If I Speak

108: Is it time to quit your job? w/ William Rayfet Hunter

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 05:00:28 +0000

Moya is joined by doctor-turned-novelist William Hunter to talk about what it takes to abandon your career for something new. What are the signs it’s time for a change? What if you quit everything but still feel bad inside? Plus: what to do about bigoted tweets from the past.

Will’s debut novel Sunstruck is out in paperback on 25th June.
Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/

Music by Matt Huxley.

PSA: We want to hear from Special Ones!

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 10:05:01 +0000

A special announcement from producer Chal. Ash and Moya are on their holidays but will be back next Tuesday!

Take part in our audience survey here to be in with a chance of winning: novara.media/survey

107: Do we love success but hate ambition?

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 05:00:06 +0000

Moya has a big theory about success: we love the idea of it, but hate people going on about it. Did Timothée Chalamet’s naked ambition cost him an Oscar? Plus: what to do about a envious colleague.

Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/

Music by Matt Huxley.

106: When does the mask become the face?

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 05:00:00 +0000

Moya and Ash react to Louis Theroux’s documentary on the manosphere. The antics of YouTubers like HS and Sneako seem designed to amuse teenage boys and offend the normies – but when does the mask become the face? And who are the women who flock to these influencers? Plus: advice for a man who doesn’t want to dump his emotions on women.

Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/

Music by Matt Huxley.

105: How can I connect during sex?

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 05:00:53 +0000

Ash has a big theory about why so many aspects of modern life feel like masturbation: private, self-centred, disconnected. They discuss the objects and subjects of sex, and Moya makes a confession. Plus: advice for a special one who’s dating her first communist.

Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/

Music by Matt Huxley.

104: Why are young Brits flocking to Dubai?

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 05:00:40 +0000

Moya and Ash wonder what’s attracting young British ex-pats (and influencers) to cities like Dubai and Bali. Is emigration the new face of aspiration? Plus: a dilemma about being stuck in a dead-end job – or so it seems.

Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/

Music by Matt Huxley.

103: Will getting back to nature heal my feelings of burnout?

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 05:00:16 +0000

Ash wants to cultivate a better relationship with nature, but Moya detects a deeper issue around burnout, and the lure of the countryside for busy city dwellers. Plus: advice for a listener who’s lost sexual interest in her partner.

Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/

Music by Matt Huxley.

102: I’m not ready for a relationship – but I don’t want him to see other people

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 05:00:24 +0000

CONTAINS WUTHERING HEIGHTS SPOILERS! What else would two literature lovers (and actual Brontë experts) be talking about this week but the film of the moment. Is Jacob Elordi too white? Is Margot Robbie too old? How much adaptation is too much? Plus: tough love for a special one in a situationship.

Still got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026.

Music by Matt Huxley.

101: Her toxic ex returned and now our friendship is ruined

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 05:00:44 +0000

It’s a dilemmas special! (Because the Special Ones have a lot of problems.) Ash and Moya answer your emails about: two student housemates who don’t really like each other, a friendship ruined by the return of a toxic ex, a depressed boyfriend who won’t get help, a good friend with a possibly evil job, and a romantic reunion that seems like a good idea… Plus: casting Hollywood stars as Greek gods and mortals.

Still got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026.

Music by Matt Huxley.

100: We’re 100 episodes old – ask us anything!

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 05:00:39 +0000

We’re 100 episodes old! To celebrate, our audience of Special Ones ask us anything, from the personal to the political to the completely potty. What do Ash and Moya love and hate about each other? Whose greatest skill is cod psychology? And do they ever get anxious after sharing on the podcast?

Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/

Music by Matt Huxley.

99: How do you know when it’s time to quit?

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 05:00:39 +0000

Moya has been breaking the habit of a lifetime by choosing to stick with her choices rather than quit. She asks Ash how to trust your gut when it comes to leaving or staying, whether it’s a job, friendship or romance. Plus: would you use Chat GPT to name your baby?

Next week it’s our 100th episode – so ask us anything! Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/

Music by Matt Huxley.

98: Are we obsessed with having our feelings validated?

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 05:00:00 +0000

Have we become reliant on having our feelings validated instead of taking valid criticism? Ash and Moya offer their own strategies for worrying less about what other people think. Plus: how to deal with an ex who’s found God and turned rightwing but is still hanging around.

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available from https://crossedwires.live/ now!

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

97: When will I start feeling like a grown-up?

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 05:00:54 +0000

Ash has a big theory about what makes someone into a proper adult – and it’s less about age or wisdom than the experiencing of caring for someone else. Plus: can you make a casual hook-up turn serious?

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now!

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

96: Why are women choosing looks instead of books?

