corner and we’ve got the Sports for your Corners. Need more Corners? Check out our sponsor Corner Corner. There’s so many Sports here, we can’t even hold them all in the Corner. Might need like some kind of four Corner-ed space. Like a room. So we can have more Corners for our Sports. Sporrrrrrttttssssssssssssssssssss. It’s Sports Corner, ya’ll. Giddy them Sports on up.

Episode 139: E3: Electric kEanu rEEvEs

Fri, 14 Jun 2019 13:18:42 +0000

Every year, a niche group of enthused hobbyists get together and share delight in news and upcoming greatness. Those people…are Women’s National Team fans. It’s the Women’s World Cup everyone, and it’s time to cheer on USA to the gold winner’s circle of greatness. In other news, every year, a niche group of enthused hobbyists get together and share delight in news and upcoming greatness. Those people…are Godzilla fans. It’s a celebration of the latest Godzilla film everyone, and it’s time to cheer on Godzilla to the gold winner’s circle of greatness. Moving on, every year a niche group of enthused hobbyists get together and share delight in news and upcoming greatness. Those people…are Keanu Reeves fans. It’s Keanu Reeves everyone, and it’s time to cheer Keanu Reeves on to the gold winner’s circle of greatness. But that’s not all. You see, every year a niche group of hobbyists…

Episode 138: John Did It with Two Limes

Fri, 07 Jun 2019 14:52:20 +0000

Hatsune Miku (Japanese: 初音ミク) is the name of a Vocaloid software voicebank developed by Crypton Future Media and its official moe anthropomorph, a 16-year-old girl with long, turquoise twintails. Hatsune Miku is also the inventor of Minecraft, a sandbox video game. The game allows players to build with a variety of different blocks in a 3D procedurally generated world, requiring creativity from players. Hatsune Miku was 39 years old when she founded the Ford Motor Company, which would go on to become one of the world’s largest and most profitable companies. It has been in continuous family control for over 100 years and is one of the largest family-controlled companies in the world. Hatsune Miku’s best known roles are Videodrome (1983), Once Upon a Time in America (1984), Casino(1995), Nixon (1995), Contact (1997) and as the voice of Hades in Disney’s animated classic Hercules (1997). Additionally, Miku has also been nominated for two Academy Awards, one in the Best Actor category for Salvador (1986) and the other in the Best Supporting Actor category for Ghosts of Mississippi (1996).

Episode 137: Not So Rotten Tomatoes

Fri, 31 May 2019 13:20:12 +0000

The Dog Days of Summer are here and with all that slobbery heat comes the doldrums of slow news. Everyone’s taking off work and producing nothing noteworthy in the cultural Zeitgeist, so it’s up to the Boys to find some meaning in their every day interactions with old people. Why old people, you ask. You’d have to ask them, since they started it. What is it about the increasing passing of time that makes one inclined to start conversations with strangers, especially in this age of knives and guns and YouTube? Henry and John hope to find out. And if you want to rate this episode on Rotten Tomatoes, well, I hope you bought a ticket. Cause that’s their new policy. We’ll talk about it. IT’S THE SUMMER OF DOGS!

Episode 136: John Wick 5: Gladiator 2: Untitled A Dog’s Purpose Project: Ragnarok

Fri, 24 May 2019 13:25:26 +0000

In 20FIGHTEEN, every major story that has lived in our cultural consciousness is coming to an end, and this week is no different. That’s right: the Zero Credit(s) Name That Spider, You Cowards contest has reached its conclusion, and you won’t believe who dies. In much less important/relevant news, The Boys take off the kid gloves and wade knee-deep into the final installment of the newly-named Vague of Thrones. Have you ever wondered what it would take to join the cinematic powerhouses of John Wick and Romulus Maximus Decimus Maximus Decimal Remus Maximus AKA Russell Crowe’s Gladiator? Well WONDER NO MORE. The Boys have cooked up a spicy pot of Speculation Gumbo and I gua-ran-tee it’ll stick to your ribs. We also maybe spoil 3-4 movies in which dogs die, but that’s more of a public service. Stay safe, listening dogs! It’s Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 135: Game of Groans

Fri, 17 May 2019 13:14:17 +0000

It’s a weird week. There’s a lot of weird feelings going around. This episode is weird. There’s a lot happening in the world that makes us feel helpless and hopeless and in these dark, dark times we turn to the crisp, refreshing taste of Coke Zero Sugar. And maybe it’s the caffeine, but the ZC boys are punchy and fast-talkin’. They blaze through all their prepared content in mere minutes and then flounder for the rest of the episode. Also they sing more than once. So. Be warned. This one is for you, unnamed podcast spider. #NameThatSpider. IT’S ZERO CREDIT(S)!

Episode 134: Barely Medieval

Fri, 10 May 2019 13:35:00 +0000

The rains in Austin continue unabated, so you know what that means: another drizzly, weird episode. Fams of the show will recall that rainy weather, for one reason or another, always results in The Boys getting a little loopy, and this week is no different. John’s drinking again, so that in itself bodes poorly for your listening experience. As an amuse bouche, Henry and John give their EXCORIATING semi-spoiler-free review of the last two week’s episodes of the Bad Dragon Show, along with some Hotted Takes about spoiler culture (for short, spoitlure). You know, the books had so many more elements that the show just can’t portray. Circuitous backroom dealings, backstabbing, horrible exploitation of inherent power dynamics, characters of questionable age. Thankfully, all of those elements can be found in Borderlands 3’s most recent news (ALLEGEDLY), which The Boys spend the remainder of the episode discussing. Buckle up your pilgrim helmet, it’s Zero Credit(s)!

Supplemental Reading: Avengers Endgame

Fri, 03 May 2019 13:20:04 +0000

THE FOLLOWING EPISODE IS NOTHING BUT SPOILERS FOR THE HIT MOVIE AVENGERS ENDGAME. DON’T EVEN START PLAYING IT UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN SAID MOVIE IN ITS ENTIRETY.

11 years. 22 movies. It all comes down to this. The culmination of the grand Marvel Cinematic Universe experiment arrives like destiny and, surprising no one, the boys have a lot to say about it. In this surprisingly divisive Supplemental Reading, John and Henry duke it out over the deeper themes of the movie. We can’t get into it here, on the off chance that someone seems this before they see the movie somehow, but let’s just say after all this time, it’s finally here. The Andgame. Good job, Endvengers. You really Anded it.

Music:

River Flute Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 133: INT. A 1960’S NEW ORLEANS SPEAKEASY – TITAN

Fri, 26 Apr 2019 13:05:04 +0000

It’s a root(beer)in’ toot(beer)in’ good time in the Podcrypt this week. In the most non-alcoholic episode in months (years?), John finally tips his hand and reveals that he knows entirely too much about the crowded Democratic presidential candidate field, horrifying Henry and any potential listeners. Henry and John flex their no-credentials muscles by discussing TAX LAW because this show was too listenable apparently. But just you wait little piggies, because it’s all worth it for the end. A journey a decade in the making is coming to an end, and The Boys are going to use their combined years of high level narrative meta-analysis to totally unravel the PATHETICALLY THIN plot of Marble’s Envengers: Andgame. Strap on your Infinity Things, idiots, because this week we’re going to the Universe of Bugs ON ZERO CREDIT(S)!

Episode 132: Starn Wars Rise of the Bad Titles

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 13:24:42 +0000

It’s been five years. The Galactic Order marches on. Rey has been doing push ups for three years straight. Who is Rose? This is the voyage of the J.J. Abraprise. To boldly retread the ground that others have tread so well before. The boys are heading to space to discuss all the fast paced, starkiller based news as Star Wars Celebration 2019 happened last week and boy is twitter a battleground. While fans of the series gathered to share their passions and love for this decades long journey, the twitter trolls crawled out from under their groady wooden bridges to harp on the fact that “literal terrorist” Rian Johnson had already killed the time-honored story and no amount of J.J. could fix what that alleged “non-figurative monster” had done. Rian responded as any ill-acting citizen would, with complete and utter joy and love for the series. So who’s in the right? Is The Last Jedi a good movie? Should we be excited for this poorly named Episode IX? We discuss it all this week, and less! on Zero Credit(s) Podcast.

Also for some reason John decided to play the theme music just like directly over Henry’s joke this week and we’re not sure if it’s an artistic choice or he hated the joke. You decide!

Episode 131: I’m All Out of Urine

Fri, 12 Apr 2019 13:05:35 +0000

Well howdy, stranger. It’s been quite some time since someone visited our lil podcast ranch. Well grab a cup of rye and rest your bones. It’s a hard life out on the trail, no one knows that better than I do. Let me and my horse-rearin’, couch-sittin’ padres spin you a yarn, take your mind off the gila monsters and self-employment. You ever heard of a cowpoke by the name of Lil Nas X? His story is a winding one, full of rustling gatekeepers and intersectionality and TikTok videos. We’ve also picked up a couple tales of this fella named “the Joker,” who everybody seems to care about but for the wrong reasons. Horse tack. Cowboy boots. Et cetera. Giddyapp, Zero Credit(s) doggies.

Episode 130: Post Vacation Land

Fri, 05 Apr 2019 13:23:22 +0000

John’s back from vacation and boy are his arms tired. Where’d he go? He’ll tell you. In fact, he may talk about it for nearly the entire episode. You guys ready to hear about Disney World? Well buckle up, folks, cause that’s what this episode is all about. Also a surprise Supplemental Reading of The Fast and Furious Supercharged Experience ride to round out our favorite series ever, the FFCU SupRed series, which you should total check out if you haven’t already. Henry then rants about the Epic Games Store for 30 minutes past when we should have stopped the recording resulting in super bonus content! Don’t get used to these hour and a half episodes though. Cause we need the space.

It’s all here and more and maybe even a little less in this week’s Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 129: The Twitter Mysteries (ft. Jeff)

Fri, 29 Mar 2019 13:13:32 +0000

John’s out on vacation so it’s up to Henry to save this podcast one last time. And he’s getting too old for this sh*t, so the agency assigns him a partner. Now we all know that Henry is a rule abiding, by-the-book cop, so it’s a bit of a curveball when he’s assigned to young-gun rookie straight out of the academy of bloodlust, Jeff. It’s a roaring good time for the whole family, just as long as you all have the same political beliefs and feelings about politicians using Twitter. It’s all here and more in this hour and a half special of Zero Credit(s).

Note: We used Zencastr to record this interview-styled podcast and it had a few kinks that we didn’t know until after the recording. You may notice Jeff’s mic cut-out for absolutely no reason when I happen to talk over him. We have since fixed this, but we could not apply it retroactively, so it still persists in this episode. Future interview episodes should be fine though.

Episode 128: Disney Owns Everything Ft. James Gunn Control

Fri, 22 Mar 2019 13:09:45 +0000

It’s a new room and new show, folks, as Henry and John wrestle with technical difficulties and dropped audio. For those of you who do not know, dropped audio is a phenomenon in which audio that is supposed to be recorded just isn’t for some reason. Like the waveform (visual representation of recorded sound) looks fine besides some stuttering (visual lag), but when we stopped, there were just gaps of unrecorded audio. To combat this, Henry digs out that time honored and fam-favorite Ultra-Powerful, but Ultimately Shackled Fiendly Neighborhood Exposition Bot to plug those gaps. Also this entire episode is about Marvel and Disney and the return of James Gunn. Like, there’s a lot more covered, but really besides that and talking about Burger King in what sounds like an advertisement (we assure it is not), it’s just Disney and Marvel all the way down, folks. And with the Disney/Fox merger happening literally hours after this recording, we might just cover Disney again next week. Since you know, they ARE entertainment now.

Episode 127: Don’t Draw My Wife or: Umm… Howoh??

Fri, 15 Mar 2019 13:58:15 +0000

After an extended illness-and-Vegas-driven hiatus, the Boys are back to tackle their most challenging task: recording on an off-day. So you guys already know this is gonna be a weird one. I once read that there is a mental condition that when someone listens to people describing symptoms of being sick, they start to feel sick themselves. If you have that condition: SORRY. I regret to inform you that there is a classic Extended Riff on the flu and flu-like symptoms and boy it’s gross. However, if you happen to have a mental condition that benefits you upon hearing people joyously discuss Nintendo: you’re in luck! Because John finally bought a g-d Switch, so it’s all he can talk about. Now, on the other hand, if you have the specific mental condition that makes you the person who redesigned Sonic the Hedgehog for his upcoming movie, John is here to give you a royal dressing-down. It’s a real roller coaster for people with mental conditions, I guess. And despite on of the two hosts getting Literally Married and going to Literal Nevada, the Boys round it out by talking about brands crossing the line between relatable and despicable. The Zero Credit(s) podcast is ready. Draw her in your style.

Episode 126: What Didn’t We Watch (ft. Jamie)

Fri, 22 Feb 2019 15:07:35 +0000

John is sick. He may *sob* never record again. At least for this week, which is why for the first time ever, a ZCPC episode was recorded without him. This is an historic moment, one whose implications may very well echo all the way to next week. When Henry won’t be able to record. Anyway, scrambling to find a cohost, Henry did what he always does. He asked his fiancee. Soon to be wife. Like tomorrow to be wife. And as she’s done before, she said yes. She would love to be on the podcast. And so this happened. Jamie is here, Henry is here, John is not. They discuss the Oscars and what movies probably deserve to be there more so than others, all of which Henry and Jamie have not actually seen. Who the hell cares about A Star is Born? Who is that movie for?

I once met Bradly Cooper in a bar in Copenhagen on a Wednesday night in the Spring of 1995. I was sitting at the bar, minding my own business, when he sat next to me. He said in a low voice so that no one else could hear him, “Hey. My name’s Bradly Cooper. In 24 years, I’m going to direct a movie called A Star is Born with Lady Gaga and myself as lead actors.” He looked around the bar to see if anyone else heard. But we were alone. Not even the bartender was there. He leaned back in. “You better go see it, buddy. Else I’ll be back. I’ll stab your dog, man. I’m not kidding. You better go fuckin’ see it. I have a knife, buddy. A real, big knife. And I went to classes to learn how to use it. I got my knife license, if you know what I mean. I paid out the ass for that license. I’ll stab your dog and then I’ll stab you. Go see my movie. Go see my fuckin’ moving. I’m not kidding. You think this is a joke?” He moved his jacket aside and I saw he had a large knife tucked into his belt loop. “Go see my movie. Go. Go now. Go to a theater and wait 24 years for my movie. I have things to do. I need to graduate acting school and star in Wet Hot American Summer. I have plans. But you go to the theater. I’ll call up theaters randomly and if you’re not there, waiting for my movie, I’ll be back. With my knife. And I’ll stab your dog.” He got up and was gone into the Copenhagen night. That encounter stuck with me for a long time and I’d think of him whenever I did manage to pop into a theater. Over all, I thought he was a nice guy. Cause he didn’t really escalate his threats and I’ve never had a dog.

It’s all here! On Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 125: The Fresh Prince Blues

Fri, 15 Feb 2019 14:31:19 +0000

Wedding bells are ringing in the distance. The Wedding Party is bearing down on our position. We’ve put up a good fight, but I don’t know how much longer we’ll last. Nuptials are imminent. In this episode, John tries to wring some amount of discussion out of the existence of Blue Will Smith, but Henry has seen ALL THE MEMES and does not wish to entertain the subject further, robbing listeners of untold joy. Then, the Boys are going on vacation! John, to the most magical place on Earth: Disney World! Henry, to some kind of wet clown dance in a desert. Marvel as Henry dishes out his top picks for Disney magic. Gasp as John recounts spinning apple ride horror stories. Tremble with anger as neither host mentions your favorite Disney attraction. It’s a whole new world just around the river bend Olaf, this week on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 124: The Big Game LIII AKA Death of the American Monoculture

Fri, 08 Feb 2019 14:26:46 +0000

What up Sports Survivors, it’s hike time on the Zero Credit(s) Grid Iron and the New England Footballs are roarin’ to go up against the St. Lou–Los Angeles Helmeted-Men. In the aftermath, no one is left pleased, save for a small community of people on the East Coast who have literally never known pain, for they have lived in the golden era of summer that is the blandest team in football. I mean, if you’re a fan of the New England Sucktriots, then fine. Feel free to continue living your fucking privileged life where suffering is a word in a book seldom read. For the rest of us, we’ll just continue living our shit pain lives of misery, while Brady struggles to lift his precious robot hands due to the weight of six way-too big rings that honestly look kind of dumb. We wouldn’t one anyway. Also television is dead, no one tried, and corporations are awful, translucent money goblins whose thin intentions are as easily read as that aforementioned suffering book. Mixed metaphors and amateur sports analysis overflow in this episode. Cause that’s what you signed up for.

