Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Challenging Defenses: An Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTS): (246)

Wed, 25 Sep 2024 01:04:53 +0000

Exploring the science behind the complex acronyms

Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley discuss Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTs) with experts Margaret Martin and Dr. Deb Pollack. These therapies focus on recognizing and challenging defenses that lead to problems both internally and relationally. Learn the difference between defenses that feel right (Egosyntonic) and those that don’t (Egodystonic) and why it’s important to work against them for change. This episode is a dive into the role of EDTS in individual therapy, and highlights the need for an integrated approach to address underlying trauma, plus much more!

“Turning against defenses is key to creating change.” – Dr. Deborah Pollack

Time Stamps for Challenging Defenses: An Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTS)

00:00 Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies
04:07 Understanding Defenses and Creating Change
08:19 Turning Against Defenses
13:49 Building Capacity and Accessing Core Feelings
20:05 Working with Resistance and Anxiety
23:49 Exploring Different Models within EDTs
29:22 Understanding and Working with Defenses
36:14 Building Capacity and Regulating Emotions
39:05 Challenging Defenses and Facilitating Character Change
45:04 Integrating Modalities for Comprehensive Healing
48:31 The Role of the Therapist in Addressing Defenses
54:49 Compassionate and Supportive Therapeutic Relationships

About our Guests – Dr. Deborah Pollack & Margaret Martin, LCSW

Dr. Deborah Pollack is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Utica University and a clinical
psychologist in private practice near Syracuse, New York. She also has faculty appointments at SUNY Upstate Medical University and Syracuse University, where she teaches and supervises doctoral students in psychology. Dr. Pollack is active on the board of the International Experiential Dynamic Therapy Association (IEDTA), serving as recording secretary and on several
standing committees. She is the President-elect of the Central New York Psychological Association. Dr. Pollack is a qualitative researcher and most recently has investigated the application of EDT-informed therapy for mothers with postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. She has been studying the EDTs since 2009 and is certified as a Teacher and Supervisor through the IEDTA. She is currently running a core training in ISTDP and she also offers individual supervision in ISTDP for licensed or license-eligible therapists. In her free time, Deb enjoys traveling, sewing, and hiking, especially in the Adirondack
mountains where she is working on hiking all 46 high peaks.

Margaret Martin, LCSW is an individual and couple therapist practicing in Austin, Texas,
where she specializes in complex trauma. She began training with Stan Tatkin,
developer of the PACT model, in 2012. She now coaches PACT level one and two students and provides training for the PACT Institute, and hosts a monthly online discussion group for PACT and PACT-curious therapists. In 2022 Margaret completed the PACT Institute’s inaugural invitation-only certification program and is one of 25 therapists worldwide to receive the designation of PACT-certified therapist. In 2019 she began training in ISTDP and developed a passion for incorporating aspects of ISTDP into her work with couples. With colleague Kathryn Barksdale, Margaret co-developed Trauma Wise Therapy, a framework for working with high-trauma couples. Margaret active on the board of the International Experiential Dynamic Therapy Association (IEDTA) and chairs the IEDTA Diversity Committee. A self-described training junkie, she also trained in Somatic Experiencing, Eye Movement
Desensitization Reprocessing, Emotional Transformation Therapy, Brainspotting, and Accelerated Resolution Therapy. She is slightly fanatic about trauma-informed care, deliberate practice for therapists, cats, and fiber arts of any kind.

Resources for this Episode – Challenging Defenses: An Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTS)

Margaret Martin, LCSW – Margaret Martin’s website

Deborah Pollack, PhD – Dr. Deborah Pollack’s website

Check out the most anticipated conference for Experiential Dynamic Therapists!! San Diego, CA – November 13th-15th – IEDTA’s 2024 conference highlights the power of the therapeutic alliance in psychotherapy. Register here!

IEDTA Certified Training – Info on training in Experiential Dynamic Therapies

Application to join the EDT List

Additional resources on ISTDP and Experiential Dynamic Therapies

Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy by Patricia Coughlin – Recommended by Margaret Martin

Reaching Through Resistance by Allan Abbass – Recommended by Margaret Martin

Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy: A Reference by Nat Kuhn MD – Recommended by Margaret Martin

Treating Affect Phobia: A Manual for Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy by Leigh McCullough, et al – Recommended by Margaret Martin

Healing through Relating: A Skill-Building Book for Therapists by Jon Frederickson – Recommended by Margaret Martin

Changing Character: Short-term Anxiety-regulating Psychotherapy For Restructuring Defenses, Affects, And Attachment by Leigh Mccullough Vaillant – Recommended by Margaret Martin

Mastering Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy: A Roadmap to the Unconscious by Josette ten Have-de Labije and Robert J. Neborsky – Recommended by Margaret Martin

The Lies We Tell Ourselves by Jon Frederickson – Recommended by Margaret Martin

The Transforming Power Of Affect: A Model For Accelerated Change by Diana Fosha – Recommended by Margaret Martin

A Therapist’s Handbook to Dissolve Shame and Defense and Master the Moment by Susan Warren Warshow – Recommended by Margaret Martin

Hidden From View: A clinician’s guide to psychophysiologic disorders by Allan Abbass – Recommended by Margaret Martin

https://istdpinstitute.com/resources/intensive-short-term-dynamic-psychotherapy-an-introduction/

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds.

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE please please leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Mind, Body, Social, & Spiritual Approaches for Healing Attachment: 30 World-Leading Pioneers Share Their Best Practices – Register now for the Holistic Attachment Summit!! – This summit will explore the most essential ideas in attachment theory, research, and how they can be applied to create deep and lasting healing for clients — enabling you to be at the forefront of evidence-based care. Click here to register!!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Support this library of content at TU staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode –

Our favorite skin quencher. Use the code TU when you checkout at oneskin.co

Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code TU.

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Liberating Marginalized Couples from Relational and Systemic Trauma with Akilah Riley-Richardson (245)

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 05:48:14 +0000

Centering voices and perspectives of marginalized couples is crucial in therapy

Co-host Sue Marriott and Akilah Riley Richardson dive into a wide-ranging discussion about the vital need to center marginalized voices of clients – and therapists. They explore how Western perspectives have shaped therapy practices globally, often overlooking diverse cultural approaches. Akilah brings a fresh, challenging perspective to the table. She pushes for a real shake-up in how we approach therapy, especially when working with marginalized couples. It’s not just about tweaking existing methods – she’s calling for a fundamental rethinking of our assumptions.

The conversation tackles some heavy topics, from unpacking the concept of relational privilege to developing strategies that help couples see beyond their individual struggles to the bigger picture of systemic trauma. What really stands out is their focus on the deep impact of systemic trauma. They don’t just acknowledge it – they dig into why it’s so crucial for therapists to truly understand and address it in their work.

Ultimately, this discussion isn’t just academic. It’s a call to action for therapists to step up, broaden their perspectives, and find new ways to help couples break free from systemic constraints. It’s about empowering relationships and, in the process, maybe changing the face of therapy itself.

“Our ways of understanding healing are not always in the traditionally confined space of therapy. Dance is healing, drumming is healing, movement is healing…” – Akilah Riley-Richardson

Time Stamps for Liberating Marginalized Couples from Systemic Trauma

00:00 Introduction and Akilah’s background
02:15 The influence of the global north on therapy practices in the global south
06:24 Understanding relational privilege in marginalized couples
28:36 The impact of systemic trauma on marginalized couples
30:50 The theater of oppression: Mapping themes onto relationships
36:51 Learning about relationships through systemic trauma
40:59 Challenging the therapy profession
46:13 The bubble of psychotherapy
48:43 Redefining and reclaiming narratives of survival
53:28 The urgency of addressing systemic trauma
56:16 Challenging the profession and implementing systemic change
59:04 Taking action and being part of the work

About our Guest – Akilah Riley-Richardson MSW, CCTP

Akilah Riley-Richardson is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, a Facilitator and Trainer, as well as a Couples Therapist, certified in the STAIR Method. She has received training in various areas including Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting, Playback Theatre, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, Neuroscience, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, Compassion Focused Therapy, and Internal Family Systems Therapy. She is the founder of the Relational Healing Institute, which is dedicated to the healing of relationships, especially those of marginalized people, and is also the creator of the P.R.I.D.E model which is an approach that is useful when working with clients and in clinical supervision. P.R.I.D.E stands for Pivot, Rumble, Imagine, Develop and Evolve.

Resources for this Episode – Liberating Marginalized Couples from Systemic Trauma

Akilah Riley-Richardson’s Website – Information & Resources

Indigenous Social Work Around the World by Towards Culturally Relevant Education and Practice by John Coates & Mel Grey – Book referenced by Akilah Riley-Richardson

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds.

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE please please leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Related episodes:

Navigating Racial Trauma and identity with Debra Chapman-Finley and Gliceria Perez part 1: TU203 AND Part 2: TU204

In each other’s Care Building and Sustaining Healthy Relationships with Stan Tatkin TU TU112

Mind Body Heart Spirit Embodying Liberation Psychology with Dr. Shena YoungTU230

Couples Therapy with Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson TU 140

Events, Announcements & Resource Links

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Austin Women’s professional development summit – it’s a huge networking event 9/13/24! Get your tickets now!

Support this library of content at TU staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode –

ARMRA Colostrum is a proprietary concentrate of bovine colostrum that harnesses over 400 living, bioactive nutrients that strengthen the barriers of your body and fuel cellular health for thousands of research-backed health benefits. Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!

Go to ZocDoc.com/TU

Compare high quality, in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment.

Purity Woods is on a mission is to provide people with the cleanest, most effective, and healthy products available – formulated by skin care chemists at the top of their field. Go to puritywoods.com/TU or enter code TU at checkout

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Therapeutic Psychedelics: Discernment, Science, and the Need for Theory with Nigel Denning (244)

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 11:00:44 +0000

Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy – the good, the questionable and what to worry about

Pychedelic assisted therapy

Nigel Denning is a pioneer in the field of training and research around the therapeutic use of medicines, and as an Australian, has seen what happens when psychedelics become legalized. He and co-host Sue Marriott discuss the state of psychedelic-assisted therapy as it ‘officially’ emerges in the United States. They discuss the efficacy of psychedelics such as MDMA and psilocybin as well as concerns about how these medicines are implemented and by whom. The need for structured treatment that supports integration with a solid theory of mind is emphasized.

Denning shares how the substances offer new opportunities for those who have not had success with traditional treatments, as well as addresses the concerns and skepticism around the science. Through their emphasis on the importance of proper setting, preparation, and integration he also highlights the importance of collaboration and community in the future of psychedelic therapy. Integrative Attachment Therapy was recommended as a sound training model to support those training in psychedelic integration.

“Psychedelics can help create the conditions for new opportunity” – Nigel Denning

Time Stamps for Unlocking the Potential of Psychedelics

04:37 The State of Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy in Australia
13:46 Addressing Criticism and Skepticism: The Need for Scientific Explanation
21:58 Understanding the Effects of MDMA on the Brain
26:41 Understanding the Effects of Psilocybin on the Brain
29:31 The Importance of Set and Setting, Preparation, and Integration
32:41 Integration in Psychedelic Therapy
36:35 Concerns about Commercialization and Lack of Regulation
44:54 Training and Collaboration in Psychedelic Therapy
49:22 Psychotherapy as a Catalyst for Transformation and Resilience

About our Guest – Nigel Denning – Unlocking the Potential of Therapeutic Psychedelics

Nigel Denning is a counseling psychologist who runs Integrative Psychology in Melbourne, Australia. He earned a Masters degree in English literature before entering Psychology. Denning developed a national training psychedelic-assisted therapy for Mind Medicine Australia, which is described by Professor David Nutt as “the world’s best.” Denning is a clinical lead in three psychedelic trials and has developed an attachment training program with David Elliott. He also mediated a healing process with two large Catholic colleges with histories of employing pedophiles, as well as worked on the George Pell prosecution. Denning has worked in institutional abuse and was instrumental in dismantling a Hindu sex cult. He has lectured a many universities and ran professional training for the College of Counseling psychologists, and trains in Tibetan Bon DzogChen following his mentor, Daniel P. Brown.

Resources for Unlocking the Potential of Therapeutic Psychedelics

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Shadow Work and Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies – Article from Mind Medicine Australia by Nigel Denning

Integrative Attachment Therapy (IAT) – Media Release

Integrative Psychology – Website & Resource

Previous episodes on psychedelic-assisted therapies to deepen your exploration:

Non-drug Psychedelic Therapy with Trey Ratcliff TU 129

A Dose of Hope TU Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy with Dan Engle 167

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds.

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links

From Triggers to Boundaries – Secure Relating in Tumultuous Times – Reserve your spot now!! – Join us for a live podcast recording bridging psychological research with real-world application. Ann and Sue will unpack the most practical aspects of modern attachment theory and relational neurobiology to help you navigate challenging times in everyday life.

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Support this library of content at TU staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode –

– This beautiful space is the location for our LIVE PODCAST 9/5/24! Community + wrap-around wellness including float tanks, ice baths, cedar plank saunas, IV infusions and ketamine. Mention Therapist Uncensored at checkout for discounts off day experiences and to waive sign-up fees for membership.

Austin Women’s professional development summit – it’s a huge networking event 9/13/24! Get your tickets now!

Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Listeners get 20% off plus a free starter kit. Piquelife.com/tu

Our favorite skin quencher. Use the code TU when you checkout at oneskin.co

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Improv: Fostering Connection in Challenging Conversations (243)

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 13:47:02 +0000

Improv in Therapy and in Life –

Explore the power – and sheer fun – of using improvisation in therapy!

Dr. Ann Kelley and Lisa Kays discuss how improv can deepen conversations around tough topics like race and oppression. They examine white supremacy culture and show how improv values like collaboration, slowing down, and embracing complexity can challenge these norms. Improv fosters creativity, playfulness, and self-reflection to help reduce defensiveness and strengthen relationships in everyday life, at work, or in our closest relationships. By creating a supportive, collaborative environment, improv deepens connections and helps people tap into a wider range of emotions.

“A culture of improvisation is collaborative – it is nature – you cannot do it by yourself.” – Lisa Kays

Time Stamps for Improv in Therapy & Life

03:30 The integration of improv and tough conversations
10:03 The origins of improv and its connection to social justice
14:27 Contrasting white supremacy culture and improv culture
19:20 Questioning cultural norms and valuing relationships
25:29 The power of the ‘And’ in joining and connecting
38:27 The power of improv in building secure relationships
53:25 Embracing creativity and letting go of perfectionism
58:12 Creating a culture of support and collaboration
01:05:04 Applying improv in everyday life
01:09:10 Deepening connections and accessing different emotions

About our Guest for Improv Therapy – Lisa Kays LICSW, LCSW, LCSW-C

Lisa Kays, LICSW, LCSW-C, LCSW, is an independently licensed clinical social worker in Washington, D.C, Maryland, Virginia, Oregon and New Jersey. She obtained her MSW from Catholic University in 2011 and has worked in a variety of clinical settings. Since 2013, she has been in private practice, providing individual, couples and group therapy to adults. She has interest in social work ethic and has published on and leads ethics training on the intersection of technology, social media and social work ethics as well as anti-racism and systemic oppression. Her practice also provides opportunities for other presenters to develop CE trainings on under-taught topics linked to social justice, systemic racism, and oppression. In addition to her traditional psychotherapy work, Lisa was a performing improviser from 2007-2019 and was on the faculty of Washington Improv Theatre from 2008-2016. She developed Washington Improv Theater’s first Improv for Therapist’s class and has offered Improv for Therapists courses, workshops and trainings to individual clinicians, pastors, life coaches, and psychiatrists, as well as clinical agencies. Since its inception, Lisa has trained more than 500 people in the application of improvisation to foster personal growth and stronger and more cohesive groups. Lisa has been invited to lead trainings in improv-informed therapy at the American Academy of Psychotherapists, the Mid-Atlantic Group Psychotherapy Association, the American Group Psychotherapy Association, and at The Psychotherapy Networker, among others. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post and on NBC4. Recently, Lisa launched a humor, humility-infused podcast, “What if Nothing’s Wrong With You?” with co-host Paula D. Atkinson on themes related to therapy, mental health, oppression, patriarchy and how it’s all interconnected.

Resources for Improv Therapy –

Lisa Kay’s – Website & Resources

The Fierce Urgency of Now: Improvisation, Rights, and the Ethics of Cocreation (Improvisation, Community, and Social Practice) – by Fischlin, Daniel; Heble, Ajah; Lipsitz, George

Theater Games – Viola Spolin Resources

Rehearsals for Growth – Website and Educational Resources

Decolonizing Therapy: Oppression, Historical Trauma, and Politicizing Your Practice – book by Jennifer Mullan, PsyD

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron – Book and Resources

Free Play: Improvisation in Life and Art – Nachmanovitch, Stephen

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds.

If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Therapists: This is our recommended class for going deeper and learning the most. You will not be disappointed! Use our link for a discount!

Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Support this show staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode

Go to puritywoods.com/TU or enter code TU at checkout for 27% off.

Go to helloned.com/TU or enter code TU at checkout for a discount.

Go to ZocDoc.com/TU

This is a no-brainer – use it to find just about any specialist you are looking for.

Thanks for listening, friends!

Protection or Connection? Neural Pathways & Regulation Basics – Replay (242)

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 05:05:29 +0000

Everyone is familiar with reacting “in the heat of the moment,” but do we really understand what that means? Regulation basics include the protection or connection pathways to interpersonal relating.

With the high tension we’re experiencing in the world today, it can feel particularly challenging to practice secure relating. We are re-sharing one of our impactful episodes where Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott explore the inner workings of our nervous system auto-pilot settings: protection vs connection.

Click here to view the original show notes for this episode!

Time Stamps for Protection or Connection

00:00 Understanding our internal working model
01:05 Our body responds so much faster than our mind03:11 The story we tell amplifies the body’s response
05:30 Story vs State: Protective System and the Relational Connective System
08:11 Awareness of our state and identifying the tells of a protective system
16:12 The awareness of self in the presence of another, the relational system
17:49 Our smartest brain
19:30 Tells when you’re in a relational, connective, and reflective place
25:21 Tolerating difficult emotions
29:32 Use your own name to identify yourself
31:24 Ways to calm your body down
36:40 Pre-emptive strike; we get defensive because of the threat inside of our body
39:26 Positive interpretation of a story
41:02 Conclusion

_______

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode

Go to Piquelife.com/tu

Go to helloned.com/TU or enter code TU at checkout.

Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information – Follow this link for 5% off enrollment!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!

Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

Journey to Self-Discovery: Navigating Identity & Mental Health as a Korean American Immigrant Hyeseung Song (241)

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 05:05:22 +0000

“Being Asian American means living in two worlds, and finding your place in both.”

Dr. Ann Kelley and Hyeseung Song, a first-generation Korean American discuss Hyeseung’s experiences growing up as an Asian minority in America, touching on topics like racial stereotypes, assimilation, and the model minority myth. Hyeseung shares her journey of finding her voice and identity, highlighting the mental health challenges of navigating different cultures and the path to self-acceptance.

“…realizing that I was kind of a third distinct thing, maybe not completely Korean, maybe not completely American, but Korean American – something very special that I was learning and etching out for myself.” – Hyeseung Song

Time Stamps for Journey to Self-Discovery: Navigating Identity and Mental Health as a Korean American Immigrant

5:17 – Growing up as Korean American

9:23 – The impact of racial stereotypes and assimilation

23:23 – Code-Switching and Balancing Cultural Expectations

26:24 – The Toll of Hypervigilance on Mental Health

29:14 – Finding Voice and Identity as a Korean American

36:58 – The Importance of Culturally Competent Mental Health Care

41:17 – Asian American Collaboration and Advocacy

46:13 – Embracing Identity and Fighting Racial Stereotypes: The Role of Younger Generations

56:22 – Finding Support and Being Seen

59:27 – The Importance of a Common Language in Therapy

01:06:57 – Curiosity and Connection in Conversations about Race and Identity

About our Guest – Hyeseung Song

Photo by Jack Sorokin

Hyeseung Song is a first-generation Korean American painter and the author of Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl (Simon & Schuster). She lives in Brooklyn and upstate New York. Learn more about her at hyeseungsong.com.

Resources for today’s episode –

Click here to visit Hyeseung’s website

“They Called Us Exceptional” – Prachi Gupta’s Memoir

“The Body Keeps the Score”

Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy – Author, Professor & Director of the Eikenberg Institute

Suicide statistic: #1 cause of death among young AAPI adults 15-24 is suicide

Check out Hyeseung Song’s book – Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl

Instagram @hyeseungs

Twitter @hyeseungs
Tiktok @noturdocile

Other Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/healing-intergenerational-ancestral-trauma-with-linda-thai/

_______

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode

Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!