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 05:00:35 +0000

Sure, you look great – but can you spell pharaoh? Ash and Moya start the year with a tough conversation about the beauty regime that rules over us all. Has women’s freedom been undermined by a fixation on beauty? Are men experiencing 2000s-levels of body dysmorphia? Plus: advice for a listener who wants more intellectual conversations with her husband.

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now!

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

95: Does British culture need saving? w/ Lanre Bakare

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 05:00:31 +0000

Culture writer Lanre Bakare joins Ash and Moya in Manchester to talk about the precarious state of arts and nightlife around the UK, Black cultural identity outside of London, and the rise of ‘cultural deserts’ – as well as the unofficial launch of the ‘BAMÉ Army’. Plus: a dilemma about a difficult houseshare.

Lanre’s book, We Were There, is out now.
Recorded at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25 November 2025.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

94: Resentment, hostility, scarcity… is this modern dating? w/ Jordan Stephens

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 05:00:51 +0000

Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?

Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London on 16 December – apologies for the bass bleed from the other venue!

New live show! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Tickets are available from crossedwires.live now.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

93: I’m addicted to guilt. What’s wrong with me?

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 05:00:24 +0000

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now!

Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

92: Should we say something about women’s shrinking bodies?

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 05:00:50 +0000

NEW LIVE SHOW! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Presale tickets available at 11AM on 10th December – go to crossedwires.live and use the code CW26EARLY.

After watching the Wicked sequel, Moya wonders if politeness is stopping us from seriously addressing women’s shrinking bodies and changing faces. Are we allowing extreme thinness to be normalised? Plus: can you mould your partner into someone better?

CN: From 15:30, eating disorders. From 50:00, rape.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

91: If there’s no ‘ethical consumption’, can just I buy what I want?

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 05:00:06 +0000

Last chance! We’re at EartH in East London on 16 December with guest Jordan Stephens – a handful of tickets are still available from Dice.

Ash and Moya tackle a mystery question about ethical consumption with a conversation about the urge to beautify and shopping as a numbing mechanism. Plus: advice for a special one wondering why men won’t watch ethical porn.

CN: The dilemma contains discussion of sexual violence at 35:00.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

90: Are rightwing politics affecting my sex life? w/ Dr Annabel Sowemimo

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 05:00:56 +0000

We’re in Manchester tonight (25 November) with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – final tickets available from Contact Theatre! Then EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – get tickets from Dice.

This week Moya and Ash talk to Dr Annabel Sowemimo about STI stigma, period-tracking apps, being disconnected from our bodies, and how to afford a second child. Plus: which hospital department has the sexiest staff?

Annabel’s book, Divided: Racism, Medicine and Why We Need to Decolonise Healthcare, is out now.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

89: Am I doomed to get more conservative as I get older?

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 05:00:36 +0000

LAST CALL for our Manchester event on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre! Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – tickets are selling fast on Dice.

This week a mystery question leads Ash and Moya into conversation about whether their politics are changing as they age – including their takes on Your Party, Zack’s Greens and why the UK left hasn’t produced a Zohran. Plus: how to escape a situationship.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

88: What are the ethics of oversharing?

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 05:00:37 +0000

Come and see us live! We’re in Manchester on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre. Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – actor, author and one half of Rizzle Kicks! Tickets are available from Dice.

This week, after listening to the new album by Lily Allen – the patron saint of oversharing – Moya and Ash debate the pros and cons of spilling your guts in public. Do we owe a level of privacy to those that have wronged us? Plus: when was the best time to be a Roman?

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

Live news! Come and see us at EartH in London on 16 December

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 11:54:08 +0000

A special announcement: Moya and Ash will host a festive edition of If I Speak on 16th December. Joining us at EartH in East London will be special guest Jordan Stephens – actor, writer, one half of Rizzle Kicks and the author of a bestselling memoir, Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs! Tickets are available now from Dice.

Our north-west special ones can still grab tickets to If I Speak live at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25th November, where we’ll be talking to journalist Lanre Bakare about Black British culture beyond the capital, as explored in his book, We Were There: How Black culture, resistance and community shaped modern Britain. Tickets are available from Contact Theatre.

87: I’m losing interest in my fiancée. Should she make more effort?

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 05:00:52 +0000

Come and see us live on 25th November in Manchester with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There! Tickets are available now from Contact Theatre.

Inspired by a famous pop psychology quiz, Moya and Ash tackle a quiz about the culture that shaped them, from celebrity crushes to memorable quotes. Plus: advice for a young fiancé who’s losing interest in his partner.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

86: Why do we lap up other people’s horror stories?

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 07:00:58 +0000

We’re coming to Manchester! On 25th November we’ll be at Contact Theatre for a live show with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There. Tickets are available now from the Contact website!