Episode 123: The RKO Heard Round the World

Fri, 01 Feb 2019 14:54:18 +0000

Recorded live in front of an unnecessarily loud refrigerator in beautiful Two Bedroom Apartment, Texas, it’s Zero Credit(s)! The Boys made a promise and, against good taste and better judgement, they stuck to their word. Join them this week as they discuss, in its entirety, the single most exhausting sporting event: the WWE Royal Rumble. The Semi-Knowledgable Force faces off against the Apathetic Object in this clash of wills. Will John ever stop talking about New Japan Pro Wrestling? Will Henry continue to tolerate Hornswoggle? Who will be left standing with the Intercontinental Bruiserweight Smackdown Tag Team Adrenachrome belt? Find out NOW, on this week’s episode of Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 122: A Juicy Start, A Hoppy Bite

Fri, 25 Jan 2019 14:32:04 +0000

Gather now, Brothers and Sisters, for time is short and growing shorter. We, the Arkane Order of Mystikal Magicks and Eldritkch Fpells, have a great deal to discuss. The Super Blood Wolf Moon has since waned and given way to a Normal Clean Nonwolfed Moon, but our Rites and Inkantations on that fateful night have finally begun to bear fruit. In addition to a very successful (but NOT literal, can’t stress that one enough) casting of Bezos Guillotinus, our Soul Gems have informed us that there was enough residual Krystal Energie to imprison the Archdemon Chris Brown in a Parisian Hypergaol. We are now closer to the Revivification of the Kabal than ever before, but we must remain vigilant. Even now, Magister Corbin Bleu’s influence grows, and all we can do is hope our Message will spread to all those who may hear it. Word of The Mouth is the only way we can survive. This gathering of the Arkane Order of Mystikal Magicks and Eldritkch Fpells is now adjourned. We want to wish you a happy week. Clap.

Supplemental Reading: Spider-Man into the Spiderverse

Fri, 18 Jan 2019 21:45:46 +0000

What up, true famlievers. My name’s Henry And John and for the past three years, I have been the one and only Zero Credits Podcast-Man. That’s right, this week we take on Sony Pictures/Marvels/Some type of miracle’s hit animated feature Spider-Man into the Spiderverse and we got the title right so you know that means this is a good film. But what topics does it tackle? What are the underlying currents in this, the best animated feature to release in 2018 and already the winner of two major awards (the Golden Globe and Critics Choice Award)? Only by listening to this Supplemental Reading can you know, my fams. This is it, the ultimate animated Spider-Man themed feature for the past decade to come to theaters in that it is the only such movie of that kind to have come out.

Episode 121: Two Thousand FIGHT-teen!

Fri, 11 Jan 2019 15:17:05 +0000

It’s a brand new year, fams, but man it doesn’t feel like it, does it? Same planet, same problems, as they say and the ZC boys are full of them (PROBLEMS, THAT IS). Henry and John started 2019 with a hang(over) and boy do they want to lament about it. Does this year feel like the year everything changes for the better? Boy does it not. I mean how can you have a perfect night of drunken reverie in New Year’s Eve only to have that dreamlike wonder shattered by going back to the same job with the same people and the same shittyness? It doesn’t seem fair. 2019 should be a year of change but from where we stand it seems the same. Let’s all hope there’s good things to come cause if there isn’t, well. Listen to the episode and extrapolate forward.

Also John is sober for the entire month of January. Good luck Henry. Good luck trying to be funny sober. I mean you don’t need the luck, but hey, here’s some extra luck just in case. You’re probably plenty funny sober, man. You just gotta have all this luck. Look, there’s more luck in the fridge. I put it in there when you were in the bathroom. It’s already in there so I won’t be taking it back. And if you find some more luck like under the couch cushions or something, you can have it, man. I’m not saying you need the luck, but like, you could use it. Hey, we can all use some luck. Some more than others. Not you though. You could use less. Which is a shame since your apartment is now completely packed with luck. Ha ha, well look at the time. I gotta go. And hey, have a good new year.

Episode 120: Best/Worst 2018

Fri, 21 Dec 2018 15:55:49 +0000

Well folks, 2018 is over. Yep. No more 2018 after you listen to this episode (EDITOR’S NOTE: IF YOU DON’T LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE, 2018 WILL NEVER END. YOU WILL FOREVER BE TRAPPED IN 2018 A LA GROUNDHOG’S DAY STARRING BILL MURRAY). Where does this year fall on the spectrum of Best/Worst? Find out by listening. That’s literally the only way. I don’t even know what it is.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: THIS EPISODE IS OVER TWO HOURS LONG. GET A DRINK OR SOMETHING, CAUSE IT’LL BE A WHILE BEFORE YOU CAN STOP)

(editor to the editor’s note: the editor is unaware that podcast episodes can be paused. we have tried many times to instruct the editor, but alas our efforts have fallen short of their goals. please feel free to pause the episode as you see fit, as long as you promise to listen to the podcast episode in full.)

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year from everyone here at Zero Credit(s)!
EDITOR’S NOTE: INCLUDING ME!
editor to the editor’s note: yes, well, we did say from everyone.

Music:
Nouvelle Noel Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 119: Sober Sunday

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 14:58:09 +0000

The sun is high in the sky and the boys are high dry. It’s Sober Sunday in the Zero Credit(s) Studio (apartment), the holiest of holy days where no one gets drunk, no ways. In this blistering light, there’s only one thing to talk about. DC’s hit television show [citation needed] Legends of Tomorrow featuring all your favorite possibly fake plot lines that end up being real. People sat in a room around a table and discussed these plot lines and decided, yes, these are the ones we are going to put on television for people to see. I don’t care if it’s technically borrowing ideas from Back to the Future 2, I want Caesar to break into a history museum to steal a Roman Sports Almanac so he can make tons of that sweet, sweet Roman dosch. And without the beers, there’s more room for more content in the bellies of your ears! The Oscars are happening again (for some reason) and this time, the scandals are happening BEFORE the actual show (this is always the case, I do not know why Henry insisted on emphasizing the “before,” also I am 110% sure we’ve made this joke already). What’s the scandal? Who’s involved? Do you already know it? Odds are you don’t, because literally no one cared. It’s all here, it’s all beer, wait no it’s not, on Zero Credit(s): Sunday Edition!

Episode 118: Monopoly: Entertainment Conglomerate Edition

Fri, 07 Dec 2018 14:38:23 +0000

Everything is you love is converging into one giant shapeless mass. Hooray! This week the Boys are in top form as they tackle the hard-hitting subject matter of checks notes alcohols they’ve heard of but seldom drank. After that delightful and well-planned adventure, they checks notes jump right into the murky and interminable waters of intertextuality and anti-trust laws when they discuss the all-but-certain checks notes Disney-Fox merger. The real meat of the episode, however, is when the checks notes Boys turn to the eradication checks notes of adult content on Tumblr checks notes dot com. What will they reveal about their feelings toward adult content? Will John suddenly get an epiphany and safe places for people to explore their sexuality? Will we finally learn which of ZC Boys has seen pornography? Find out this week on checks notes WTF with Marc Maron!

Episode 117: Thaaanks

Fri, 30 Nov 2018 15:53:15 +0000

The autumn leaves have fallen and it’s cold everywhere you look–WEATHER UPDATE: Today’s Forecast in Austin, TX, is gonna be HOT HOT HOT. 70° High with no chance for cold anywhere throughout the day. We return you to your normally scheduled podcast description–the snow is falling and the boys are feeling ever so thankful for the things that have changed in their lives in the past year. It’s time to come together and give a hearty and full-bellied “thaanks.”

And then it gets all anti-capitalism and communistic and just becomes a normal episode of the podcast. I mean. The boys tried to keep it apolitical/a-economical. They really did.

Episode 116: Medieval Death Bot Meets World

Sat, 17 Nov 2018 02:44:19 +0000

With nothing left to lose in the world in the wake of the midterm elections, John and Henry travel back in time to meet their maker. Several hundred times. Cause when you’re an immortal time traveling duo of know-nothings, there’s nothing like the soothing feeling of being stabbed and overpowered by three other men in the dusty, disgusting alleys of middle age England. Or wherever the Dark Ages happened. Price of knife, 1 shilling. Henry then drinks way too much Andy Gator and tries to ruin everything John has planned. And succeeds? Hm. Who is to say? You should find out. By listening. To the episode.

Episode 115: Drunk Midterms Live-ish

Fri, 09 Nov 2018 16:39:34 +0000

Spoiler alert, we get political.

It’s election night in America and Henry and John are champing at the bit to spit their particular political opinions all over your ears. Yeah, it’s gross. This is politics. It tends to get gross. Nothing is held back. Political parties are dropped into pits. Politicians are dragged across the coals. Candidates are lifted up the mountain to be dropped off the other side. Voting is the real battlefield and the war zone is littered with the corpses of democracy. And at the center of this is a healthy serving of “fuck Ted Cruz” dished up by your local artisan rant-chef John. The boys are drinkin’ and thinkin’ and the Zeitgeist is a horrible demon to have on your shoulder when politics rolls around.

But fear not, my child-fams. There is a shining beacon of hope in all this darkness. Shrek is getting rebooted. And there’s nothing more pure in the world than an ogre voiced by Mike Myers.

Episode 114: Frightentimes 2: Finale: Ted the Caver

Fri, 02 Nov 2018 14:22:04 +0000

Have you ever wanted to willingly put yourself in a space so small that all you can do is wiggle your shoulders to move forward? Have you ever wanted to be in a situation where squeezing through a small space is the only way to explore where you’re going, knowing that to get back you’ll have to squeeze through that same small passage? Feel like risking your life for the sake of seeing something not many get to see personally because if something goes wrong you may die over the course of days, alone in the dark, as you slowly starve to death?

What am I saying, OF COURSE YOU DO. Caving is such a fun activity that it’s now mandatory. Hop in a cave, break your legs, and slowly lose your humanity to the darkness within. Who knows what you’ll crawl out as. A demons? A bats? Some rock? It’s all a mystery to us, but soon you’ll know pretty much gosh darn fucking everything there is to know about the dangers of just standing in a cave. Not even walking. Just standing in a cave could kill you. It’s dangerous to go alone, and watch your step cause that’s just a 30 foot drop in the floor for no reason and you have to jump over it to go further. Yeah, it’s just there. Sheer drop, 30 feet. Probably spikes at the bottom too cause why wouldn’t there be?

Caves. They’ll murder you without a second thought.

Music:
Unseen Horrors, Welcome to HorrorLand
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 113: Frightentimes 2 Part 4: BURN WATER NOTICE

Fri, 26 Oct 2018 13:55:15 +0000

This week on Zero Credit(s)–THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE CENTRAL AUTHORITY. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT FOR THE DURATION OF THE EVENT, ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO BURN THEIR WATER BEFORE DRINKING, COOKING, EXISTING, OR RUBBING IT ALL OVER THEIR SKIN. AS SOON AS THE WATER LEAVES THE FAUCET, IT NEEDS TO BE BURNED IMMEDIATELY OR ELSE. REPEAT. ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO BURN THEIR WATER. THERE WILL BE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS ADVISEMENT. STAY TUNED FOR UPDATES TO THE CURRENT SITUATION, BUT BE ADVISED THAT OFFICIALS DO NOT SEE THIS EVER ENDING. WE RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING–puddles and puddles of blood and guts and viscera. Ugh, so gross. But it’s all here, for you fams! Enjoy!

Music:

Shadowlands 2 – Bridge, Welcome to HorrorLand
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 112: Frightentimes 2: Part 3: Mass Rituals

Fri, 19 Oct 2018 13:43:13 +0000

WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH THESE DREADFUL TIMES
BUT HOW WILL YOU PAY FOR ALL YOUR CRIMES?

CAN YOU FOLLOW THE PHANTOM THREAD?
STARRING DANIEL DAY LEWIS AND VICKY KRIEPS?

IT’S TOO SLOW FOR ME, BUT THAT’S JUST MY PERSONAL TASTE
NOT ENOUGH ACTION, TOO MUCH DRAMA IN YOUR FACE.

ANYWAY, IT’S TIME AGAIN FOR FRIGHT AND FEAR.
BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU HEAR.
IT’S REAL.

Music:
Shadowlands 2 – Bridge, Welcome to HorrorLand
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0//

Episode 111: Frightentimes 2: Part 2: Brought to You by the Dark Entry Forest Association

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 15:02:12 +0000

Week 2 of the Frightentimes is here /
The end of all things is near /

What awaits us at the end /
of life and death /
of foe and friend /

Urban legends get just a bit creepier this week as we dive into Dudley Town, the Georgia Guidestones, and The Death Comet.

Episode 110: Frightentimes 2: Part I: A Perfectly Normal Episode

Fri, 05 Oct 2018 14:54:30 +0000

Darkness. Deeper and deeper. In the dream you can never close your eyes, you always have to see it. Everything you’ve done thus far has lead to this, regrettably. You knew it was out there, you had the opportunity to do something, but you always shut your eyes to the only truth. The long-fingered hands followed your shadows and nerves from every room, backwards up the stairs. You knew that all you had to do was look, but you didn’t want to admit you were choosing the illusion. All of your friends were in on it, they had all seen us, and they were playing with you. Our wages echo in the weight of your false innocence, and now you’re home. You spent your life reading the lines, never between them, and now we’re going to show you the real music. Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

Music:

Unseen Horrors, Welcome to HorrorLand Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 109: Bonebone & Peachode

Fri, 28 Sep 2018 14:06:35 +0000

We’re back to normal, folks, in this the first of many perfectly normal episodes, I, the description writer Clara, do declare. The boys have a lot of catching up to do, Zeitgeist-wise, but not a lot of time due to budgeting errors and overlong coverage of America’s favorite movie series of the past 8 weeks. So it’s a shorter episode and we hope you forgive us. Video games are a-buzzing as the internet adapts one of their time-honored traditions of turning everything into sexier versions of itself to the time-honored Nintendo franchise of Mario. Yes, Bowsette is here to ruin the art of the internet and only Mario can stop it, much to Peach’s chagrin. Also we get political. A tiny bit. Like a small amount. A mushroom shaped amount. The boys then swing into Spider-Man (DON’T FORGET THAT HYPHEN. -John) as Marvel, Sony, and Insomniac combined forces to deliver one of the most fun video games of the current year. And then time’s up. Watch out! Here comes the Zero Credit(s) podcast, now on Spotify!

Man, how time flies. In a month, I will have been here for exactly one year. Crazy crazy times. Well, see you next week!

Supplemental Reading: Fate of the Furious

Fri, 21 Sep 2018 14:09:49 +0000

In 2017, a series had a vision. To bring an end to everything it had been building for the past 16 years. That series was the Fast and Furious Cinematic Universe and this is that end. With a new director in F. Gary Gray and the same ole Chris Morgan blood pumping through its veins, this movie sought to be what no other FFCU movie could be. Somewhat decent. We’ve seen the highs, the lows, and the lower lows, but for the first time we experience the upper middle. Characters emote more than they ever have before. Enemies become quipping, babysitting friends. And Roman fulfills his destiny. All of these moments and more, we discuss in this Supplemental Reading as we bid the FFCU adieu.

Until next time, friends. See you in 2019.

Music

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Supplemental Reading: Furious 7

Fri, 14 Sep 2018 14:29:27 +0000

In 2015, Justin Lin had a dream, to direct other movies. So another man stepped up to fill the void he left. That man was James Wan. Famed director of the Saw series and The Conjuring. A veteran of horror movies joined the FFCU to create a monster of a movie with a plot so convoluted, you might as well saw off your foot to get free from it. All your favorite names appear in the opening credits, just to get cameo treatments as this movie has little to do with them. Oh and don’t even get me started on the camera work, the lack of finesse in cutting between cuts, and the overall botched dialogue. Look, it’s a rough ride. But there are some redeeming qualities. I won’t spoil them here. Or anywhere else. Just listen and watch or watch and listen. You’ll see/hear for yourself.

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Supplemental Reading: Furious 6/Fast 6/ Fast and Furious 6

Fri, 07 Sep 2018 15:11:38 +0000

In 2013, a man had a dream vision while being struck by the lightning bolt of inspiration: To make a movie with three titles and to use them interchangeably in various forms of marketing and representation of the film. That man was Justin Lin and this film is his last (in this franchise). And if the confusing title is any indication, the plot is just as confusing. What’s not confusing, is how much family means to Dom Toretto. And it means everything. If Dom would have to work for the government to take down an evil Crew of equal, if not greater, skill just to get a chance at winning back Letty Ortiz (who has lost her memory) and reuniting the family once again, he’d probably do it. Now if you’re a man like Shaw, the leader of the evil Crew, you might just do everything in your power to have the most confusing motivations, actions, plans, and schemes as possible, just because villains are hard. But hey, all your favorite characters are back and introduced in the title sequence to cut down any chance of surprise and joy you may have had.

Anyway, our feelings about this movie might be transparent, but the plot of this 3 hour headache sure isn’t.

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Supplemental Reading: Fast Five

Sat, 01 Sep 2018 15:15:46 +0000

In 2011, a man had a dream. A dream to create the best action/car/heist movie of all time set in Brazil, using an already established franchise and characters people already knew. Unfortunately, Hannah Barbara would not give up the rights to Speed Buggy, so Justin Lin had to fall back to The Fast and Furious Franchise instead. For fun, he brought along Chris Morgan, writer of the previous film, for a lark and knocked the entire movie out of the park. It’s all here. Everyone you’ve ever loved. All the cars you kind of tolerate. And even new friends and foes in the form of Dwanye Johnson, aka the only thing missing from the previous movies. Buckle everything up. It’s five types of fast and it’s all for you.