Go to Piquelife.com/tu

Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information – Follow this link for 5% off enrollment!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

Addiction, Attachment & the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model with Jan Winhall – Replay (240)

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 05:05:58 +0000

Let’s revisit the “Felt Sense” Polyvagal model

Enjoy this replay episode with Jan Winhall, as we explore how our bodies can guide us towards healing and growth through the concept of “felt sense.” This approach integrates neuroscience and focuses on our innate ability to perceive and respond to our experiences. Winhall’s work challenges conventional views on navigating challenges influenced by culture and trauma.

Click here to view Jan Winhall’s original shownotes

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Interest in David Elliot’s Integrative Attachment Training? Click here!!

Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode with Jan Winhall

Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!

‘

Go to ZocDoc.com/TU

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberatio

Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

Episode Swap: Secure Relating with Ann & Sue on The Baffling Behavior Show (239)

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 05:05:07 +0000

Episode Swap!! Check out this cross-over episode with Robyn Gobbel

One of the many incredible aspects of this community are the people we are able to connect and learn with, like Robyn Gobbel. She is a licensed social worker, podcast host, keynote speaker, writer, trainer & consultant – and even host launch this spring. This episode, Ann and Sue joined her on her podcast, “The Baffling Behavior Show”, to talk about secure relating.

Click here to see “The Baffling Behavior Show” show notes

Looking for our reading and discussion groups? Click here!!

Other Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes with Robyn Gobbel

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu142-trauma-informed-therapy-with-kids-with-robyn-gobbel-msw-rpt-s/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu53-complex-trauma-and-managing-dysregulation-with-guest-robyn-gobbel/

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Interest in David Elliot’s Integrative Attachment Training? Click here!!

Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode with Robyn Gobbel

Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberatio

Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups with Lindsey Kealey (Replay) – (238)

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 05:29:45 +0000

School is out and the kids are home – let’s revisit the “Three C” method: collect, calm & collaborate

As our schedules shift for summer, we think revisiting this episode with expert Lindsey Kealey is the perfect reminder. The warmer weather is great for vacations or some weekend fun in the sun, but we also know that the shift in schedule can be tough for parents and children. Little minds can have big feelings and in the spirit of secure relating, we are taking the opportunity to revisit strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Lindsey Kealey introduces a trauma-informed program grounded in neuroscience, employing social-emotional learning and problem-solving techniques to enhance decision-making and relational well-being. Through her Three C’s approach – connect, calm, and collaborate – she aims to revolutionize interpersonal dynamics, empowering individuals to interact more positively with themselves and others.

Click here to view the original show notes – Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups

Resources for Managing Intense Feelings

Click here for Dr. David Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Training

You can get your copy here!!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

Go to Zocdoc.com/TU

Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community with Ann & Sue 3 of 3 (237)

Tue, 21 May 2024 05:05:31 +0000

Part 3 of 3 – Let’s talk about deepening security relationally

Curiosity, emotional honesty and discernment… magic ingredients to preserve and express your security.

Ann and Sue focus on context over the intrapsychic in this episode, which expands on the last thrid of the ideas from their book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.

Moving from individual to interpersonal and then societal levels, we discuss the complexities of human connection. Ann and Sue touch on the dark side of empathy and oxytocin, explore leadership and the need for nuance in navigating today’s challenges while aiming to expand beyond just the Western lens. Whether it be with your partner or even how you navigate your community – building security helps every single one of us. They hope to help you do your part in this crucial work of deepening your connection to the goodness of yourself and others and mobilizing your voice to stand up for those who need us.

“Our growth does not just happen in the therapy office, it happens through all of our relational experiences and is enhanced by interpersonal risk we take safe people throughout our lives.” – Sue Marriott

Time Stamps for Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community

1:55 – Deeping security among us

4:23 – What is a primary?

9:31 – Why we don’t use the word “treatment”

18:37 – Empathy and Oxitocyn aren’t always good

24:19 – Why receiving opposing feedback is important

Resources for Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community

Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon!

You can get your copy here!!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

Shifting Activation Levels: Part II of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (236)

Tue, 07 May 2024 05:05:50 +0000

Following the launch of the book, our virtual party, and our Modern Attachment conference in Austin, TX, Ann and Sue open with gratitude from the event, and for the overwhelming outpour of love and support from our community and those who help inspire this content. As we dive into more chapters of the book, we lean into understanding the attachment spectrum colors, recognizing what is happening internally when we feel activated, and shifting activation levels.

Holding Your Own – Behind the Scenes and Part I of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (235)

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 05:05:23 +0000

After years of hard work, Sue and Ann could not be more excited to celebrate the release of their book. Today's episode offers behind the scene's conversation and a deeper dive into Part 1 of the book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. You can purchase it now directly at www.securerelatingbook.com and get an ad-free podcast feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

Integrative Attachment Therapy with Dr. David Elliott (234)

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 10:44:21 +0000

Exactly 100 episodes later, Ann and Sue are thrilled to be back discussing Integrative Attachment theory with Dr. David Elliott. Together they delve into the therapy model's development, centered around three key elements: enhancing collaboration, fostering metacognition, and constructing new internal working models through imagery. Dr. Elliott elaborates on how the therapeutic journey prioritizes the therapeutic alliance, perspective-taking, and employing mental imagery to cultivate fresh attachment dynamics. Despite limited empirical validation, anecdotal evidence suggests its efficacy in symptom reduction and enhancing overall well-being. Ann and Sue share insights into crafting their book and course on attachment insecurity, emphasizing the significance of mental imagery and collaborative engagement in therapy, while underscoring the necessity for more therapists skilled in attachment therapy.

Information Processing: Sunglasses, Early Attachment & More with Ann & Sue (233)

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 05:05:53 +0000

Ann and Sue are back for another deep dive, this time on all things information processing. Using the concept of sunglasses as a metaphor for information distortion, they explain how our internal working models and attachment experiences shape the way we perceive and interpret information. The sunglasses represent different states of activation, with clear glasses indicating a secure state and aviator sunglasses representing a defensive, self-protective state. Sunglasses can affect our relationships - but they don't have to stop us from building healthy connections. Follow along as we explore the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in navigating relationships.

The Neuroscience Behind Our Collective Dysregulation: Navigating Today’s Social Crisis (232)

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 05:05:23 +0000

We can understand our social pain by considering the nervous system, just think of it as a collective amygdala hijack! Threat is pressing us to live in an alarm state and then we get used to it, as if it's normal to be so divided, hopeless and disdainful to those who are holding different positions in the world. We need to cultivate secure (mature) relating to move ourselves back into a social, relational place that makes us more generous, compassionate and able to work with complexity to stay engaged to solve some of these pressing world and community issues. Keep hope alive! Iwww.therapistuncensored.com/join

Hypnosis for Healing: Understanding the Powerful Science with Dr. David Spiegel (231)

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 05:05:15 +0000

Join Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. David Spiegel as they dive into the benefits and misconceptions of hypnosis. Hypnosis is a state of highly focused attention and cognitive flexibility, allowing individuals to explore new possibilities. Whether it's trouble with sleep, intense anxiety, or a need to break bad habits, hypnosis has proven to be an effective tool for many. Dr. Spiegel has dedicated years of research and emphasizes the importance of accessibility to hypnosis in our healthcare systems. His app R E V E R I has over 1 million downloads and allows you to rewire your brain, conquer negative habits, and achieve personal growth from home.

Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit: Embodying Liberation Psychology with Dr. Shena Young (230)

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 05:05:41 +0000

Join co-host Sue Marriott and Dr. Shena Young as they dive into liberation psychology and the conflict between intuition and the traditional European model of psychology. Dr. Shena highlights embodying a holistic approach to help heal traumas and deeply root us in our most authentic selves. Whether through connections with nature and/or the exploration of ancestral traditions, this discussion is enriched with various opportunities to reconnect and liberate our mind, body, heart, and spirit.

Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane Taylor Shore (229)

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 05:05:24 +0000

We’re back with long-time friend of the podcast and expert, Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP. As we reflect on our episode from six years ago on boundaries, we dive into new knowledge and how we can create boundaries that stick. Juliane Taylor Shore blends her original methods like "the jello wall" with new research to share exciting and thoughtful insight on how through boundaries we can harness compassion in our relationships with others and ourselves.

Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 2, Episode 228)

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 05:05:59 +0000

This is part two of a two-part series with the founder of Inclusive Therapists, Melody and TU Co-host, Sue Marriott. This episode features challenging yet important conversations on active anti-racist practices, exploration of oppression, and dismantling whiteness in mental health structures. Melody emphasizes the need for white clinicians to examine their own complicity in upholding oppressive systems and to listen to and center the experiences of marginalized communities. They also highlight the interconnectedness of healing and the power of collective liberation through rehumanizing.

Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 1, Episode 227)

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 13:09:08 +0000

series with the founder of Inclusive Therapists, Melody and TU Co-host, Sue Marriott. We are pushing for more inclusive, anti-racist, and decolonialized practices.The conversation is challenging but important as we explore liberation psychology that helps us recognize and unlearn patterns of thinking that are rooted in colonization and European Western education. You may not agree with everything this guest says but you will learn something and likely feel quite a lot. Discomfort is a necessary part of liberating ourselves from engrained traditional patriarchal and white supremist thinking that continues to harm so many. Don't forget to help us reach our goal - if you appreciate TU, then please pre-order your copy of Secure Relating today & help raise the bar of secure relating in the world. www.SecureRelatingBook.com

Love Letter To Group Psychotherapy (Replay – Episode 226)

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 06:05:53 +0000

Click here to learn more about the conference!! Love Letter to Group Psychotherapy While Ann and Sue are in DC at the American Group Psychotherapy Association Conference, we thought this was the perfect opportunity to replay one of our favorite episodes. Co-hosts Sue Marriott and Patty Olwell interview colleagues at the American Group Psychotherapy 2016 Association Annual Meeting in New York. They talk about why they love group therapy and why it is so valuable to their clients. We want to thank our interviewees for their help and insights. Interviewees for this Episode... Tammy Brown – Austin TX tammybrowntherapy.com Jamie Moran – San Francisco CA jamiemoran.com Rita Drapkin – Indiana University of Pennsylvania (724)357-2621 Pierre Choucroun – Austin TX Pierre M Choucroun on Psychology Today Kelly Inselmann – Austin TX kellyinselmann.com Liz Rosenblatt – Los Angeles CA Dr Elizabeth Rosenblatt on LAGPA RESOURCES: Additional resources for this episode: Austin Group Psychotherapy Society: Organization that promotes group therapy and provides training for clinicians American Group Psychotherapy Association: National organization that promotes group therapy as a cost effective and clinical valuable treatment. Psychodynamic Group Psychotherapy Scott Rutan Walter Stone and Joseph Shay. These are masters of group. An excellent text for therapists and others eager to learn about group. You can trust these authors Pre-orders are officially available! Get it now to join in the fun when it arrives April 30, 2024. Check out what the experts who have reviewed the book have to say! Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists. Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/TU Go to CozyEarth.com/TU We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons - joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups and who knows what else may come! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!

A Neuroscience-Proven Expressive Writing Protocol with Dr. James Pennebaker (225)

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 06:05:38 +0000

Co-hosts Ann and Sue discuss this powerful tool directly with the original researcher, Dr. James Pennebaker. While expressive writing is not a simple "elixir" to cure mental or physical illness, Dr. Pennebaker has dedicated years of research and found it to be an effective method of healing for many people. Going straight for the hardest memory is hard, but replicates many techniques used by therapists yet without the cost and accessibility barriers. www.therapistuncensored.com/tu225. www.securerelatingbook.com

How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer, with Juliane Taylor Shore – REPLAY (224)

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 06:05:45 +0000

Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary-setting. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and regulation. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create them plus how to stay regulated using internalized relationships with the self.

Believing Chronic Fatigue – Living with Long Covid, ME/CFS (Myalgic Encepholomyelitis) and Hard to Diagnose Chronic Illnesses (223)

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 06:05:10 +0000

25.6% of adults who have had COVID-19 report having experienced long Covid (source). While there are a variety of symptoms and severities that come with the illness, it doesn't erase the physical and mental toll it can take on one's life. In this episode, Ann and Sue take their research as well as personal experience with the illness and discuss the stigmas, advocating for your health, being a supportive caregiver, and secure relating in regards to chronic disease.

Trailblazers in Love: Understanding & Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community with Jeff Lutes (222)

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 15:02:47 +0000

We are kicking off the new year with a special conversation between co-host Sue Marriott and special guest Jeff Lutes. Both members of the LGBTQ+ community, this discussion dives into raising families, the evolution of the community, allyship, gender, and the importance of advocacy. While there has been some progress, the LGBTQ+ community still actively faces discrimination. Whether you're a practicing therapist with clients in the community or have LGBTQ-identifying loved ones, this episode is for you. Through a personal and professional lens, this conversation offers new perspectives and shines a light on the significance of staying educated and being an active voice.

TU 2023 Year in Review: Building Internalized Secure Voices (221)

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 06:24:19 +0000

We explored many ideas this year and despite the variety of topics we found a consistent theme - nurturing secure relating in an insecure world. From interviews with our oldest son on the climate crisis to the power of awe in everyday life, we were met with rich conversations and endless opportunities to grow. As we close out 2023 with gratitude, Ann and Sue look back at important episodes from this year, review lessons learned, and exciting announcements to come in 2024.

Healing Body-Focused Repetitive Behavioral Disorders with Stacy Nakell – Replay – (220)

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 06:05:54 +0000

Hair-pulling, skin picking, and cheek, lip, & cuticle biting are self-soothing strategies that depending on the degree can become body-focused repetitive behavioral disorders. Learn about a new attachment-informed psychodynamic model for treating these painful, shame-associated behaviors in our conversation today with Sue Marriott and Stacy Nakell.

Ditching Invulnerability: Embracing Our Most Authentic Selves (219)

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 10:33:09 +0000

While just the word vulnerability can trigger our defenses, it can also be a great gateway to secure relating and deepening the connection with our authentic selves. In a society heavily influenced by social media, unhealthy gender roles, and many other factors - Ann and Sue dive into the importance of changing the narrative and stepping out of our defensive invulnerable state and into our healthy, vulnerable selves.

Cultivating Secure Relating – TU Updates & Book Sneak Peeks with Ann & Sue (218)

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 06:05:24 +0000

Relating from a place of inner security is not about an attachment category, and it can't stop with us as individuals. Ann and Sue share exciting news and community updates for TU. With secure relating at the forefront, this episode includes a sneak peek into the structure of their new book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. They explain the three R healing spiral, cultivating community, and much more! Now is a great time to join our online Neuronerd community www.therapistuncensored.com/join! Find shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/tu218.

The Amygdala Unpacked with Dr. Joseph LeDoux – Replay (217)

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 05:05:44 +0000

Tune in as we follow up on last week's episode, and sit down with amygdala expert, Dr. Joseph LeDoux. We discuss the non-conscious versus unconscious, protein synthesis, the differences between fear and threat, and how it all applies in the world of attachment.

Attachment-Focused EMDR – Tools & Techniques to Heal Trauma with Dr. Laurel Parnell – Replay (216)

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 05:05:54 +0000

A theory around trauma is that when it occurs it "gets locked in the nervous system" and the way in which the body stores the trauma - in the form of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations - can be left fragmented, therefore delaying true healing. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessings, also known as EMDR, is an evolving science that utilizes bilateral stimulation to help connect the left side of the brain to the right in order to form more cohesive, healing thoughts to better support the healing process. Tune in for this episode as co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Parnell take a deep dive into the evolution and successes of EMDR.

Attachment, Stress & Bootstraps – The Intersection of Poverty & Mental Health with Dr. Sharon Lambert – Replay (215)

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 05:05:45 +0000

Attachment 'insecurity" is partly a manifestation of unresolved stress patterns in the child and, by extension, the family. Therapists usually think of stress as interpersonal and dyadic, but you can't isolate individuals from context. We talk about context a lot when it comes to attachment - the circumstances or setting which helps to understand a process more deeply. As Sharon Lambert says in today's episode, you can't "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" if you have no boots. Sue Marriott and Sharon Lambert discuss the unconscious bootstraps communities have that cause blame towards those who are struggling. www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes to join our premium Neuronerd community www.therapistuncensored.com/join

Internal Family Systems (IFS), Neuroplasticity and Attachment with Dr. Frank Anderson – REPLAY (214)

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 05:05:37 +0000

We aren't one thing and getting to know our different parts is an effective technique to deepen healing. These "parts" are metaphorical "little beings" that live in our minds and manifest into physical or emotional reactions from traumatic events. Dr. Frank Anderson has spent decades of his life studying these parts and sharing his findings to help others utilize built-in resources like their "self-energy" to navigate their own traumas. Join us as Sue Marriott and Dr. Anderson weave together psycho-pharmacology, trauma, neuroscience, attachment, and internal family systems. More at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

Clarity, Healing & Purpose is Less Than a Minute Away, the Power of Awe with Jake Eagle (213)

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 15:05:19 +0000

The idea of adding 30 minutes of extra meditation to our already busy schedules can feel overwhelming - but Jake Eagle has dedicated years to his research and found the mindfulness loophole. Awe is an incredibly powerful tool that can over time help us rewire our brains and build security within. Eagle is here to prove that awe is not only meant to be found in grand moments like standing at the top of a mountain or hearing your favorite musician live - but in the tiny fragments of our everyday life. Awe is accessible to us each day, and in this episode, Dr. Ann Kelley and Jake Eagle explore strategies like the "A Method" to incorporate mindfulness into our daily routines. These methods can help to ease the tension of the autopilot mode in our brains, reduce inflammation throughout the body, and equip us with the tools to have deeper, more meaningful connections. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/213 and join our Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

In Each Other’s Care: Building & Sustaining Healthy Relationships with Stan Tatkin (212)

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 15:39:33 +0000

Applying the relational sciences to real life is what this podcast is all about - and today's guest is an expert in this area. We've invited Stan Tatkin to return for a discussion on secure relating and healthy interdependence. All humans are complicated creatures and if we spend enough time with each other, it's going to get tense. That part is OK, but what happens after arguing, disconnection or tension is what really matters. www.therapistuncensored.com/212. Join our Neuronerd Community for unique study opportunites at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

You Are Kenough: Liz Plank joins to unpack the Barbie Movie, Secure Relating, Gender Roles & Patriarchy (211) Bonus Episode

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 05:08:17 +0000

The Barbie movie has sparked great controversy so we invited journalist Liz Plank to discuss. Some are burning their Barbie's and calling it "anti-man" while others view it as a strategic call out to the challenges both men and women face on a regular basis. We've learned to view the world through a patriarchal lens, so when it's flipped only then can we see how those in power mistreat those who aren't. This is pro-anyone wanting secure relating and mutuality - all genders welcome! Ann and Sue are joined by Liz Plank to dive into the symbolism of the Barbie movie and how it applies to real life and secure relating. Listen now to explore patriarchy, masculinity, and the hierarchies of our society - and important steps we can take to build security through vulnerability for a more inclusive world.

Working with Attachment Trauma Using Lessons from the AAP, Failed Mourning, Disorganized/Dysregulated Attachment with Dr. Carol George (210)

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 05:05:01 +0000

Sue Marriott and Dr. George explore her inspiration for writing her new book, tips for applying the information in a clinical setting, as well as deeper dives into concepts like failed mourning and the relationship with dysregulated attachment. With her decades of research, Dr. George offers thorough insights into the world of attachment, trauma, and building security.

Back to Basics: Understanding All Things Attachment with Ann & Sue (209)

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 05:09:55 +0000

A refresher course on all things attachment from spectrums, connective and protective systems, embodied stories, and much more.

Secure Attachment & Recognizing Secure States of Mind with Ann & Sue (208)

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 05:05:53 +0000

We’ve covered the different protection and connection strategies - preoccupied (red on the spectrum), dismissing (blue on the spectrum), and unresolved (tie-dye), but today’s episode is all about what secure attachment actually looks like in daily life. You’ve experienced the continuum from red, blue, or even tie-dye, but how do you know when you’re in your green? A securely attached system doesn’t mean you’re never upset - it’s about having the ability to stay engaged while you have big feelings. In this episode, Ann and Sue discuss what this can look like conversationally, conditions that promote a secure base in parenting, and how to check in with yourself and deepen your connection with others.