This week, Moya and Ash offer a thought for spooky season: why do love hearing other people’s horror stories? Plus: Moya spills on a dating disaster, and a dilemma about a mentoring relationship gone wrong.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

85: Has pop culture turned to slop? w/ Kemi Alemoru

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 05:00:47 +0000

*Display your Special One status with our only piece of merch so far – a bag! Available from shop.novaramedia.com*

Moya and Ash are joined by Kemi Alemoru, editorial director of Glamour UK, to analyse the current state of pop culture, from Taylor Swift to A24. Has pop turned to slop? Or is it on us to fix our algorithmic intake? Plus: advice on a workplace crush.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

84: How to ace a first date (by two very different daters)

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 05:00:54 +0000

*Flag your Special One status with a massive foldable Baggu bag, available from shop.novaramedia.com*

Are you a stranger dater or a fan of the ‘indeterminate hang’? Moya and Ash explain their very different approaches to a first date. Plus: advice for an unhappy house-sharer.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

83: Is jealousy the spice of life?

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 05:00:17 +0000

*We’ve got merch! It’s a big foldable bag just for Special Ones, available from shop.novaramedia.com*

Prompted by Elena Ferrante’s novel My Brilliant Friend, Ash wonders what makes Moya jealous. Can friendships survive a power imbalance? What happens when YOU are the brilliant friend? And is jealousy a crucial part of desire?

Reading: Wounded Attachment by Wendy Brown

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

82: Help! I can’t stop hating men

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 05:00:15 +0000

*Join the Baggu believers: it’s a huge foldable bag just for Special Ones, available from shop.novaramedia.com*

Moya wants to stop hating men and start building trust, which means a dialogue about all the things that make that difficult: objectification, racist over-sexualisation, degrading comments, and rape (TW: 27m; 40m).

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

81: Is it wrong to love my AI boyfriend?

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 05:00:00 +0000

*We’ve got merch. Gift yourself the If I Speak x Baggu bag, only from shop.novaramedia.com*

A mystery question from producer Chal prompts a conversation about secrets in romantic relationships – from watching porn to cheating with an AI boyfriend. Plus: advice for an autistic dater who’s been banned from Hinge.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

80: September is the real new year. Will your resolution stick this time?

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 05:00:47 +0000

*Flag your Special One status with our official tote bag, only from shop.novaramedia.com*

Moya has a simple proposition: September is the best month for fresh starts. But why do we always want a clean slate? Plus, a straight white man who’s trying to be good and getting flak for it anyway.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

79: Help! I’ve moved back home and now my mum hates me

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 05:00:04 +0000

*Check out the official If I Speak tote bag on shop.novaramedia.com*

Moya and Ash tackle your dilemmas, featuring a middle-class mum who’s become distant and critical, an ex-boyfriend who’s blowing hot and cold, a looming holiday with an abuser, a single man wondering where all the single women are hiding, and a twenty-something struggling to build friendships.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

78: What does it take to feel safe?

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 05:00:43 +0000

*Get the If I Speak Baggu bag from shop.novaramedia.com*

A shocking real-life incident prompts a conversation about feeling safe, trusting your gut and the politics of public safety. Plus: advice on finding friendship after leaving a conservative religious community. TW: sexual assault (at 43m)

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com
Music by Matt Huxley.

77: What’s the difference between a girl and a woman?

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 05:00:00 +0000

*The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com*

What would it mean to be valued simply as a woman – not as a mother, wife, caregiver, girlypops or MILF? Ash and Moya talk about their animal natures and fear of motherhood in a chat spurred by last week’s interview with feminist critic Sophie Gilbert. Plus: how to go deeper with your friends.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

76: How porn went mainstream and changed everything w/ Sophie Gilbert

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 05:00:39 +0000

*Support the show by copping the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com*

Ash and Moya talk to Sophie Gilbert about the pornification of the ’90s and ’00s – an era when riot grrl gave way to girl power, the supermodel was replaced by the waif, and feminist solidarity battled against tabloid body-shaming and Terry Richardson. Sophie’s new book is Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

75: The world needs more flirting. Here’s how

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 05:00:08 +0000

*Support the show by copping the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com*

Moya and Ash tackle a topic that turns up in the If I Speak mailbox every week: how can we get better at flirting IRL – and coping with rejection? Plus, how to process a failed friendship. Warning: Contains musical theatre.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

74: Can your racial identity change over time?

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 05:00:28 +0000

*Flag your Special One status with the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com*

Ash has noticed that neither she nor Moya is white and urgently needs to talk about it. Has her sense of her racial identity changed over time? And where does it come from – their shade, their community, or the way they’re treated? Plus: which ethnicity is best at rice?!

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

73: Where did it all go wrong on the dancefloor?