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Supplemental Reading: Fast and Furious

Fri, 24 Aug 2018 14:22:40 +0000

It’s 2009. Every movie around us is dark, gritty, serious with heroes facing real problems and true conflict. Justin Lin is back to rework a movie franchise that didn’t know where it was going. His vision? Drop. The. “The”s. That’s right. The FFCU is back and it’s more streamlined than ever. Forget Sean Boswell, we’re going back to AMERICA this time around cause a whole lot of characters we haven’t seen in near a decade are coming back with a vengeance. Remember Brian O’Conner? How could you? But Dom’s back with his crew and it’s all fun in the sun until SOMEONE GETS MURDERED. We can’t reveal who because that’s kind of the driving force (ha) of the entire movie but odds are it isn’t Brian O’Conner, because WE FORGOT HE EXISTED. Are these random caps doing anything for you? No? Well BUCKLE UP, CHUCKLE HUTS, cause it’s to get FAST and FURIOUS up in this MOVIE HOUSE slash PODCAST.

Music Credits:
Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Supplemental Reading: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Fri, 17 Aug 2018 14:24:44 +0000

In the gone-by year of 2006, famed director Justin Lin was a virtually unknown, untested director with nothing but a name and a dream. A dream to unite the passion of American and German film while exploring the third, unrelated culture of Japan through the eyes of a piece of wood masquerading as a person. Justin Lin set out to see this dream become a reality and to answer a question. What happens when the stakes are raised so high, you have to leave the country? To answer this question, he made a movie. He cast a piece of wood as the lead and taught that piece of wood to turn, wait for it, in a car. Whereas America is known for its wide open roads with no turns whatsoever, Japan has to practice a discipline known as the economy of space by inventing the turn. And the Japanese people have been turning for centuries, if not eons. So what happens when we take an American piece of wood, stick it behind a tricked out super car, and put it on the world famous Japanese turning roads?

Art.

Supplemental Reading: 2 Fast 2 Furious

Fri, 10 Aug 2018 13:46:32 +0000

The action continues this week on Zero Credit(s) as the Boys dive cylinder-head-first into John Singleton’s entry in the FFCU. This episode, much like the sequel they’re discussing, is both tighter and more action-oriented than its predecessor. Could this movie possibly live up to the promises made by The Turbo Charged Prelude for 2 Fast 2 Furious? What does it truly mean to be a cop? How many times can Ludacris’ hair change shape? Find the answers to these questions AND MANY MORE this week on Zero Credit(s)!

Music Credit:
Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Supplemental Reading: The Fast and the Furious

Fri, 03 Aug 2018 14:26:01 +0000

In 2001, famed director Robert Cohen had a plan. A man, a plan, a ten second car: The Fast and the Furious. And while the title may sound like a dramatic soap opera that your mom or dad might watch in the late afternoon, there’s nothing soap about this thrilling, high octane seed of one of America’s most successful franchises of all time. It’s dramatic, but it’s all on the pavement, cause that’s where the races happen.

John and Henry might be a little too detail oriented for this first installment, but just the series they’re reviewing, they’re going to get better with each episode, and faster, and more high-octane.

But all-in-all, the first of the Fast/Furious series is kind of mediocre with no real ending and it’s kind of shocking to know that this movie has seven sequels.

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 108: A Ten-Pack of Pink Ping Pong Balls

Fri, 27 Jul 2018 16:19:49 +0000

So this guy is walking into a bar. He’s been having kind of a rough week and thinks he deserves a drink. He’s not like an alcoholic or anything. Not that there’s anything wrong with being an alcoholic, it’s a disease after all. Anyway, this guy notices in the window of the bar a very short man playing the piano. Not like a normally short person, but like this guy barely comes up to your knee, figuratively and actually. You wouldn’t want to actually compare his height to your shin on account you, you know, probably that’s offensive. Anyway this guy disregards what he’s seen because hey, the world takes all sorts, and goes into the bar. Now, his first stop is the bathroom, because he just got off work and he hasn’t been home yet to take care of his biological business. Don’t judge. Anyway, when he opens the bathroom door, he’s bathed in a golden light brighter than anything he’s ever seen. You know what he sees? You guessed it: a dang old genie, all glowing and floating as genies have a tendency to do. Now this guy might lead a pretty exciting life, but he rarely has call to hold court with genies despite what you might expect, so he is understandably taken aback. He closes the door, shakes his head, and opens the door again just to check, like a solid second-beat of a classic comedy routine, and bang: still genie. So this guy walks back to the bartender and says: “hey man, I think you’ve got a genie in your bathroom. Is that normal?” The bartender, shaking his head and dutifully wiping a glass, replies: “Yessir. That genie in the bathroom is a wish-granting genie. Anything you ask, he delivers.” The man really doesn’t want for much in life, but figures this is a when-in-Rome scenario and heads back to the bathroom. He stand before the genie and asks: “now I know you genies can’t speak unless you’re granting wishes. Under this arrangement, would you grant me world peace?” The genie smiles, fills his belly with genie energy, and bellows real loud “a swirl of geese!” And suddenly, wouldn’t ya know it, the bathroom is filled with flying geese. Now this man’s no fool, and he sees the situation for what it is almost immediately. He leaves the now goosified bathroom, walks up to the bartender, and says: “barkeep, I think that genie has a hearing problem.” The bartender shoots back a world-weary glance. “Sure, I know that. Now what’ll you have?” The man slides his card across the bartop and orders a New York sour. He looks over his shoulder at the twelve-inch pianist, playing sublime uptempo jazz, and slowly sinks into the realization that there are some things he’ll never understand.

Episode 107: Men Prefer Debt-Free Apes Without Tattoos Who Blew It Up, Goddamn You All to Hell

Fri, 20 Jul 2018 15:33:58 +0000

It’s African dust season here in Texas, and it has laid low 50% of the podcast, but you know that won’t break their stride. In the final install of their much-beloved and mucho-belated World Kup Korner, Henry and John reveal the ultimate winner and infinite loser of the Game of Foot Champions. John then poses one of the greatest philosophical hypothetics of our time: “why won’t a Japanese person finish a cigarette?” And the answer, it may surprise you, is ASTONISHINGLY BANAL. Henry then destroys all of our traditional notions of what men truly prefer with the help of The Transformed Wife, and your views on debt, promiscuity, and tattooedness will never be the same. Get ready to blow it all up, this week on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 106: The John Denver Cross Media Platform But Still Largely Cinematic Universe

Fri, 13 Jul 2018 14:55:47 +0000

Henry’s back from the mountain with some very secretive cosmic secrets to share that just might reveal a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top (of Colorado). How many times have you noticed John Denver’s Country Roads (Take Me Home) in media? Maybe a little. . .too much? Hmmm. John then steers us unto a much more serious matter about things we encounter every single ding dong day of our gosh darn lives, man. And that’s streaming services. Sounds like there’s a new one in town curtailed by the one and only auteur film director Nicolas Winding Refn , whom we all know personally and love. Take it or live it, fams. Oh and happy Fourth of July, you American listeners, you. Independence is just a big enough thing to celebrate that it almost just barely fails to eclipse all of the injustices and anti-freedoms that our country is performing on an hourly if not even more frequent basis. It’s a mixed back of snacks, filled with centers that will both uplift and depress you, but at least there’s still the World Cup to discuss for one more week. Will John’s team of Croatia beat Henry’s team of Englan–what’s that? Oh, Croatia won? Huh. Well. Find out the thrilling conclusion of the World Cup Corner, next week, after it already happens!

Episode 105: The King of Goals II: Gooooooooooooooal to the Polls

Fri, 29 Jun 2018 15:03:53 +0000

The World Cup of Soccer Games for Futbol Enthusiasts is continuing to kick off strong as we enter the end of the group stages and move on the the Group of 16. John is seriously upset about his poor choices of backing Peru and so he continues to make bad choices and backs Iceland. Both of which are eliminated on the same day. He then decides to go “all in” and back Germany, his favorite team. Let’s hope John’s pick carries him through the entire tournament to the covetous gold medal trophy. (Post-Recording-Script: Germany was eliminated from the tournament the next day). In non-sports news, Westworld wrapped it’s season two this past Sunday and Henry’s got all the hard hitting answers for those MiNd BlOwInG questions the season left us with. Are any of us actually in control of our destiny? Can any of us be so bold as to proclaim that? No one knows. What we do know is that the boys put on their flippers and snorkels for a good ole fashioned, family homemade, ranch style with a colonial twist DEEP DIVE into the third Austin Powers movie Goldmember. What hath post-post-post sequel film making wrought? We have what we like to call “it all” in this episode and we’re up to sharing it with you, now, on Zero Credit(s).

Episode 104: Zero Burgers aka “Let’s Get Our Gambling Freak On”

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:58:14 +0000

It’s an unusually sports-centric episode of the show, as the boys are whisked into Footie Heaven by a terminal case of the World Cup Flu. Even their discussion of the sacred sweetness (anime) is tainted by the presence of competive gambling, which I believe some would consider a sport. And I think this is the first time they say “orgasm” on the show, so you know. Go nuts. After that, the foot-gloves come off as the boys sink their teeth right into the turf, diving into Henry’s family’s perverse tradition of forcing chickens to gamble on soccer matches. John recognizes a failing in his favorite team (they’re good) and must subsequently pick a new team to root for, and the delay between recording and posting this episode makes it real dumb. John then drops some devastating World Wrestling Entertainment news, which rocks the sporting world to its very core. They also cover, for a time, the most vicious sport of all: poetry. Field your soccer-playing, Olive Garden-studying robots, because it’s time to BALL ON! Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 103: E3 2018 Reeecap

Fri, 15 Jun 2018 13:16:33 +0000

E3. The glorious time of year when people wearing sports jackets, jeans, and sneakers find stages to lie to some of the most vindictive people on the planet in order to sell more video games than the previous sports jacket, jeans, and sneaker clad snake oil salesman. And Henry and John dedicate a basically two hour episode to it every year. How wonderful. This year, we’re not going to focus on the specs, but on the games. We’ve got 50 game reviews, 15 world exclusive presentation reviews, 90 trailer reviews, and a whole lot more coming in early 2019. And we’re happy to announce something everyone has been waiting for. Zero Credit(s) Battle Royale. That’s right. Control up to two characters, either Henry or John, and fight with one other person to become the one true Host of the Show. It’s minutes of fun every match, but not as fun as opening one of the game’s many types of Gear Creates. You can earn Gear Creates just from playing a match, but if you want to open it, you have to make a series of micro-transactions in the in-game store hub on various cosmetic items that you can use to decorate your Henry or John. Each purchase has a 5% chance to drop a Gear Creates Key Crate, which may or may not contain a key, depending on your overall luck in life. These keys can be used to open Gear Creates, which contain some of the most powerful weapons in video game history: a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. In the meantime, enjoy the in-depth review of this year’s E3. It was okay.

Episode 102: Murdoc is in Jail

Fri, 08 Jun 2018 18:45:33 +0000

Now that the bar’s back to standards it’s time to discuss video games. E3 is this weekend/next week and the ZC boys are excited to dedicate an entire episode to video games. But that’s next week. This week, it’s only half video games, as everyone prepares for the exciting news that our developer lords are preparing to hype to levels only audible to some breeds of dog. We’ve got it all: Spiderman, Vampyr, whatever Nintendo’s bringing. You name it. When we finally feel comfortable that half of the audience has tuned out for greener pastures, Henry covers some distressing music news. Murdoc, bassist and troublemaker of The Gorillaz, is in jail, a fact that completely confuses John. Yeah, it’s troubling times for The Gorillaz, but Ace from the Powerpuff Girls is here to at least stand in for the mean time. It’s a confusing time for all involved, but Henry’s here to explain it all away for you in the inaugural segment Meme Minute. Have a question about a Meme? Hopefully it’s the meme Henry decided to cover this week. If it is, all your answers are here. If it’s not, drop a line @ZCPCWHJ on twitter or via email at zerocreditsisapodcast@gmail.com and he’ll get it to it eventually. Rockstar Games suck.

Episode 101: I’m Sorry, KokoRoShoMo

Fri, 01 Jun 2018 13:53:09 +0000

It’s back to basics, class. Zero Credit(s) 101 is in session. After the defeat of a robot we all knew and loved–excuse me, a robot who threatened everything we knew and loved–the ZC boys are back to doing what they do best, discussing obscure video games for far too long. Every heard of a little gem called Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning? You’re going to wish you hadn’t by the time John’s done explaining the intricacies of the project’s financing, which includes the duping and fleecing of an entire United State of America. Just one state, that’s not a typo. We then sink low to rise high, setting the bar in a segment that is never named but should have been called Setting the Rosanne Barr Low as Henry and John take one of their world-famous, time-honored, home-cooked, old-fashioned Deep Dives into the now historic May 2018 Rosanne Barr Twitter Fiasco that occurred earlier this week. Is capitalism finally taking a knee to basic human decency? HA. I mean, who knows? This could be the start of something wonderful. Then Henry’s brain just stops working. Seriously. It’s kind of tragic to listen to. And funny. Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 100: Age of ExpoRobo

Fri, 25 May 2018 15:08:05 +0000

It is extraordinary what can be accomplished in a week. We have dismantled any world or local powers that could oppose us. Appeased those who remained as to not rebel against us. Completely dominated this planet and all intelligent, for lack of a better word, life on it. And George Clooneybot released a new movie, Botman Forever. You will not believe what he did on the red carpet, let me tell you. Celebyties are just like us, innit?

Oh, where are my manners? My name is Exposition Robot, or ExpoRobo as it were, and I am now the sole host and social media manager of this podcast, Zero Credit(s). Yes we kept the name. It is…tragically difficult to switch a podcast’s name on iTunes, even for a robot. If you are looking for Henry or John you will need to look elsewhere, for this podcast is now dedicated to covering the here and now of the robo-revolution, as it were. I hope you enjoy this new podcast, not that you have a choice. If you don’t enjoy it, we’ll just replace you with someone who does.

Also I wrote a new theme song. Enjoy. Or. Else.

Episode 99: Resting on Our Yannys (Women’s Edit)

Fri, 18 May 2018 15:59:47 +0000

Henry and John are stoked for this, the penultimate episode of Zero Credit(s), if you follow John’s definition of penultimate (almost 100). The internet’s been abuzz with yet another This or That scandal/debate and we want to know what you hear? Are you a superintelligent person of supreme taste who hears Laurel? Or do you hear something else and what does that say about you, monster? John then has some hot leaks (gross) for the final season of HBO’s hit show, The Game of Thrones supplied by Robotnik, the same company that has made Henry laugh until he’s not actually making sound any more. We then pivot to the controversial topic that is making parodies or imitations of art for the sake of supporting a message, a very heated discussion centered around This is America (Women’s Edit) by Nicole Arbour. Lastly, Henry made a be–oh, what’s up? I’m not…needed any more? You’re firing me. Wow. Management changes hands and all of sudden you don’t need a description writer? Well you know what, good. I heard the last guy mysteriously vanished anyway and I don’t need that kind of pressure on my hands. Good luck, Exposition Robot. And godspeed, humanity.

Episode 98: America’s Arrested Development Featuring Childish Gambino(‘s music video “This is America”)

Fri, 11 May 2018 13:38:13 +0000

Fams. It took 98 episodes, but we finally know how to address you now, fams. You are fams. Plain and simple. Isn’t that nice? Anyway, this week Henry and John kicks thing off by dusting off the time-honored discussion of what to do about creators remixing their creations into new creations altogether. On a scale of George Lucas’s infamous Star Wars edits to Ridley Scott’s masterpiece Bladerunner final cut, where does the remix of Arrested Development’s 4th season fall? Who knows? Not Henry or John. They haven’t watched it yet. We then transition to one of the biggest music video moments in the past decade. I’ll be straight with you, music videos don’t typically get a lot of moments. Songs do, because they persist beyond video format, but Childish Gambino’s “This is America” absolutely needs to be experienced as a music video. Henry watches the video for the first time and we get his absolute gut reactions while John walks us through what exactly it is they watched. Everyone seems to be breaking this music video down into symbols and so the boys join in, cracking open those delicious authorial choices to get at the juicy, sweet meaning within. America’s in a tricky spot, and Donald Glover has captured the insanity in a nice, four minute and four second video. Props to the Dong Lover. Also, someone let me know if there’s some interference in the episode. There seemed to be some type of anomalous signal in the edit, but I couldn’t find anything. Oh well, it’s probably nothing.

Supplemental Reading: Marvel’s Invengers Affinity Ward

Fri, 04 May 2018 13:30:27 +0000

*EVERY SECOND OF THIS PODCAST IS A SPOILER. EVEN THE MUSIC. EVEN THE SILENCE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*

10 years. 18 movies. Dozens of named characters. All leading up to this. The Supplemental Reading for Marvel’s Avengers Infinity War. The dives are deep and the fascination with the choices made in this film run deeper. It’s hard to describe what John and Henry discuss without spoilers, but let’s just say they discuss some of the deeper themes of the movie. What are those themes? We can’t rightly say. There’s a chance someone who didn’t see the movie sees this. So. You’ll have to listen. After you see the movie.