Awe: A Powerful Tool for Collective Healing with Dr. Dacher Keltner (Series SRIW, Ep 6, 207)

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 05:05:43 +0000

The neuroscience of awe as an antidote to our stress response system In this series, Secure Relating in an Insecure World, we've covered tough topics head-on. It is, therefore, fitting that we close the series with something scientifically hopeful to help us stay in our secure selves so we can stay engaged and active as social advocates and not collapse in overwhelm. The science of this specific feeling of awe has garnered much attention for good reason. Our guest today has spent decades exploring the sensation and documenting how to develop it in everyday life. We have all experienced these small moments that allow us to shift our mindset away from ourselves and into something so bigger. Co-hosts Sue Marriott and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the power of awe with guest expert Dr. Dacher Keltner where they explore the science, the mystical and the hope of awe as an inspirational tool for collective healing. "You can be outdoors by yourself, you can be listening to an amazing passage of music, you can think about somebodywhose life really inspires you. You have this urge to connect, to be part of community, to be good to other people, to share with other people, to make the world and your community a little bit better - that tells us something fundamental about the DNA of Awe." - Dr. Dacher Keltner Time Stamps for Awe 2:15 - What is awe? 3:31 - Physiology during moments of awe 8:21 - One of Dr. Keltner's most striking discoveries about awe 8:57 - Understanding everyday awe 10:11 - The role of curiosity in awe 13:31 - The power of music 14:27 - The 8 wonders that bring us awe 21:20 - Collective effervescence 25:38 - Alan Cowen & Dacher Keltner's experiential maps 27:36 - Awe in animals 32:16 - How awe can sometimes lead you astray 40:17 - Using awe as a tool for younger generations Resources for today's episode on the feeling of "awe" DacherKeltner.com - Personal website full of research, books, videos, and other resources Greater Good Science Center - Resource center with podcasts, quizzes, articles & videos Science of Happiness - Podcast by the Great Good Network AlanCowen.com - Visuals of mapping emotion You can purchase his most recent book, here!! About our Guest - Dr. Dacher Keltner Dr. Keltner is one of the world’s foremost emotion scientists. He is a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and the director of the Greater Good Science Center. He has over 200 scientific publications and six books, including Born to Be Good, The Compassionate Instinct, and The Power Paradox. He has written for many popular outlets, from The New York Times to Slate. He was also the scientific advisor behind Pixar’s Inside Out, is involved with the education of healthcare providers and judges, and has consulted extensively for Google, Apple, and Pinterest, on issues related to emotion and well-being. We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons - joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups and who knows what else may come! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! Click here for Awe - Dr. Dacher Keltner - Transcripts Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!

Healing Intergenerational and Ancestral Trauma with Linda Thai (Series SRIW, Ep 5, 206)

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 05:05:10 +0000

Linda Thai shares her journey of self-discovery as she navigates her own identity in the aftermath of unrecognized transgenerational trauma. She has dedicated her life to building secure relations within herself and her roots, and provides body-oriented healing using sheds light on the reality of unraveling transgenerational traumas. Through her various healing strategies, she reclaims the unresolved ancestral grief and trauma in her lineage and inspires others to look at our colonized systems through a different lens.

Let’s talk about it: A Pathway for Conversations & Meaningful Change on Climate with Dr. Anna Graybeal (Series SRIW, Ep 4, 205)

Tue, 23 May 2023 05:05:56 +0000

Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Anna Graybeal discuss the necessary steps to building security and embracing tough conversations within our communities. This conversation takes a scientific and therapy-based approach to guide us toward the big emotions around these topics and equips us with the tools to cope with uncertainties, and an opportunity to learn how to harness healthy discussions around the climate crisis. When we can address the resistance within ourselves, we can use that as fuel to unite and heal our planet, our well-being, and our relationships.

Racial Trauma: Challenges to Traditional Therapy, Part 2 of 2 (SRIW Series, Ep 3, 204)

Tue, 09 May 2023 05:05:55 +0000

This a continuation of our previous discussion with Gliceria Pérez & Debra Chatman-Finley where we explore other lasting effects of racial trauma. From the challenges of parenting with an unresolved trauma history to navigating day-to-day as a person of color, they use group therapy as an opportunity to make space for women to vocalize their pain and build community. Gliceria and Debra share personal stories and real-life examples of microaggressions and discrimination and offer insightful ways white individuals can acknowledge their privilege and cultivate an inclusive community.

Navigating Racial Trauma & Identity with Gliceria Pérez & Debra Chatman-Finley Part 1 (SRIW Series, Ep 1, 203)

Tue, 02 May 2023 05:05:02 +0000

This is part of the series, Secure Relating in an Insecure World AND the first of a 2-parter on racial trauma! BIPOC therapists tell the truth about their experiences - from corporate America to working in child protective services, this discussion is full of painful yet unfortunately common experiences of discrimination, intimidation, and blatant inequality. Gliceria Perez and Debra Chatman-Finley join Sue Marriott as they teach white therapists what it's like for clients of color. They also model how to embrace these tough conversations to create a safe space in our communities. www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

Intergenerational Conversation on Climate with a Young Adult Homesteader (Secure Relating in an Insecure World, new series) Ep.202

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 05:05:48 +0000

Finding and maintaining connection and a sense of security in times of fear and general chaos is THE ultimate challenge. This is a very special episode - co-hosts Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott are joined by 24-year-old homesteader Mason Marriott-Voss, to discuss navigating big generational differences and re-building a sense of security in an uncertain world. This is the first of the new series, Secure Relating in an Insecure World. See the resource-filled show notes for today's episode at www.therapistuncensored.com/202.

Interpreting Dreams with a Jungian Lens: Unlocking a World Within Ourselves (201)

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 19:56:51 +0000

Some dreams can feel insignificant, but can be a portal into a deeper understanding of who we are and what we need. When we drift off to sleep each night, we are unlocking a world within ourselves that can help us find healing and take a step towards building security. With Jungian Analysts Deborah Stewart, Lisa Marchiano and Joseph Lee, co-host Dr. Ann Kelley explores the significance of our dreams and the potential journeys of growth through a Jungian lens.

Dreams: What do they really mean? An open discussion with Ann & Sue (200)

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 05:05:22 +0000

From weird dream fragments to unsettling nightmares, our associations to each dream can tell us a little bit more about our unconscious. Tapping into these deeper meanings can help us explore who we are and help us navigate from unsettledness in the dream back to security. Co-hosts Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss the power of association in dreams and connect those to our inner working models. For shownotes www.therapistuncensored.com/200 to join our ad-free feed www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

Exploring Internal Working Models with Ann & Sue (199)

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 06:05:10 +0000

The care we receive in early development can be a strong indicator of who we become and how we interact. While it is mostly unconscious, our internal working models play a role in how we navigate our relationships with ourselves and others. Co-hosts Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott use neuroscience and personal narratives to help make this science digestible and applicable in our daily lives.

A Client’s Perspective on EMDR with Dr. Deborah Korn & Michael Baldwin (198)

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 06:00:29 +0000

Michael Baldwin is an accomplished leader in the communications industry with over 35 years of experience. Despite his many successes, after years of suppressing his traumas, Baldwin reached a breaking point. Through his work with Dr. Jeffrey Magnavita, Baldwin's life was transformed by the power of EMDR. He wanted to make the science digestible for all audiences and created visual "billboards" for various aspects of EMDR. After teaming up with EMDR specialist Dr. Deborah Korn, the two authored "Every Memory Deserves Respect" - a book dedicated to helping others understand and heal their traumas. In this discussion, Deborah Korn explores the ways that trauma may go unnoticed, the ways it stores in our bodies, and common fears that are expressed when beginning the EMDR process. As an experienced client, Michael Baldwin is able to provide personal and meaningful ways that EMDR has improved his quality of life, relationships, and confidence.

What Tiny Humans Can Teach Us About Adult Relating, with Neonatal Therapist Sue Ludwig (197)

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 07:16:18 +0000

As a certified Neonatal Therapist, Sue Ludwig has dedicated her life to not only the physical development but the emotional development of her patients. Ludwig brings intentionality to each moment by strategically working to regulate patients' nervous systems during their time in the NICU. Her process focuses on the interconnection of the mind and body and aims to support the child's development in vulnerable situations. She explains the importance of proper technique to avoid disrupting the nervous system, and the long-term effects on neurodevelopment. Through her personal and professional journeys, Sue Ludwig has learned the value of being present in small moments to build deeper connections and experience lasting results.

Training Your Brain & Body to Thrive During Stress with Dr. Elizabeth A Stanley – REPLAY (196)

Tue, 24 Jan 2023 06:00:27 +0000

Elizabeth A. Stanley, Ph.D., is an associate professor of security studies at Georgetown University and the creator of Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training (MMFT)®, taught to thousands in civilian and military high-stress environments. In 2019, Dr. Stanley published "Widen the Window: Training your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recovering from Trauma" - a highly praised resource known for providing tools to heal and thrive. We are replaying this discussion we shared with Dr. Stanley in early 2022 as a reminder of the power of expanding our windows of tolerance and building resiliency. To check out the original show notes for Elizabeth Stanley's episode, click here! Resources related to Elizabeth Stanley Ph.D.'s Episode Dr. Elizabeth A. Stanley's Website "Widen the Window: Training Your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recover from Trauma" - Purchase "Mindfulness-Based Mind-Fit Training" - Online Courses "Optimizing the Caveman Within Us" - Dr. Elizabeth A. Stanley's TedTalk Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, and very unique study opportunities. Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast (and these show notes) offer quality education and insight into interpersonal relationships. An entirely free way to support us is to simply rate and review the podcast on your favorite podcast player, and/or to simply share this episode with someone you think could use the free resources on the show!

Whole Brain Living, Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor – REPLAY (195)

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 06:05:01 +0000

Integrating psychology, neurobiology and spiritual awakening - this episode will inspire you as it has the 26 million viewers of the TED Talk, Stroke of Insight. Using neuroanatomy and her deep insights from a serious stroke, Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor and Sue Marriott discuss the 4 interpersonal skill subsets in the brain. Also find out more about Whole Brain Living and the various ways it can be applied across the multiple settings by getting in touch with Bolte-Taylor. This a a must-not-miss replay from 2022, find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/195, www.therapistuncensored.com/join to get an ad-free feed and join the online community.

Calling In the Call-Out Culture with Loretta J. Ross – REPLAY (194)

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 00:41:36 +0000

"Call-out culture" - a term coined within the last few years, but a concept that has existed long before. With a society immersed in technology, there are many positives about the seemingly never-ending conversation, but with the increase in connection, there's also an increase in the ability to speak negatively to and about one another. How do we educate others without tearing them down? In a divided world, changing our approach can help create social change. Loretta J. Ross, an activist, professor, and self-proclaimed "professional feminist" has dedicated years of her life to understanding how and why this culture has evolved. Follow along in her insightful discussion with co-host, Sue Marriott as they explore the intentions behind these actions, the root of the issue, and how to more effectively "call-in" without "calling out" using the "Five C Continuum" process.

Addiction, Attachment & the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model with Jan Winhall (193)

Tue, 13 Dec 2022 00:05:10 +0000

Jan Winhall provides new perspectives on the ways in which culture and trauma affect our navigation within the world. Using the bottom-up approach, she explains how addictions are regulation strategies and provides tools to connect deeper to our nervous systems, and ourselves. Follow along as Sue Marriott and Jan explore her "felt sense" model where she blends neuroception and interoception through a polyvagal lens.

Relationship-based Parenting: An Integration of Neurobiology, Attachment, Regulation & Discipline (192)

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 06:00:21 +0000

Learn powerful strategies for parenting even during the most difficult moments. Ann Kelley, Kat Scherer and Elizabeth Sylvester discuss ways of integrating attachment and neurobiology into disciplinary styles that work and build balance in our relationships.

Attachment, Stress & Bootstraps – The Intersection of Poverty & Mental Health with Dr. Sharon Lambert (191)

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 00:05:53 +0000

Attachment 'insecurity" is partly a manifestation of unresolved stress patterns in the child and, by extension, the family. Therapists usually think of stress as interpersonal and dyadic, but you can't isolate individuals from context. We talk about context a lot when it comes to attachment - the circumstances or setting which helps to understand a process more deeply. As Sharon Lambert says in today's episode, you can't "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" if you have no boots. Sue Marriott and Sharon Lambert discuss the unconscious bootstraps communities have that cause blame towards those who are struggling. There is no doubt that poverty impacts physical and emotional health, and thus lifting children out of poverty is a direct intervention in their well-being. Today's session also explores fascinating research on how people use mental health podcasts - join us! www.therapistuncensored.com/join Shownotes here: www.therapistuncensored.com/191

Secure Relating, Not the Same as Secure Attachment with Ann & Sue (190)

Wed, 02 Nov 2022 00:05:52 +0000

You don't have to be totally healed from years of therapy under your belt or a history of secure attachment to develop skills for increased intimacy and secure relating. This is something that anybody, no matter their history, can begin to learn. Channeling your inner awareness to recognize a heightened state of arousal or using visualizations to help stay in a regulated place helps tap into your right brain to connect with yourself and your humanity. Ann and Sue navigate their personal examples, self-regulating tips, breaking out of their defensive "competitive head", and many more useful strategies to explore the ways we can move in the direction of secure connections.

Healing Body-Focused Repetitive Behavioral Disorders with Stacy Nakell (189)

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 00:03:54 +0000

Mistaken Assumptions to Re-Examine for Relational Connection w Ann and Sue (188)

Tue, 04 Oct 2022 01:38:35 +0000

Assumptions block our view of seeing the whole perspective and equip us with a bias that can make our relationships difficult to navigate. Not asking people personal questions or receiving feedback might be underlined unexamined bias. Whether your "moral compass" may get in the way, your assumptions form from cultural influence, or you even feel avoidant of those tougher conversations and just assume the other person is on the same page - this episode is for you. This is a follow up to the defense series as Ann and Sue help us continue to get real and question what we think we just know.

Connecting with Your Unconscious to Understand Your Defenses Session 5 of 5 – (187)

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 06:00:55 +0000

Whether it's projection, appearing to be a "know it all", power dynamics, ceding, or even being forgetful - we express our subconscious and conscious defenses in multiple ways. Follow along to connect with your own defenses and learn how to healthily disarm your patterns for emotional regulation.

Harnessing Healthy Aggression with Jeanne Bunker, Session 4 of 5 (186)

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 00:37:03 +0000

Aggression is not a feeling, it can be positive or negative goal-directed life energy. Learn to use this energy to propel us forward in conversation with guest expert Jeanne Bunker and co-host, Sue Marriott. What is healthy aggression? It can be a resource to help us navigate our personal goals, increase intimacy within our relationships, and to act as a catalyst for change when paired with desire. Follow along as Jeanne Bunker and Sue Marriott break down the negative connotations and provide perspective to harness this resource and help reclaim healthy aggression. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/186. Join our Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

Navigating Power Dynamics, Disarming Human Defenses with Ann & Sue: Session 3 of 5 (185)

Tue, 13 Sep 2022 00:03:32 +0000

When you unconsciously deem "power" as what keeps you "safe" in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections. Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn't to eliminate defenses - but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history.

Our Friend the Hippocampus: Disarming Human Defenses with Ann & Sue, Session 2 of 5 (184)

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 00:37:32 +0000

Learn more about autobiographical memory and the hippocampus in managing stress. By blending neuroscience and a 3 R Spiral of change strategy, we can begin to sort through our defenses, rewire how we navigate our world, and move towards healing our relationships. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/184. Join our Neuronerd private community for an ad-free feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

Disarming Human Defenses, a Series with Ann & Sue: Session 1 of 5 (183)

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 00:05:04 +0000

Ann and Sue get into the nitty gritty of exploring normal human defenses. Using the full body of work from translated relational neuroscience, modern attachment, and depth psychology they break down their professional and personal experience moving from armor back to more connected relationality. Show notes at www.therapistuncensored.com/183 and more episodes at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.

Internal Family Systems (IFS), Neuroplasticity and Attachment with Dr. Frank Anderson (182)

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 22:25:12 +0000

Managing Traumatic Stress as it Occurs (Peritraumatic Growth) with Dr. Arielle Schwartz (181)

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 14:38:20 +0000

We've heard of post-traumatic growth, but what about coping while the trauma is actually happening? Co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP and trauma expert Arielle Schwartz, Ph.D. take a deep dive into post-traumatic and peri-traumatic growth. This compassionate conversation is full of excellent resources for enduring when overwhelmed. Learn more about yoga for trauma, somatic therapy and EMDR with these resources. More episodes on modern attachment on neuroscience at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

The Science of Trust and Attachment with Dr. Steve Finn (180)

Tue, 19 Jul 2022 00:46:13 +0000

The science of trust is key. Deciding who to trust in today's world is especially hard - fake news, political polarization and societal strife amplifies our already on guard nervous system. When our trust has been broken, whether early in childhood or in our adult relationships, learning who to trust can prove even more challenging. In today's episode, Dr. Steve Finn and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the science behind epistemic trust and why many of us may have broken trust meters. They discuss how trust issues can create a mess in our relationship, whether we are the constant skeptic who resists taking in new information or we tend to trust blindly, without testing or holding healthy doubts. Together they provide deep and compassionate insights into these struggles and how they relate to internal working models. A fan favorite, Dr. Finn returns to bring his years of expertise to our listeners about ways to build curiosity and tools of mentalization, including our ability to handle healthy skepticism. Shownotest at www.therapistuncensored.com/180

From Toxic Individualism to Relational Security with Terry Real (179)

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 14:57:45 +0000

This episode explores individualistic thinking and will support you doing the tough internal work to give up power in favor of connection. Utilizing neurobiology, years of research, and professional experience, Terry Real and Ann Kelley break down the history of individualism and the toxic patterns it can hold in our society and in our relationships. Episode notes at www.therapistuncensored.com/180. Gut health impacts mood and brain function - support your gut health with our sponsor, Athletic Greens AG1 at this link www.athleticgreens.com/therapistuncensored

It’s Not Communication You Need, it’s Connection – with Guest John Howard (178)

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 09:00:32 +0000

We often focus on being understood through words, but guess what? Words and verbal communication can be mildly irritating to our nervous system. Learn what works and what doesn't when trying to build closeness and connection with those you love. Tune in for this week's episode as co-host Sue Marriott and John Howard discuss the power of mindfulness and spirituality on our minds and body, and the lasting roles they play in all types of relationships.

Find Your Focus & Own Your Attention with Dr. Amishi Jha (177)

Tue, 07 Jun 2022 00:05:10 +0000

Many of us struggle with hyper-vigilant minds that overwhelm our nervous systems. Some of us overcompensate by habitually tuning out, causing us to miss important information from our bodies and our relationships. Dr. Amishi Jha summarizes the neural bases of attention and the effects of mindfulness-based training programs on cognition, emotion, resilience, and performance.

Attachment in Polyamory & Consensual Non-Monogamous Relationships with Jessica Fern (176)

Tue, 24 May 2022 12:00:43 +0000

Co-host Sue Marriott and psychotherapist and relationship expert, Jessica Fern, sit down for a deep dive into the science behind attachment in consensually non monogamous relationships. Tune in to help update your model of what makes a healthy, secure-functioning relationship. More here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

Harnessing Fierce Self-Compassion to Speak Up & Claim Your Power with Dr. Kristin Neff (175)

Tue, 10 May 2022 08:22:24 +0000

Explore compassion from its neurological and societal basis through the Dr. Kristin Neff's research writings and current conversations. Embrace self-love using the bravery of showing up as your authentic self.

The Amygdala Unpacked with Dr. Joseph LeDoux (174)

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 17:40:52 +0000

The Neurobiology of Threat Impacts Your Relationships, Ann and Sue Update You on the Latest (173)

Sun, 10 Apr 2022 23:10:37 +0000

Ann and Sue blend their own personal experiences and knowledge of neuroscience to help improve your relationships and integrate healing change within the body. Follow along as they apply all we know about the fear system and the unconscious defense, and cover the misconceptions about how the amygdala is often perceived as the "fear center" of the body.

Training Your Brain & Body to Thrive During Stress with Dr. Elizabeth A Stanley (172)

Tue, 29 Mar 2022 07:00:26 +0000

It's easy to ignore or not notice the impact of stress and trauma on your body, but this can have a devastating impact on you physically emotionally and also on your relationships. Guest Dr. Elizabeth Stanley knows stress reduction - she had developed a program used by the US military called Mindfulness-based Mind Fitness Training. Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Stanley discuss practical strategies that will help you build resilience, recover from trauma, heal and thrive. Find show notes and more episodes at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.

Family Reconciliation & Writing to Heal Trauma, an Update with Laura Davis, co-author of the classic Courage to Heal (171)

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 00:20:40 +0000

Writing courageous words can heal deep wounds. In today's episode with Courage to Heal author Laura Davis, we discuss reading and writing as part of our therapeutic journey aka bibliotherapy, family reconciliation, mother-daughter bonding and we explore the questionable power of memory. Her new memoire, the Burning Light of 2 Stars, Laura Davis and Sue Marriott have a moving conversation that is surely to bring you the feels.

Attachment-Focused EMDR – Tools & Techniques to Heal Trauma with Dr. Laurel Parnell (170)

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 07:10:39 +0000

Sue and Ann Explore Self Criticism and Internal Scripts (Ep.169)

Wed, 16 Feb 2022 00:05:30 +0000

Hearing yourself criticized impacts your nervous system no matter if the voice is your own or someone else. Ann and Sue take a deep dive into self-criticism, self attack, and internal criticism of others. They look at how it relates to attachment styles and use it as a window in to unconscious scripts we carry about ourselves and the world. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes and join our Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join!