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 05:00:07 +0000

*Flag your Special One status with the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com*

Having rekindled her appetite for fun, Ash now has a five-point plan to improve dancefloors. Plus, advice for a special one whose boyfriend isn’t weird or jealous – and that’s the problem.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

72: Why does it always have to be me taking responsibility?

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 05:00:55 +0000

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com*

Ash and Moya descend into the guilt vortex for a conversation about family, responsibility, and parents who need to be parented. Plus: advice for a special one with a workplace crush.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

71: If I’m so angry then why am I crying?!

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 05:00:42 +0000

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com. Support the show and find fellow Special Ones.*

On this episode, Moya presents an intrusive thought from a Special One about why some women struggle to express their anger. Should our ‘outlaw emotions’ be brought to the surface? Plus: help for a listener whose friends have taken an anti-trans turn.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

70: Can you ever change what you want?

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 05:00:33 +0000

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com. Support the show and send a signal to fellow Special Ones.*

In this episode, Moya and Ash talk about what to do with their impossible desires. Plus: Britain’s drinking problems, and and advice for a gay man whose female bestie has ditched him.

Got a problem? ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

69: Is marriage a hard border? w/ Jeremy Atherton Lin

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 05:00:27 +0000

Is marriage like an island, or more of an open house? Ash talks about state-sanctioned relationships with memoirist Jeremy Atherton Lin, whose new book Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told, is out now. Plus, advice for a listener whose money worries aren’t shared by her partner.

Are you in big trouble? Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

68: Help! My housemate is a pig

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 05:00:18 +0000

Moya and Ash deal with your dilemmas, including a daughter who wants to give away her inheritance, a scared mum facing up to her prejudice, a singleton wondering if moving home was a mistake, and a renter whose housemate is a total pig.

Are you in big trouble? Email us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

67: What’s up with Generation Alpha?

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 05:00:21 +0000

Moya and Ash wonder what’s up with kids these days, thinking about parenting, advertising, social media and anxiety. Plus, advice for a bereaved listener who’s furious with her stepmum.

Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

66: I’m right, you’re wrong, end of!

Tue, 27 May 2025 05:00:48 +0000

Moya has an intrusive thought about our need for certainty and Ash responds with an idea about how the internet has polarised our thinking. Plus, advice for a singleton with avoidant tendencies.

Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

65: Has your smartphone broken your brain?

Tue, 20 May 2025 05:00:18 +0000

Ash and Moya face up to all the ways their smartphone has warped their minds. Plus, advice for a trans woman struggling to interact with the world in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling.

Come and see If I Speak in London on 21st May! Final tickets are available now from Dice.

Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

64: What is the female gaze?

Tue, 13 May 2025 05:00:29 +0000

What do straight women find attractive? Too many men think the answer is ‘big muscles’ says Ash, who has a big theory about sensuality. Plus: what to do when your boss is a bigot.

Come and see If I Speak LIVE in London on 21st May! Join Ash, Moya and special guest Monica Heisey – comedian and author of Really, Good Actually – at EartH in East London, followed by a social. Tickets are available from Dice.

Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

63: Do people just want to be told what to do?

Tue, 06 May 2025 05:00:04 +0000

Moya has a big theory and you’re not going to like it: most of us would rather be told how to live our lives by someone else than work it out ourselves. Could it be? Plus, advice for a broken-hearted student.

Seats for our live show in London are going fast! Join Ash, Moya and special guest Monica Heisey – comedian and author of Really, Good Actually – at EartH in East London on 21st May. Get tickets on Dice.

Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

62: I’m not sure I want to call myself a feminist anymore…

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 05:00:50 +0000

Ash and Moya confront their feelings after a bad fortnight for feminism, from Katy Perry in space to the Supreme Court’s anti-trans ruling. Plus: advice on divorcing parents and compulsive exercising.

PSA: We’re going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Special guest TBA! Tickets are available from Dice.

Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

61: Can friendships cross class lines? w/ Natasha Brown

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 05:00:16 +0000

Ash speaks to author Natasha Brown about the big questions raised by her acclaimed second novel Universality, a ‘whydunnit’ mystery about identity, class and how we (re)invent ourselves. Plus: a dilemma about selling your soul.

PSA: We’re going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Tickets are available from Dice.

Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

60: Are we too addicted to convenience?

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 05:00:20 +0000

Ash and Moya answer a mystery question and wonder if our quest for a life of convenience was a mistake. Plus: advice for a listener dating a much, much older man. PSA: We’re going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Stay tuned for tickets next week.

Music by Matt Huxley.

59: Does my ex owe me money for the house we renovated?

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 05:00:18 +0000

Moya and Ash offer advice to a special one who’s lost everything after renovating a house with their ex. Plus: what if some of us are ‘relationship people’ while the rest are better off alone?

We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

58: I want to be fun again. Help!