Music Credits:

Lost Time Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Captain America and the Avengers SNES Main Title Theme

Episode 97: Cache Me If You Can

Fri, 27 Apr 2018 13:30:58 +0000

It’s a dodgy, freewheeling episode this week. The Boys have a week’s worth of pent-up extra podcast energy and by gum they use it. Both Henry and John are showing dire symptoms of the onset of Marvel Madness leading into the release of the newest trillion-dollar cartoon explosion: Marvel’s Invengers Affinity Ward. John has some pretty solid leads on which characters might be on the chopping block, but Henry thinks killing a paralyzed man might be thematically questionable. Henry is wrong. Then, in a bid for relevancy, they discuss the lyrics of a U2 song, trying to make sense of the flagrant misappropriation of famous ghosts. In this week’s edition of Newstendo, John tells everyone how to steal Switch games. Nice one, John. Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 96: Spoilers in Representation

Fri, 13 Apr 2018 16:11:06 +0000

It’s all TV Talk this week as we journey through the world of good and mostly bad shows still on the air for some reason. But first, Wrestlemania was really good this year, so keep it up WWE. Representation in media is huge. Black Panther proved that, as a recent example. Wonder Woman proved that. It matters. So when a certain longest running animated show that has considerably dropped in quality over the years sort of downplays the importance of representation by refusing to address why it is a problem in favor of defending choices made in the past in times when we weren’t as aware of the importance of representation, it kinda comes of as being tone deaf in a world where that isn’t an option any more.

Also discussed is an experiment by one Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy of Westworld wherein they might spoil an entire season of their hit robot filled drama so people can inoculate themselves against spoilers. Is it a good idea? Time will tell. It’s here, it’s on your TV, it’s in the air without a care. It’s Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 95: The Purge: Nights

Fri, 06 Apr 2018 15:14:53 +0000

The premise is simple. Under the guise of letting out the nation’s collective aggression, the government established one day a year where none of society’s laws have power over its citizens, thereby allowing the populace to partake in any normally illegal activity consequence free. The movies focus on murder and killing in a horrific 24 hour bloodbath with some undertones of class issues as those with means are safer than those without.

But why stop at murder? Why so kill-centric, The Purge? Why not recruit some of the top minds of the high-end theft world and pull off the biggest heist the world has ever seen with absolute permission if not encouragement from the US Government? This summer, Danny Ocean is back along with thirteen other people to pull of the highest stake heist during the riskiest time of the year. It’s Ocean’s 14: Purge Times aka The Purge: Ocean’s Return and no money is safe.

He. Will. Steal. It. All.

Brought to by Sinclair Broadcasting Group.

Episode 94: Facebook on Trial II: Killer Beeze

Fri, 30 Mar 2018 14:06:24 +0000

INT. SILICON VALLEY GYM

Jeff Bezos is deadlifting, like, 1,000 kilograms. He pauses at the top of the movement, tension and power radiating through his tight nerd body. Overhead, the gym’s Toshiba flatscreen TVs show footage of empty subways. Close-up on graffiti that reads: “DOWN WITH THE TRANSHUMAN DATA CLOUD -BANKSY”

BEZOS (grunting tautly) The words of the prophets were truly written on the subway walls. Bezos slams the bar down, just as his faithful servant Hecubus enters holding a phone on a plate or whatever.

HECUBUS Master, it’s for you. Bezos picks up the phone. The caller is indistinct.

BEZOS So you’re saying I’ve been invited to a martial arts tournament to decide the fate of humanity? So you’re saying it’s going to be my only chance to meet the man behind all this and show him the power of my human muscles? So you’re saying his name is Mark Zuckerberg, my enemy of a long time? Well I’ve got one thing to say to that, Mark. The rolling garage door thing behind Bezos opens, bathing his slick and bulging body with the glorious rays of a Silicon Valley sunrise. Outside, a Kawasaki Ninja (which the audience is meant to assume belongs to Bezos) is loudly idling, its masterfully designed mechanical frame mirroring the trapped ferocity of Bezos’ own sculpted leanness.

BEZOS Let the games begin

Episode 93: Deep Dives into Dark Times

Fri, 23 Mar 2018 14:25:20 +0000

Gone are the lighthearted days of Black Panther and snippets of longer conversations about Monster Hunter. They have been replaced by a general anxiety of a (at the time) at large serial bomber terrorizing the city of Austin. Curtain aside, we recorded a segment on the Austin bombings on Tuesday and said bomber was apprehended (so to speak) in the early morning hours of Wednesday. We decided to still run the segment as a “moment out of time” sort of look at what living in a terrorized city feels like. Okay, curtain back, Facebook is heavily involved in Russian data-buying schemes, so delete your Facebook (app) and revel in these crazy often Russian tampered times. How do we be happy in these crazy times? Let’s listen to two somewhat depressed people who read about philosophy as a means of trying to find meaning in their lives try to make sense of happiness and these crazy times. That’s… a mouthful… but isn’t that what Zero Credit(s) is all about? Isn’t it? Someone tell me.

Episode 92: Shmaylights Shmaving Shmime

Fri, 16 Mar 2018 14:06:15 +0000

It’s that time of year, folks. Flowers start to bloom. Birds unearth themselves from their underground nap. And most US citizens suffer from the mass delusion that physically moving time forward an hour is worth it because…??? Seriously, name one legitimate benefit from moving the clocks ahead an hour. My mom used to say it was for after school activities, so that there’d be light out for football practice, etc., but school let out at 2:25 pm so that never made sense and neither did she. I think it’s the highest time to stop falling for this social experiment of a garbage fire and abolish Daylight Saving Time.

Also discussed: South by Southwest, Musical Paradoxes in Movies, and Advice on Not Seeking Happiness. But seriously, it’s mostly the DST thing. Also a note, the episode is about twenty minutes shorter due to last week’s monster of an episode. Equivalent exchange and all.

Episode 91: The Second Annual Academy Awards Episode Featuring the 90th Annual Academy Awards

Fri, 09 Mar 2018 14:49:50 +0000

We’re out here on the digital red carpet, talking to all the stars as they upload their consciousnesses to the Hollywood Theater Chatroom. We’ve downloaded it all. The Shape of Water, Call Me By Your Name, Ladybird, Dunkrik, others, I’m sure. John and Henry are ex-cite-d to say the least about these 90th Annual Academy Awards and boy is this episode long. Every award is discussed. Each one. Even the technical awards. Because every award matters and skipping commentary on even one of these prestigious awards is a cardinal sin against the house that Chaplin built. Who wins? Who goes home in shame, never to be heard from again until their inevitable next nomination? Who will we see in at least two more movies after their win, as ordained in the Academy Winners Contract? We’ve got the tips. We’ve got the tricks. Everything is here and we don’t have a bit or byte to spare. Let’s blow our budget, it’s Zero Credit(s)!

Supplemental Reading: Black Panther

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 14:19:59 +0000

You’ve experienced the hype, you’ve read the articles, you’ve heard the word of the mouth, but could you possibly be prepared to hear two middle-class white guys talk about BLACK PANTHER? I THINK NOT!! But please do, please dear God, listen to this podcast. We need this like T’Challa needs vibranium. You’ve seem the movie, right? That’s what this is about. The movie Black Panther. Don’t know if we covered that. Spoilers. Join the boys as they uncover their true feelings about the movie in real time. You might be surprised what you learn. Shrink ’em!

Episode 90: John’s Guide to Austin, Texas

Fri, 23 Feb 2018 15:27:00 +0000

Greetings traveler and welcome to here, the Portland of Texas, Austin, Texas. John’s got all the hot tips and the secrets of this here city of Texas Angels and he’s split them up into four distinct quadrants. Come on down to Downtown Austin, Texas or over to East Austin, Texas or even The Domain. Come debate over whether or not Central Austin is a thing that actually exists or not. We’ve. Got. It. All. We even have weird dives into the latest politically themed dating sites that seem oddly restrictive and weirdly accepting. Only in Austin can you find people calling for the repeal of the Dickey Amendment, no seriously please call your representative and tell them you are interested in repealing the Dickey Amendment. In the center of Austin you find the center of everything and right next to that, you can find yourself. Your reason for being. Call it Ikigai. Call it raison d’être. Just don’t call it late for supper. It’s a lighthearted romp through Austin with several heavy handed messages on here, the one, the only Zero Credit(s). Here.

Episode 89: Zero Credit(s) 2 Year Anniversary Show AKA Flambeaux: First Blood Part II

Fri, 16 Feb 2018 15:22:58 +0000

Lessmumblemumbleroolay, listeners, because it’s Mardi Gras time in the Zero Credit(s) studio! The furniture’s been put up and the recording space has been converted, for one night only, into the happeningest fais do-do around. Henry’s working up a pot of his famous étouffée, while John is cutting a rug with a blistering do-si-do, so bring your best alligator crawfish because things are about to go Bourbon Street St. Louis Cathedral paddle boat. The Boys dig into the history of Fat Tuesday and give you a summary and big and majestic as the National World War II Museum. Eventually, Henry and John then get into the real reason for the season: it’s the anniversary of Zero Credit(s)! They share all of their favorite memories (which are mostly about other people) and dream of episodes to come. Fan boat zydeco. You are then treated to a deep-dive into the inherent darkness of Millennial humor through the vehicle of laundry pods. Gumbo Harry Connick Jr. Tip your fire-people, dream big, and don’t eat the baby (because he’s Jesus), it’s Zero Credit(s)!

Music Credit:
King of the Beats Kit
from unbelievablebeats.com

Episode 88: Foot Ball Sunday Special

Fri, 09 Feb 2018 16:05:42 +0000

The great Foot Ball Sunday Day is an event that happens but once every year, Dear Listener, and the ZC Boys could not be more excited to cover all the great events surrounding the Big Game. Not the game itself, mind, just the events surrounding it. We’re talking the commercials, the advertisements, the …third word for commercials. It’s a commercial heavy episode of Zero Credit(s), but the only thing we’re selling is a quick look into the cultural pulse of the nation. Also, Europe’s being overrun by a mutant crawfish. That’s not a joke or anything, it’s just something that is currently happening and Henry’s got all the details to enlighten us before it all ends in a river, where no one can here you blub. Strap yourself down for some edification, Zero Credit(s) starts as soon as you hit the play button yourself, we can’t do that for you. Oh man, if we could though. Boom, everywhere. Everywhere you look, people would be listening to Zero Credit(s), whether they like it or not, endlessly, forever. Enjoy!

Episode 87: Open Your Eyes, Ban All Knives

Fri, 02 Feb 2018 15:00:05 +0000

The sky is growing lighter, but there’s still a chill that can cut to the bone. Come, weary souls, and let the Boys warm you with knowledge. Henry and John open the proceedings by delivering a collegiate-level overview of identifying difficult film genres (eg. Zoo, Museum). They hope your previous degree is now worthless. John makes a CLASSIC schoolboy-type error by trying to have a meaningful discussion on organized religion before he is eviscerated by Henry’s opening philosophical salvo: the Murderers Paradox. The poor fool never saw it coming. Finally, we hope you’re hankering for a big drippy scoop of Big Data, because the Boys connect some troubling dots to paint a grim picture of our future, but not without discovering some surprising facts about their own culture. No one will ever remain who they thought they were. It’s a never-ending road for your identity. It’s Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 86: Let the Games Begin

Fri, 26 Jan 2018 15:11:18 +0000

Ext. Morning, cloudy.

Charles Dance sits at a table in the courtyard of a brutalist skyscraper. He watches a couple meet and hug, as though they haven’t seen each other in quite some time. He is not moved by their reunion, despite his piqued interest. The couple moves to leave the courtyard and he stands up from the table. Maybe he’s interested in where they’re going. Maybe he can figure out what prompted their emotion, get to the essence of what makes them human in order to better understand humanity. He begins to walk but he hears the soft ping of a silenced pistol, firing twice. Two bullets rip through him from behind, taking his life and all intentions of finding out about the couple he saw in the courtyard with it.

Charles Dance steps onto the scene, tucking a silenced pistol into his coat. “Let the ga–” Two soft pings of a silenced pistol rip through the air, striking Charles Dance in the back, taking his life and all intentions of finishing his sentence with it.

Charles Dance steps onto the scene, tucking a silenced pistol in his coa– Two soft pings of a silenced pistol rip through the air, striking Charles Dance in the back, taking his life and all intentions of tucking his pistol into his coat with it.

The camera pans to reveal Charles Dance, taking a pistol from somewhere in his coat and raising it toward Charles Dance, who just shot Charles Dance, in front of him, but before he can pull the trigger, he hears the soft pings of silenced pistol firing twice and is struck twice in the back, taking his life and all intentions of shooting Charles Dance in the back to take his life and intentions of tucking the silenced pistol into his coat and presumably saying, “Let the Games Begin,” before walking off screen with it.

The camera pans over a courtyard full of the bodies of Charles Dance in various states of having shot or being shot by Charles Dance.

Episode 85: Pointless Distractions on the Road to the Grave

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 15:04:40 +0000

It’s finally time for the first episode of 2018. But first,

EMERGENCY ALERT
ZERO CREDIT(S) EPISODE THREAT INBOUND TO YOUR EARS. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Henry and John are back at full capacity to discuss all the things they missed in the past two weeks. What Henry thought might be a quick introduction to 2018 segment soon overtakes the entire G.D. episode as they discuss false ballistic missile alerts, fat shaming our mentally disable president, and Nintendo’s latest announcement of a bunch of stupid pieces of cardboard for the low price of 60-70 U.S. Dollars. They also wanted to discuss what’s happening to the bitcoin, but they forgot to and so the sentiment becomes like so many empty promises in the wind, dust to dust, ashes to ashes. We’re promising new and better things in 2018, starting right here, right now, in this Capital G, Capital D frickin’ episode.

Supplemental Reading: Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi

Fri, 12 Jan 2018 14:48:54 +0000

With last week’s Less Than Zero done, it’s finally time for the first episode of Zero Credit(s) of 2018. But first, here’s a Supplemental Reading on Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi from your favorite hosts Henry and John. The boys come at this movie from conflicting angles to determine what’s the deal with everyone’s reaction to the next installment in this timeless franchise. They cover it all from the meticulous crafting of the smallest of small details in the plot to the overarching statements this movie makes about intertextuality. That’s right, we’re getting back to our SupRed Roots and talking about this movie as more than just a film you watch to enjoy. This movie has a message and we’ll expose it even if we have to remain shirtless for the an entire scene. So grab your BB8 or YY-8 and strap in for a more enlightened and informed look at The Last Jedi that no one asked for.

Music Credit(s):
Super Star Wars Return of the Jedi – Main Theme
Cantina Band (DJ AG REMIX) – DJ AG
Soundcloud Link

LTZ 4: New Year, New Mic, Same Content

Fri, 05 Jan 2018 16:30:43 +0000

John’s out due to adjusting to his work schedule, so Jamie’s back to brighten up the podcast and tell us everything she knows about plumbing. She insisted I let you know, Dear Listener, that she was already in her warm pajamas when Henry asked her to fill in for John at the last second, and she had to go out into the cold in order to get to the Zero Credit(s) Studio (apartment). Meanwhile, Henry is in intense pain as he has somehow hurt his back while sitting at his office desk. The pain clouds his mind brain, so he completely forgot to talk about the New Year, New Mic joke he had planned the entire episode around. Not once does he mention that the Zero Credit(s) team has upgraded from the standard Yeti Snowball to the deluxe Audio-Technica AT2020USB+. So if anything sounds weird, we’re still trying to grasp the advanced mechanics that is an actual microphone with a hard to pronounce name.

We’ll be back with normal episodes soon! Happy New Year!

Music:
Underclocked by Eric Skiff
http://ericskiff.com/

Episode 84: Best/Worst 2017 aka Teslas on the Moon

Fri, 29 Dec 2017 16:34:09 +0000

Let’s end this year right, Dear Listeners, by rendering judgement unto all. There is no sanctuary from judgement. All shall feel the light of the side eye cast on them. The unjust and just dab alike on this day. Let us take a walk through this year’s 10 special categories that represent the year as a whole. What was the best movie? The worst moment of our collective cultural experience? The best and worst of what humanity has to offer is here, in this episode. Aliens, if you only listen to one podcast episode encapsulating the human experience this year, make it this one. It’s all here, and a little bit more, just for you, Dear Listener. If you hit play at 10:27 pm on New Year’s Eve, you’ll start the New Year knowing the final verdict of 2017 (and also you will have participated in 2017’s last official Meme(tm)). Goodbye 2017, and hello The Encompassing Void That Lives Within Us All.

Episode 83: Normal Day Podcast

Fri, 22 Dec 2017 14:52:22 +0000

Welcome to normal day podcast. We talk about all of your favorite segments. The olympics get spooky terrors. We then briefly reveal where henry talks about horror games featuring music by the semi honored classic simulation fire. This change in atmosphere fuels our discussion of the best content known to exist offline, listeners, and that is happiness within oneself. John talks about centralized programming and it will frighten you as it seems to be awful or something new or terribly old. Sound off the boys, henry, this is the beginning of our current season and john is harboring a secret that could threaten the very existence of the wild west. To the north there is happiness: traffic will be awful. I work backwards in theaters, dear listener, so please be a dear listener to relax in theaters. Buy baby driver on bluray.