Calling In the Call-Out Culture with Loretta J. Ross (168)

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 00:05:48 +0000

A Dose of Hope: Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy for PTSD And Other Conditions With Dr. Dan Engle (167)

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 01:00:08 +0000

What's the excitement about? Catch up on psychedelic-assisted therapy by learning more about psilocybin, MDMA, ketamine, ibogaine and more with this episode featuring Dr. Dan Engle of Kuya Institue of Transformational Medicine.

Regulation Basics: Protection or Connection Neural Pathways – Which System are You Running Right Now? (166)

Tue, 04 Jan 2022 03:00:24 +0000

Everyone is familiar with reacting “in the heat of the moment,” but do we really understand what that means? In this episode, Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley unravel the mystery behind our nervous systems auto-pilot settings. They simplify otherwise complex ideas by breaking in to 2 main points. Becoming aware whether you are in the Protection versus Connection pathways in our nervous system helps us manage them. How does our story affect how we react and deal with conflict, and how can we mitigate it? Tune in for this insightful and eye-opening discussion on our internal working models when interacting with others. More at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups with Lindsey Kealey (165)

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 11:52:16 +0000

Learn the 3 C's of connection and social emotional learning. Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and child specialist, Lindsey Kealey dive into strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Linsey Kealey has developed a trauma-based, neuroscience-informed program that uses social emotional learning and problem-solving strategies to help all of us make positive decisions and thrive in our relationships. She utilizes the Three C's method, connect, calm and collaborate, to help transform the way we interact with ourselves and others. They discuss the three C method of connection to help cultivate healthy relationships and positive development in our children. MORE www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

Whole Brain Living, Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor (164)

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 01:30:21 +0000

Join our online community! Using neuroanatomy and her experience having a massive stroke that took her self-conscious mind, Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor and Sue Marriott discuss the 4 skill subsets in the brain that help us relate to ourselves and the world. Her TED Talk was the first one to ever go viral and has been viewed now 27 million times, so her ideas are clearly inspiring. Her new work brings together psychology, neurobiology and spiritual awakening. NOTE Dec, 2021: We will be releasing deeper dive episodes of Jill Bolte-Taylor's work and explore Whole Brain Living together on our private feed (only $5/mo). In addition, once we get through the book, we will have a live discussion all together in Jan, 2022. Join us by clicking the image to the right or go to www.therapistuncensored.com/join Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist who suffered a stroke that led her on a path to rediscovering her brain. Her viral TED Talk, “My stroke of insight,” was the inspiration for her first book, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey. Now she's back to offer a deeper insight into the inner workings of the mind with her latest book, Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life. In this episode, she dives deep into how the four distinct parts of our brain dictate how we live and be in the world. She gives great insight on how we can create anatomy by truly getting to know these four characters and owning our power. Tune in for this interesting and eye-opening discussion that could change the way you live your life. Show Notes: 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:30 The Beginnings Of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor 00:06:18 On her viral TedTalk 00:08:17 What science can’t explain 00:10:10 Left hemisphere vs right hemisphere 00:14:51 From My Stroke of Insight To Whole Brain Living, the individual in the left brain vs the individual in the right brain 00:19:40 The Four Characters: Character 1(top-left) & 2(left lower limbic) 00:31:38 How your brain can change the narrative 00:36:00 Regulation in the limbic system 00:40:53 The Four Characters: Character 3(right lower limbic) & 4(top-right) 00:50:08 The BRAIN Huddle and our personal power to choose how we want to be 01:00:40 What’s next for Dr. Jill 01:02:27 The harmony of all Characters as the evolution of humanity 01:04:08 How to contact Dr. Jill 01:06:41 Psychedelics and connection with the planet 01:09:50 More on how to contact Dr. Jill Hear more psychology and neuroscience in previous episodes: Episode 93 Polyvagal Theory with Dr. Stephen Porges Episode 110 Story Follows State (more polyvagal theory) with Deb Dana Episode 117 Resilience Trauma and the Brain with Dr. Bruce Perry -- Listen to the podcast here: Whole Brain Living - Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor Transcript: Ann Kelley: You are going to be blown away by this episode with Jill Bolte Taylor. We didn't find out until after the interview that Oprah Winfrey named her as one of her all-time favorite guests and you're going to see why. This episode is a conversational mix of fascinating life stories, insights about neuroanatomy and psychology and good inspiration. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist who started her career researching the brain and mental illness but she suffered a stroke on the left hemisphere of her brain. Through her experience of the stroke itself and her recovery, she continues to bring some of the most amazing insights regarding brain function and Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life. Her TED Talk was the very first one to go viral, I believe, with almost 28 million views. In this episode, my cohost, Sue Marriott, explores her thoughts on what made her message take off and what she was tapping into that people needed. After her first book called My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Person...

Attachment Assessment Unpacked, Ann & Sue Geek Out and Debrief Previous Episode with Carol George (163)

Wed, 24 Nov 2021 01:44:47 +0000

We are still excited by the exceptional opportunity to learn directly from Dr. George and for the privilege we have in getting to sit down with so many incredible experts in the field of attachment and the relational sciences. We thought there was no better way to follow up than to bring you an in-depth session with Ann and Sue to really get into the heart of attachment assessment. Follow along as they explore what attachment really means, how research has evolved, and how it is relevant on a clinical level. Guided by excerpts from the conversation with Dr. George, they share personal stories, and their own knowledge of the topic to give you 40 minutes of insightful, candid conversation to expand your knowledge even greater. You won't want to miss it!

TU162: Adult Attachment Projective (AAP) Assessment & Clinical Use with Dr. Carol George

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 07:17:07 +0000

This is an incredible opportunity to sit with a legend in the field of attachment research! Dr. Carol George worked directly with Mary Main, and her dissertation lead to the Adult Attachment Inventory (AAI). She and Sue Marriott discuss wide-ranging topics all with the eye on using the whole of this research in real life and in the clinical setting. Learn about the Adult Attachment Projective, the history of the research and more about this incredible woman who is a living legend.

TU161: Managing Unconscious Defense & Fear with Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 02:00:56 +0000

Overcome defense and fear - Catch up with hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott while they discuss the difference between cognitive understanding of modern attachment and regulation and the bottom-up experience of it. We distort information coming in - either by not registering interpersonal information or by over-interpreting the importance of an exchange (up-regulating with fear). This is an unconscious process that to undo we have to have the courage and the resources to feel the feelings that cause us to defend. They walk through it with you they don't just tell you what to do, so join us in understanding our own defensive process. Find episode notes at therapistuncensored.com/episodes.

TU 160: Disorganized Attachment, It’s Not Crazy; It’s a Solution to an Unsolvable Problem –- REPLAY

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 08:15:40 +0000

The is the third and final episode of our three-part series on attachment where Ann and Sue take a deep dive into the fourth category on what we call the basic attachment spectrum: disorganized attachment. No matter your trauma history, this category relates to everyone and can be applicable in many areas of life. Follow along to see how disorganized attachment appears and affects adolescent and adult life, and ways to help conquer this disconnection and form healthier, more secure relationships.

TU 159: Preoccupation in Relationships – Signs and Solutions to Anxious Attachment – REPLAY

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 15:29:45 +0000

This is the second of three episodes on the basics of modern attachment and the attachment-regulation spectrum. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott break down the red side of the attachment spectrum, anxious attachment. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

TU158: Are You Cool, or Just Cut Off? Dismissing/Avoidant Styles of Relating in Adulthood – REPLAY

Tue, 05 Oct 2021 06:25:16 +0000

This is the first in a loosely organized 3 episode series on the basics of modern attachment. New season starts Nov 1. You may think you are calm cool and collected, but ask around. :) This episode pairs with the next 2 in discussing attachment patterns in adulthood and are the core content from which we will pick up again Season 6. We keep learning a lot and updating our model so tune in and see where we go with it over time, okay?

TU157: Treating Complex Trauma and Attachment with Guest Dr. Daniel Brown REPLAY

Fri, 24 Sep 2021 17:59:11 +0000

This episode replay is packed with cool content which is why we wanted to share it again! Learn about complex trauma, debunk myths of false memories from an expert witness for the prosecutors of child sexual abuse, and revisit the 3 Pillars Model of effective treatment for attachment disturbances, Dr. Daniel Brown!

TU156: What Actually Heals in Therapy with Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams – Replay

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 21:37:27 +0000

It’s hard to verbalize the problem with “evidence-based” models of care, but renowned psychoanalyst and psychologist Nancy McWilliams does just that. In today's replay, she further describes what happens in quality depth-oriented therapies such as psychoanalytically-informed, attachment-oriented therapy, and integrates the neurobiological aspect that Freud started that has now been confirmed. Enjoy this episode replay, because it still has so much wisdom to share.

TU155: Speakably Sexy – Communicating to Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More Alive with Dr. Susan Ansorge REPLAY

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 16:22:42 +0000

In this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about was to communicate about sex.

TU154: Conquer Shame by Understanding the Science Behind the Feeling, with Guest Expert Dr. Steve Finn – REPLAY

Wed, 25 Aug 2021 17:56:50 +0000

Unpack the neuroscience of shame with Dr. Stephen Finn and co-hosts, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP. It is probably one of your least favorite feelings, but it contains important interpersonal information for us and is a good one to deep-dive around. This is a replay from the archives, but is highly relevant today as nobody is feeling very good about themselves right now.

TU153: How Good Boundaries Bring Us Closer – REPLAY – with Juliane Taylor Shore

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 21:34:07 +0000

TU152 – Helping the Intense Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach REPLAY

Sun, 08 Aug 2021 19:24:11 +0000

In this episode replay, we’ll go over where many parents go wrong, what we can do instead, and how shifts in our strategies can revolutionize our households. Learn the strategies of the Nurtured Heart Approach with expert guest, Elizabeth Sylvester.

TU151: Secure Parenting While Under Stress with Dan Siegel & Tina Payne-Bryson REPLAY

Wed, 04 Aug 2021 00:55:20 +0000

Learn the cheat code to parenting in a pandemic with Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson as they break down the science behind attachment and showing up. This is literally from the father of interpersonal neurobiology and his colleague as they apply the actual science to managing massive uncertainty and unprecedented stress.

TU 150: Ann & Sue’s 150th Episode – Recaps & Recommendations for Growing Security

Thu, 22 Jul 2021 16:41:23 +0000

Sue Marriott LCSW CGP and Ann Kelley PhD conclude their fifth season of this podcast. Therapist Uncensored is packed with incredible content and has an archive of episodes developed over the past 5 years with the theme growing security. The expert guest list is an embarrassment of riches. This episode reviews some of the highlights and points you in the right direction based on your interest. Shownotes at therapistuncensored.com/tu150.

TU 149: Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum – An Integrated Model of Change

Thu, 08 Jul 2021 05:15:03 +0000

The Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum - a model developed to describe attachment and neuroscience discussed by Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley. They summarize the 5 seasons so far and give a review of what they've learned. If you have ever wanted to understand attachment or keep up to date with the science, this podcast is packed with resources for you to learn and grown. See more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

TU 148: Emotionally Focused Therapy & Attachment with Camille Scent

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 12:45:46 +0000

Today's episode dives into a specific form of healing relationships, Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT). Co-host Sue Marriott talks with therapist Camille Scent about Sue Johnson's widely-respected treatment model. EFT is based in attachment science is a powerful tool in transforming even very difficult relationships.

TU 147: Body-Focused Therapy with Dr. Robert Coffman

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 07:19:42 +0000

Bioenergetic therapist Dr. Robert Coffman joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley for a conversation on body-focused therapy. Learn the about the interplay of your nervous system and how that relates to attachment and trauma.

TU 146: Behind the Scenes in Therapy with Lori Gottlieb

Mon, 17 May 2021 19:10:14 +0000

Lori Gottlieb & Sue Marriott share surprising insights about what therapy delivers and her NYT best-seller "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone." Surprisingly, people go to therapy to unlearn themselves.

TU145: Class, Race, Culture and Attachment, Re-examined

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 00:51:41 +0000

Attachment science is one of the most empirically validated theories of human development and is considered by many to be biologically driven and universal. But how can psychological science developed by educated European scholars in the 50's not unintentionally have some implicit bias? Join us in re-examining our assumptions about healthy child development, maternal sensitivity and attachment "insecurity." It's an overdue awkward and highly imperfect conversation but exactly what we should be talking about today.

TU144: The Case of Feli, an Awkward Goose

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 15:36:19 +0000

A poignant short story about isolation to connection. There is hope for us all - no matter your attachment history, there is hope for change with relationships. In this episode, Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP shares a specific case about an awkward goose named Felicity as another way of looking at change in attachment. Dan Stern's paper linked and recommended. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com

TU143: Fear of Abandonment and Narcissism, with Dr. Ramani Durvasula

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 21:33:40 +0000

Dr. Ramani Durvasula joins us to deepen our series on challenging personalities and to discuss the underpinnings of narcissism as it relates to attachment. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Dr. Durvasula discuss how to identify and navigate these tough relationships. See more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

TU142: Trauma-Informed Therapy with Children, with Robyn Gobbel, MSW, RPT-S

Wed, 10 Mar 2021 17:58:43 +0000

Learn more about the science of trauma and what heals. For parents and for therapists treating children and adults - Robyn Gobbel has resources to support you in addressing dysregulation and in applying the neuroscience of attachment.

TU141: How We Become the Person’s We Are with Dr. Alan Sroufe, Attachment Through the Lifespan

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 18:22:08 +0000

Leading attachment researcher Dr. Alan Sroufe shares personal reflections of his lifetime of studying attachment from infancy to adulthood. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discusses his new book, A Compelling Idea, How We Become the Person's We Are (2020) and the take away's from the 40-year and ongoing Minnesota study.

TU140 – Couples Therapy Through the Eyes of Experts: Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 21:36:19 +0000

Every couple has its ups and downs, but it's easy to think that our relationship is uniquely challenging. Experts in couples therapy and a couple themselves, Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson join co-host Sue Marriott to discuss what most people get wrong about working with couples, and how to help get it right. Together, they'll dive into the dos and don'ts of couples therapy, from the perspective of the therapist and the patient.

TU139: Boys and Sex, Modern Young Men and Sexuality with Peggy Orenstein

Sun, 13 Dec 2020 20:14:07 +0000

Dive into hook up culture, locker room talk, and the modern shifts in youth sexual behavior and health. Peggy Orenstein unpacks her new book “Boys and Sex” with co-host Ann Kelley. In this peak behind the curtain of the experience of young male sexuality, we’ll see how boys struggle with the conflicting needs of the conquest narrative of sex and their own internal understanding of pleasure. Her book was written about both cis and trans men, and covers the whole spectrum of sexual orientations, backgrounds, and experiences.

TU138: What if it’s You that’s the Difficult One? Holding Your Own Challenging Personality Traits (6 of 6)

Thu, 10 Dec 2020 06:56:09 +0000

So we've been studying how to hold our own with challenging people, but what if you become aware that that difficult person is you? Cringe. Yea, us too, we get it. We summarize and review the series and focus on how to change your life for the better. Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley take you along on some personal examples of being difficult themselves.

TU137: Holding Your Own S5, Malignant Narcissism (5th in a series)

Mon, 30 Nov 2020 05:58:25 +0000

Accusations are their confessions. In this episode learn why we elect, promote, excuse and love those with malignant narcissist tendencies. Sort out the other forms of self-involvement, psychopathology and anti-social traits from this dangerous personality structure. Sue & Ann finish out their series on Holding Your Own with Challenging Personality Traits - this is session 5 of 6. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com

TU136: Holding Your Own S4 -“Borderline” Traits (4th in a series)

Wed, 18 Nov 2020 22:32:58 +0000

When does sensitivity cross the line into clinical reactivity? Borderline traits, or those with highly reactive personalities, are another common challenge in relationship that we might need support to navigate well. Today's episode sees co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott unpack high reactivity through a caring and developmental approach. Together, they discuss how these dynamics and traits arise, what they look like, and what we can do when we find ourselves in relationships with them. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

TU135: Holding Your Own Session 3 – Covert Narcissism (3rd in a Series)

Tue, 10 Nov 2020 07:00:38 +0000

When does self-consciousness and self-reflection cross the line into self-preoccupation? Covert narcissism is also called thin-skinned, vulnerale, depressed or closet narcissism. It's a real thing but unlike grandiosity, it's quite hard to spot! Think about it - if you feel when you walk in a room everyone is looking at you - admiringly or judgmentally, either way - that is a narcissistic fantasy. Today's episode follows the other side of grandiosity. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

TU134: Holding Your Own Session 2, Grandiose Narcissism has Met it’s Match (2nd in a series)

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 06:00:34 +0000

Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities - staying secure in relationship with those high in narcissistic, borderline or anti-social traits. Session 2 - Staying secure in connection with one kind of narcissism: grandiose narcissism Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott have launched a new series titled “Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities.” Together, they’ll unpack how to navigate strained relationships during and after this pandemic. The goal of this series is to bring you the skills and practices that you can use right now to get to secure relating and if not that, helping you ground and stay in your secure self no matter what is swirling around you. If you want to start at the beginning, listen to the first in the series: TU132 HYO Session 1: Messy But Secure Relating Grandiose Narcissism Today's episode breaks down one of 3 types of narcissism, and later in the series they will address the other kinds. There’s always a judgement, even if the verdict is positive, there is an evaluation happening. Difference between self-aggrandizing moment and more problematic self-oriented relating - one is environmentally influenced, the other is just the way it is, always. You value people for what they can do for you, it's a transaction noi a real relationship. Trouble with: Apologies Gratitude Greek version of the myth: Narcissus, was the son of River God Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and he was loved by God Apollo due to his extraordinary physique. Narcissus was once walking by a lake or river and decided to drink some water; he saw his reflection in the water and was surprised by the beauty he saw; he became entranced by the reflection of himself. He could not obtain the object of his desire though, and he died at the banks of the river or lake from his sorrow. According to the myth Narcissus is still admiring himself in the Underworld, looking at the waters of the Styx. Narcissistic Extension This is when we have learned to support the other person’s ego by giving them what we know that they want. As kids we get highly skilled at reading a scene, knowing the unspoken and responding as wished. This is part of what causes the injury to the self, because in the midst of all that, where the heck are You? If a child turns to their own needs and that parent feels that as a Break and is activated by it, it’s suddenly unsafe to tune in to their disapproval or distance. So we’d rather give ourselves up than lose our connection. Defenses in Grandiose Narcissism Idealization and devaluation - to be close you tend to be in one of these spots, and they can flip really fast. It's an outward expression of assumptions they may be making about themselves and their own value. Shame core but not conscious. Narcissistic supply - people are used to fill you up but then are expendable. They may report high self-esteem and low neuroticism because they don't carry a lot of conscious internal conflict. The conflict - if any - is interpersonal which is WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO HOLD ON TO YOUR SECURE SELF. Holding on to Secure Self Take a deep breath, and whatever you do... Don't project relationality into someone non-relational, it's bad for both. See them as they actually are, and that can be painful. It's courageous though, and the beginning of taking your evaluation of what you are getting from this person and what you need. Don't put up with demeaning, devaluing or abusing you. Standing up to them can be dangerous in various ways, but for now we will focus on relational / emotional danger. There is a feeling of threat to differentiate, and you might get cut off, but having a Self is the only way to move it into a more secure relational dynamic. Otherwise they have no incentive to change because internally they see themselves doing pretty dang good. Disabuse them of this delusion. Hold you, also hold them, and stay strong.

TU133: Holding Your Own 1: Messy but Secure Relating

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 19:51:18 +0000

First in a series Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities - this episode unpacks the 5 types of conflict in couples, conditions to develop security and cornerstones of what makes secure functioning couples secure. This sets up our later episodes on the various types of narcissism, misunderstood borderline relating, antisocial and malignant narcissism, unconscious defenses for everyone involved, suspected causes of high reactivity or impaired empathy, and a focus all along on what you can do to improve your circumstances - whatever that means for you.

TU132: Crisis Exhaustion – Hang in There, it’s Going to Be OK (Eventually) If We Stick Together

Thu, 08 Oct 2020 20:29:19 +0000

Together we can protect our hearts from freezing in bitterness, drowning in sorrow, lashing out in justified rage or worse, disconnecting. Fight the exhaustion that comes with the relentless crises surrounding us now.

TU131 – Strange Situation: Surprising Attachment Science Uncovered, with Bethany Saltman

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 04:44:52 +0000

People are profoundly bad at predicting their own attachment status, and if you are trying to do that you are headed in the right direction. :) That sort of mindful inquiry is part of attachment security - learn more in today's episode. Bethany Saltman and Sue Marriott discuss the Strange Situation, the original attachment research by Mary Ainsworth. They bring to life what it means and how to see it in everyday life.