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 05:00:06 +0000

Ash has an intrusive thought that she thinks Moya can help with: make me fun again! Plus advice for a listener navigating the identity politics of the student council.

We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod
Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

57: Do you really want to know about your partner’s past mistakes?

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 08:07:01 +0000

Nicola Dinan returns to the show to talk about her second novel, Disappoint Me, and respond to Moya’s question about how to deal with a partner’s past mistakes. Plus, dilemmas about lip filler and bottom surgery. CW: Contains discussion of sexual assault.

We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod
Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

56: The one where Moya grills Ash on her new book

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 05:00:06 +0000

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Moya has a bone to pick with Ash about Minority Rule and the conversations sparked by her book tour, while posing the big question: why is it so hard to form your own opinions? Plus: what to do when a newly sober friend starts drifting away.

We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod
Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

55: Joy is an act of resistance… right?

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 05:00:02 +0000

Moya and Ash discuss the uses and abuses of self-care culture and its roots in Black feminism. Plus: how to get over homesickness.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

54: Forget the boycott, gimme that brand deal

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 05:00:25 +0000

Why did Stormzy delete his pro-Palestine posts just before unveiling a Happy Meal tie-in with McDonald’s? Ash asks Moya if big artists are all just businesses in the end. Plus: how to deal with a delusional friend.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

53: Getting ‘the ick’

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 05:00:58 +0000

When did we all start ‘getting the ick’? And why does it mainly seem to be women who get it? Ash and Moya unpack the gender politics behind the ‘ick-course’. Plus: when is the right time to have the big money chat with your partner?

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

52: Happy birthday IIS! Now ask us anything…

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 05:00:56 +0000

One whole year of If I Speak! Moya and Ash celebrate with an #AMA, tackling your questions on career growth, love songs, role models, Irish politics and whether they’re friends in real life. Plus: listener feedback on last week’s “return of the slur”.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

51: Am I feminine enough for you?

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 05:00:07 +0000

Ash and Moya respond to a mystery question about femininity with a conversation about desire, agency and sexual politics. Plus: advice for a listener tangled up in their in-laws’ finances.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

50: The return of the slur

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 05:00:48 +0000

After hearing the R-word on a comedy podcast, Moya offers an intrusive thought about the limits of language policing. Plus: what to do about a horrible housemate.

Send in your questions for If I Speak’s birthday AMA episode on 18th February! ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

49: We need to see more wrinkles on screen!

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 05:00:08 +0000

Ash and Moya discuss women’s changing faces on screen and the intensifying obsession with ageing. Plus: tough love for a Special One who’s getting in their own way.

Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

48: Is it time to cut off my lying dad?

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 05:00:36 +0000

Ash and Moya tackle a mailbag full of dilemmas, including a committed couple arguing over money, a daughter considering cutting off her dad, and a student struggling to overcome the trauma of rape. Plus: Ash blushes her way through your emails about gay porn.

CW: suicide, rape.
Resources: https://thesurvivorstrust.org/support-in-your-area

Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

47: Is the era of public shaming over? w/ Yomi Adegoke at London Podcast Festival

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 05:00:45 +0000

Recorded live at London Podcast Festival last September, Ash and Moya are joined by Yomi Adegoke – author of The List and Slay In Your Lane – to talk about public shaming. Is the era of the online pile-on over? Plus, our audience of special ones help to solve some listener dilemmas.

Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

46: Porn is everywhere. How damaging is it really?

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 05:00:17 +0000

What happens when sex becomes an online stunt? Ash and Moya discuss OnlyFans creator Lily Phillips, who challenged herself to have sex with 100 men in one day, and wonder if the radical feminists were right about porn. Plus: advice for a listener struggling to build deeper friendships.

Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

45: Surviving end-of-year burnout

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 05:00:13 +0000

What has 2024 taught us? Ash and Moya reflect on a year of discomfort and grief, from personal challenges to political setbacks. Plus: what classic dance track does Ash have stuck in her head?

Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

44. How to deal with people who can’t deal with you

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 05:00:53 +0000

Moya and Ash swerve the fuzzy festive feelings in order to get some things off their chest. Plus, advice for a listener who feels trapped in their happy relationship.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

43: How far would you go to be yourself? w/ Amrou Al-Kadhi

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 05:00:51 +0000

Moya and Ash talk to writer and director Amrou Al-Kadhi about their brilliant debut film, Layla, which follows a young drag queen in chaotic pursuit of self-expression. Plus, advice on how to handle a partner with a porn addiction.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

42: Why won’t they just break up?

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 05:00:50 +0000

[Updated file!] Moya has a theory for Ash about unhappy couples who will do anything except break up. Why are we sometimes so hesitant to pull the plug? Plus, advice for a special one dealing with guilt after the end of a relationship.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

41: When do good habits become dark obsessions?