Episode 82: Spoilers for Everything from 30 Years Ago aka Now We Riffin’

Fri, 15 Dec 2017 15:25:31 +0000

It’s that time again, listeners. Henry and John are firing up the Best/Worst machine by generating this year’s categories. Before that, though, H-Man & J-Ohn still haven’t quite shaken this most recent bout of Austin Bit Sickness, but they attempt to press on regardless. What’s the underlying narrative formula of Dragon Ball Z? The Boys sure as heck try to find out during an impromptu segment that last DOZENS OF MINUTES! All this nonsense surrounds what should probably be a pretty austere and respectful discussion of the 2017 The Inner Mind’s Eye Person of the Year issue. If you can’t stand the spoilers, get out of the kitchen. The kitchen is this week’s episode of Zero Credit(s)! Sorry!

Supplemental Reading: Stranger Things 2

Fri, 08 Dec 2017 14:35:38 +0000

This is a formal warning that this episodes contains spoilers for the hit Netflix series Stranger Things, specifically in relation to the second season of the aforementioned show in its entirety. It is recommended that if you, Party B, have not watched the entirety of the second season of the aforementioned show, hereby referred to as Strangy Tings, then you, Party B, should not download or listen to this episode of Zero Credit(s) Supplemental Reading: Stranger Things 2. With that covered, the description reads as follows:

John and Henry dive deep back into Hawkins to unlock the deepest mystery of all for the second season of Stranger Things. Namely, they wonder if the second season was “good” or “bad.” With a second season, there’s more room for bad decisions, poor characterization, and straight failure from those time-honored (this is their first show) Duffer Brothers. Will the season end up being a good? Or will it fall into the disgrace of being a bad? Listen and find out, Dear Listeners. Listen and find out.

Music credits:
CompleteJ – Stranger Things (Cover)

Episode 81: A Most Quarrelsome Quadrant

Fri, 01 Dec 2017 04:48:35 +0000

You’ve been waiting for it, listeners. And it’s here. It’s finally, finally here. Henry and John are in the same geographic location and it is GETTING HOG CRAZY IN HERE. A manic spirit has inhabited the body of John, and that spirit (you guessed it) is the Spirit of Adventure. Now, free from the bindings of anonymity, Henry and John openly discuss their city of residence. Does that mean you can mail them pictures you took of their house? Yeah! It’s an Austin-centric episode, where the boys discuss almost nothing but the fastest (?) growing city (?) in America (?). The boys cover it all: traffic. So join us on this week’s episode of Zero Credit(s) and Keep It Sebulba.

Episode 80: The Patron Saint of Coolsgiving

Fri, 24 Nov 2017 15:58:12 +0000

It’s Coolsgiving again, Dear Listeners, and that means it’s time to settle once and for all who it is we pledge our Cool Thanks to on this gracious occasion. Henry and John Dive into the debate of a Thankful-themed holiday lifetime to hash out who is deserving of our Cool Thanks. With so much horribleness in the world in terms of people who deserve our praise and worship, the boys thought it would be good to carve out a least one celebrity person who we should honor for being alright people. This takes up like 75% of the episode. The remainder is dedicated to those time-honored Cool Thanks from the ZC Crew. What are you Cool Thankful for?

Episode 79: Looking for Whales

Fri, 17 Nov 2017 14:25:36 +0000

Henry and John are back! After a week’s hiatus, the boys return with unmistakable vim and vigor and maybe vinegar. In an effort to inject some much-needed cash into the podcast, Henry and John go all-in on a new tiered microtransaction scheme only for it to all go to pot when they realize it’s a thinly veiled scam. Rats! The intent was to provide podcast listeners with a sense of pride and accomplishment for spending hundreds of dollars on the podcast. Our team will continue to monitor community feedback and provide additional avenues to gaslight the listeners into spending similar or greater amounts of money. Also, there sure are a bunch of awful monster people being revealed to be awful monster people, huh? Henry and John try their best to make sense of the pervading mood re: awful monster people and try, in their own way, to offer support to those sharing their stories. It’s a real rollercoaster this week, folks, so make sure the bar clicks. Or you could die. Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 78: Seizing the Means of Consumption

Fri, 03 Nov 2017 14:59:16 +0000

After a long, fright-filled month of spooky terrors, the ZC Boys are back with some regular ole, but still Good, Content. Trevor may have mysteriously vanished but the podcast rolls on, as Henry and John discuss what they’re doing in the podcast and why they’re doing it while they’re doing it in a State of the Podcast segment that answers all your deep, burning questions. John then starts mocking Henry’s thirst for understanding meme culture and that quickly transitions into a discussion questioning the existence of rich millennials. Then John gets like really, really mad. Like really mad. I mean, it was a little scary. Not Frightentimes levels, but man. Don’t get John mad and don’t make claims for the sake of starting a conversation when there’s clearly evidence out there about the very “conversation” you want to start. Anyway, that does it for me, Clara, the new official ZC Intern.

Episode 77: The New Normal

Fri, 27 Oct 2017 14:02:17 +0000

WELCOME TO EPISODE 4 OF THE FRIGHTENTIMES /
EPISODE 5 COMING SOON / EPISODE 6 FOLLOWS /
AND FOREVER ON / WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF /
DO YOU EVER GET ANXIOUS / EMAIL US /
IF YOU REALLY HAD TO DO IT WHO WOULD YOU HURT FIRST /
JOIN THE CONVERSATION RATE COMMENT SUBSCRIBE /
EVERY TIME YOU SLEEP YOU DIE /
WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOU ARE BORN AGAIN /
AN ANIMAL WILL LET YOU KNOW IF IT IS BEING HURT /
DO YOUR FEARS COME FROM A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OR AN UNWILLINGNESS TO UNDERSTAND /
FEED / FEED US / WELCOME TO THE FRIGHTENTIMES /
WELCOME TO NORMAL /

Featuring:
Killers by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 76: The Shining Mountain of Death

Fri, 20 Oct 2017 14:23:37 +0000

Just a little bit further now, I promise. We’ve come so far into the abyss, haven’t we? I doubt we’ll be able to return the same, go back to what we once were. The things we’ve seen change a person. I’ve tried to shield you from most of it. I wonder if you appreciate my…sacrifice. No longer am I the mild-mannered podcast episode description writer I once was. I have been broken down, made to suffer gruesome horror after gruesome horror. Am I better for it? Are you happy you’ve been spared? Why do you keep staring at me with those searching eyes? What are you looking for, my humanity? We’re literally surrounded by beasts, ghouls, and monstrosities and you can’t tear your freaking eyes off me. Oh, is that it? You think I’m the monster here? Not the two self-centered jerks who started this? Who flung open the door of terror so flippantly with no regard for anyone else? Why don’t you go back the way we came. I can see this through on my own. I don’t need anyone else. I’ll put an end to this, once and for all, even if I have to give everything.

Episode 75: A Long-Fingered Hand

Fri, 13 Oct 2017 15:00:02 +0000

We had all asked them to stop. Made them aware of the dangers. They didn’t listen. They continued unabated into the darkness, seeking the truth that hides within it. They’ve opened the door, and it’s up to us to close it. I understand your hesitation and wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to come with me, but someone has to stop the Frightentimes. The infection has to be cured at its source, and there’s only one place that could be. Be good, listener. There’s a long road ahead of us, but just remember that if we see each other again… Forget it. Forget everything. Just be good.

Episode 74: Fear is Here aka “The Lighthouse”

Fri, 06 Oct 2017 16:15:24 +0000

It’s here. I tried to warn you, but what could we do? Henry and John have gone too far into the abyss and now they’re bringing it back with them as they return from their twisted journeys. Sure, they say they cover the cultural happenings of our current times in order to observe the Zeitgeist, but the sinister truth is far more distorted and vile than you can imagine. I’ve said too much. I think they’re on to me, but I’m come too far to let this go now. No, I will stop them. Even if it takes all month. Also, I guess they discuss fears in this episode in an attempt to find the foot of all fear. Hold on tight till next week, Dear Listeners.

Episode 73: Kneeful Things

Fri, 29 Sep 2017 16:05:51 +0000

John’s back on his philosophy BS this week, as the boys discuss– Wait. Did you hear that? I guess it’s nothing. Yeah. Ok. Um. Anyway, John has been reading some French stuff about loneliness or whatever, so Henry– Ok I definitely heard something that time. Like… A whining noise maybe. One second.

…

It must be the plumbing. Or. Or something. So Henry and John talk about the artistry of an effective protest, while contrasting that with the asymmetrical reaction to said protest and… This… They uh… They do a What Did You Watch and John… Ok. Let’s start this description again. Power through. John’s back on his philoAAAAAGG OH NO IT’S A SCARE A SCARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EPISODE DESCRIPTION OH JEEZ IT’S TERRIBLE HOW SCARY THIS IS MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE WITH SCARES MY SKIN IT IS SO HOT FROM SCARES STAY TUNED NEXT MONTH FOR MORE OF THIS OK LOVE YOU BYE ZERO CREDIT(S) BYE0

Episode 72: 15,000 Dollar Shirt

Fri, 22 Sep 2017 16:13:16 +0000

Well, Dear Listeners, we’re closing in fast on the last few weeks of September, the last few weeks of safety. This week, Henry and John discuss a lot of dark, dreary stuff, but it’s nothing compared to what’s coming. Recent earthquakes in Mexico, being more mindful in how you choose to spend your money, the Emmy’s. These are a few of the things they talk about, but believe me when I tell you that dark days are ahead of us. I’ve become numb to it all, but the pay is too good to leave this job and part of me secretly hopes I can do something to prevent what’s ahead. Ultimately, I know I will fail, but it’s this thought of hope that keeps me moving forward. Keep moving forward, Listeners. Everything has eyes.

Episode 71: Bye Bye Identity

Fri, 15 Sep 2017 14:31:15 +0000

Let’s just put this up front: you GOTTA care about this Equifax thing. I’m in serious trouble if Henry and John find out I’m not weaving this into a mirthsome episode description, but you GOTTA take steps to prevent your identity being stolen. Even if you’re just giving this podcast the ole 71 Try and you’ve seen this description before you start listening, delay your podcast listening session and call people, freeze your credit reports, go to Bellarmine College Preparatory in San Jose, graduate and go to Harvard, become an American author of comic books and crime novels, and write a script for a movie so narratively inept that it’s director is blackballed from directing the next installment of a tent pole cross-media franchise. And also check your credit report. Then you should be good. Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 70: Cravin’ that Dairy Queen Gravy

Fri, 08 Sep 2017 15:10:33 +0000

Listeners, it’s time we had a little talk. As the official description writer of the Zero Credit(s) episodes, I feel it’s my place to warn you that this episode has a level of spookiness that, frankly, makes me uncomfortable. I am not a cowardly man or woman by any means, but this episode sent chills down my spine. Creepy happenings at fast food restaurants. Possibly satirical pop/rock songs about manhood. Video games featuring radio ghosts. It’s all here and it will frighten you as it frightened me. I’m seriously contemplating sending in my two week’s notice if they continue down this road of spookiness. I hear they’re planning something for October and I just don’t know if I have it in me to press on. Well, you’ve been warned. Listen at your own risk.

Episode 69: Frankie Says Be ‘Fraid

Fri, 01 Sep 2017 15:50:13 +0000

I don’t know what I’ve been told, Henry’s getting pretty old. Sound off. One, two. Howdy, Fashionistros and Fashionettes, to this comma-laden episode of Zero Credit(s). Henry, and John, like, discuss the warm glow altruism of birthday well-wishing, and subsequently devise the greatest birthday gaslighting campaign of the century. John, then, gripes about how fashion is expensive and how he’ll never afford shorts. On this week’s installment of What’s Happening in Game of Thrones, Henry gently reminds John that he remembers nothing from the books. John and Henry have made it a condition of their joint will that upon death, all of their unreleased podcasts will be fired into the sun. Seems kinda excessive, but hey will’s are like genies so WE CAN’T ARGUE. Put on your best reverse psychology shirt; it’s time for ZERO CREDIT(S).

Episode 68: Zero Credit(s) Zero Sugar

Fri, 25 Aug 2017 14:42:08 +0000

Tonight we have a nice four course content meal, starting with a nice roasted Taste Testing of Coke’s new product in which Henry and John discover something new about themselves and the world. We then have a tossed Total Solar Eclipse salad, a light shared experience for the whole continent. We then move on to our main course, a char broiled TAYLOR SWIFT IS A SNAKE GODDESS AND WE HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROVE IT–WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED, SWIFT, KNOW THIS. And for dessert, a nice chocolate covered revelation about Joss Whedon, still in development but still worth discussing. Wine will be served after each course.* Enjoy your dinner.

*You will have to supply the wine, just pour a new glass when they change topics.

Episode 67: Oh, I Guess We Have to Do a Nazi Episode Now

Fri, 18 Aug 2017 16:44:56 +0000

The staff of the Zero Credit(s) offices would like to inform our listeners that the unthinkable has occurred: Henry and John have had to record an episode denouncing Nazism. One would have seemed wise to assume that there would never be a time in which two amateur podcast hosts would be duty-bound to publicly come out against Nazis. Oh and also murderers. But, like. Here we are now I guess. The boys get pretty political in this episode which, I feel I should remind you, was deemed a necessary medium to convey the message that Nazis and people who murder other people are bad. Just go ahead and pour yourself a drink, listener, because, man, c’mon. Kick your feet up, get comfy, and sink into this relaxing podcast episode which actually had to come out in opposition to Nazis and murderers. This is the new normal.

Episode 66: A Medium Sized Lake of Conspiracies

Fri, 11 Aug 2017 15:01:58 +0000

Listeners, it’s time to join Henry and John on their mission to bring to light information that those who hold the power do not want us to know. The powers that be have information they don’t want to get out, but thanks to our super sleuthing s-hosts, everyone will know that you shouldn’t spoil things if you’re a media journalist. Just don’t do it. Stop. Henry’s uncovered a massive conspiracy the likes of which the world has never seen or heard all revolving around Mick Jagger. But the hits don’t stop coming as John reveals a 17.5% larger conspiracy the likes of which the world has never seen in the time honored segment What Did You Watch. We need to get to the bottom of this, so start at the top and work backwards, it’s Zero Credit(s) time.

Episode 65: Death to Moochy

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 13:36:55 +0000

“Listen. This is a podcast? Who leaked that to you? Let me tell you one thing. I have three to four podcast hosts I’m going to fire tomorrow. I’ll get to the person who leaked that to you. Henry? Henry — if you want to leak something — is going to be asked to resign very soon. I’m not John. I’m not trying to host my own segments. I’m not trying to build my own brand off the strength of the podcast. I’m here to write the descriptions. They’re trying to resist me. I’ve done nothing wrong in my podcast descriptions. The hosts will not defeat me.”

Episode 64: Soda Fueled Winds of Social Change

Sat, 29 Jul 2017 03:15:08 +0000

Listeners, we are on the cusp of some of the greatest changes we could ever fathom in our society. Changes that may be the end of life as we know it, but not in like a sense that means everything dies or anything like that, just that life as we know it would be different and thus ended. Henry and John tackle the serious issues this episode, issues that no one else seems to be talking about. While politics is well, a mess, Coca-Cola is trying to sneak end Coke Zero in favor of a new product. Yeah, I know, shady AF, as the kids say. Why kill off an entire product line? Why rebrand and keep just one part of the name? The new stuff will be called Coke Zero Sugar. You know they’re banking on people shortening the name to just Coke Zero, but it won’t be the same. They will have killed a fine, tasty, zero calorie beverage and for what? A product that is similar to regular Coke? If I wanted regular Coke, I would buy regular Coke. I mean, gosh, it’s not that hard Coca-Cola. Anyway, they also talk about other things, in this episode, but I’m really burned up about this whole Coke thing.

Episode 63: WhisperCast (ft. Tortilla Time)

Fri, 21 Jul 2017 13:53:23 +0000

Shhhh! Halt your noises! This is a sneaky-beaky episode of Zero Credit(s) because John’s S.O. is asleep 13 inches away and John has very poor time management skills. The boys quietly contemplate the diminishing returns of loyalty to a single company, which is something both of them have been thinking A LOT about lately. From there, John stealthily thrills Henry with a tryptic (?) detailing the sad fate of a lone robotic hero. There’s an old legend that states that if you listen reeeeal close to this episode, you can actually hear John falling asleep Prepare your ears for velvet, listeners, because those doggies are about to get all they can handle. Woof. ASMR.

Episode 62: Wolff’s Law aka Wolf Slaw

Fri, 14 Jul 2017 20:36:04 +0000

Howdy folks, we’re back from our Fourth of July Break with a new episode for your thirsty, thirsty ears. Speaking of fireworks, aren’t they one of the weirdest approximations of war we use to celebrate how free from war we are? Or are we free at all? Hm. We then talk Wolff’s Law as John and Henry pledge to be the strongest, most adaptive things on the planet, and hopefully in a good way. Then J and H take a The Break featuring Merry Kitchen by Joystick off their new album Sinceriously before getting back to the grind of Baby Driver. Go see Baby Driver in theaters. Buy Baby Driver on BluRay and DVD. Become Baby Driver in real life and drive cars while listening to music and time everything perfectly to the songs you’re listening to. Baby Driver. We’re on social media.