TU130 – The Deep Biology of Love – Oxytocin Unpacked, with Research Pioneer Dr. Sue Carter

Tue, 08 Sep 2020 07:00:48 +0000

Love is not a soft feeling, it is "deep biology." Oxytocin research pioneer Dr. Sue Carter joins co-host Sue Marriott to unravel the mystery of Sue's favorite neuropeptide. You may have heard of oxytocin in the popular press, it's often called that "love drug." You'll hear that t's story is a bit more complicated than just that, as it also helps us protect and defend from intruders, and heals our body physically. www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.

TU129 – Transformative Psychedelic Experiences With and Without Drugs, with Special Guest, Trey Ratcliff

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 06:00:41 +0000

What if you could get the benefits of therapeutic psychedelics without ingesting any drugs?! Trey Ratcliff's new art creations, Machine Elves, may just have such an answer with non-drug, mind-expanding experiences that can help us heal. In this concluding episode of Season 4, co-host Sue Marriott is joined by photographer, artist and consciousnesses-raiser Trey Ratcliff. They dive right into the exotic world of mind-enhancing experiences. This includes both psychedelics but also non-drug experiences that can bring the promising results that are emerging from carefully studied psychedelic research.

TU128 – Helping the Intense Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach

Wed, 12 Aug 2020 05:25:47 +0000

Children with high emotional intensity or behavioral struggles can overwhelm any parent or system. In this episode, we’ll go over where many parents go wrong, what we can do instead, and how shifts in our strategies can revolutionize our households.

TU127 Grandma Heals: Community-Based Mental Health Care from Zimbabwe with Dr. Ruth Verhey

Tue, 04 Aug 2020 06:00:19 +0000

The Friendship Bench -discover the 3-step community-based program that is has proven to be an effective non-traditional model of mental health care delivery. In this episode, researcher and program director Dr. Ruth Verhey joins co-host Sue Marriott to discuss this community-based intervention, the Friendship Bench. Together they explore the benefits and barriers to building a community-driven and cooperative approach to mental health. By looking at what makes it effective, we can begin to explore what makes therapy effective in general and learn from the need to strip away the "extra" that may not add value to mental healthcare.

TU126 – What Do We Mean by Modern Attachment? Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley Discuss

Thu, 23 Jul 2020 21:36:30 +0000

Pausing the riches of the guest interviews, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley are back to discuss what has changed in the attachment field. They share what makes it modern anyway, review the science, and discuss their Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS). They also cover best practices for getting through online therapy. Learn more at Therapist Uncensored www.therapistuncensored.com and get full shownotes here.

TU125 – Dan Siegel & Tina Payne-Bryson: Parenting Under Stress

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 21:44:26 +0000

We’re all struggling with some uncertainty and fear right now, and as a parent it can often be especially hard to know how to raise a child during the rise of Coronavirus. Learn the cheat code to parenting in a pandemic with Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson as they join co-host Sue Marriott to unpack their new book The Power of Showing Up. In this episode they break down the science behind attachment in parenting, and share what it means to show up. Applicable not just with children but in all relationships, their four pillars of attachment can change the way we relate to ourselves, and each other, for the better.

TU124 – Hip Hop as Therapy: Beat Making, Lyrics & Community Empowerment

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 06:00:18 +0000

Hip hop can be used as creative tool to resolve the deep need for self-expression and trauma in black and brown communities. Song writers in hip hop culture are some of the greatest writers of our generation, they can use in depth metaphor, satire, and word play to express widely shared feelings. This process literally gives a voice to experiences that are otherwise unexplainable and can be used to build community. Guests Dr. Eliot Gann and Dr. Raphael Travis show us the way -

TU123 – Narratives of Fear: George Floyd, Protest, and Community Empowerment with Dr. Raphael Travis

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 23:11:43 +0000

George Floyd. Breanna Taylor. Tony McDade. Sandra Bland. Rayshard Brooks. Tamir Rice. Emmett Till. The violence enacted by the criminal justice system isn’t new, so what makes this moment feel so different? Dr. Raphael Travis joins co-host Ann Kelley to break down the now global protests against the murder of George Floyd. Together they explore the role of youth empowerment, coronavirus, and narrative storytelling in helping fuel the biggest social movement in decades.

TU122: Loving & Living with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (or ADHD) with Ari Tuckman

Tue, 19 May 2020 14:00:00 +0000

When we think of ADHD, we often imagine a restless & figity child who loses focus rather than the grown up parent or partner these kids eventually become. It is a legit neurological condition - yet adults with ADHD or ADD often believe that they are forgetful, lazy, selfish & disorganized. Unfortunately sometimes so do their partners. This episode will help you apprecitate your unique gifts or value your distractable partner.

TU121: Redefining the Purpose of Relationships During Quarantine with Stan Tatkin

Fri, 08 May 2020 18:00:00 +0000

With the tsunami of unclear and contradictory yet potentially life-threatening information coming at us right now - it's no wonder there is so much conflict within groups that are/were quarantining together. Reasonable people can interpret the suggestions very differently, in this episode we go into how to navigate how to manage right now.

TU120: Finding Security and Healing Attachment with Dr. David Elliott

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 14:00:00 +0000

Is this pandemic making your nervous system crunchy? Learn about healing attachment and how to use one of the Elliott and Brown's 3 pillars of healing attachment to cope during this society-wide emotional hotbox. Using the first pillar of the three pillars of healing attachment, using the imaginings of your mind to leverage security, David explains how this practice can be beneficial during a time where we're looking for connection to regulate and heal.

TU119: For the Love of Men, Rethinking Masculinity with Liz Plank

Wed, 08 Apr 2020 14:00:00 +0000

It isn't a war between the genders, it's a war between those interested in freedom of individual expression and equality, and those wedded to and defending the patriarchal script.

TU118: Mental Health Support During this Damn Coronavirus Pandemic

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 14:00:00 +0000

Calm is contagious, too! Coping through Coronavirus. Our hearts hurt for those affected by COVID. Those who are ill, survivors of those taken by the virus, service employee's continuing to work, front-line medical and science warriors, those who lost their job or savings, those who are isolated alone and those stuck at home in harsh relationships or with kids out of school and needy... it's all relative. It doesn't help to compare pain - pain is pain - we all need support through this coronavirus pandemic. Period. So let's clasp hands and co-regulate one another through this as best we can. In this episode, Sue and Ann discuss how we are collectively processing the coronavirus pandemic and provide some tools on how we can regulate our emotions during these coronavirus times. We are having experiences that are creating emotions that we do not normally have from a day-to-day basis and will have to understand how to process. Get the Facts but don't Rubber-Neck (southern term I think, slowing down and looking hard at a wreck on the freeway even though you don't really want to see). Use social media purposefully, don't get hooked watching the stats there is nothing to see there that will help us cope. It's being covered each time as new news, so our nervous system stays in alert. Limit social media and create your bubble of safety. Use sources you trust and don't act from rumors. Name your feelings - identify the specific source rather than live in ocean of free-floating anxiety. Better to be afraid for your mom or your 401 K than feel the weight of anxiety globally. Connect socially as part of your ADL's - activities of daily living. Breathing Techniques - Breathing in for a count of 5 and exhaling for a count of 5. Imagery - Imagining a sense of calm and safety in your environment and community. Use your mind to soothe and comfort yourself - this is neuroscience and it actually works! Add a safe person, place or animal that comforts you. Perspective matters - this will end. Interconnectedness - We are all experiencing this collectively. You are not alone. The virus does not discriminate it's a great equalizer even though we aren't equally effected (it hits marginalized communities hardest). Know what you can and cannot control - We cannot predict what will happen. We can control what we focus on, what information and how much information we are consuming. Our global actions can have a global impact. World Health Organization RAIN by Tara Brock Recognize what is happening; Allow the experience to be there, just as it is; Investigate with interest and care; Nurture with self-compassion. APPLE Acknowledge the thought that comes to mind. Pause your reaction and breathe. Pull back and understand that thoughts are not always your own. Let go of the thought or feeling. Explore the present moment. Stop. Touch. Go. Resources and Links to recent articles: Trusted resources TU64: Mindfulness Meditation with Yoga Therapist Kelly Inselman TU63: Living with Cancer – The Six Principles of Emotional Healing with Guest Kelly Inselmann TU52: Using Mindfulness, Movement and Yoga to Manage Arousal, with Guest Kelly Inselmann Our course on Attachment and Neuroscience has been recently released and is now available! And, since you are deep into these show notes then you are one of us, so get 10% off by putting in code OURCLAN. 🙂 While this course is utilized heavily by clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. It is a full 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION ______ Want to help us keep going? We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales (very fun swag!) to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.

TU117: Resilience Trauma and the Brain W/ Guest Bruce Perry MD, PhD

Fri, 13 Mar 2020 20:15:00 +0000

In this episode, co-host Sue Marriott speaks with Dr. Bruce Perry, a renowned neuroscientist, psychiatrist, clinician and researcher on children's mental health. They discuss staging intervention based on brain develop in a technique called the Neurosequential Model, resilience and trauma.

TU116: Fight Flight Freeze … and “Fawn”?? Can People-Pleasing Be a Sign of Trauma?

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 14:00:00 +0000

Freeze Appease Dissociate... Appease is Fawning when it comes to C-PTSD Are you a huge people-pleaser, conflict avoider, peace-keeper? Maybe you are just being nice, but if you are compelled to do it, driven to not take up much space, to not impose... and you don't have much of a choice about it, there may be something deeper going on. If so, today's episode talks to you, friend. If you haven’t joined us in the 30-Day Challenge, you can start at any time by CLICKING HERE! No sales, no gimmicks, just 4 supportive email over a month to support you in changing an emotional health habit that no longer works for you. Shout out to all those on the 30-day Challenge! You've been getting a series of emails.... this show discusses a topic that will help MANY of you with your personal emotional growth challenge. Fawning This is actually an old term coined by Peter Walker in 2003 discussing Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs and demands of others. They act as if they unconsciously believe that the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of all their needs, rights, preferences and boundaries. - Peter Walker on his website. You may be familiar with fight flight and freeze - the 3 common threat responses that our autonomic nervous system unconsciously engages when it perceives danger. If not, there is a TON of information about this in many previous episodes of Therapist Uncensored. We are interested because it affects how we relate to others and makes us act really stupid at times. :) Well, it's smart from an old survival perspective but can be really bone-headed in our adult lives when the reaction is triggered and yet the threat doesn't warrant such survival response. Well, when we can't escape the trauma and thus fighting or fleeing isn't an option, our bodies will freeze, appease or dissociate. The appease portion of the response is what Walker refers to as "Fawn." It is another survival response which is often associated with complex post-traumatic stress disorder. It occurs when survivors recognize danger signals and stay safe by complying and minimizing confrontation. Freeze, Appease or Dissociate - Fawning refers to Appease. People-pleasing Being unable to say how you really think or feel Caring for others to your own detriment Always saying “yes” to requests Flattering others Struggling with low self-esteem Avoiding conflict Feeling taken advantage of Being very concerned about fitting in with others Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder C-PTSD Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationships Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience has been recently released and is now available (wahoo)! Since you are now deep into these shownotes, then you are one of us, use the code OURCLAN for an immediate discount for the course. While this course is popular with clinicians (CE’s available!), it is also for all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationship!. 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION Dive in and get more involved – join us on Patreon! Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for as little as $5 a month! Increase your access, join a kick-ass like-minded community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. BOOK of the MONTH Maybe You Should Talk to Someone– A Therapist, HER Therapist and a Life Revealed, by Lori Gottlieb. If you are looking for something to inspire you – make you laugh – tear up a bit and generally move towards being a better human this is the book we are recommending this mo...

TU115: Improving Your Emotional Health – the Challenge & the Update with Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 14:00:00 +0000

30-Day Emotional Health Challenge Update In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss their progress in their 30-Day Emotional Health Challenge. If you haven’t joined us in the 30-Day Challenge, you can start today by CLICKING HERE! No sales no gimmicks, just support for you to change! Positive, Humbling, and Frickin’ Hard Ann discuses the positive activation around sharing and discussing the 30-Day Emotional Health Challenge. Sue shares about the Challenge of the Emotional Health Challenge A bit ambitious because it is a deeply held unconscious learning Working on Changing Adaptations From Early Childhood The consensus in the Facebook group and among our Patrons is that we're picking something that was an adaptation from our early life. It was important that we learn to do it, but it's not necessarily helping us now. The problem is it was laid down in our bodies so early and really without conscious thought, so even just thinking about it doesn't necessarily change it. Instead, we adapt to it, repress it, etc. This leads to a cycle of recognizing something, acknowledging that it isn’t working, and then repeating the behavior, which is induces shame. Relief and Frustration These behaviors are implicit (unconscious) not explicit (conscious), which makes them really hard to change. The Process: Community connection Trying to teach ourselves to do something new Picking one thing, not everything, with love, compassion, and curiosity Examine the symptom or behavior that is no longer serving us Just learning about it and becoming more aware Not trying to repress or change it Try something new and continue to learn Are we resistant to changing? Reluctant to give up the old behavior? Etc Adjusting the Emotional Health Goal Sue discusses the zig-zag process of scaling her goal up and down based on her exploration process and how her thoughts about it changed after attending a conference with Bruce Eckert on Memory Reconsolidation. Two Particularly Helpful Takeaways From the Conference We can’t know our unconscious Sue tests out whether or not The Memory Reconsolidation Technique is something we can do alone Because the behavior is implicit, it comes from the unconscious, so there is no way to see it by ourselves. But we can still move it by being curious about our responses and what comes up in the feelings of threat. Seeing the effects of the implicit coming out in our explicit reactions and working to get more comfortable with it invites it in more. State Dependent Learning When we're in a regulated state, we have access to all this great knowledge and learned information. As we get into a dysregulated state, the neural network shifts and it becomes a different learning. We really actually kind of lose contact for a moment with that more reflective stance. Especially if we come from a neglect or a trauma background or had tough things in life or had adversity. We have these learnings that are on their own neural network. Neural Networks and Changing Symptomatic Behavior There are 2 different neural circuits, and the only way to change the symptomatic behavior is to access the other neural circuit. This has to do with activation, so we have to actually feel the feelings to improve emotional health. How Do We know What’s Changing? It starts with the behavior starts with the symptom. In recognizing the symptom that you want to shift, you've gone much more internal and you've named one part of it. In exploring it, we are un-layering it, and we’re smack dab on our which is to to go deeper and shift to more of a sense of security inside of you. Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationships Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience...

TU114: Take the 30 Day Emotional Health Challenge!

Tue, 04 Feb 2020 05:28:00 +0000

Sue & Ann laughing at themselves, probably at our bumbling efforts on our 30-day emotional health challenge! Enough theory – it’s time to choose JUST ONE emotional health goal to work on for the next 30 days. Let go of what no longer serves you. Join us for our 30-day emotional health challenge! In this episode, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP are walking the walk. They personally challenge you to pick one thing to work on for the next 30 days – something challenging but within reach. Show Notes - 30 day emotional health challenge Backstory It’s February – this is not a new years resolution because they typically don’t work past about now. You hear about weight loss goals and fitness goals, but the most life-changing skills for long-term happiness and health is actually having close relationships. No matter how secure you are, how much therapy you have had, what letters are behind your name or how old you are, there is always something we can do to improve our sense of ourself and our close relationships. You pick! We give lots of ideas but the upshot is you know your own bad emotional habits. Self -Inventory With love and compassion first – reflect on what you know you need to work on Pick something that if you could change, it would have real meaning to you Pick something that is clear enough to be measurable – if others can see it that’s even better Tell someone what you are doing – gain accountability When you fail, this is a true challenge, remember? When you fail learn a bit more about what happened, where the bad habit or self talk is coming from, what triggers the behavior and ideas for intervention Earned Security and Internal Working Maps – Reviewed What is emotional health? Ann & Sue’s personal challenges Ann shares her personal 30 day challenge goal and how it developed – implicit emotional learning Sue shares her 30 day emotional challenge goal and what her implicit emotional learning she’s trying to unlearn and replace with something more adaptive for today How to identify your old IWM (adaptations to your early environment that are usually based on things that are no longer true) and replace them with new, more accurate IWM Earning Security – a cool club to be a part of 🙂 Examples of what you might try based on where you fall on the Attachment-Regulation Spectrum Resources for this Episode – Recommended Books Self Compassion Workbook A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer Neuroscience of Human Relationships by Lou Cozolino Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationships Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience has been recently released and is now available (wahoo)! Since you are now deep into these shownotes, then you are one of us, use the code OURCLAN for an immediate discount for the course. This course is popular with clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION Dive in and get more involved – join us on Patreon! Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for as little as $5 a month! Increase your access, join a kick-ass like-minded community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. BOOK of the MONTH Maybe You Should Talk to Someone– A Therapist, HER Therapist and a Life Revealed, by Lori Gottlieb. If you are looking for something to inspire you – make you laugh – tear up a bit and generally move to...

TU113: Integrating Self-Defense, Neuroscience and Affirmative Consent to Build Empowerment and Heal Trauma

Thu, 23 Jan 2020 14:36:00 +0000

“Yes means yes is the new no means no!” Often we doubt our gut instinct, question our right to take up space in the world, and live governed by fear -especially when we’ve experienced trauma. Meet the Safety Team, a group of ordinary women doing extraordinary work teaching women how to build resiliency and re-claim their sense of agency. In this episode, Co-host Dr Ann Kelley joins this powerful group of women as they teach us how to find our voice, feel more present and powerful in our bodies, build resilience, and heal trauma. Who is The Safety Team? Christine DiBlasio, Ph.D., is the president and co-founder of The Safety Team, as well as a 4th degree black belt in Karate. For over 15 years, Dr. DiBlasio has coordinated and presented workshops on violence prevention, risk reduction, and self-advocacy skills to middle, high school and college students, as well as to community and corporate organizations. She has been instrumental in curriculum development, with a strong focus on serving survivors of interpersonal violence and trauma so as to promote healing. In addition, Dr. DiBlasio created a college and high school internship program and continues to provide leadership training to these interns as well as to an expanding group of volunteers. Dr. DiBlasio’s dedication to the Safety Team is an outgrowth of both her background in martial arts as well as her extensive experience as a practicing licensed psychologist with 30 years of clinical experience. Dr. DiBlasio is the clinical director of a large mental health outpatient practice, and in the context of this work, has provided psychotherapy services for survivors of interpersonal violence, trauma and sexual assault across the lifespan. Darcy Richardson, MS, is a forensic toxicologist and Vice-President of The Safety Team, a 501(c)3 non-profit focused on the empowerment of women and the reduction of sexual violence. As a toxicologist she has provided expert testimony in over a thousand cases in both criminal and civil courts at the state and federal level. These cases have included assault and sexual assaults where her expertise is used to discuss the impact of alcohol and drugs on the ability to consent or to react effectively in dangerous situations. As part of The Safety Team she uses this expertise to teach women about Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault (DFSA), and how to effectively navigate this risk. Research indicates that half of all sexual assault cases involve alcohol and/or other drugs, which means addressing DFSA in Empowerment Self-Defense (ESD) classes and curricula is an integral part of reducing the incidence of sexual violence overall. Darcy is a 2nd degree black belt in Karate and a 1st degree black belt in Arnis. Christina Allard, PT, is the volunteer coordinator, and instructor for The Safety Team, Inc. and a licensed Physical Therapist specializing in pediatrics and school-based therapy. She pursued additional training in childhood trauma and its impacts on development. She incorporates her knowledge of neuromuscular and somatic responses to develop movement strategies for emotional regulation in children and teenagers. Her interest in the therapeutic effects of movement sparked her interest in martial arts (brown belt in Karate) and her ongoing commitment to the empowerment model of The Safety Team. Nancy Keller, MEd, CAS, is the treasurer, co-founder, and lead instructor for The Safety Team, Inc. and a licensed public-school educator with Winooski (VT) School District for more than 30 years. With expertise in curriculum development and instruction, she has created middle school programs for place-based learning in science and mathematics, as well as implemented a school-wide classroom-based program for physical activity. This program was designed to address the movement needs of those children who have experienced trauma, and was built upon her background in the martial arts (3rd degree black belt in Karate ...