Tue, 03 Dec 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Moya and Ash tackle a mystery question about breaking bad habits, with a frank discussion about open relationships, exercise and disordered eating (content warning). Plus, a listener with a question about cross-racial dating, and verdicts on Gladiator II and GNX.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

40: Do aesthetic trends offer clues to political shifts?

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 05:00:19 +0000

Moya has a big theory for Ash about aesthetic trends as a harbinger of the US election results, which prompts a very adult discussion (read: argument) about the purpose of the podcast. Plus a bundle of your Missed Connections, including hotties spotted in Glasgow, Manchester, at the Palestine protest and – where else! – an NTS street party.

Moya’s favourite print is from Headway East London:
https://www.submittolovestudios.org/

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

39: I’m in big trouble! Your dilemmas answered

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 05:00:44 +0000

Ash and Moya tackle another bumper crop of your dilemmas, including a special one who wants to stop mothering her friends, a burned-out student struggling to get back on track, a self-confessed slacker looking for a meaningful career, and an expat looking for laughs.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

38: Why is Andrew Tate’s manosphere so seductive? w/ Matt Shea and Jamie Tahsin

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 05:00:43 +0000

Moya and Ash are joined by the authors of Clown World, a new book exposing Andrew Tate’s grip on his followers around the world, to talk about why patriarchy is so seductive. Plus, advice for a special one who is drowning under their workload.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

37: Do you believe in ghosts?

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 05:00:14 +0000

The veil is thin this time of year, so Moya and Ash tackle a mystery question about the spirit realm. Plus, neighbourhood cat panics and advice for a listener who can’t stand that her friend is a police officer.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

36: Should being a girlboss earn me a break from cleaning?

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 05:00:33 +0000

Ash and Moya wonder why women still shoulder the burden of housework, even when they’re #leaningin to their careers. Plus, a listener who doesn’t know how to deal with his cheating ex-partner.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

35: Help! My scatty friends can’t meet my standards

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 05:00:42 +0000

Are you a Black Cat? Or a #cleangirl? Do you have Main Character Energy? Moya has a big theory about the urge to give ourselves new labels. Plus, a listener who feels like her friends and family can’t meet her standards.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

34: How mean can you be to other people’s kids?

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 05:00:05 +0000

Ash and Moya channel their inner Clint Eastwoods to lament the rise of trick or treating, and consider how to interact with other people’s children. Plus, a listener dealing with confusing feelings after a difficult abortion.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

33: What makes you embarrassed to be leftwing?

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 05:00:01 +0000

Moya and Ash turn the weapon on themselves with a Mystery Question about the lows of being on the left – haters and losers, pyrrhic victories, strategic balls-ups and the rest. Plus, a listener who’s falling out of love just as their partner needs support.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

32: What makes a house a home?

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 05:00:55 +0000

Inspired by Moya’s big move, Ash wonders what the necessary ingredients are to turn a house share into a home. Plus, advice for a listener whose friend is infatuated with her lecturer.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

Help us build people-powered media: https://novara.media/support

31: Why isn’t my best friend excited about my wedding?

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 05:00:31 +0000

Moya and Ash argue over a big theory about our need for surprise. Has modern life killed off spontaneity in everything from dating to holidays? Plus: advice for a listener who’s wondering why an old friend isn’t more excited to be his best man.

We’re sorry about the uneven audio quality for part of the dilemmas section!

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

Help us build people-powered media: https://novara.media/support

30: Unbothered, moisturised, happy – and ready for a relationship?

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 05:00:57 +0000

Are you sitting comfortably? Because Moya has come to a big realisation – and some new rules on dating etiquette. Plus, a whole a new batch of your Missed Connections! Get in touch if you recognise any of these objects of our affection.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

A message from Moya…

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 05:00:59 +0000

Moya and Ash are absent this week – but in the meantime, they’re preparing for a LIVE recording of the show this Sunday, 15th September, as part of the London Podcast Festival.

They’ll be joined wise guest Yomi Adegoke, author of The List, to help solve your dilemmas and sort the personal from the political. Special Ones, assemble.

Final tickets are available from kingsplace.co.uk.

29. Has therapyspeak improved our lives?

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 05:00:27 +0000

Does knowing your attachment style make life any easier? Moya and Ash tackle a mystery question about our newfound fluency in the language of therapy. Plus: advice for a listener who’s becoming estranged from his sister.

ONLY TWO WEEKS until our live show at the London Podcast Festival! Join Moya, Ash and special guest Yomi Adegoke, author of The List, for an intimate conversation on 15th September. Tickets are available from kingsplace.co.uk.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

28: What the hell is a gut feeling, anyway?

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 06:00:52 +0000

Moya is on the brink of change – but can she trust her gut on the biggest decision of her adult life? Plus, advice for a listener confused about their lifelong lack of sex.