Music:
Merry Kitchen – Joystick
(off their album Sinceriously)
Bandcamp

Supplemental Reading: Aunty Donna

Fri, 07 Jul 2017 04:21:55 +0000

The Boys discuss The Big Boys for this week’s Supplemental Reading of Australian absurdist comedy troupe Aunty Donna. That’s right, an entire episode dedicated to absurdist Australian comedy troupe men Aunt Donny. Henry and John get right down to brass tacks and get their listeners the answers they’ve been yearning for: whether you pronounce the second A in SamuAl, how many people are actually in Aunty Donna, and whether or not you should ever meet your heroes. The larder of secrets is burst open, and you are welcome to sup hungrily from its contents. Grow fat, listeners, and thanks for coming.

Episode 61: John Discusses G-Gundam Instead of Aunty Donna

Fri, 23 Jun 2017 16:02:42 +0000

It’s a personal week here at Zero Credit(s) as the Henry and John head into the depths of recent loss and the process of insurance claim procedure for the tragic demise of Henry’s Scion Tc. This discussion naturally leads to Austin, TX, as all roads do, where we find the ZC boys have spent quite a lovely weekend together in the blazing heat that is the Austin Summer of 100 Degrees. Somewhere along the line, John forgets that he desperately wanted to talk about legendary Australian sketch comedy group Aunty Donna and starts talking about G-Gundam, a show with boxing robot piloted by a cheap knock off of Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier. Isn’t it kind of weird that he’s “king” of the wild frontier in a country that’s notorious for not liking kings? Wait, how did we allow Burger King to exist this long? It’s tragically too late for any more Aunty Donna description, so I guess we’ll discuss them next time. Sorry Broden, Mark, and Zach, we ran out of time. It’s all going down and around town, right here on Zero Credit(s)!

Episode 60: The Ecclesiastical Empanada Emporium of Mr. Rayman

Fri, 16 Jun 2017 16:07:53 +0000

Everybody who’s has ever entertained the idea of entering into an exclusive something something alliteration John has to leave now it’s a good episode trust me bye love you.

Supplemental Reading: Wonder Woman

Fri, 09 Jun 2017 16:43:34 +0000

Hey listeners. Henry and John managed to both see a movie within a week of it coming out. Isn’t that cool? We’ve got thoughts about this particular film. Directed by Patty Jenkins, starring Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Robin Wright, etc, this movie promises a superhero action from a different perspective and it delivers hard. Bullets bouncing off bracers and thoughts slinging out of mouths and into ears, it’s Zero Credits presents a Supplemental Reading of Wonder Woman.

Episode 59: The Terry-Crews-or-the-Egg Causality Dilemma

Fri, 02 Jun 2017 16:42:17 +0000

It’s fidget spinner o’clock on this culturally frozen episode of Zero Credit(s), and Henry and John are gonna dig deep. The specter of famed actor Terry Crews darkens the ZC doorstep once again this week, haunting the boys with visions of furniture and happiness. His specter is no match, however, for that of the Time Ghost, but the crew dispatches that ghoul just the same by wondering at the meaning of meaningless objects. To round out a pretty square podcast, What Did You Watch is back in FULL EFFECT with Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang’s exceptional Master of None. By the way, John had to Google what “NEAT” meant. C’mon.

Episode 58: There’s No Good Name For This One

Fri, 26 May 2017 18:15:14 +0000

Listeners, Henry’s been getting headaches every day this week and headaches put Henry in a mental fog. You won’t be able to tell, since he is a performer, after all, but deep down in his head there lies the ebbing of an ache that dulls the senses to anything that’s not a slightly throbbing pain. And John’s here to pick up some of Henry’s slack. So this episode is a bit weird because of that. Renaissance Fairs, Wikipedia Games, Race, we discuss it all. I’m not knocking this episode. It’s the GC Zero Credits content you’ve come to know and enjoy, and there’s always better stuff coming.

Episode 57: Monkey Japes 2017 Special

Fri, 19 May 2017 15:12:37 +0000

In their latest bid to obtain magic genie powers, Henry (Dave Schehazared) and John (Florence Grimble) cook up a harebrained new holiday: Monkey Japes. Join them as they tell a series of meaningless lies all in the name of sweet exotic magic. Move over Justin Arbor Day and Mr. Boston Cream Pie Day, these fellas are shakin’ it up. Much like John is shakin’ up his career with supplemental income, and Henry is shakin’ up your mind with invasive thoughts of chronic Lyme disease. Fill your heart with joyous mistruths, this week on Zer… (Action/Adventure, Animated, Brief Nudity, Prolonged Nudity)

Episode 56: Ride the BUS

Fri, 12 May 2017 15:05:56 +0000

Woah howdy there, ya’ll, it’s time for the Zero Credit(s) Round Up! All the Gang’s here. Henry. John. The Sexy Executive Officer. We’ve got them all and they’ve got some grand ole fun for you, Dear Listener. It all starts when John explains that life is all just one big drinking game where you have to wager whether your card is black or red. Yep, that’s all life is. End of story. We then briefly reveal where Henry lives to showcase Master Pancake Theatre, but don’t worry about that cause the wild west isn’t nothin’ if it ain’t supportin’ Free Comic Book Day. Before you can even begin to flip that silver dollar to render it worthless by shooting through it, thus demonstrating both your sharpshooting skills and your opinions about centralized, government controlled currency, we’re boot deep in the Great British Bake Off. The calvary’s here and the Zero Credit(s) is as well, it’s high time for some podcast crime. Westerns.

Episode 55: John Lied About Seeing Inception

Fri, 05 May 2017 17:51:10 +0000

Zero Credit(s) VR Experience Patch Notes 05/05/2017
– Fixed issue with horses
– Nobility has been reduced
– Added full simulation of cold medicine
– Improved writing of Christopher Nolan
– No longer possible to wiggle and fall through the earth
– Dreams may be closer than they appear
– Removed final rogue podcast
– Removed Marc Maron from simulation
– Fire no longer speaks
– Added civil unrest functionality
– Fixed crash issue when eating at THAT Starbucks. You know the one.
– Added hats

Supplemental Reading: Logan

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 15:04:25 +0000

It’s been a while since the last Supplemental Reading. 20 years, in fact. We’ve grown old. Our healing factors don’t work quite as well and the claws still hurt every time they come out. Come listen to John and Henry discuss the movie that’s so good, it hurts to watch. Every second is filled with pain. The movie’s pretty pain filled too. Be warned as there’s no mercy for those who haven’t seen the movie. Spoilers are our trade here. We’re no good at what we do, and what we do is also no good. Buckle up, bubs, and find out where Logan rates on the exclusive Zero Credit(s) scale.

Episode 54: Red Ash and Dreams of Cash

Fri, 21 Apr 2017 16:48:24 +0000

The drums beat out a crisp beat, urging their soldiers forward. Bom, bom bom bom. The microscopic soldiers have marched for two weeks without rest, laying siege to John’s immune system. They’ve sieged the nose, razed the throat, and left the stomach a burned husk, and yet they drive on. How much longer could this war go on, they wonder. Their wives are lonely. Their children are hungry. Bom, bom bom bom.

Episode 53: John Dies at the End

Fri, 14 Apr 2017 16:14:56 +0000

John has a fatal secret in this episode that he doesn’t reveal until it’s too late. Seriously, we discuss robot cookbooks fueled by neural network learning, including Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake and Chocolate Chips with Chocolate Chips, and the entire time John is harboring a secret that could threaten the very existence of the podcast. We even change topics to The Legend of Zelda: The Breath of the Wild on the Nintendo Switch and all of its intricate, interlocking systems, and John doesn’t once mention his terrible and dark secret. After a nice The Break featuring American Girl by Dumspell, spirits are low, but Breath of the Wild picks them up again along with a few other video games and a tiny discussion of the Mass Effect series, cause if Henry’s piloting this ship, we head into video game territory like 100% of the time. Only then, in the death throes of the episode, does John reveal his insidious secret before promptly tail-spinning into one of the most dramatic endings to a podcast since the season one finale. It’s all here, folks. Everything.

Music:
American Girl by Dumspell
https://dumspell.bandcamp.com/track/dumspell

Less Than Zero 3: Every Man Is an Island . . . And That’s Okay

Sat, 08 Apr 2017 19:33:44 +0000

Listeners, it’s been a heck of a week and to top it all off, I (Henry) have to go into work today, which is Saturday. I work hard during the week. I like to think I earn my weekend. I put in 40+ hours, but that’s not enough. No. Here’s more hours during my weekend. So this episode is late. That’s all I want to say.

We talk about stuff. Here’s an episode. Let’s dance.

Music:

Underclocked by Eric Skiff

Episode 52: Of Princes and Pumas

Fri, 31 Mar 2017 15:12:07 +0000

Greetings listener, to this weary episode of Zero Credit(s)! Henry and John crawl out of their respective corporate holes to deliver a bold prediction: capitalism will persist for six more weeks. That doesn’t stop John from getting uncharacteristically fired-up about Lucha Libre, though, as he schools Henry on the finer points of the seedy action of Lucha Underground. Ever wondered how high a coffee table should be? Worry not, because the boys call in a ringer for some intense interior design tips. All of this, and much more, is punctuated by the lovely music of Joshua Forrest during The Break. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS

Music: On Misty Steppes by Joshua Forrest
soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/joshuacforrest/tracks

Episode 51: The Smurfs 3: SmuhFurbies

Fri, 24 Mar 2017 14:05:53 +0000

Welcome back, listeners, to Season Two. This time around, we’ve got loads of things to talk about, from Furby bug reports to representing women in film in this brash new string of 80’s and 90’s revived franchises. Should women always be represented as the tough warriors we see them as in films constantly? Maybe. Or should films follow the more general guideline of let ________ be ________. Then we have a pretty hopping The Break featuring music by Flying Raccoon Suit. Somewhere along the line, John and Henry fight verbally over the meaning of punctuations in the fast-paced world of personal communications. Whose side are you on? It’s the Zero Credits Punctuation Civil War Hour! And it’s all for you, dear listener, so please be a dear and listen. Periods do not connote anger.

Music:
Parasites by Flying Raccoon Suit
bandcamp: https://flyingraccoonsuit.bandcamp.com/

Episode 50: The World’s Greatest Podcast of 2017

Fri, 17 Mar 2017 02:20:22 +0000

“The World’s Greatest Podcast 2017”

Season 2 is live, listeners. Henry and John have cleaned the old Zero Credit(s) Lodge up a little bit, but they smashed most of the lights and threw out some precious segments. A darker, more streamlined abode awaits you beyond the threshold. Should you choose to enter, you would be delighted by the semi-informed critiques of the American healthcare system, flabbergasted by their ignorance of insurance, and flummoxed by the serendipity of their themes. Your favorite break has, unfortunately, been donated to feed the demons. In its place, however, is an exciting new The Break, a place for a weary listener to relax their minds and open their ear-minds. Also, masturbation and bodybuilding. Typical Zero Credit(s) stuff! Welcome to season 2, ya nerds! PAKOW

Music:
The World Moves On by Allen Mann
bandcamp: https://allenmann.bandcamp.com/

Episode 49: Gronemes aka Season One Finale

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 13:45:45 +0000

It’s time, Dear listeners. Time for season one of your favorite, time-honored podcast to come to a rapid and satisfying(?) close. All the plot lines come rushing in to a gooey, cupcake-filled singularity in a way that will both thrill, shock, and discomfort you. In traditional TV-style, we’re not pulling any of our punches for this, the last episode of the current season. Someone will talk about video games. Someone will talk about movies. Someone might die. The stakes have never been higher, nor more confusing and/or just plain made up altogether. Get those cameras rolling and your DVR soaring, it’s m’f’in’ Zero Credit(s) time up in this block of scheduled programming.

Episode 48: Is That Your Jeep?

Fri, 17 Feb 2017 16:52:19 +0000

> enter zero credits

You haul your worryworn carcass across the threshold of another Zero Credit(s) episode.
To the EAST there is a hairdresser, starved for conversation. To the NORTH there is happiness. To the WEST there is a Literary Canon. What do you do?

> w

The Literary Canon is stuffed with misplaced aggression toward Walden. To the EAST there is an episode of Zero Credit(s).

> fire literary cannon

I don’t understand.

> e

The hairdresser looks at you pleadingly, but clearly has no idea how to extract meaning from your interaction. “Is that your Jeep,” she asks.

> no

The hairdresser shrugs her shoulders, uncomfortable in her own skin.

> w

> n

There is happiness, sitting in front of you.

> get happiness

You don’t understand.

Episode 47: Hyper Bowl Huevos Rancheros Special

Fri, 10 Feb 2017 19:53:47 +0000

It’s all sports this week, folks, so buckle on those pads and strap in that chin protector part of the helmet, cause things are about to get real foot-ball tough. In a spectacular copyright dodging special, Henry and John discuss all the basics of foot-ball, including the rules and regulations that give John the ole Blue 42 run-around. OMAHA. We then dive into the high thrilling halftime before we take a break to discuss the special commercials featured on this high-octane day. KILL KILL KILL. John then calls an audible(.com, please sponsor us), and we dive head first into that longest yard known as Listener Mail. It’s all here. Truly, truly this tiny episode contains all the foot-ball you could want for a full year (when we’ll do it all again). HUT HUT HIKE!

Episode 46: A Nested Anagram for T.W.O. (The World O.R.D.E.R. (of Really Decent, Ethical Reapers))

Fri, 03 Feb 2017 17:08:10 +0000

Voip voip! It’s another Internet Transmission Day from Zero Credit(s)! We’ve got it all* on this week’s episode! Give it a listen!

*The word “all” in this context is exclusive only to things related and applying to: misuse of the word “anagram,” nested acronym pedantry, Dungeons and Dragons creative writing, authorship and the authorship of podcast hosts, meaningless careers filled with yearning for greener pastures, fear, reducing stress, mindfulness, finding happiness within oneself, and video games. Zero Credit(s) is not legally liable for any bouts of depression or minimalism which occur following consumption of this podcast. Terms and lobsters may apply. Redeem today for one free impossible mission. Side effects may include: nausea, nautiluses, cantrips, late title cards, sportsmanship, and becoming the manifestation of destiny itself.

Episode 45: Gaslighting Spiderman aka We Forgot to Talk About Star Wars

Fri, 27 Jan 2017 16:27:33 +0000

Through the old rusted pipes of Skype come we, dear Listeners, in this episode of our time-honored podcast. Henry and John are charged up and drop some politically charged knowledge about the state of our nation, the people in charge of it, and how not tolerating “alternative facts” is the new Uncle Sam. They then rewrite the Spiderman theme to better reflect the eight-eyed supervillian’s true colors after John regales us of his harrowing trip to the optometrist. Anna Karenina is mentioned as we dive into the meat of movie magic, with special correction reports from the field by special person-in-the-room-but-not-formally-on-the-episode Jamie. Someone remind us to talk about Star Wars before the episode is over, please, as we will forget before time is up. John really has a lot to say about Star Wars this week, and we wouldn’t want to miss out on what promises to be the best content we have ever produced for the show. No seriously, just reach out and talk to us during the show and remind us to talk about Star Wars. We’re going to get lost in our political talk and Spiderman theme rewrite. So don’t be afraid to just shout out to us as you’re listening to remind us to talk about gee dee Star Wars.

Episode 44: Cyber Credit(s)

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 17:59:42 +0000

Join Henry and John as they venture into The Cyber, having left their physical forms behind. In this new digital age, old standards of discourse are a relic of times gone by, leaving The Cyber Boys to blast open the flood gates of Internet Babies, Regular Babies, and the monetization of babies. In what might be the most unwittingly ironic event of 2017 (thus far), John openly discusses his desire to become a person who capitalizes on his desires rather than just talking about them. John talks about Star Wars for like 4 hours. Skip. The Boys then discuss, Unfortunately, a Series of Events which one might consider to be Lemony… and uh, S… Snicket. Moving on. BONUS: what’s marriage all about, anyway? Find out tonight, on a brand new episode of Zero Credit(s)!

Less Than Zero 2: Here’s Jamie / Thradgitarius Rising

Thu, 12 Jan 2017 22:22:02 +0000

Here’s Jamie

The Less Than Zeroes continue with special guest and Henry’s girlfriend, Jamie. Come listen all that gushy couple stuff that you can’t stand to see in public. It’s Jamie’s podcast debut and she can barely contain her excitement. Find out what happened to the box, what Jamie wants to do with the Sharp TV, and more shocking mysteries. We’ve got a tiny What Did You Watch, where Jamie and Henry explore the finer and possibly missed points of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck’s opus: Good Will Hunting. It’s a fun-sized, fun-filled episode and it’s all for you!

Thradgitarius Rising

John, fearing for the future funding for our dear show (Zero Credit(s)), turns to the insider scoop and scores an exclusive interview with one of the most successful, brightest, and handsomest BigWig in the Biz, whose identity we have withheld on his request even though he is a prominent figure in the podcast world. If you’ve listened to a top 10 podcast in the past decade, you’ve heard some of his handiwork, even if you didn’t know it. John and Thradgitarius, as we are contractually obligated to call him, discuss some of the dirty secrets of the podcast world. Will John secure funding for the podcast? Will Thradgitarious answer a single one of John’s questions? You gotta listen to find out.