TU112: The Life-Changing Science of Memory Reconsolidation with Guests Bruce Ecker & Tori Olds

Tue, 07 Jan 2020 10:42:00 +0000

Tori Olds with Deep Eddy Psychotherapy Learn to apply the advances in neuroscience to our lives in a real way – we all want to be able to do that, right? This episode delivers on that for sure – memory reconsolidation is changing how therapists practice and explains why those lightbulb moments can actually transform us if done correctly. 🙂 In this episode, Powerhouse clinicians Tori Olds and Bruce Ecker join co-host Sue Marriott in a discussion on how memory reconsolidation brings awareness to old maps and traumatic emotional learning and gives us a clean slate on which to build new learning pathways. Saturday February 15, 2020: Introduction to Coherence Therapy, Austin, TX Who is Bruce Ecker? Bruce Ecker, MA, LMFT is co-originator of Coherence Therapy and coauthor of Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Eliminating Symptoms at Their Roots Using Memory Reconsolidation; the Coherence Therapy Practice Manual & Training Guide; and Depth Oriented Brief Therapy: How To Be Brief When You Were Trained To Be Deep and Vice Versa. Clarifying how transformational change takes place is the central theme of Bruce Ecker’s clinical career, and he has contributed many innovations in concepts and methods of experiential psychotherapy. Since 2006 he has driven the clinical field’s recognition of memory reconsolidation as the core process of transformational change and has developed the application of this brain research breakthrough to advancements in therapeutic effectiveness and psychotherapy integration. Bruce is a frequent presenter at conferences and workshops internationally, has taught extensively in clinical graduate programs, and is in private practice in New York City Who is Dr Tori Olds? Tori Olds, PhD is a psychologist in private practice in Austin, Texas. She is a co-owner of Deep Eddy Psychotherapy, a counseling center housing seventeen clinicians. She specializes in working with trauma, particularly attachment trauma, and utilizing mindfulness and self-compassion as a resource for personal growth. Alongside her clinical work, she has a passion for training therapists in experiential ways of working. She leads a number of study groups and is developing 10 online courses focused on helping clinicians develop experiential skills, as well as understand human development from an evolutionary, neurobiological, and attachment lens. Show Notes Meeting Tori Olds and Bruce Ecker Tori Olds: Clinician and leader of a training group on how to integrate experiential psychotherapies (AEDP, PACT, Somatic Experiencing) Bruce Ecker: Clinician and author of “Unlocking the Emotional Brain” Emotional Learning Emotional learning happens much as a Pavlovian response We often learn without awareness and become prisoners of emotional learning Emotional truths are a powerful mental model how of how the world works that we don’t often realize are there Low self-esteem works as a protective, adaptive tactic By bringing awareness to these learnings, we can de-pathologize them (therapists can help facilitate this) and begin the disconfirmation process Memory reconsolidation Memory reconsolidation: the brain’s built-in, natural way of using new learning to directly update and re-encode existing old learning This process targets emotional learning Memory reconsolidation can serve as a “unifying framework for the psychotherapy field, which has been so fragmented” Therapeutic Contexts of Memory Reconsolidation Coherence therapy, as well as many other different therapeutic models, can produce transformational change through memory reconsolidation Three stages: 1) Discovery 2) Integration 3) Juxtaposition Resources Primer on Memory Reconsolidation – PDF – READ THIS if you want more! Unlocking the Emotional Brain –– Bruce Ecker Coherence Therapy Practice Manual – Bruce Ecker Depth Oriented Brief Therapy – Bruce Ecker Memory Reconsolidation in Psychotherapy: The Neuropsychotherapist Special...

TU111: Navigating Narcissistic Relationships – Gaslighting Manipulation and Grandiosity Called Out

Tue, 24 Dec 2019 02:12:00 +0000

You deserve better!! Are you lost in a narcissistic relationship? The term narcissism is easily tossed around, especially in this world of selfies. However if you are deeply connected to someone with the personality disorder narcissism it is a very real, painful and a seriously disruptive experience. It is also surprisingly difficult to identify when you are immersed in it, and difficult to disengage the pattern of supporting their world-view. We break it down here!

TU110: Story Follows State – Investigating Polyvagal Theory with Guest Deb Dana

Thu, 05 Dec 2019 02:49:00 +0000

When we have an anchor in ventral, we can then go visit sympathetic and dorsal without being hijacked by it. In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, Co-host Sue Marriott explores the intersection of Polyvagal Theory, neuroscience, and attachment with Deb Dana. We will investigate how the mind creates stories from information relayed by the nervous system, and how we can rewrite the script to move toward security. Meeting Deb Dana Deb Dana is a clinician and consultant who works with trauma She has a training program called the Rhythm of Regulation Goals of this: understand the nervous system and help people become active operators of their own system Story Follows State The mind narrates what the nervous system knows Therapeutic goal: bringing explicit awareness to implicit processes Neuroception: our nervous system has a response to what is going on in the world and looks to others for cues of safety and danger The brain tries to make sense of what is happening in the body on a physiological level by making up a story Many of us have nervous systems that are shaped by experiences to be wary of connection; this is something that we work on shifting in therapy The Nervous System and Attachment The nervous system services our survival and sets the stage for attachment We have two survival states: Sympathetic: mobilized, energetic state- we see red folks here! Dorsal vagal collapse: immobilized, disconnected state- we see blue folks here! The Hopefulness in Polyvagal Theory “Experience shapes the nervous system and ongoing experience reshapes the nervous system” When shame reduces, curiosity arises The Autonomic Ladder It can be helpful to identify where you currently stand on the ladder, as well as track where you are going on the ladder Ladder orientation from top down- ventral vagal (anchored state), sympathetic (activated state), dorsal (collapsed state) Take Home Tips Use your voice! Intonation before information. We send cues of safety or danger through our tone of voice. Each nervous system is different in how it comes back into repair, and it changes over time. In a ventral state, there is community. If you’re in trouble, go social! (i.e. send a text, make that phone call, reassure yourself) Who is Deb Dana? Deb Dana, LCSW is a clinician and consultant specializing in working with complex trauma and is Coordinator of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium in the Kinsey Institute. She developed the Rhythm of Regulation Clinical Training Series and lectures internationally on ways Polyvagal Theory informs work with trauma survivors. Deb is the author of The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation and co-edited, with Stephen Porges, Clinical Applications of the Polyvagal Theory: The Emergence of Polyvagal-Informed Therapies. Resources: Beginner’s Guide to Polyvagal Theory Using the Autonomic Ladder to Work with Perfectionism The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation Rhythm of Regulation Website Stephen Porges’s and Deb Dana’s Coauthored Book Who doesn’t love special offers? Our advanced course on attachment and neuroscience has been recently released and is now available for a discounted price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales (very fun swag!) to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare. We can only do that with the help of our Neuronerd private community. By joining as a Neuronerd premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content and first shot at very unique study oppo...

TU109: THIS is Resilience in Action With Guest Alphanso Appleton

Fri, 22 Nov 2019 12:00:00 +0000

Resilience in real-life from a non-Western perspective. (Cover photo, Appleton took responsibility for feeding kids in his village by diving and spearing food from the sea.) “And if there’s any other person that is going through mental health problems or a very hard time in their life, or they have been through something really bad… I just want them to know that they’re not alone.” Alphanso Appleton In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored on Trauma and Resilience, Alphanso Kwame Appleton, a Liberian native, shares his experiences of growing up in a country devastated by civil war, living through the Ebola epidemic, and tragically losing his young daughter. Despite these repeated experiences of trauma, he is healing and has found purpose in his life. This is an incredible story that absolutely captures what resilience looks like and we are pleased that his recovery did not rely on traditional Western approaches. We have so much to learn. Interview by Sue Marriott. Meeting Alphonso Meeting in Liberia through Strongheart and by happenstance, through the work of Dan Siegel. Mentoring youth Surfing Photography Life in Liberia The Liberian Civil War Escaping to Monrovia Child Soldiers Lack of education “Iron Lady” How the love and faith of Alphanso’s grandmother, whom he describes as an “Iron Lady”, protected him from rebel recruitment of child soldiers The Effects of Lack of Education Effects on Society Effect on healthcare industry – and him personally regarding the loss of his daughter The Ebola Epidemic The lack of belief and understanding that Ebola was real The spread of Ebola Alphanso’s photo that went viral thanking science for the Ebola vaccine “…maybe my photo will help young Liberians know science helps the world and become scientists too.” – Photographer Alphanso Appleton Personal Tragedy The loss of Alphanso’s 18 month old daughter, Lisa. Alphanso’s Healing Journey Faith Strongheart – learning a meditation practice Surfing The Universal Language of Photography Resilience through expression of emotion through photos “The Liberia Project” by Apartial featuring Alphanso Appleton “Portraits of Progress” by Alphanso Appleton Moving Forward Current and future endeavors Misconceptions about Africa Words of wisdom “Overall, it’s just finding something you love – something you love doing- something that brings you joy; something that makes you happy. Because that was a really key part of my transformation. That was a really key part of my healing.” Alphanso Appleton Other episodes you may enjoy: TU91: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection TU33: Adverse Childhood Experiences: A Roadmap To Understanding And Treatment Resources “Alphanso Appleton: A Story of Becoming” The Making of Child Surfers, Not Child Soldiers Article in Global Citizen – Surfers Paint Liberia Strongminds.org Alphanso’s contact information alphanso19@gmail.com Who doesn’t love special offers? Our advanced course on attachment and neuroscience has been recently released and is now available for a discounted price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION We’re on Patreon! Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for as little as $5 a month! Increase your access, join our community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe! We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales (very fun swag!) to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.

TU108: Judgment and Self-Criticism Unchecked – a Great Interpersonal Defense

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 05:20:00 +0000

Judgment says more about the judg-er than the judg-ee. It’s not Judgement – Bad. It’s Judgment-Interesting. Everybody judges and in truth, we unconsciously evaluate good/bad all the time – both positively and negatively. It’s our brains appraisal system. However unchecked it’s also a very handy interpersonal defense. Today we explore one aspect of insecure functioning, unchecked judgment and harsh self-criticism. It is just one common insecure pattern to think in absolutes and moral righteousness, and before you judge judgers, those of us who’s favorite flavor is self-criticism and self-judgement please be warned that harsh scale extends quickly to those close to us. Fun times to grow and learn we tell ya!! In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored, Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott break down the big picture of attachment and take a deep dive into just one of the habits of insecure attachment – how we use judgment! Turn on your curiosity and notice your judgments as we go – it’s kinda fun, actually. The Pleasure of Judgement Description of what self-righteous judgment looks like presented in an anecdotal but accurate way. Quick Review Every human being has a system to manage threat. Blue – you down-regulate Red – you up-regulate The Role of Judgment Method of self-protection Response to a feeling of threat 2 types: self-righteous or self-critical Self-Righteous Judgment It’s a great feeling. What’s really going on underneath? Disconnection from threat in our own body Slowing down to experience what we are judging Fortified defense Not pathological, it’s protective Example of Blue Judgment Fear of Vulnerability Judging to keep at a distance Example of Red Judgment Telling others what they are doing wrong Judging to prevent expressing fear of abandonment underneath Non-Judgment Inability to create a judgment can be an indication that we can’t have a sense of self and an essence of threat, and that clearly defining ourselves is too vulnerable. (red-side of insecure spectrum, usually) Judgment Can Be A Healthy Protection Not all judgment is bad Explore it. Righteousness to Relationality Exploring the movie about Harriet Tubman The moral high road Righteousness as the lazy man’s way Making the move Effecting change while staying in the relationship Self-Judgment Also the lazy man’s road Same old negative thoughts No movement and no new neural pathways being built Keeps us stuck Moving from self-loathing to connection Putting our feet to the fire It’s not that it’s pathological – it’s information. We think it’s information about the other person, but really it can be a window into something more interesting if we open up to exploring it. Why do you judge THAT in particular? What parts of others make your skin crawl? Check if it’s disowned parts of yourself that you are attempting to distance from or stamp out in others. You see…. now it gets interesting and the door opens rather than slams close on the object of our scrutiny. Practice Noticing With Compassion Find your version of what it is that you’re judging. Have a little smile of humor when you catch yourself being judgmental Explore what’s underneath Resources Healing Your Attachment Wounds by Diane Pool Heller Healing Developmental Trauma Lawrence Heller Self-Compassion, the Hidden Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff Also check out TU73: Building Grit Through Self-Compassion with Kristin Neff Who doesn’t love special offers? Our course is now available for a deeply discounted early release price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are highly interested in deepening the security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. Price increases on October 22, 2019 when it is released to the wider public.

TU107: What is Somatic Experiencing With Guest Abi Blakeslee

Wed, 30 Oct 2019 09:01:00 +0000

Trauma is not a life sentence. We are rapidly learning what works to reverse the effects of stored injuries and today we will explore one treatment version of that, called Somatic Experiencing. First a shout out to a listener who connected us to our guest today, Ali Capurro – thank you! And to everyone else please note that we love these kinds of connections are always open to hear from you on who you think would deepen this conversation of earning security. In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored, co-host Sue Marriott explores Somatic Experiencing with Dr Abi Blakeslee. This interactive deep-dive takes you into the Somatic Experiencing process and provides hope and confirmation that healing trauma is possible through integrated treatment of the brain, the body, and the mind! The Foundations of Somatic Experiencing (SE) Founded by Dr Peter Levine – author of best-selling books “Waking the Tiger- Healing Trauma”, and “In an Unspoken Voice” SE is based on the study of how animals in the wild process and recover from stress and trauma. Focuses on working directly with the nervous system to help people reorganize the non-conscious survival adaptations developed by the sub-cortical or lower brain Definition of Somatic Experiencing the experience of body in the present moment. What SE Looks Like in Practice Present-centered because the healing happens in the here-and-now. It’s a process of following what is is happening in the body and taking a pause from the trauma content to down-regulate the amygdala to a state of safety before moving forward. “The trauma’s not in the event. It’s in the nervous system.” The Nervous System Getting “Unstuck” – Healing Trauma Through Body Awareness Pendulation – Peter Levine defines that as the expansion of contraction of all things moving between expanded States and contracted States. Orienting Exercise The Biological Model of the Threat Response Cycle Wild Animals Versus Humans During Threat Cycle: Orient – aware of something in environment Defensive Orienting – sense threat Moving Into Social Interaction – Moving Into Fight and Flight – these are active defense responses Increased sympathetic arousal, burst of movements, Moving Into Freeze – passive defense response Heart rate goes into a slow state like for hibernation. Digestion slows down, hello heart rate variability circulation. There’s nothing pumping to the arms and the legs, so everything shifts into this near death state Back to Exploratory Orienting Working With the Nervous System Tracking Sensation – describing sensations happening in the body as they are happening Noticing Movement Patterns – acknowledging the shifts that occur Completion of Defensive Responses – allowing the body to carry out the response desired (runnint, punching, kicking, etc) but VERY SLOWLY Sympathetic Discharge When Coming Out of Freeze or Down From High Sympathetic Charge Impala and the Baboon Video Grounding Exercise Neuroception vs Interoception Neuroception is the lower brain assessment of safety/threat in the environment. Interoception is the awareness of one’s own internal states and can be learned over time. Who is Dr Abi Blakeslee: Dr. Abi Blakeslee is faculty at the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute and Foundation for Human Enrichment. She is additionally Dr. Peter Levine’s legacy faculty at Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. Dr. Blakeslee holds a Ph.D. in Clinical and Somatic Psychology and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her dissertation, with a committee that included Dr. Daniel Siegel, generated original research on the role of implicit memory in healing trauma. Dr. Blakeslee integrates SE with clinical research, secondary trauma interventions, and the psychobiological principles of attachment and shock trauma. She treats individuals, couples, children and families in her clinical practice. Dr.

TU106: What Actually Heals in Therapy with Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams

Fri, 18 Oct 2019 00:08:00 +0000

Learn what actually works in therapy. It’s hard to verbalize the problem with “evidence-based” models of care, but renowned psychoanalyst and psychologist Nancy McWilliams does just that. She further describes what happens in quality depth-oriented therapies such as psychoanalytically-informed, attachment-oriented therapy, and integrates the neurobiological aspect that Freud started that has now been confirmed. Who is Nancy McWilliams? Nancy McWilliams, PhD, ABPP, is Visiting Professor in the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, and has a private practice in Flemington, New Jersey. She is on the editorial board of Psychoanalytic Psychology and has authored three classic books on psychotherapy, including the award-winning Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, Second Edition: Understanding Personality Structure in the Clinical Process. Dr. McWilliams is an Honorary Member of the American Psychoanalytic Association and a former Erikson Scholar at the Austen Riggs Center in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. She is a recipient of the Leadership and Scholarship Awards from Division 39 (Psychoanalysis) of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the Hans H. Strupp Award from the Appalachian Psychoanalytic Society, and delivered the Dr. Rosalee G. Weiss Lecture for Outstanding Leaders in Psychology for APA Division 42 (Psychologists in Independent Practice). She has demonstrated psychodynamic psychotherapy in three APA educational videos and has spoken at the commencement ceremonies of the Yale University School of Medicine and the Smith College School for Social Work. Show Notes – Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Therapy with Nancy McWilliams Psychoanalytic Perspective, Trauma & Attachment Based Treatment • Challenges – academic and scientific • Short term focused • Technique driven • However, deprives individuals of the time needed to establish secure attachment to therapist, develop motivation to change, feel root feelings, etc. • Psychoananalytic Perspective • Humanistic-evidence based relationships • Proving and disproving Freud Trauma treatment history • Long term Therapy Benefits • Devoted Therapist Negative Transference “Difficult patients” typically are the ones that evoke parts of ourselves that we don’t like. Our own ugliness, our own badness, all of that. And again, that goes back to long-term treatment, but also long-term treatment of ourselves, you know, as doing our own work and really, you know, a lifelong process. Research on non-verbal communications and what works in therapy. Learning the defenses and what lies underneath • Narcissism/soft toss • Borderline • what would you advise for people to get the most out of their therapy or any close relationship that they’re in? Do you have thoughts about that? If you enjoy this episode you may also enjoy these: TU105: Narcissism, What is Going On Under the Defense w Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley TU90: Avoidance and the Difficulty Opening Up with Guest Robert T. Muller TU41: The Dark Side Of Therapy: Recognizing When The Therapeutic Relationship Goes Bad Resources: Psychoanalytic Diagnosis by Nancy McWilliams (textbook for therapists and students) To Know and to Care – A_Review of Psychoanalysis by Nancy McWilliams A psychodynamic formulation masterclass by Nancy McWilliams In Conversation Wih Dr Nancy McWilliam The Therapeutic Presence In Psychoanalys by Nancy McWilliams Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed – Lori Gottlieb (Sue read this at Dr. McWilliams suggestion and found it hilarious, poignant and much like therapy occurs in real life. Highly recommended.) Who doesn’t love special offers? Our course is now available for a deeply discounted early release price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are highly interested in deepening the security in ...

TU105: Narcissism – What is Going on Under the Defense with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley

Thu, 03 Oct 2019 13:55:00 +0000

Hey everybody, we are BACK and ready to take off on Season 4!!! Wahoo! Narcissism – This time we focus on how it’s created and what is going on behind the narcissists defenses. Later we will address Malignant Narcissism, which is in a class all to itself! It deserves an entire episode, but for today we will look at what causes it, healthy and pathological degrees of it and what is really going on under the hood of the person afflicted with narcissism. We really heard the requests wanting to hear more about some of the diagnostic pieces of attachment, trauma and the relational sciences. Specifically, narcissism and borderline personality disorder are of great interest to many of you. We put our heads together about how to best do this in a way that honors those who are struggling with these issues and those in relationship with them. To do this, we are going to weave conversations about narcissism and borderline personality disorder throughout the season. It may be snippets in a podcast about something else, or entire episodes focused on these concerns. Today, we’re going to get started on narcissism. Greek version of the myth: Narcissus, was the son of River God Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and he was loved by God Apollo due to his extraordinary physique. Narcissus was once walking by a lake or river and decided to drink some water; he saw his reflection in the water and was surprised by the beauty he saw; he became entranced by the reflection of himself. He could not obtain the object of his desire though, and he died at the banks of the river or lake from his sorrow. According to the myth Narcissus is still admiring himself in the Underworld, looking at the waters of the Styx. Healthy Narcissism (!?) We all have some element of Narcissism and if we don’t, we get run over in life. We don’t want to be a doormat but we also don’t want to be on a High Horse above it all. We all have narcissism, it’s healthy entitlement. Functional narcissism is about your sense of Self, healthy entitlement and being inside yourself, and really rolling with who you are as a person. It’s being confident instead of being overly in-tune to others opinion of you. Problematic Narcissism If it’s a character trait rather than a moment in time, it’s all about defense. This defense protects the smallness and inadequacy and shame at it’s core, and to compensate, grandiosity is born. That or the opposite, which we will discuss, but if I attack the hell out of myself then I protect myself from you having less than positive feelings about me because I beat you to it. Basically, it’s about deriving self-esteem from outside affirmation in order to maintain internal validity. Narcissism is an injury to the Self, where we’ve had to give ourselves up in service of the other or blow ouselves up to feel “enough”. It is associated with the avoidant/dissmissing attachment category, or the blue side of the attachment spectrum. Narcissistic Tendencies Versus a Disorder (from a Psychologist’s Perspective) It’s only in the much higher degree and more rigid degree of the trait that we would call it disordered or problematic. This is NOT a judgment. We mean it’s problematic for the person who suffers from it and that it infiltrates most every relationship to a point that it significantly impairs daily functioning or social relationships. Not that a person with true Narcissistic personality disorder would notice this distress, because everyone around them are “stupid” or “the best.” You can imagine stupid one’s are differentiated from them and the best one’s reflect their version of themselves. Narcissistic Injury: Example: The blue side – (avoidance/dismissive attachment) is a defense, whether we live there or whether we travel there. When we feel very deeply vulnerable but can’t tolerate that experience, we pull into what we call a narcissistic defense to avoid an injury.