You’ve only got a few weeks to grab your ticket for our live show at the London Podcast Festival on 15th September, with a very special guest… available from kingsplace.co.uk.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

27: I’m in big trouble! Your dilemmas answered

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 05:00:11 +0000

Ash and Moya dedicate a whole show to answering your dilemmas! Featuring a woman questioning her age-gap relationship, an infuriating parent who won’t budge on politics, a ghosted lover plotting her revenge, a loner who wants to start socialising, and a low-earner who resents her rich friends.

You’ve only got a few weeks to grab your ticket for our live show at the London Podcast Festival on 15th September, with a very special guest… available from kingsplace.co.uk.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

26: I’m so sorry, I’m English

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 05:00:20 +0000

Moya has a big theory for Ash – but the script goes out the window when they start talking about the far-right violence engulfing the UK and unpacking their own emotional reactions to English racism. After that: playing matchmaker with the first batch of Missed Connections.

Content note: This episode includes discussion of racist language and violence.

Remember, we’ll be at the London Podcast Festival on 15th September with a very special guest. Grab your tickets now from kingsplace.co.uk.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

25: I hate the way that you walk, I hate the way that you talk

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 05:00:46 +0000

Prompted by Kendrick’s anthemic Drake diss, Ash claims we’re living through the summer of the hater. But what does it mean to hate so hard? Plus: a listener who feels rejected by her English in-laws.

Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Got your tickets for the If I Speak live show yet? We’re at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September. Tickets available from Kings Place now.

Music by Matt Huxley.

24: Help! What’s my purpose in life?

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 05:00:31 +0000

Moya and Ash butt heads over the lure of individualism and living a political life. Plus: Moya enters her busy-body era with a new segment, Missed Connections! Tell us about the brief encounters you just can’t shake, and we will hunt them down and make them bae.

Email us your missed connections with as much detail as you can recall, and send those – and your dilemmas – to ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from Kings Place now.

Music by Matt Huxley.

23: Surviving your Saturn return

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 05:00:48 +0000

Moya and Ash debate the power of astrology and explain how they survived their ‘Saturn return’ era. Plus: Ash’s best anti-procrastination techniques.

Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from Kings Place now.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

22: How will I know if I really want kids? w/ Renay Richardson

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 05:00:17 +0000

Ash and Moya are joined by podcast entrepreneur and single mum Renay Richardson to talk about the realities of solo parenting, from being blocked from adopting to the shortage of Black sperm donors. Plus: a harrowing faux pas.

Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from Kings Place now.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

21: What does it take to be effortlessly cool?

Tue, 09 Jul 2024 05:00:26 +0000

Ash has a theory of cool that involves nonchalance, style and timing – but Moya’s not so sure. Plus, advice for one listener who wants respect in their situationship, and someone dealing with a newcomer to the family.

Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from kingsplace.co.uk now.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

20: Skinny is back in fashion. FFS!

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 05:00:06 +0000

The return of low rise jeans was a harbinger of something worse: being seriously thin is back in fashion. But why now? Moya and Ash have a Big Theory. Plus: the brown girl moisturising protocol.

CW: weight, dieting, eating disorders, cosmetic procedures.

Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from kingsplace.co.uk now.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley

19: We’re boiling with rage

Tue, 25 Jun 2024 05:00:38 +0000

Moya has a big theory about why everyone’s on such a short fuse these days and Ash responds to a listener with a debilitating crush. Plus: science or magic?

We’re going to Glastonbury! Moya will be joined by Shon Faye and a LEGENDARY special guest a live recording of the show, and will host two Radical Connections sessions to get you matched up. Find us on the Nomad stage in Shangri-La.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley

18: Why does everything feel so disposable?

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 05:00:07 +0000

Ash presents a big theory about disposability and social shame prompted by a wardrobe clearout, and Moya responds to a dilemma about dating while living with parents. Plus: spot remedies.

Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from kingsplace.co.uk now.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley

17: Feeling seen w/ Nicola Dinan

Tue, 11 Jun 2024 05:00:01 +0000

Moya and Ash talk to Nicola Dinan, author of Bellies, about why we crave external validation yet hate to be perceived. Plus: advice for a listener who got engaged while drunk.

Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from kingsplace.co.uk now.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley

16: How do you recover after betrayal? w/ Chimene Suleyman

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 05:00:56 +0000

Moya and Ash talk to Chimene Suleyman, author of The Chain, about uncovering her ex-boyfriend’s secrets and why society lets abusive men get away with it again and again. Plus: a listener needs help with their sexless relationship.