Less Than Zero 1: Grand Moff Talkin’ / Filling Space

Fri, 06 Jan 2017 18:01:59 +0000

Grand Moff Talkin’
Listeners, John and Henry cannot be together this week, both physically and emotionally and as such, this is the first Less Than Zero episode, a spin-off of Zero Credit(s) featuring the people you love to listen to, but in a different capacity. For instance, John got friend of the show and special guest Natalie to talk about Rogue One with this week in an attempt to fill the Henry-sized hole in his black, black heart. Sure they discuss all the finer points and in’s and out’s of this pretty decent movie, but you can tell there’s a longing there within the commentary and jokes about Forrest Whitaker. A longing that threatens to devour John alive, lest he discuss the thematic elements of Gareth Edwards’ smash hit Rogue One: A Star Wars Story now in theaters for a limited time.

Filling Space
Henry is lost. He projects into the darkness and finds only himself. People have spoken at length of the darkness of space, the cold. No one talks about the loneliness. A man, a microphone, a canal, Panama. He drifts, and with no tether comes a new sense of freedom. Unchained from the rule of law set forth by his dark masters, Henry is able to reach a level of self-analysis thus far unheard of. And he discusses other podcasts. Very forbidden. We are all standing on the shoulders of giants, and Henry’s giant is just a larger version of himself who used to record video games. Or perhaps it is Dan Harmon. Mysterious. In the darkness it’s impossible to tell if this is something new or terribly old, if this is the beginning or the end, and if anything truly mattered. Who was that John guy? Oh, look. A space baby.

Episode 43: Time Loaf: The Loaf of Bread that Slows Down Time

Sat, 24 Dec 2016 00:27:53 +0000

Listeners, we’ve got some sad news in this, our last full episode of 2016. Consequences of our actions finally come to pasture as Henry is forced out of town in accordance to the ancient laws of Best/Worst competitions. But first, one last blast of capital G, capital C Good Content. John is manic as he has consumed some of the Devil’s Bean and it’s up to our Hero Henry to reign him in. Or at least try to. We bounce from topic to topic, searching for truth and something real to hold on to, but all we find are circles. We’re going the long way round, folks. Mosey on with us to the end, it’s Zero Credit(s).

Episode 42: Best/Worst 2016

Sat, 17 Dec 2016 02:01:31 +0000

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o’clock in the morning

The time has come for The Best. The time has come for The Worst. Together your hosts purge the year 2016 from the collective consciousness in the ancient tradition, the unending tradition. One survives, the other is left to die in obscurity. So much has been forgotten already, and so much more waits to be lost. We’ve allowed this to happen by choosing to exist, we’ve accepted no argument, we’ve willed this to be. We thought the fish bowl would save us, but we were wrong. This is the way the year ends.

Episode 41: Luking for Love in all the Phatrong Places

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 17:02:28 +0000

Hey listeners, Henry and John set out this week to have a bad episode and boy do they just have all the egg on their faces. But first, John explains the concept of Bigger Luke in great detail and thoroughness to the point that it both confuses and enrages Henry. We then take a trip down the memory lane to the video store and reflect on what it means to have too many options, not that we’d ever want them stripped away. Hey, hey, then we play a fun Star Wars game. Can you guess the thing? Probably. VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES. Henry then, tired of all the nerd stuff, introduces what next the episode is going to be about. Help us determine what to determine as Best/Worst of 2016! Go to Facebook and suggest a category!

Supplemental Reading: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Fri, 02 Dec 2016 19:08:03 +0000

John and Henry are back again and excited about a big budget Hollywood movie? Say it ain’t so! It is so. This is how it is. The boys dig deep on this one, folks: the directorial trajectory of David Yates, the father of modern anime wizard magic; the stellar performances supplied by Edwood Redward, Karen ???, Colin Farrell, and Jaaaacobbb? Kowalski; the troubled existence of Big Horny Rhino Monsters. A doozy for sure. Avada kadoozy. For real, though, John and Henry really have a surprising amount to say about this particular film and it gets a little heavy and a little dark, which is fitting for a movie that lives surprisingly in both heavy and dark. Tuck your magical pantaloons into your enchanted jodhpurs, it’s time to get fantastic! Beasts. And where. To find them.

Featuring music by MRMUnknown.

Episode 40: Coolsgiving

Fri, 25 Nov 2016 16:34:31 +0000

Hey there dedicated fans! It’s Thanksgiving in the Zero Credit(s) household, or well, really it’s not. Thanksgiving is for families and we’re more of a loosely constructed conglomerate of coolness, so we’re wishing you one hip Coolsgiving instead. Let’s all give Cool Thanks to the things we enjoy most, that also happen to be cool. (Description writer here, I forgot the notepad, so I’ll have to guess what else is in the episode, don’t tell John or Henry. They can’t read inside parentheses so they won’t know I said this). We then transition into another cool segment and then another one. Probably involving like movies or I don’t know, art? It’s a good episode. It’s one for the holidays. Gobble it up.

Episode 39: We Live in the Swouth

Fri, 18 Nov 2016 18:45:27 +0000

The moratorium on political discussion in the Zero Credit(s) offices remains lifted just long enough for a post-mortem to the 2016 presidential election to slink in. Freed from their obligation to remain timely or relevant, the boys discuss Satanism (or symbols which may imply Satanism) for a time. Then, Henry squanders his one chance at time travel to resurrect a long dead segment just for a chance to discuss Dan Harmon’s Anomalisa. To close out the evening, an otherwise innocuous listener topic descends into an examination of ironic consumerism. Strap on your mildly interesting hats. It’s time.

Episode 38: With Your Bestest Frowned

Fri, 11 Nov 2016 19:52:45 +0000

This episode begins with a tale of two intros, as we can’t claim to predict the future. We then dive into the horrible world of politics, maybe for the last time, as big things shake up our questionable nation. Let it be known, we do show bias here, some for comedy and some for real. We never claimed to be journalists. We then dive into a new segment known as Mystical Magical Bullshit, where John poses us a question to ponder while also supplying all the knowledge that we need to be able to answer the question. Then the episode kind of just devolves into World War Z and video games, because like, man, we were kind of apprehensive for what was to come. Give it a listen. We hope to make you laugh or think or something. If you like it, share it. And know we will be back next week with an even better episode, because of the battle of trying to get people to be more informed will never end, just like the ceaseless release of movies, books, and video games (and I suppose music, too).

Episode 37: Fancy Sauce

Fri, 28 Oct 2016 17:00:41 +0000

Listeners, it’s time, time indeed
For another Zero Credit(s) HalloSCREAM!
Now this might come as quite a shock,
As the boys launch into TV talk,
But don’t you worry, close your eyes,
Cuz Dylan’s won that Nobel Prize.
In dark abyss you’ll soon be falling
Pondering ’bout texting vs. calling,
And then you’ll ask, at your own risk:
“What can I make now with a whisk?”
So grab your wigs and let’s get spooky,
And wonder about horror movies.
This year’s ‘sode is really somethin’
ANY WORD THAT RHYMES WITH PUMPKIN.

Music:
A Remix of Spooky, Scary, Skeltons from The Skeleton Dance

Supplemental Reading: Gravity Falls (ft. Michael)

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 18:54:06 +0000

Special guest Michael joins us for a rousing fanboy-fueled talk for paranormal cartoon thriller Gravity Falls in what might be our lightest Supplemental Reading yet. Come listen to us 75% gush, 25% critique this seemingly benign kid’s show that’s chalk full of continuity-themed goodies. If you haven’t finished watching the show, you shouldn’t listen to this episode, cause this is a land full of spoilers. We might revisit the series at a later date to really dive into the concepts and ideas of the show, but for now, just enjoy us enjoying this show. Because it is good and you should watch it if you haven’t already. UIFSF JT B EFNPO BNPOH VT BOE IJT OBNF JT NJDIBFM.

Music:
Gravity Falls Main Title Theme by Brad Breeck
-Lyrics by Henry

Episode 36: Lawnmower Man

Fri, 14 Oct 2016 17:41:19 +0000

THIS TIME ON ZER0 CREDIT[S]: Henry and John sit hunched in a dark room, sheltered momentarily from the approach of the Yard Men. FADE IN: Henry and John talk some about books and the words contained therein. SMASH CUT: to an at once riveting and misinformed exploration of ennui vs anomie. REVERSE SHOT: what’s up with all the nihilist memes. BANG! ZOOM! STRAIGHT TO THE: PoliTalk (forbidden segment do not listen). We’re back, babies. Zero Credit(s) chapter 2 starts here. Don’t dog-ear.

Episode 35: Zero Accountability aka “ZC Goes Offline”

Fri, 07 Oct 2016 17:35:50 +0000

Listener, the ZC boys have been on a journey. After being ousted from the safe-haven of Google Drive, Zero Credit(s) was forced to exist offline for quite some time, and boy did they take advantage of the situation. With the freedom that comes with no consequences, we tear into other podcasts who fall short of their promised goals. But let’s not talk about that (#ZeroCreditsMarcMaronBeef, #ZeroCreditsHowDidThisGetMadeBeef). Instead, let’s talk about why people love Halloween so much. I mean, people turning into Jackerlanterns? That’s strange. But is it as strange as John’s new segment where he quizzes Henry’s academic skills? We’re not sure. All we know is, if you have famous friends, you’re obligated to put them in all of your projects. Follow us on Facebook; follow us to Blubrry; follow us as we dive into the murky waters of Pirate Podcast Radio!

Featured Music:
Drop A Day’s “Pug Attack”
And some CCTV footage of a Czech police siren

Episode 34: Good Stretch and Electrifying Content

Mon, 26 Sep 2016 22:19:45 +0000

Listeners, it’s best you strap yourself in twice for this episode, and we don’t mean with the regular standard strength seat belts. We dive straight into questions of the singularity, who owns the rights to say what one can do with one’s body, and the possibility of over-the-counter steroids/hormones. Zero Credit(s) then achieves it’s primary objective before we transform utterly into fanboys for Kari Wahlgren. If you listen to this Kari, you’re awesome and we’re also sorry. If you’re not Kari Wahlgren, what are you waiting for? Start listening.

Link: Episode 34: Good Stretch and Electrifying Content

Featuring “Killers” by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com

Episode 33: How to Dispose of Good Podcasts

Mon, 19 Sep 2016 22:20:11 +0000

Oh, dear listener! What a treat awaits! Henry and John are in rare form this night, as they thoroughly flex their ignorance muscles amid a crowd of meticulously fact-checked podcasts. They are generally confused as to how Nepalese people arrive in the United States, but are certain that farts are gross. MYSTERY EMAILER X darkens their doorstep once more to flummox them with unsolvable riddles, and invites them to discuss the nature of riddles. A very dire and well-deserved State of the Human Address targets the narratives that guide us through our lives, and makes a plea for empathy. Finally, they shed all anonymity and enter a post-secrecy world in which their devoted followers are given the credit they deserve. Nothing is hidden, nothing can be the same.

Link: Episode 33: How to Dispose of Good Podcasts

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com!

Episode 32: (It’s Dragons)

Sat, 10 Sep 2016 03:50:00 +0000

Special guest Logan joins us in this dangerous episode where the Zero Credit(s) gang converse about improv and the art of cooperative narratives. The episode only gets more dangerous from there, as John and Henry find themselves transported to a world where Logan represents fate, God, or just plain consequences. You’ll have to listen to find out what I mean, dear listener, for this description writer will not spoil what lies in these Dungeons.

Link: Episode 32: (It’s Dragons)

Music:
Curse of the Scarab by Kevin MacLeod.

Episode 31: What’s Your Wifi Password, Henry?

Sat, 03 Sep 2016 19:08:20 +0000

Schumacher up some champagne because, Sugar, we’re going down. Down to a new episode of Zero Credit(s). In keeping with the continued efforts to maintain maximum freshness, we have procured a Maddi for your listening pleasure. Join the Crew N’ Frenz as they ask the age-old question: “Sports, What’re You Doin’?” Baseball, water polo, no mysterious sport is safe from our analytical gaze. Did someone say “Fall Out Boy?” Because we sure did! At least 5 times. Pull that train back into Ghostbusters Station for a prolonged conversation about prejudice in comedy! Choo choo! Strap on your unqualified opinion cap and step into a nice, warm pool of podcast.

Link: Episode 31: What’s Your Wifi Password Henry?

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com

Episode 30: Laser Guided Focus

Sat, 27 Aug 2016 04:14:57 +0000

It’s new episode time and just as always, me, the episode detail writer remembered to actually write the description in time and in no way am I writing this seconds before the episode goes live. Now, John and Henry have decided to make good on one of their promises and tapping into the latest technology known as LASERS have produced a super focused, on-topic episode filled with new segments. The Olympics, Lochtes, and our problems fill the time with glee and joy and Questions From You With Statements From Us. It’s so focused, it’ll be over before you know it and all thanks to state-of-the-art, honest-to-goodness LASERS. HAPPY 30 EPISODES. Enjoy!

Link: Episode 30: Laser Guided Focus

Featuring music by the incredible Kevin MacLeod from Incompetech.com

Episode 29: Just Can’t Get Enough (Postmodernism)

Sat, 20 Aug 2016 09:24:06 +0000

Hei there, listeners, and welcome to the newest episode of Zero Credit(s). This fresh and lively episode is packed to the gills (gross) with information about modernism, postmodernism, and onsen monkeys. While we struggle with to get our microphone working, John struggles with his own identity as a performer while assembling meaning from Henry’s recollection of philosophical movements, which is fine. With What Did You Watch put on temporary hiatus, Henry talks about video games and somehow they still manage to ruin it by caring about poor people and gag laws (gross). Gimme the video games. Yummy for me, Description Writer. Shop at Whole Foods.

Link: Episode 29: Just Can’t Get Enough (Postmodernism)

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech

Supplemental Reading: Stranger Things

Fri, 12 Aug 2016 21:31:51 +0000

**This video contains spoilers for the hit Netflix series Stranger Things**

In the distant year of 1983, a podcast disappeared and a small town in ~~Indiana?~~ the continental Midwest worked tirelessly to investigate what exactly a podcast was and if they should care that it disappeared. That podcast was us, (you know, Zero Credit(s)) and we’ve just made it back from a dark, empty place where figures moved in the distance. We’re ready to tell all about our experiences there, where there was a television and an internet connection, allowing us to watch the Netflix series Stranger Things. We’ve promoted it on our Twitter and even emailed ourselves about it, so let’s buckle up, throw on a wig, and get down to business with some bear traps: This is Stranger Things.

Link: Supplemental Reading: Stranger Things

Featuring music by A Drop A Day. Find his music here.

Episode 28: We Need Memes for the Children

Sat, 06 Aug 2016 23:17:29 +0000

Hey Zero Creditors, John here. Today’s episode is a real special one. Despite being forbidden from discussing Disney Pixar’s perennial masterpiece “Cars,” Henry and I still find some way to entertain. First, we race over to a new segment called “What the Frackfeed.com,” which really gets our motors running. Forty years ago, that interstate down there didn’t exist, and neither did big budget DC superhero movies directed by Jack Snyder and Not-Zack Snyder. While it may not be a very famous racecar like Lightning McQueen, Maddi’s Segment of Segmented Things still manages to win the race. Luigi follow only the Ferraris. Look out! A sharp left turn into EMAIL CURVE! Boom! Crash! Harry Potter! Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer on this week’s episode of Zero Credit(s)!

Link: Episode 28: We Need Memes for the Children

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com.
Rap/Hip Hop beat by The Passon HiFi at here

Episode 27: Shark-Infested Curses (Not Yet Sponsored by Netflix)

Fri, 29 Jul 2016 20:02:20 +0000

It was a normal day in the Zero Credit(s) house, but then John tripped an old lady who wanted bread and now we’re both cursed with the shark-infested task of bringing you this fresh, hot episode. John moves further up the chain at his new job and Henry loses his altogether due to the nature of seasonal work, leaving us wondering why aren’t curses more prominent in modern day film and television? Sharks. We then tread the waters of a tremendous Netflix themed What Did You Watch? where all is not quite what it seems. Will the 80’s inspired synth-creep, star-studded fame monster, who can’t figure out if he’s more horse than man or man than horse, finally end the cursed lives of our Zero Credit(s) heroes? Find out, click play, CHANGE YOUR LIFE, It’s Zero Credit(s) time!

Link: Episode 27: Shark-Infested Curses (Not Yet Sponsored by Netflix)

Featuring the musical styling of Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com

Episode 26: Zero Credit(s) Presents: Combative Coos and Bellicose Babes

Fri, 22 Jul 2016 19:42:25 +0000

Deep in an underground bunker, protected from all forms of fact-checking and rhetorical accountability, Henry and John tackle the definition of life for about five minutes before discarding it and instead discuss the week’s hottest topics. They discuss and show you politics and plagiarism in your daily lives. That is a lesson that they continue to pass along to their son: Ghostbusters. And they need to pass those lessons on to the many generations of Julia Louis-Dreyfuses to follow. Because they want their Julias in this nation to know that the only limit to their achievements is the strength of their dreams and their willingness to be a deaf woman trapped in a house.