TU104: Attachment Science & the Single World With Becki Mendivil (Replay)

Wed, 25 Sep 2019 16:03:00 +0000

Are you sick of hearing about relationships but interested in attachment? (Or want to deepen your understanding of real world application of the relational sciences while you have a good laugh??!) All the single listeners (think Beyonce) heads up! We are going to break down attachment theory and apply the cool science for all of us…. Continuing in the series on adult attachment, co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP joins Becki Mendivil in a spunky conversation about how attachment affects someone who isn’t in a romantic relationship nor is seeking one, but simply as an individual and a human being. We’ll chat about personal experiences with attachment, how the relational sciences translate to work and parenting with a wide array of anecdotal examples, and dive into the essentials of not remaining in one spot on the attachment spectrum. Becki is self-described as “very blue” so this episode is especially great for those that linger on the avoidant end of the spectrum. Enjoy a great laugh and learn as it unfolds! If you like this you’ll want to be sure and listen to our attachment series, check out episodes 59, 60, and 61! Introduction The problem of assuming someone’s in or seeking a romantic relationship when discussing adult attachment Becki’s giving Therapist Uncensored hosts the what-what on how she reads what we’ve said so far Generational transference of attachment 15:00-30:00: Listening to “The Blue Episode” & Parenting Becki’s experience in listening to the avoidant attachment episode of Therapist Uncensored Seeing the light! Becki’s exeriments to test if this model is actually useful or not. Daughter example. Empathetic silliness unfolds. Sue’s anecdote about her son and changes in attachment Becki affecting change in her physical isolation at work – confronting Sue on therapizing her 🙂 30:00-45:00: Using the Relational Sciences at Work Becki’s wild move towards interacting more directly with peers (!) Avoiding attachment labels/categories as strict definitions of a person Navigating up and down the spectrum of attachment in response to varying types of threats 45:00-60:00: Diving Deeper Attachment disruptions Idea of the “corkscrew” Wrap up and outro Resources: Adult Attachment Styles in the Workplace – Harms, 2011 article Integrating attachment syle, vigor at work and extra-role performance at work -Little, et al 2011 article Individual differences in Work-Related Well Being, the Role of Attachment 2014 Who doesn’t love special offers? Our course is now available for a deeply discounted pre-sale purchase price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all are welcome to purchase the course. Price increases on October 16, 2019 when it is released. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION We’re on Patreon! Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for just $5 a month! Gain access to private, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. We’ve partnered with Audible! Our listeners get a free audiobook plus a 30-day free membership. Cancel at any time! GET MY FREE BOOK! Tweet

TU103: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection (Replay)

Thu, 15 Aug 2019 22:38:00 +0000

Have you ever just sat back and observed a small child as they learn something new? There is this profound sense of awe and wonder with each new discovery they make. Kids are naturally curious. As adults, we tend to take what we know about the world for granted. But, through the eyes of a child, the world is an exciting mystery just waiting to be discovered! What if we told you that it is possible to experience that childlike curiosity in your day-to-day life, starting right now? What if we also told you that curiosity is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have? Curiosity is much more than a quest for knowledge and is not as simple as it seems. In this episode of Therapist Uncensored: Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott, invite you to rediscover curiosity and experience the world and your relationships from a revitalized perspective! Why is Ann so obsessed with curiosity?! Childlike Wonder: Think about how a child sees things for the first time. It’s strictly curiosity. As we get older, the world becomes more predictable. Being “In the Know” vs “In the Unknown” When we think we know a lot, we limit ourselves. It takes a lot of security to be uncertain. The neuroscience of curiosity A willingness to embrace uncertainty and curiosity go hand in hand. Attachment, curiosity, and anxiety How does our attachment style affect our experience? If you feel bodily anxiety in the questions you’re asking, you’re probably not in the right state. How can we learn to become truly curious about someone in a loving way if we lean towards the blue or red side of the spectrum? If we’re on the blue side of the spectrum, how can we move out to a place where we’re curious. If we’re on the red side, how do we move from asking questions out of anxiety to asking out of curiosity? People who are curious about you are attractive, and we can tell the difference if they’re not really interested. You get to be curious about your therapist. Tips to cultivate curiosity: Train your brain Be aware of what’s happening in your body Recognizing judgment Are you judging people when they speak instead of listening to them? This is a kind of cognitive closure. Slow down and stimulate your own curiosity with questions. Look for novelty and discovery in your interactions. Early relationships often break up out of boredom. You can be curious about your anxiety related to asking questions and even share your anxiety with the person making you nervous. Sharing vulnerability brings people together. Cultivate wonder and awe. To review or learn about the different attachment styles, listen to: TU59: Dismissing/Avoidant Attachment – Are You Cool, or just Cut Off? TU60: Preoccupation in Relationships – Grow Your Security by Learning the Signs of Anxious Attachment TU61: It’s Not Crazy, It’s a Solution to an Unsolvable Problem – Disorganized Attachment TU79: Attachment Spectrum and the Nervous System, Quick Review with Updates Who doesn’t love special offers? Our course is now available for a deeply discounted pre-sale purchase price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE approval for clinicians pending), all are welcome to purchase the course. Price increases on September 18th. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION We’re on Patreon! Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for just $5 a month! Gain access to private, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. We’ve partnered with Audible! Our listeners get a free audiobook plus a 30-day free membership. Cancel at any time! GET MY FREE BOOK! Tweet

TU102: Finding Neurological Safety through Relationships, with Guest Bonnie Badenoch (Replay)

Thu, 01 Aug 2019 11:00:00 +0000

The Power of Co-Regulation Explore the myth of self-regulation, the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. Learn about using interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and Polyvagal Theory to establish safety and security in therapy and in relationships. Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP talks with author and therapist Bonnie Badenoch about the concept of using safety to reshape your neural landscape through authentic relationships. Badenoch guides us through her progression of building a bridge between science and practice to cultivate the best therapeutic mind. You’ll learn how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Also, special hats off to Steve Porges and polyvagal theory. 0:00-30:00 What creates safety? How do our internal systems want us to be received? Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Polyvagal theory and Steve Porges. How can we explore the relationship between safety and curiosity and best use the language of “safety,” versus “comfort” and “discomfort”, especially towards the beginning of therapy and in new relationships? Badenoch contends that there’s no such thing as a maladaptive experience; that humans are always adaptive and require co-regulation. What’s the difference between co-regulation and auto-regulation? Is there a “myth” of self-regulation? Discussion of ideal parent figure protocol. Badenoch explores the connection between co-regulation, neural circuitry and forging relationships in your life. 30:00-60:00 Social Baseline Theory is what happens to our perceptions when someone we trust is with us. The difficulty and pain of tasks is always reduced when we’re with a trusted beloved and this relaxes our amygdala response. Badenoch walks us through her experience of feeling safe during and between client sessions. It’s key to have mutual, caring, receptive relationships with people who are willing to listen rather than jump in and try to offer advice. Young therapists. Everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have in their neural make up but how can we embody a therapeutic presence in the world through compassion or a “happy humility”? Resources: A Symphony of Gifts From Relational Neuroscience (1) Excellent PDF from Bonnie Badenoch Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology [2008] Badenoch The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Workbook [2011] Badenoch The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships [2017] Badenoch The Heart of Trauma Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships by Steve Porges! For our listeners! Our long-awaited Advanced Course is launching soon! Purchase today for the lowest price possible. Pre-sale pricing ends September 18. CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Join Us On Patreon For as little as $5 a month you can join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds to gain private, more in-depth episodes AND to support production of this podcast to provide access to the science of relationships across the globe. YES SIGN ME UP FOR PATREON, OR FIND OUT MORE, click here! THANK YOU to all of our current Patrons!! Tweet

TU101: Treating Attachment Disruptions in Adults With David Elliott (Replay)

Sun, 14 Jul 2019 08:57:00 +0000

We knew we had to interview Dr. Elliott upon finding his book, Attachment Disturbances in Adults, Treatment for Comprehensive Repair(2016). It immediately became Sue’s current favorite read and that is saying a lot! We cover quite a lot in this podcast, especially about treatment, but if that still isn’t enough, these show notes are PACKED with PDF’s of great material offered by Dr. Elliott! Below you will find 4 full PDF handouts about the salient ideas of their synthesis of treatment for adults with attachment disruptions. In today’s episode you will hear about why attachment matters, background thoughts on insecurity and prevalence, brand new (to the US) and updated attachment research and then we mostly focus on how to apply all this knowledge with clients with attachment issues, and ourselves. Dr. Elliott introduces our audience to the 3 Pillars of Comprehensive Treatment: Ideal Parent Protocol, Metacognition and Fostering Collaborative Capacity. While he touches on them all, please download the 4 PDF attachments provided below, and start by reviewing the Overview. If for any reason you have trouble getting them, contact us and we will shoot them over to you! Dr David Elliott’s Bio: Dr. Elliott received his Ph.D. in Psychology in 1989 from Harvard University. His clinical training while at Harvard included externships at the Tufts University Counseling Center, the Outpatient Psychiatry Clinic of St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Brighton, Massachusetts, and a clinical psychology internship at McLean Hospital, the psychiatric teaching hospital of Harvard Medical School. He also completed a post-doctoral fellowship at McLean Hospital, where he worked on the Adolescent and Family Treatment Unit and at the hospital’s mental health outpatient clinic. He was licensed as a Psychologist in Massachusetts in 1990, and in Rhode Island in 1993. Recognizing from an early age that there are many dimensions to human experience, any and all of which can contribute to well-being or to difficulty, Dr. Elliott has maintained a commitment to learning and understanding the whole range of human possibility — from the deepest confusions and struggles of psychosis, to the patterns of personality that create personal and relational conflicts, to the development of the self in ways that promote both independence and intimacy, and to higher levels of growth that allow for flourishing and even a recognition of oneself as beyond the limits of the personal self. Four PDFs Overview of the Three Pillars Model of Attachment Treatment (Brown & Elliott, 2016) The Five Primary Conditions that Promote Secure Attachment (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Levels of Metacognitive Skills (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Fostering Collaborative Capacity and Behavior (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Additional resources for this episode: Daniel Brown, co-author of Attachment Disturbances in Adults This is his current website, which focuses on his meditation and spiritual development activities. Attachment Disturbances in Adults Treatment for Comprehensive Repair (2016) Daniel Brown andDavid Elliott Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Interview Edited by Howard Steele and Mariam Steele Our favorite clinical reference for those that want to learn much more deeply about using the AAI to treat attachment and learn about its usefulness with various populations. Video of Strange Situation to familiarize yourself with Mary Ainsworth and later Mary Main’s phenomenal work. These and other resources have been collected for you on our Resources page! If you appreciate this work you can help it continue by becoming a Patron – ie. a super fan, or what we call Neuronerds. Get access to a private community, direct access to us and more content Click here to sign up for as little as $5 a month. You can also help us by subscribing on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify or Podbean to name a few and by leaving a review so others can discove...

TU100: Reflections and Favorites From 100 Episodes

Mon, 08 Jul 2019 11:06:00 +0000

100 Episodes and Going Strong! A Review of Our Most Popular and Referenced Episodes Tune in for a review of our listener’s favorite episodes and back stories about the evolution of Therapist Uncensored with co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott. This is a show hosted by 2 therapists who share the most usable science on attachment relationships, psychotherapy, and trauma. It combines both host lead conversations and interviews with top experts in their respective fields – neuroscientists, therapists, researchers, musicians, pop-culture celebrities, and so on – that share their wisdom about relationships. Today we celebrate starting with colleague Patty Olwell, and evolving everything from our messaging, our website, our audio and editing, and our co-host relationship. This is the last show of Season 3, BUT we will be back with new shows by early September. In the meantime, we will be re-playing some of these favorites. We look forward to our next season of deepening our conversations on attachment, neuroscience, polyvagal theory, depth psychotherapy, sexuality, and more! Most Popular Episodes By Everyone, Including Us! Known as “the bundle” of attachment, these episodes summarize the attachment spectrum and have building security at their core. They are, by far, the most referenced, reviewed, and appreciated! Episode 59: Dismissing/Avoidant attachment. Are you cool or just cut off? Episode 60: Preoccupation in Relationships-Grow your security by learning signs of Anxious Attachment Episode 61: It’s not crazy, it’s just a solution to an unsolvable problem – Disorganized Attachment Other Popular Episodes Include: *Note: listed in order of discussion plus a brief summary of the show conversation Episode 54- The Stress Response System –Attachment Across the Lifespan specifically looking at the elder years and how our attachment system affects us as caretakers of our parents or as the senior who may be undergoing the various losses inherent in aging. Stephen Porges – Episode 93: Polyvagal Theory in Action: The Practice of Body Regulation The father of Polyvagal Theory! fat led to groundbreaking shifts in our understanding of how the nervous system responds to threat and trauma. Dan Siegel – Episode 16: Inside The Mind of Dr. Dan Siegel Father of interpersonal neurobiology Discussed how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection. He called for us all to become pervasive leaders. Alan Sroufe – Episode 56: How We Come To Define Ourselves, Attachment Research Across The Decades If you’ve ever wanted to know how much you can predict a person’s development years in advance, then you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. Alan Sroufe. his research findings over the years and how insecure and secure attachment tendencies can develop and affect an individual through their lives. Bonnie Badenock – Episode 83: Establishing Neurological Safety Through Relationships discussed how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Patricia Crittenden – Episode 96, 97, & 98 One of the originators of attachment theory studied under Mary Ainsworth Ep 96: Attachment and Self-protective strategies Ep 97: Dynamic Maturation Model (DMM) Ep 98: Diving deeper into the DMM of Attachment – our summary Stan Tatkin – Episode 12: If It’s Not Good For You, It’s Not Good For Us talking about understanding how attachment plays out in Long term relationships In order to get over hidden shame, you need to expose it to safe people. Shame can only be healed interpersonally. Different cultures social constructions of shame.

TU99: Food, The Body, Trauma, & Attachment With Guests Paula Scatoloni & Rachel Lewis-Marlow

Thu, 27 Jun 2019 15:41:00 +0000

What if we flipped the script and learned to see our body as a messenger that needs to be heard rather than an obstacle to be conquered when it comes to our relationship with food? When we take physiological perspective, we learn that the body has much to say not only about food but also emotional regulation and our basic human needs for attachment and defense. Using the sensory information, attachment system and working with defenses. Who are our guests on this episode, you ask? Well here ya go, they are pretty bad-ass and they were interviewed by Dr. Ann Kelley: Paula Scatoloni, LCSW, CEDS, SEP Paula is a somatic-based psychotherapist, Certified Eating Disorders Specialist, and Somatic Experiencing™ practitioner in Chapel Hill, NC. She has worked in the field of eating disorders for over two decades. Paula served as the Eating Disorder Coordinator at Duke University CAPS for nine years and has taught extensively on the etiology and treatment of eating disorders through workshops, professional trainings, and conferences. She co-developed the first intensive outpatient program for eating disorders in the U.S with Dr. Anita Johnston. She is the co-founder of the Embodied Recovery model and the Embodied Recovery Institute in Durham, NC. Rachel Lewis-Marlow, MS, EdS, LPC, LMBT Rachel is a somatically integrative psychotherapist, dually licensed in counseling and therapeutic massage and bodywork. She is a Certified Advanced Practitioner in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and has advanced training and 25+ years of experience in diverse somatic therapies including Craniosacral Therapy, Energetic Osteopathy, Oncology massage and Aromatherapy. Rachel She is the co-founder of the Embodied Recovery model and the Embodied Recovery Institute in Durham, NC. provides ongoing training and supervision to clinical and support staff in the programmatic implementation of the Embodied Recovery model. In her private practice in Chapel Hill, NC, Rachel works with trauma, eating disorders, and dissociative disorders. TU99 Shownotes (are these not awesome or what? Patrons help us be able to do this, thank you you know who you are.) Typical Treatment Model Bio-Psychosocial model Bio: has been usage of pharmacology, re-feeding, nutritional rehabilitation, and yoga Psycho part has been education about emotion and emotional tolerance, dialectical behavioral therapy, supportive therapies to support emotional processing and cognitive distortions, cognitive behavioral treatment to address the distortions, and then try to change the behaviors by changing the cognitions, Social part: family and dynamics around having a place of belonging and one’s sense of belonging in the world, the culture, & the family Usually a treatment team: dietician, a therapist, family therapist, a psychiatrist, a physician Typical View of Recovery Goal: to get somebody to eat a prescribed amount of nutritional food in order to achieve a range of BMI or body size or shape eat it in what we call a normative style, which is a very relative term Focus is on how behaviors are a response to an attitude towards the body itself What’s Missing? Being curious about what the body is saying and expressing through the eating disorder behaviors Shifting the Perspective: The Embodied Recovery Model The Embodied Recovery Model is Somato–Psycho-Social. It expands the role of the body to include anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, movement, and posture. The 5 Core Principles of the Embodied Recovery Model The 5 Core Principles facilitate the intersection between somatic organization, subjective experience of self, and basic human needs for attachment and defense. Shifting from bio-psycho-social model to somato-psycho-social model. Directly resourcing the body so that it becomes a resource in recovery rather than an obstacle to recovery. Collaborate with the body at the physiological level to support the infrastructures that govern emo...

TU98: Dive Deeper into a Model of Attachment Science (the DMM) by Ann Kelley & Sue Marriott

Thu, 13 Jun 2019 17:25:00 +0000

Dive deeper into this new (to us) model of interpreting attachment science and discover how to apply it into your daily life. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD have fun breaking down the last two episodes where Dr. Patricia Crittenden so generously shared her model called the Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM). Focus is on personal and clinical importance in this last of a 3-part series on the DMM. Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work! Brief Hierarchy of Attachment Theory: There’s a lot of similarity between the more familiar Mary Main et al ABC-D model of attachment and the Patricia Crittenden’s DMM interpretation of attachment, but there are also some very important differences. What’s in A Name? Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) – potentially intimidating mouthful, BUT let’s break it down What it means: Sue and Ann share their take on Dr Crittenden’s walk through the developmental process that happens in attachment from infancy to adulthood. (Listen to Episode 96 and Episode 97). As we mature into different stages of our life, our needs and self-protective strategies (what the DMM helps us learn) we use change accordingly. The beautiful thing about the DMM is the way it incorporates culture, sexuality, key relationships, and danger/safety into the attachment mix. Speaking of safety…. One key difference between the DMM and traditional attachment models is the emphasis on SAFETY rather than SECURITY. According to the DMM: -attachment is about the dyadic relationship in danger, it does not just live in the person -we take in information from the environment (parent in infancy) and shift this into “behaviors” or self-protective strategies. -these strategies develop to protect us. They are our brain’s way of helping us reduce danger and increase connectedness by creating closeness, proximity, and safety. Information Processing -It’s physiological. There are 3 systems: Somatic: what does our body feel…our heart, our stomach feel Cognitive: how we process the information, how do we make meaning Emotional: what’s coming up Bottom line, we can learn from our body. They are connected but not hierarchical. Security = Integration of all 3 of these info systems (Therapist Uncensored’s model ie. getting to the green) The Attachment Spectrum As you move out on the spectrum, (in the DMM, it’s a circle, which is also really cool) we begin to inhibit or exaggerate information based on the response in our environment/the response of our caregivers. We will tend to lean Blue or Red or Tie Dye (check out episodes 59, 60, 61 for more detailed info on each color). NOTE: These colors are Ann and Sue’s Attachment & Regulation Spectrum, not colors from the DMM. It is NOT conscious and forms in the first 2 years via Neuroception. Neuroception (listen to our episode on Polyvagal Theory for more info) tells us, as infants, that if we cry, our caregiver will react a certain way. We inhibit information according to what will keep us safe and bring us closer to our ca...