Come and see If I Speak live at the London Podcast Festival on 15 September! Tickets available from kingsplace.co.uk now.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley

15: Dissociation is my superpower

Tue, 28 May 2024 05:00:13 +0000

Does the body keep the score? Ash and Moya explore the border between grief and trauma and how to embrace being emotionally messy when disaster strikes. Plus: an “accidental incel” writes in.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley

14: What does it mean to live authentically? w/ Oisín McKenna

Tue, 21 May 2024 05:00:02 +0000

Ash and Moya talk to Evenings And Weekends author Oisín McKenna about living authentically, intense female friendships, and how financial precarity limits our self-exploration. Plus: compulsory heterosexuality and suspicious new boyfriends.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley

13: I’m the problem, it’s me

Tue, 14 May 2024 05:00:35 +0000

What’s the difference between tactics and standards? Ash explains with a Big Theory about how we behave in relationships. Moya brings a dilemma from an anxious people-pleaser. Plus, Myers-Briggs.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley

12: How to be a good friend

Tue, 07 May 2024 05:00:15 +0000

Moya and Ash get deep and meaningful on the subject of true friendship, and help a listener who’s feeling weird about dating a “normie”. Plus: blame game pass-the-parcel.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

11: Help! My partner’s too posh

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 05:10:17 +0000

Ash and Moya answer a Mystery Question about what they’ll do on the left-wing commune of their dreams, before helping a listener deal with class envy in their dating life. Plus: The Tortured Poets Department.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

10: Do I have to be nice to my friend’s partner?

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 05:00:28 +0000

Ash and Moya ask if honesty is the best policy when it comes to our friend’s partners, before tackling two dilemmas about unwanted friendship and non-monogamous marriage. Plus: an important new personality test.

Catch Moya in conversation with Yomi Adegoke, author of The List, at Intelligence Squared in London on 29 April – use the code SPEAK25 for 25% off tickets.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

09: Should you ever shag a Tory?

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 05:00:34 +0000

Ash and Moya tackle the politics of sex appeal in response to the show’s first ever Mystery Question, and respond to a listener struggling with guilt after cheating. Plus: things not say in bed.

Catch Moya in conversation with Yomi Adegoke, author of The List, at Intelligence Squared in London on 29 April – use the code SPEAK25 for 25% off tickets.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

08: How to cultivate optimism

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 07:00:34 +0000

Moya and Ash think about how to stay hopeful when the future looks bleak, and give advice to listener whose marriage is suffering from major communication issues. Plus: Cowboy Carter.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

07: What do straight men know about dating?

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 06:00:15 +0000

Ash and Moya talk to Matt Kendall from The Love Cupboard podcast about how straight men perceive the women in their lives. Plus, a dilemma from a listener who’s been evicted by her friends’ parents.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

06: Do you owe your parents anything?

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 07:00:49 +0000

Ash presents her big theory about chosen families and what to do when your best friend is having a baby. Moya shares two listener dilemmas: can you live in a different city to your partner? And do you owe your parents anything? Plus, the wisdom of skunkworks.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

05: Are we trapped in a fantasy?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 07:00:56 +0000

Moya is joined by a special guest, author and journalist Shon Faye, to work out the lure of political fantasies and advise a listener who’s feeling guilty about inheriting money. Plus: trust issues and love-bombing.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

04: Can you teach an adult to have empathy?

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 07:00:24 +0000

Ash and Moya tackle a Big Theory about how we punish criminals and respond to a listener who doesn’t know how to end a situationship. Plus: what the hell are ‘energy vectors’?

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

03: The dating trap

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 07:00:30 +0000

Is there such a thing as a sexual marketplace? Moya and Ash debate the dating trap for straight women and respond to a listener who’s too tired from work to change their life. Plus, a quick round of Shag, Marry, Kill.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

02: Is my long-distance relationship doomed?

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 07:00:46 +0000

Ash and Moya respond to a listener embarking on an LDR across the Irish border, and tackle Ash’s Intrusive Thought about her cat Moussa. Plus, Moya has the best way to lance an infatuation boil.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

01: Should I give my mum an allowance?

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 07:49:26 +0000

Ash and Moya respond to a listener who’s struggling to support her mum financially and wonder why people are being weirdly hyper-sexual online. Plus: the most common misconception about Moya, and the story behind Ash’s Twitter handle.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*

Music by Matt Huxley.

Introducing: If I Speak

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 11:57:30 +0000

On If I Speak, Ash Sarkar and Moya Lothian-McLean tackle the world’s social dilemmas (and some of yours).

Every other Tuesday we lay bare the weird stuff we can’t stop obsessing over, debate our wildest notions, and invite our smartest friends to help us wrestle with life’s big questions.

From dating disorders to online etiquette, family feuds to career conundrums, the personal gets political on If I Speak. Starting 20 February.

Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

*Gossip, elevated.*