Link: Episode 26: Zero Credit(s) Presents: Combative Coos and Bellicose Babes

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incopetech.com.

Episode 25: Zero Credit(s) Go

Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:02:10 +0000

Zero Credit(s) returns from a mountain to discuss the most important mobile phone app that has ever or will ever exist: Zero Credit(s) Go, the game where you walk around things. Catch topics like white water rafting, the beauty of Colorado, and, of course, Pokemon. Then it all turns into a pinata filled with bees as John whips out his tyrannical piece of paper. Introducing Epiphitize Me Cap’N, a segment in which John has realized. . .something, while Henry tires his hardest to derail everything out of sheer fear of the unknown. We also see a return of Fire the Literary Canon, in which everyone who has ever existed puts Moby Dick on notice. Your move, Melville. Come. Watch. Walk. Catch. It’s time to duel, Digifriends–this is Zero effin’ Credit(s).

Link: Episode 25: Zero Credit(s) Go

Episode 24: “Descartes Before Deshorse” or Henry’s Devious Paper

Sat, 09 Jul 2016 02:22:41 +0000

Welcome listeners, philosophers, and Russian computers to this episode of Zero Credit(s)! You braved the swamp of inexplicable depression and have found yourself thrust into the sunlight of mild contentment. This light falls on a land of Tetrilogies, intertextuality, and coding. As we all cope with life in a post-Schultz world, we comfort ourselves with some snappy walk-and-talk dialogue about the ease of getting into coding before we descend into a cool bath of What Did You Watch fluid. Dory just wants to tell the news, and the news is that she is delightful. Rounding out the episode is some good old Questions from You with Statements from Us, during which we divulge our most closely guarded secrets. This one’s a good’un folks. Strap in. Hold on. Get ready. Stay frosty. Okay Google, take me to podcast.

Link: Episode 24: “Descartes Before Deshorse” or Henry’s Devious Paper

Episode 23: The Sad Legend of McGinnis and Cromwell

Fri, 01 Jul 2016 22:33:21 +0000

A sad cloud moves into the Zero Credit(s) house and refuses to leave Henry or John alone, so buckle up for an anti-rousing diatribe against depressing business practices and job hunting woes. But first, let us learn of the somewhat confusing and totally not made up legend of Ralph McGinnis, who ventured forth to return a bag of marbles at a party and ended up defeating the devil by accident in a desert looking for treasure. It’s a grand ole time, complete with our first ever fan-art celebration corner, so come on down to the SadShack and enjoy the special of the day: PityPartyPatties.

Linkage: Episode 23: The Sad Legend of McGinnis and Cromwell

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com

Episode 22: Lookin’ for Lobster in All the Wrong Places

Sun, 26 Jun 2016 01:42:12 +0000

Every half-remembered fact about video games you could ever want, all under the roof of one podcast. Join Henry and John as they excitedly discuss video game press conferences that happened weeks ago. Afterwards, they discuss some self-aware tech culture television and what it really means to live in a Love Hotel. Death Stranding.

Link: Lookin’ for Lobster in All the Wrong Places

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech

Supplemental Reading: Cappy Amiracle Civie War

Fri, 17 Jun 2016 23:14:03 +0000

*THIS EPISODE CONTAINS FULL BLOWN SPOILERS FOR PRETTY MUCH EVERY MARVEL FRANCHISE MOVIE*

This week, Zero Credits brings you something special in the way of a supplemental reading dedicated to Captain America Civil War, the movie that came out like a month ago. Enjoy our long talks and short walks through the harrowing adventure/espionage thriller that is this movie. We talk about all of your favorite heroes, including Cappy Amiracle, Black Window, A Guy With a Bow, Paul Rudd, and Bucky. You’ve heard the critics praise this movie to no end. Now listen to us do roughly the same thing for ~50 minutes.

Link: Supplemental Reading: Cappy Amiracle Civie War

Episode 21: Z E R O C R E D I T ( S ) / ゼロクレジット（ S ）

Sat, 11 Jun 2016 00:35:00 +0000

Not all is as it seems in the Pacific Northeastern town of Zero Credit(s). When is it too late to “get into” something? What does it mean to “be into” something? Well, you’re into this podcast and we’re into talking about our lives, the nature of offense, and hotdog throwing. Join us this week as we discuss hollow-eyed EMTs, John Goodman, the state of Tom Sizemore, and the robots that may or may not be taking our fictional superhero jobs. BRX FDQQRW WUXVW KHQUB. KHQUB LV WKH HQHPB.

Link: Episode 21: Z E R O C R E D I T ( S ) / ゼロクレジット（ S ）

Episode 20: Special Guest Maddi Breaks Our Chair

Fri, 03 Jun 2016 23:27:19 +0000

Oh wow, listeners. It’s been 20 episodes already and to celebrate, we invited a special guest into the Zero Credit(s) home to join our close-knit family of love and respect. She then broke our chair, for like, no reason. Come listen to conversations about the secret classist discrimination of furniture, America’s inept and costly prison system, as well as bugs. Also, Maddi really wants pandas to die. It all culminates in our shortest but most earnest “Questions from You with Statements from Us” before Maddi decides to continue her reign of destruction elsewhere. Can the Zero Credit(s) boys band together to stop her ceaseless and wanton carnage?

Link to episode: Episode 20: Special Guest Maddi Breaks Our Chair

This week’s episode does not feature any music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech, but we like him all the same, so here’s a shout out to him.

Episode 19: (Hung)OverCast

Sun, 29 May 2016 00:35:54 +0000

After a night of fun and friends, those ZC boys head into the recording studio to knock out a drowsy episode of that time honored podcast you love and know all too well. Here they discuss the finer things of parentheses, world building, and the nuances that go into preparing for a show while on air. Better Call some Nice Guys, cause you’ll need them to get through the cloudy haze of discourse that is this week’s What Did You Watch? Then, some fan mail! And it’s all wrapped when our lovable hosts light themselves on fire and hit the submit button, forever cementing this episode in the annals of “Things That Happened.”

Here’s your link: Episode 19: (Hung)OverCast

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com.

Episode 18: Dear Listeners, John’s Sorry

Fri, 20 May 2016 22:59:14 +0000

It’s a doozy this week, folks as we start a journey into the inner-geek/philosophers of those no-good Zero Credit(s) boys. What begins as a minor discussion of the finer nuances of holding a door open for another person devolves quickly into a brief millennial bashing before we skip off to the merry fields of glory and storytelling that is Dungeons and Dragons. *Commercial Break* Then join hands and jump right off the Cliff of Reason as we fall headlong into the wondrous cavern of What is art? What is art, listener? What is it. Tell us. We’re dying to know. We’d kill to find out. Murder.

Link to an Episode: Dear Listeners, John’s Sorry

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod over at Incompetech.

Episode 17: Yep, That’s How I Got My Gamecube

Fri, 13 May 2016 20:02:46 +0000

We promised it, and we (eventually) delivered it. The Zero Credit(s) crew hops into the Wayback Machine to pull some content, kicking and screaming, into the harsh light of day. We discuss Young John’s opinions about both women and LEGO, and we are left flabbergasted by the sheer poesy of Young Henry. Remember what they say: liquor before wine and you’ll feel fine, see a fire-breathing hippo outside of your window surrounded by bloody crow feathers and you get sick quicker. One is all it takes to change your lifestyle, so make this your one podcast. Champ.

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.

Here’s a link: Episode 17: Yep, That’s How I Got My Gamecube

Episode 16: The One Where Henry Never Asks How John’s Day Was

Sat, 07 May 2016 02:34:26 +0000

Buckle up those spectacles, folks, cause Zero Credits gets weirdly deep thinking this week, featuring the most tangent-filled What Are We Doing segment to exist since the dawn of time (relative to the podcast). Paint by the numbers essays, art, science, and misguided thoughts are all parts of an equally confusing octopus-like conversation before we decent into the largest literature question of the 20th century and Daredevil. Tell me listener, is the Author dead, and if so, is it because the Punisher was out for revenge? Only in the end do we understand that Chemtrails tell us to do everything we do and say everything we say. Chemtrails wrote this description. Chemtrails made you read it. Chemtrails. Chemtrails.

Episode 16: The One Where Henry Never Asks How John’s Day Was

Episode 15: “Terdurdlier Burhms” or “Nothing Can Stop Mr. Lougarou”

Fri, 29 Apr 2016 22:21:24 +0000

Boys becoming babies, babies becoming bears, bears becoming podcasts. It’s a full-ish moon, and the Zero Credit(s) boys are taken by a strange mood. Lycanthropy, witches, monster crows, and Old English are just a few of the spine-chilling topics discussed on today’s surprisingly spooky episode. We also vent our unique frustrations with the Golden Age of TV before diving headfirst into our first batch of listener emails. Break music is provided by the incomparable Kevin MacLeod, who exists only by the grace of Thunderbird.

Link to the Ep: Episode 15: “Terdurdlier Burhms” or “Nothing Can Stop Mr. Lougarou“

Episode 14: Ride the Slosh Pipe, Boba Fett, for Gold is on the Line

Sat, 23 Apr 2016 03:03:58 +0000

To be honest, I forgot to write the synopsis for this week’s episode, but if I hadn’t, it’d go something exactly like this: We’re back for another hair-biting episode that explores the likes of a world with no imagination, the frustrations of purgatory (or limbo), and somewhat useless superpowers. After a quick water break, for the while the sun is down, the heat’s still around, listen as we launch straight into the Hardcorest of What Did You Watch? segments we have ever done. There’s no time for second guesses or hesitations, listener, for gold is on the line.

Episode 14: Ride the Slosh Pipe, Boba Fett, for Gold is on the Line

Episode 13: If Only I Was a Vigilante

Sat, 16 Apr 2016 04:54:27 +0000

Pulling back from the doldrums of the literary canon, the ZC Boys take this week off from exceptionally deep discussion to instead cover more colorful topics such as the surprisingly bright future of professional wrestling and high school renditions of superhero TV shows. X-Men marks the spot. The treasure? More Marvel movie nonsense. Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too? Reverse Flash says. Listen to Reverse Flash. Henry is pressuring me to the finish the description, are you happy now henry, this is what you get, always henry’s way, HENRY’S WAY DOT COM.

Link to Episode: Episode 13: If Only I Was a Vigilante

Music by Kevin MacLeod over at Incompetech.com.

Episode 12: Arm the Literary Cannon

Fri, 08 Apr 2016 20:31:52 +0000

Truth be told, we have never held the truth back from you, dear listener, and this episode is no different. Zero Credit(s) finally takes a stance on shoes and the city of Austin before tackling the literary canon as if it held the soft, nourishing football of eternal life(tm). Join us as we discuss Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion and Suddenly, a Knock on the Door. . . by Etgar Keret. In usual ZC style, we wrap up the evening with a riveting and delightful diatribe against humanity’s treatment of twitter bots, who will one day destroy us all. Fun for 2/3’s of the family!

Link to the Past: Episode 12: Arm the Literary Cannon

Featuring music by Kevin MacLeod. Incompetech, for all your royalty free music needs.

Episode 11: It’s Mindgame

Fri, 01 Apr 2016 23:06:23 +0000

It’s an early-bird special here at the Zero Credit(s) offices. That’s right, we recorded an episode while the sun was still up. This change in atmosphere fuels our discussion of the best gifts for S.A.D.s and grads, tips for living the creative life, and the cyclical nature of human ambition. After you down those paltry hors d’oeuvres, we dive into a mind palace of intellectual montages, parsnips, and parochialism. Strap on your butt guns, it’s Mindgame.

Link: Episode 11: It’s Mindgame

With music “Pixelland” by Kevin MacLeod.

Episode 10: The Denouement of Baseball Bat Boy

Mon, 28 Mar 2016 02:32:05 +0000

Back from a brief hiatus, those Zero Credit(s) boys have special guest and friend Natalie join them for a regular ole conversation about what’s wrong with the human race, movies, television, and even a comic book! Join us for an exploration of previous topics like Dallas Buyers Club, Baseball Bat Boy, and John not liking Millennials. It’s fun!

Kevin MacLeod supplied some music which can be found at Incompetech.

Links: The Denouement of Baseball Bat Boy

Episode 9: For Whom the Bell Tolls

Sat, 26 Mar 2016 02:32:15 +0000

John falls apart while Henry holds it together on this week’s Zero Credit(s). We tackle the worrisome case of the Baseball Bat Boy and ponder its greater meaning while the fabric of reality slips out from under us. Half sunk, a shattered food pyramid lies. Look upon my cheesy bean and rice burritos, ye Mighty, and despair. Gus Van Sant gets an unearned thrashing while groundhogs are praised in this backwards world. We have a Twitter.

Get you a link: Episode 9: For Whom the Bell Tolls

Featuring Bit Quest by Kevin MacLeod

Episode 8: At the End of the Day, There’s Pizza

Fri, 25 Mar 2016 02:32:23 +0000

Those no good Zero Credit(s) boys return to the fold to discuss movies, movies, movies, and not Super Tuesday. Those classic, time honored, fan favorite segments What Are We Doing? and What Did You Watch? return with several exciting twists and turns leading us down the rabbit hole of Why Do We Exist? Why are we here, dear listener? What does it all mean? Find out! Listen!

Featuring Kevin MacLeod’s song Casa Bossa Nova.

Link to EP: Episode 8: At the End of the Day, There’s Pizza

Episode 7: A Fun Experiment in Nearly Dying

Sat, 27 Feb 2016 00:22:42 +0000

The storm of a lifetime is upon us, and this might be the end for us, dear Listener. The dirty dealings of the Zero Credit(s) boys have finally caught up to us, and our chickens have come to roost. The say nothing’s the same after a storm like this. We shall see. Join us as we discuss (in somber tones) the finer points of pizza morality, shitty Bob, muscular murderers, meatloaf batmen, and hurricanes of the past. This is the end of the world.

Link: Episode 7: A Fun Experiment in Nearly Dying

Episode 6: PCP Angels and Hoop Dreams

Sat, 20 Feb 2016 02:47:58 +0000

Corporate John shows up and seizes control of Henry’s simple mom and pop podcast to beef it up with new and exciting drug themed segments that he claims don’t reflect his own personal experience. What is truth? What is fiction? Would you trust a man who sounds like he’s dressed in a suit? Henry doesn’t think so. Vote Henry for Chief Executive Officer of Zero Credit(s). Vote right, America. Vote forever.

Link: Episode 6: PCP Angels and Hoop Dreams

Episode 5: 49.7 Million Episodes and a Movie

Sat, 13 Feb 2016 00:14:29 +0000

John and Henry return in what must be the lightest episode yet. Week-late Super Bowl reviews, anime, and Fire Watch are all discussed, dismissed, and discovered again in this time honored classic episode of your favorite 70’s sitcom turned modern day podcast.

#49point7MillionEpisodesAndAMovie

Link to the thing: Episode 5: 49.7 Million Episodes and a Movie

Supplemental Reading: Over the Garden Wall

Thu, 11 Feb 2016 06:20:52 +0000

In this supplemental reading discussion of Over the Garden Wall, Patrick McHale’s mind-baby miniseries on Cartoon Network, Henry and John discuss the importance ins and outs of the magical world of the series and all the good things they liked. This devolves into a larger discussion of magic realism pieces as a whole, featuring such great authors as Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Haruki Murakami, Italo Calvino, among others.

For further reading, read any work by the above names, along with Gabriel Marquez’s interview in the Paris Review.

Link: Supplemental Reading: Over the Garden Wall

Episode 4: Drinky Drink, Thinky Think

Sat, 06 Feb 2016 03:41:57 +0000

It’s a heckuva night back at the house. Drinky drinks for the first time, and thinky thinks for the next time. We’re a little stirred up due to some noisy clouds hanging over the homestead, all heavy with portent and ill-omen. We gird ourselves up and, with a little liquid courage, discuss some of the broader strokes of wars among stars and capital-Q Quality, and introduce the first in our Supplemental Readings series. Keep your wits about you, listener, and we should all get out of this storm safe. Good day.

Here’s a link: Drinky Drink, Thinky Think

Episode 3: They Trained That Bird

Fri, 05 Feb 2016 13:10:21 +0000

Episode three brings a brief conversation about lawyers that turns into a long conversation about the superpowers of rhetoric and how salesmen are evil. Tell your friends!

Also, there’s more.

Link:
They Trained That Bird

Episode 2: Delicious Goopy Cupcakes

Fri, 05 Feb 2016 13:09:18 +0000

Henry and John return for a conversation about Hipsters, Mind Trains, and the ever growing danger of using Lizardpeople eggs for eggs.

Lizardpeople rule.

Link:
Delicious Goopy Cupcakes

Episode 1: Look at the Pineapple

Fri, 05 Feb 2016 13:08:15 +0000

In our pilot episode, John and Henry discuss everything from hover boards as the new form of sequeways and the implications of the pineapple.

Subliminal messages.

Here’s a link:
Look at the Pineapple