TU97: The Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) of Attachment With Guest Patricia Crittenden (Part 2)

Wed, 29 May 2019 22:31:00 +0000

Note: This episode is Part 2 of 2. It stands alone, but to start at Part 1 click HERE. “So which strategy in this model is best? Every behavioral strategy is the right strategy for some problem, but no strategy is the best strategy for every problem. We need them all.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) using culture and context. LOOKING FOR THE SLIDES? DOWNLOAD THE PDF HERE: Rudiments-of-the-DMM-PDF VERSION OR THE POWERPOINT VERSION HERE: Rudiments of the DMM Powerpoint version Or if you have great eyesight :) you can view them here. Therapist Uncensored Episode 97 Show Notes: Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work! Let’s Dive In: To understand self-protective strategies, we have to understand the information the brain is using, even in infancy – it’s neurological. A’s, the B’s and the C’s emphasize different sorts of information. Strategies by Age Group and Model Representation: Infancy DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A-2: Avoidant A1-2 A1-2 B1-2: Reserved B1-4 B1-4 B3: Comfortable C1 C1-2 B4-5: Reactive D-Controlling C1-2: Resistant/Passive Preschool Preschoolers utilize false positive affect. A’s split their own self from the other, and they focus on the parent. They take the perspective of the powerful person. C’s split their negative affect, showing either the vulnerable or the invulnerable affect. They hide the other from view. DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 B1-2: Reserved C1-2 B3: Comfortable D-Controlling B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive C3-4: Aggressive/Feigned Helpless School Age DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 B1-2: Reserved C1-2 B3: Comfortable D-Controlling B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive C3-4: Aggressive/Feigned Helpless C5-6: Punitive/Seductive Adolescence DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 A5-6: Compulsively Promiscuous/Self-Reliant C1-2 B1-2: Reserved U/Cannot Classify B3: Comfortable B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive

TU96: Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies With Guest Patricia Crittenden(Part 1)

Wed, 15 May 2019 20:04:00 +0000

Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies “If it protects you, it’s the right strategy.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) using culture and context. LOOKING FOR THE SLIDES? DOWNLOAD THE PDF HERE: Rudiments-of-the-DMM-PDF VERSION OR THE POWERPOINT VERSION HERE: Rudiments of the DMM Powerpoint version Or if you have great eyesight :) you can view them here. Are you ready to move from describing injured developmental pathways and symptoms – to addressing how to heal from disrupted development? We are on the case! In this episode co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discusses exactly that with Dr. Patrica Crittenden, founder of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaption (DMM) using culture and context to understand, decode and heal early relational injuries. Their conversation was deep and wide, thus will be published in two sections. In today’s episode, TU96, Dr. Crittenden focuses on wide-reaching cultural aspects of development, safety and danger. She uses decades of observations, assessment, research and clinical work to describe her take on what she refers to as the American Attachment researchers and elucidates how her model is similar and where and why it differs. Dr. Crittenden’s focus on applying this rich research clinically aligns perfectly with the mission of this podcast. Whether you are a clinician, foster parent, educator or are interested for your own personal reasons, you will find her perspective fresh and thought-provoking! Please see the PACKED resources and show notes below! Who is Patricia Crittenden and why do want to know her…. Dr. Mary Ainsworth Dr. Crittenden studied under Mary. D. Ainsworth from 1978 until 1983, when she received her Ph.D. as a psychologist in the Social Ecology and Development Program at the University of Virginia. In addition to Mary Ainsworth’s constant guidance and support, her psychology master’s thesis on the CARE-Index, was developed in consultation with John Bowlby and her family systems research, on patterns of family functioning in maltreating families, was accomplished with guidance from E. Mavis Hetherington. John Bowbly Dr. Crittenden has served on the Faculties of Psychology at the Universities of Virginia and Miami and held visiting professorships at the Universities of Helsinki (Finland) and Bologna (Italy) as well as San Diego State University (USA) and Edith Cowan University (Australia). In 1992 she received a Senior Post-doctoral Fellowship, with a focus on child sexual abuse and the development of individual differences in human sexuality, at the Family Research Laboratory, University of New Hampshire. In 1993-4 she was awarded the Beverley Professorship at the Clark Institute of Psychiatry (Canada). In the last two decades, Dr. Patricia Crittenden has worked cross-culturally as a developmental psychopathologist developing the Dynamic-Maturational Model (DMM) of attachment and adaptation, along with a developmentally attuned, life-span set of procedures for assessing self-protective strategies. She has received a career achievement award for “Outstanding Contributions to the Field of Child and Family Development” from the European Family Therapy Association in Berlin. Currently, Dr. Crittenden’s work is focused on preventive and culture- sensitive applications of the DMM to mental health treatment, child protection, and criminal rehabilitation. Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye),

TU95: Oxytocin & Dogs (& Pets in General) as Attachment Figures

Wed, 01 May 2019 06:39:00 +0000

Oxytocin and dogs! Our pet relationships provide a trust and bonding boost, and is the natural love drug our bodies make at key relational moments such as child-birth, nursing, orgasm and falling in love.* In this episode we discuss how to create this moral molecule without even needing complicated human relationships by connecting mutually to our companion pets. What’s not to love about that? The science now is clear – this inter-species relationship is mutually beneficial and potentially life-changing for both of you. Lower cortisol, higher oxytocin, more trust and connection – ba bing! Most of us can relate to having a beloved pet that has been a significant part of our lives. We love them, and the cool thing is, they love us back unconditionally it seems, without regard to our moral failings. In fact, there is now crazy hard science research to back up the power of this connection, particularly regarding dogs. In our last episode, we told you that we’d be talking more about the love drug, oxytocin, and how we can actively induce the release of this hormone in our bodies in order to promote our favorite subject, building security. In this one we get real and walk the walk of vulnerability. So, what do pets, specifically dogs, have to do with oxytocin and building security? Well, security happens through safe connection, and connection both induces the release of oxytocin and is created by it’s presence. This cascade creates a feeling of physiological safety and openness and warmth in our bodies, which helps us to bond and build security. Believe it or not, we can consciously manipulate our body’s release of oxytocin through the bond we create with our beloved pets. And if you’ve been following the podcast, you know this ties into the previous 2 episodes on Polyvagal Theory and our autonomic nervous system. In this episode, join Ann and Sue as they talk about what this experience looks like in real life and how to cultivate the love-drug cross-species. Also hear Sue’s incredibly powerful story of tragic loss, and renewed hope, all related to pets. *Of course we are simplifying a bit – nothing is all good. Oxytocin isn’t always a love-drug, it can cause aggression or feelings of loneliness. For example if the wolves had made eye-contact as the companion dogs did (the wolves made much less eye contact and had no increase in the hormone), it would probably have spiked aggression rather than bonding (an urge to protect their bonded pack rather than attach to the alien human), but we are focusing here on the most major findings of the neuropeptide. Cooper comforting Sue… I know so MANY of you have pets as primaries, it’s a real relationship (scientifically and intuitively) that truly comforts and heals. Episode 95 show notes: Oxytocin – Ann and Sue’s favorite neuropeptide, AKA the cuddle drug, the love drug, the moral molecule. Research shows that the bond we have with our pets is reciprocal. The pleasure center of the brain lights up in us and in our animal partners. Cortisol levels decrease, and oxytocin levels increase in humans and animals when we have high eye contact. The most significant increase (up to almost 300%) is seen with dogs and varies based on breed. It’s an extra boost if we catch our dogs looking at us first. Don’t be embarrassed about your significant other with 4 legs, or less. Hear about bonding with fish, monkey’s picking and humans grooming behavior, and what lice has to do with it all. Dogs and any other beloved pet can be serious attachment figure in our lives, helping us to build a sense of safety and security in the world. It can be a very powerful relationship that is just as strong, and sometimes stronger, than human connections. Granted some people have pets as just animals, an object to guard their home or to rescue or to get dates, but that is totally different from the potential real attachment relationships that in the right circumstances can enhance the li...

TU94: The Science of Self-Regulation – Breaking Down Polyvagal Theory

Wed, 17 Apr 2019 21:34:00 +0000

TU93: Polyvagal Theory in Action – The Practice of Body Regulation With Dr Stephen Porges

Wed, 10 Apr 2019 01:55:00 +0000

TU92: Understanding Addiction and Attachment-Informed Treatment With Guests Brad Kennedy & Vanessa Kennedy

Fri, 15 Mar 2019 00:37:00 +0000

TU91: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection

Fri, 01 Mar 2019 00:41:00 +0000

TU90: Attachment Avoidance and the Difficulty Opening Up, with Robert T. Muller

Thu, 14 Feb 2019 01:10:00 +0000

TU89: Neurofluency – with Dr. Lou Cozolino, Applied Neuroscience Made Understandable

Thu, 31 Jan 2019 03:48:00 +0000

TU88: 6 Steps to Building Security & Self-Confidence You Can Do On Your Own

Thu, 24 Jan 2019 11:30:00 +0000

TU 87: Treating Complex Trauma and Attachment with Guest Dr. Daniel Brown

Thu, 10 Jan 2019 12:40:00 +0000

TU86: Mentalization and Regression, Responding to Listener’s Questions with Sue Marriott

Fri, 21 Dec 2018 02:46:00 +0000

TU85: Attachment in the Classroom with Guest Linno Rhodes

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 05:29:00 +0000

TU 84: Why Do We Over (or Under) React? The Neurobiological Underpinnings of Attachment Categories

Fri, 30 Nov 2018 04:30:00 +0000

TU83: Establishing Neurological Safety through Relationships with Guest Bonnie Badenoch

Tue, 06 Nov 2018 23:22:00 +0000

TU82: The Paradox of Masculinity with Guest Esther Perel

Wed, 24 Oct 2018 22:37:00 +0000

TU81: How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer, with Guest Juliane Taylor Shore

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 03:29:00 +0000

TU:80 Nervous Systems in the News: Dr. Blasey Ford, Sexual Trauma Stories and the Power of Patriarchy

Thu, 04 Oct 2018 00:57:00 +0000

TU79: Attachment Spectrum and the Nervous System, Quick Review with Updates

Tue, 02 Oct 2018 19:39:00 +0000

TU78: The Stress Response System (Attachment) Across the Lifespan – (Replay)

Wed, 26 Sep 2018 03:56:00 +0000

TU77: Understanding the Mind with Guest Dr. Dan Siegel (Replay)

Tue, 11 Sep 2018 03:16:00 +0000

TU76: Behind the Scenes with Ann and Sue, Reflections and a Look Ahead

Thu, 30 Aug 2018 04:46:00 +0000

TU 74: Mentalizing – A Critical Component For Secure Relating With Tina Adkins (replay)

Wed, 22 Aug 2018 03:23:00 +0000

TU73: Building Grit Through Self-Compassion With Dr Kristin Neff (replay)

Wed, 15 Aug 2018 03:34:00 +0000

TU72: Attachment Parenting Vs. Attachment Science – Clearing up Misconceptions

Sat, 04 Aug 2018 11:30:00 +0000

TU71: Speakably Sexy – Communicating to Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More Alive

Tue, 24 Jul 2018 01:10:00 +0000

TU70: Challenge Your “Busy” Identity – Gain Consciousness Over Your Pace

Thu, 19 Jul 2018 05:06:00 +0000

TU69: Exploring Intersecting Genders – What We Can All Learn with Guest Li Brookens

Tue, 10 Jul 2018 11:00:00 +0000

TU68: Separation at the Border – Compounding Trauma and Insecurity

Mon, 02 Jul 2018 15:09:00 +0000

TU67: A Practical Technique to Calm and Confidence with Guest Richard Hill

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 13:30:00 +0000

TU66: Lessons from the Single-Not-Dating World on Using Attachment Science in Real Life, with Guest Becki Mendivil

Mon, 04 Jun 2018 11:00:00 +0000

TU65: Sensorimotor Psychotherapy – Tuning Into the Wisdom of Your Body With Guest Dr. Pat Ogden

Fri, 25 May 2018 19:34:00 +0000

TU64: Mindfulness Meditation with Yoga Therapist Kelly Inselmann, Bonus Episode

Wed, 16 May 2018 13:31:00 +0000

TU63: Living with Cancer – The Six Principles of Emotional Healing with Guest Kelly Inselmann

Thu, 10 May 2018 14:55:00 +0000

TU62: The Luv Doc – Dating and Relationship Advice from the Trenches with Dan Hardick

Tue, 01 May 2018 19:30:00 +0000

TU61: It’s Not Crazy; It’s a Solution to an Unsolvable Problem – Disorganized Attachment

Tue, 24 Apr 2018 11:00:00 +0000

TU60: Preoccupation in Relationships – Signs and Solutions to Anxious Attachment

Mon, 16 Apr 2018 11:00:00 +0000

TU59: Are You Cool, or Just Cut Off? Dismissing/Avoidant Styles of Relating in Adulthood

Tue, 03 Apr 2018 01:05:00 +0000

Are you cool or just cut off - you may think you are calm cool and collected, but ask around. :) This episode hangs with the next 2 in discussing attachment patterns in adulthood and are core content of the podcast. Well, at least when it was recorded, we keep learning a lot and updating our model so tune in and see where we go with it over time ok?

TU58: Improving the Interpersonal World of the Internet for Both Kids and Adults with Guest Catherine Knibbs

Wed, 28 Mar 2018 04:34:00 +0000

TU57: Healthy Dating for Women Who Love Women with Guest Pam Greenstone LPC

Mon, 12 Mar 2018 19:42:00 +0000

TU56: How We Come to Define Ourselves – Attachment Research Over Decades with Guest Alan Sroufe

Tue, 06 Mar 2018 12:00:00 +0000

TU55: Feeling Empty? Demoralization and the Fight Back to Caring Again.

Wed, 14 Feb 2018 11:00:00 +0000

TU54: The Stress Response System (Attachment) Across the Lifespan

Wed, 31 Jan 2018 04:12:00 +0000

TU53: Complex Trauma and Managing Dysregulation with Guest Robyn Gobbel

Wed, 17 Jan 2018 11:00:00 +0000

TU52: Using Mindfulness, Movement and Yoga to Manage Arousal with Guest Kelly Inselmann

Mon, 08 Jan 2018 12:01:00 +0000

TU52.5: Bonus Episode: Meditation to Reduce Stress and Worry

Mon, 08 Jan 2018 12:00:00 +0000

Neuroscience tells us that learning to manage our arousal through practice benefits our minds and body very quickly. We wouldn’t be doing this right if we weren’t offering practical strategies.This is a bonus episode designed to go with Episode 52 – but what’s super cool is that this one is a straight 12-minute mindfulness meditation lead by yoga master and psychotherapist, Kelly Inselmann. More at www.therapistuncensored.com

TU51: Conquer Shame by Understanding the Science Behind the Feeling, with Guest Expert Dr. Steve Finn

Fri, 15 Dec 2017 02:55:00 +0000

TU50: The Psychology of an Entrepreneur -Surprising Insights with Guest Krisztina ‘Z’ Holly

Thu, 07 Dec 2017 11:30:00 +0000

TU49: Five Strategies to Manage Intense Emotions & Why Emotional Regulation Matters

Tue, 28 Nov 2017 11:00:00 +0000

TU48: Tensions Around #MeToo – Bridging Gender in This Conversation

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 12:30:00 +0000

TU47: Attachment Insecurity and Secure Parenting with Guest Tina Payne-Bryson

Mon, 30 Oct 2017 12:00:00 +0000

TU46: Redefining Infidelity – Guest Esther Perel on Love and Desire in Modern Relationships

Tue, 24 Oct 2017 12:00:00 +0000

TU45: Music, Emotion and Therapy- Interview with Bob Schneider, Austin Music Legend

Wed, 18 Oct 2017 00:33:00 +0000

TU44: Your Brain on Music – How Music Affects Your Mind, Memory and Happiness

Mon, 09 Oct 2017 05:02:00 +0000

TU43: Sexual Vitality – Six Principles of Sexual Health with Doug Braun-Harvey (Part 2 of 2)

Tue, 26 Sep 2017 04:03:00 +0000

TU42: Sexual Vitality, Refreshing our Understanding of Sexual Health with Doug-Braun Harvey (Part 1 of 2)

Tue, 19 Sep 2017 14:55:00 +0000

TU41: The Dark Side Of Therapy – Recognizing When The Therapeutic Relationship Goes Bad

Thu, 31 Aug 2017 02:08:00 +0000

TU40: Meditation And Neuroplasticity Provide a Path To Healing – An Interview With Sarah Peyton

Tue, 22 Aug 2017 15:00:00 +0000

TU39: Getting What You Want From Therapy – The Essentials Of A Therapeutic Relationship

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 15:21:00 +0000

TU38: The Blended Family – How to Create Strong and Lasting Step-Family Relationships

Wed, 26 Jul 2017 04:19:00 +0000

TU37: Organizing The Disorganized – Understanding The Elusive Attachment Category

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 21:05:00 +0000

TU36: The Neuroscience Of Psychotherapy – An Interview With Louis Cozolino

Mon, 10 Jul 2017 13:21:00 +0000

TU35: Sexuality From A Neurobiological Perspective

Thu, 29 Jun 2017 02:43:00 +0000

TU34: Treating Attachment Difficulties with Dr. David Elliott

Wed, 21 Jun 2017 21:28:00 +0000

TU33: Adverse Childhood Experiences – A Roadmap To Understanding And Treatment

Fri, 16 Jun 2017 02:03:00 +0000

TU32: Mentalizing – Breaking Down A Critical Component For Secure Relating With Tina Adkins

Wed, 24 May 2017 22:53:00 +0000

TU31: Attachment on a Spectrum – Navigating Adult Insecurity and Security

Wed, 17 May 2017 20:40:00 +0000

TU30: The Stages of Change – A Roadmap to Readiness

Wed, 10 May 2017 00:58:00 +0000

TU29: Understanding Adolescent Self-Consciousness From A Brain-Wise Perspective

Wed, 03 May 2017 19:47:00 +0000

TU28: Minding Anxiety-How To Reduce Noise In The System

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 03:03:00 +0000

TU27: Raising Secure Children With Guest Tina Payne Bryson

Tue, 18 Apr 2017 03:52:00 +0000

TU26: Live Conversation With Austin In Connection About Interpersonal Neurobiology

Mon, 03 Apr 2017 17:55:00 +0000

TU25: Ping Pong Vs. Catch: Turning Communication from Competition to Connection

Mon, 27 Mar 2017 15:25:00 +0000

TU24: Grief And Our Body’s Wisdom On Surviving It With Candyce Ossefort-Russell

Mon, 20 Mar 2017 16:26:00 +0000

TU23: Building Grit Through Self Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff

Wed, 01 Mar 2017 03:31:00 +0000

TU22: Love Letter To Group Psychotherapy

Mon, 20 Feb 2017 13:18:00 +0000

TU21: Reduce Drama in Your Life – Unpack The Victim/Perpetrator/Rescuer In Us All

Mon, 13 Feb 2017 14:44:00 +0000

TU20: Developing Racial Identity With Guests Rudy Lucas And Christine Schmidt

Wed, 01 Feb 2017 17:32:00 +0000

TU19: Increase Your Cool By Managing Your Ventral Vagal System

Tue, 24 Jan 2017 20:32:00 +0000

TU18: Polyvagal Theory: Understanding Irrational Threat Responses in Relationships

Wed, 18 Jan 2017 18:47:00 +0000

TU17: The Biology of Motivation and Habits – Why We Drop the Ball

Wed, 11 Jan 2017 01:37:00 +0000

TU16: Inside The Mind Of Dr. Dan Siegel- An Interview

Wed, 04 Jan 2017 18:37:00 +0000

TU15: Decoding The Science Of Interpersonal Neurobiology

Tue, 13 Dec 2016 16:48:00 +0000

TU14: How To Handle Post Election Tensions – Tips For The Holidays And Beyond

Mon, 21 Nov 2016 03:15:00 +0000

TU13: Our Powerful Fascination With Narcissism In The Era Of Trump

Fri, 04 Nov 2016 04:27:00 +0000

TU12: If It’s Not Good For You; It’s Not Good for Us – Interview With Relationship Expert Stan Tatkin

Tue, 01 Nov 2016 17:33:00 +0000

TU11: Gain Influence and Balance Power in Important Relationships

Thu, 27 Oct 2016 02:09:00 +0000

TU10: The 7 Circuits of Emotion – What Animals Can Teach Us About Human Relating

Tue, 11 Oct 2016 13:11:00 +0000

TU09: Minding Your Relationship- Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner

Tue, 04 Oct 2016 18:54:00 +0000

TU08: Understanding Emotional Triggers – Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What To Do About It

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 03:30:00 +0000

TU07: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It

Mon, 19 Sep 2016 13:25:00 +0000

TU06: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships (continued)- Attachment 101 Part 2

Thu, 08 Sep 2016 22:59:00 +0000

TU05: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships – Attachment 101 Part 1

Thu, 08 Sep 2016 22:27:00 +0000

TU04: A Simple Technique to Reduce Stress and Worry: Mindful Awareness Practice in Action

Mon, 29 Aug 2016 00:03:00 +0000

TU03: Different Sex Drives – Are We Screwed?

Sun, 21 Aug 2016 19:28:00 +0000

TU02: Brain Science 101 – How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationship

Sun, 14 Aug 2016 18:48:00 +0000

TU01: Brain Science & Communication

Sun, 07 Aug 2016 19:36:00 +0000